sun 25 July af

[bear73]

back to day one - the one cigarette DID lead to 10 more and 4 beers.
I have re-played it and I was rationalising why I could drink (others were, I can just have one others were lapsing etc etc)

It's all BS - I AM going to avoid situations where these triggers come up for a month - staying in with DVDs - meet friends for food - coffee - hang out with others who also don't want to drink.

We have another gig we are putting on in 4 weeks - I can't get out of this
THE PLAN
I will drive so I have no choice,
I will take nicotine inhalator,
I will write cards with reasons why I don't do either anymore,
I will go home as soon as bands finish.

Playing bout later today at 6 - I feel ok bit tired (bed at 3am) BUT there is time for more sleep and good food and rest.

I feel frustrated and angry with myself but I need to be positive - I must break these associations- not be in the situations for a while(exactly what you have all been telling me)
I need to help myself - and put myself first - no one can do it for me.

[greeneyes]

sun 25 July af

Morning abbers!!!

Bear, I'm going to take little doggie to the river and then I'm going to come back here and kick yer arse!!! I'm glad you plan to avoid trigger situations for a month. I'm having a problem with your "I can't get out of this" statement. BS!! Yes you can and should if you need to. When you say things like that you are negating the idea of putting yourself first.

Here is Marshy's forecast BBC Weather | Derby (I think). I keep browsing the Peak District site and am very envious! That picture gallery is incredible.

Wakey wakey!!! I'll be back!

[Lavande]

sun 25 July af

Morning Abbers!

I'm up, just waiting for EB grandson to wake up

bear - it's up to you! You can do it if you really want to!!!!!!

Greenie, maybe we should put together a little tour group. I'll bet a few of us would enjoy seeing the Peak District

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Sunday!
Lav

[papmom3]

sun 25 July af

I'm in for the tour of the Peak District!! I need some time to save up but wouldn't it be marvelous??? Do you think the pubs on the tour sell non AL drinks?

Bear-Greenie and Lav said it best. You know what you have to do if you really want to do it. If G can play gigs and stay sober, so can you but you might have to bow out for a while until you are stronger.

Good luck with the EB today Lav!! I bet you'll sleep great tonite!

Slow getting going today. another hot one. Really should clean this pig sty and do laundry. Sigh. I did do dishes last nite tho!! Huge accomplishment in my book (no DW)!! BBQ this evening at Sis's house. Just dad and me tho-we think bro and fam are at the Cape.

I know one thing for sure........

BBL

:l

[Doggygirl]

sun 25 July af

Fabbie Abbies! Happy Sunday to one and all. After the storms yesterday it is cooler here today, but still very humid. So I'm sure once it's back in the 80's (hopefully not 90's today) I will be grateful for A/C.

It's Dill Pickle Day at the Doggy House. Also need to remember the zukes in the dehydrator and change out batches later this morning. Sometimes it's easy to forget that thing as it is in another room - not the kitchen! My jars are going through the dishwasher now, so will be zoom zoomin' soon.

Fell asleep early last night on the gymnasts competing in the Cover Girl classic.

Bear, I was not able to stop drinking until I was 100% committed to it as my #1 priority. There is absolutely NOTHING I "can't get out of" if I even suspect it will jeapardize my sobriety. For me, that's what it takes. I may have missed some social events and even disappointed some people along the way. But I'm sober and happy and there is NO WAY I would trade the wonderful things that sobriety has brought to my life for a few stinkin' events.

I'm very grateful to be sober and smiling about it today. One thing is for sure.....

DG

[universal]

sun 25 July af

Morning guys! I started my day with an all womans AA group. It was great, it was the one at the centre I was at last week. Although i am not sure if I belive all of the AA philosophies, it is nice to be in a room with people who can totally relate. And when they share I am like "oh my god, I so know what you are talking about there".

So feeling good today. I will not drink today.

Love and hugs,

Uni

[momof3]

sun 25 July af

Good Morning All,

Happy Sunday,

Yesterday's thread was getting a little racy with all of the talk of _____! It was great fun.

It's going to be a little cooler today. My oldest daughter is going for her first scuba diving experience with my husband. I hope she likes it because I would love to get back into it again and bring her along.

Bear, Did you read my posts/warnings yesterday? Given your plans for this weekend, I was quite concerned that this would happen and it did because you were putting yourself in the same situation that has caused you to drink before. I suspect you didn't have an exit plan. Your morning posts such as these (and there have been many) seem like "confessions" that lack in commitment. There must be a part of you that wants the freedom of being free from Al since you post in the Monthly Abs thread and you keep on trying. I admire you for that. If you really want to quit, you need to get serious and have a plan. Obviously, what you are doing is not working. One thing is for sure, this pattern will continue if you don't make some serious changes.

Universal, Great to hear you started your day with an all woman's AA group. Keep up the great work!!

Papmom3. Loved your agility video the other day. I grew up in MA and RI by the way.

Mr G. Loved your description of how your experience with playing the guitar has become more creative and profound since you became AF. I was so afraid that I would lose my creativity, humor, and spontaneity when I quit drinking. Not the case at all. It was just stinkin thinkin.

DG, Lav. Have a great day.

Greenie, Looking forward to reading your post when you return from your walk.

M3

[Doggygirl]

sun 25 July af

universal;919461 wrote: Although i am not sure if I belive all of the AA philosophies, it is nice to be in a room with people who can totally relate. And when they share I am like "oh my god, I so know what you are talking about there".

Uni, I am very glad to hear about your good experience with the other women. Finding common ground with others as it pertains to alcoholism has been such a blessing in my life. One of the worst things about the later years of my drinking was that desparate loneliness and isolation. Please don't worry, especially at this stage, about all the AA philosophies and whether you agree with them. Take all that one day at a time too. The most important thing is not to drink today. If AA helps you accomplish that, then :yougo:. If AA does NOT help you accomplish that, then the philosophies are sort of irrelevant, non?

M3, wow - scuba diving!!! I'm a little afraid of water. I love being on it or near it, but not always in it. Snorkeling freaks me out. Someone told me that I would probably like scuba diving better with the more consistent air flow for breathing. (the water coming down the snorkeling tube caused me the Big Problems with that!) What do you think?

I have enough cucumbers for all of us to have dill pickles, sweet pickles, bread and butter pickles, cucumber salad, cucumber soup, and all the _______________ anyone can think up to have with a cuke. All I ask is that you come and get 'em.

I pickled 16 quarts today. Then went out to the garden and I swear picked enough for another 16 quarts. And more 5+ pound zukes. And it appears some Butternut squash are ready. And acorn squash close. Isn't it too early for this? Tomatoes starting to REALLY come. I'm afraid I will be buried alive in produce.

Well, one thing is for sure......

DG

[greeneyes]

sun 25 July af

bear's arse kickin'

bear73;918791 wrote: Had a drag on a ciggie today - forgot and then put it out - gonna skip over that - no more of that.
I dreamt last night that I drank - horrible SO wasn't fun - I'm stocking up on diet 7UP for later.Working so don't want to feel cloudy headed - and we have a bout tomorrow - need to be ship shape for that..

Here's your arse kickin'... It was a good one but I changed my mind and erased it. (because I am queen you know )
Heres 2 things I don't get.
You forgot? (I have a "BULLSHIT!" rubber stamp in my desk) And you all of a sudden remembered after you had that nice hit of nicotine you wanted. "Forgot" (STAMP)

All your rationalizations for drinking get the (STAMP), but one is really scary... "others were lapsing". What does that mean exactly? Are these the "others who also don't want to drink" that you plan to hang out with? If so, you need to be more selective because you aren't ready to be with people who are lapsing.

And the "can't get out of this".... (STAMP)

I'm going to dig up the pothole poem for you. There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

[Doggygirl]

sun 25 July af

I know the arse kickin' comes first! (because we love ya Bear!!!)

After that...how was your time with little doggie and the rest of your day?

DG

[momof3]

sun 25 July af

Greenie, I love the pothole poem. And a good arse kicking every once in awhile!

DG, I found scuba diving to be alot easier than snorkeling. Clearing the water out of a snorkel can be no fun, especially when you enhale some water back.

If you're interested in scuba diving, most scuba shops offer 1 or 2 hour exploration where you get a little taste of what it's like. That way, you don't have to invest the money in classes if you decide it's not your thing. That's what my daughter did today and she loved it. You will know immediately whether you like it or not. Before my kids were born, I used to go on diving trips. I love the experience of being underwater. It's a whole other world down there. Very cool and very relaxing.

M3

[greeneyes]

sun 25 July af

:H bear it IS because we love ya. All the things that you are scared of being or not being if you don't drink won't be there. I know they feel real but they aren't real. It's som much better! I wish I could convince you of that.
Last night I was talking to GF telling her about not being on AD anymore and that I felt being my normal self was uncharted territory since I started on AD right after I quit drinking. She said "That's great because I think your normal self absolutely ROCKS!" I felt 10 feet tall! A giant green bean!

I'm ready for the abbercizers thread! Exercise really ramps up my mojo!! The greenway is a 4 mile walk. M3 I know what you say about get up and out is true for me too. I'm even down to 2 mugs of coffee and they are loosing their importance. The slant of the morning sun through the woods is spectacular when it dances off the spider webs and catches the butterfly wings as they flit by. I saw a few people I knew along the way and luckily I wasn't wearing my visor in the flipped up position :H which I do sometimes on the trail so I can see more. :H Yeah I know, no wonder I've not had a date. I'm going to carry water shoes so I can get in the river with little doggie and cross over to the island.

I made that wasabi cucumber soup and it wasn't as good as it sounded. The pureed cucumber is sort of frothy. I bought jars for fig preserves but it was SO flippin' hot I could not pick figs. I'm despairing over how many are on the ground! My neighbor brought over some freshly picked okra so it's :bath2:, a movie and okra for me tonight. Um... maybe rethink that and add some protein because there is a blood drive tomorrow at the library. Last time I wasn't really well prepped and it was very hard on me. At least I hope that is the case and tomorrow is a breeze.

Uni - I'm so glad you were comfortable at the meeting! I am really excited for you.

M3 - where's the diving? River? Lake? It's been a long time for me.

Lav wouldn't that be fun to go to the peak district? Or even something here. Who went to that cool botanical place was that you?

papmom hope you are enjoying the BBQ. Makes me want some.

One thing is for sure.....

[momof3]

sun 25 July af

Greenie,

Yes indeedie, you are a giant green bean. It's a great journey of discovery getting to know oneself isn't it? I am off ADs too. Just pure me now.

My daughter went scuba diving in a pool today but I used to travel to scuba dive quite a bit before kids--Jamaica, Hawaii, several places in Mexico (used to fly into Cancun, rent a car, and just drive down the Yucatan peninsula diving all the way to Belize), Galapagos Islands, Grand Caymans, Florida Keys, Crystal River in Fl (to see manatees). I haven't been diving since my older daughter was born. I'm looking forward to sharing the experience with her.

[auntiegriselda]

sun 25 July af

Happy Sunday to all!. Almost 100 degrees here today. I'm still AF, this is the 7th day. I'm going to have to be strong the next few days, I'm going up to my nieces' house to babysit the grandnephew this week and we usually have some wine together. Not this time. I will check in here often.
Congrats to all who are freezing and pickling things. I'm really envious.
Cheers to a great week!
Auntie

[Doggygirl]

sun 25 July af

Hi Greenie and M3 and Auntie! (and all others yet to come today!)

Auntie, do you have good plan for your trip? Such things as...

1. What will you tell your niece about why you are not drinking? (I strongly prefer the truth in some form - soft version or hard core version - if that is at all doable. If not, be ready with a good lie that will hold you up for the entire time you are there - on meds? doctors orders?)

2. What WILL you drink? Can you take something AF that is special along with you?

3. What will you do when urges strike - and KNOW that they probably will! Computer access to come to MWO? Some reading material about sobriety? Print out of the tool box and any other threads that inrpire you?

4. What is your exit strategy, even while you are staying with someone else?

I would have an AA meeting schedule with me too. (you already know that!)

Even today I think about these sorts of things in advance. I'm leaving nothing to chance when it comes to my sobriety. And the LAST excuse I will ever use to drink is that I was too embarrassed to tell someone that I DON'T drink any more. Lots of people around here fall because they say they just "could not" tell someone they don't drink. Don't let that be your excuse!

You can do this!!!!!

PS - come one come all and get your free veggies. Geez - Mr. D went to the garden with me when he got home, and we deemed the first butternut squash ready to go!!!! Problem is, by the time I get done dealing with picking, washing, canning, storing, refrigerating, dehydrating, etc. I have ZERO energy or interest in cooking anything up for dinner!!!!! :H

DG