July Jamboree ~ Week 4

[rebirth]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

[img][/IMG]

This is my 6 year old son. I miss him desparately today.:upset:

BUT I wont drink on that one!!

[rustop61]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Good morning everyone

Rebirth, your son is adorable. You are one smart lady to kick Al's ass at this stage in his life. I wish I had done it when I was your age. Better late than never I guess. Each time I have I long AF spell I feel stronger. I am going to France for a few days next week and that will be a challenge. I am thinking about taking antabuse before I go. Otherwise it is too easy to leave the door ajar. Because I can moderate successfully socially I sometimes fool myself into thinking that its ok and before I know it I am back to my old destructive ways of drinking. I have had an AF month of July so why ruin things for a few days. My thinking is defnitely changing, thank you ladies.

Busy, busy with my visitors. At this stage I crave some time to myself. Even MWO is a snatched few minutes in the morning. Have a great day everyone.

Rustop

[Rusty]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Good Morning July Friends,

I can't believe this month is almost over. Where does the time go?!

I first just want to say Star, LBH, Rebirth, and Dill....thank you for your kind words about my post. They made my eyes well up.:l I did NOT mean to imply, though, that any of you drank with open AL in the car...and rereading my post, I really don't know why I said thatops:

Lav-did you have a quiet evening now that the granddogs and EB have left? You probably turned on loud music just to keep yourself company (heh, heh). Sorry to hear Mr. Lav is still "out there." I prayed on Sunday that he would have an epiphany and see what a wonderful wife and family he has.

Rebirth-your son is so cute...no wonder you miss him! Also, good luck making it to 6 months-I know you can do it. I bet now that you're AF, those beautiful eyes of yours are more sparkly than ever.

Cyntree-classical riding-I envy you because I used to love to ride and I miss it. A Tuscan country house-sounds so romantic.

Rustop-have fun in France. Oh, how well I know about the temptation going there. Yup, I caved into it in December, 2008. I shudder to think of how much $$$ I spent on wine. Ugh.

LBH-I would buy something “special” for me alone after a hard day for when I was “done”, you know the whole sense of reward, it was my happy place for many (many) years." That fit me to a T for a few years. I so understand what you're saying.

Dill-I can empathize with how the "never drinking again" is overwhelming for you. It is for me. That's why I do it ODAT, because if I thought "I can never drink again," I would NEVER stop drinking. I think what you're feeling is to be expected and probably was felt by most people here. I loved your line about praying at church to remain AF. It struck a nerve with me. You are so bright, Dill, and I love your thoughts, words and deeds. You are a blessing to me.

Chill-I'm glad your family got to see the new, improved, beautiful, and HAPPY Chillgirl! I bet they are so proud of you, and rightly they should. You deserve happiness and are a joy to have on this thread! I bet you get bombarded with fan mail after that visit.

Star-I SOOOOO can relate to your angst about your son coming home and projecting the worst case scenario when he does. I have ALWAYS done that to myself, and I need to STOP it right now, because, like Spuddleduck says in her quote, "Today is the tomorrow I worried about and it turned out fine." That is so true! I am with you in spriit, though, because I did the same thing before I went to Maine for a beach vacation. I kept remembering comments that were made to me by my hard-drinking cousins years ago and I thought I would find the same thing. Nope, just the opposite. I was greeted with nothing but volumes of love. I am sending you a PM, too.


Shelley-where are you, girl? Inquiring minds want to know. Let's see the pic of the mother-of-the-bride dress

Sooty-come out, come out wherever you are!

Hi to Gaia and anyone else who stops by, have a great AF Wednesday.

With love and friendship,

Rusty

[Stargazerlily]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Hump day already. I woke up in the middle of the night and listened to a relaxation CD and it sent me into a deep sleep. It was lovely and natural. I loved Cyntree's description of riding lessons and being told to stay relaxed and centered. I am focusing on that today. Thanks Cyn.

Chill, loved your description of the new you. I had to read it twice cause I did not get who you were describing at first (too early in the morning) but realize that I am the same. AF, less anxious, less self-centered and calm. What a difference. You are growing and it is wonderful to hear about the positive changes in your life.

Dill, thanks for your support. I will need to vent and ask to hear about how you kept your sanity and handled self care. I am already looking up websites that talk about adults moving in with parents. I am taking it ODAT and stay AF so I am healthy and at my best. Alcohol really takes away your confidence and makes you unsure, depressed and anxious. I don't need that!!

Rebirth, you are doing so well and I can hear in your posts that you are gaining strength daily, creating a new life filled with love and the things that money can't buy. I read on other threads the sharing and support you give others. You are so appreciated. I love to read your posts.

LBH, totally relate to your pattern of drinking. Most of the time AF, but have not closed the door like I should and want to. Right now a time of being AF and feeling healthier and strong. There are no negatives. None.

A busy day ahead of me, so stay centered and peaceful, it's the only way to go.

[Rusty]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Star,

Are you online? I want to send you a PM.

xoxox

Rusty

[dill]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

The morning here is densely foggy and 72 F. It's "sticky". I'm meeting a girl friend for a walk. She and I have a weekly engagement through the summer and it's been wonderful. We have been friends for 30 years now. We met when we became neighbors in a small town near here. "Pleasant St." is where we lived and it lived up to its name for us and the time we lived there. We watched each other's children while the other would be at work at our part time jobs. She's the sister I never had. Even though open container is not legal here in Ohio, the little neighborhood we lived in was very easy going, hence she and I could be seen of a summer evening strolling on Pleasant St., glass of wine in hand, sometimes with our children, sometimes on our own. That was long ago, and when I was still the one with the power. Now the tables have turned and alcohol is the one with the power. Ah well.

I still have the power, as long as I don't take the first drink.

[Rusty]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

My Dear Dill,

I just love your posts...your warmth and your honesty.

Sending hugs your way for speaking out to us.

xoxox

Rusty

[Chillgirl]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Happy humpday everyone! Where is our driver Sooty?

Star - How old is your son and how long does he intend moving home for? You could find he finds it difficult and moves on sooner than expected. I can remember going home for a few weeks in my early 20's between apartments and finding it unbearable, not because we didnt get along but 3 adults in a house is very different from 2 adults and a child.

Rebirth - Your son is adorable! What a wonderful reason to stay sober for

When I hear some of you discussing the AL door being still slightly open I feel I by passed that stage and I can more relate to Lav as for me the 6 months marked a huge line in the sand and pretty much slammed the door and locked it. Maybe I reached a lower point before I quit? Certainly the previous 12 months were a living hell with car wrecks, broken bones, depression and anxiety attacks so the relief to be free from that is heaven. Back in Nov 2009 when I made the desicion to quit I went over & over it all in my mind a million times and spent weeks preparing myself and saying farewell to AL.

Dill - I too would still be powerless if I picked up just one drink but im determined never to allow anyone or anything to take my power away from me ever again.

The acceptance that I can never be a "two drinks girl" and leave it was probably the biggest shift as before I could lie to myself and think next time it would be different. I can honestly say right now that I never want just two drinks, its not enough for me, never was and never will be..... Once I truely accepted that is how I am there was no alternative.
Wayne Dyer describes addiction as "never getting enough of what you dont want". I believe when some of us 1st start drinking we love that feeling it gives us more than normal drinkers and its actually an addiction to that pleasure rather than the substance. Then we spend our whole lives looking for that high again without even knowing it.

Yes without AL we cant numb our pain when things go wrong but I think Im ready to experience the pain as well as the joy of natural highs. Its raw and its real but I believe its what being human is about.

Sending you all much love from hot and humid Portugal :l

[Lavande]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Good morning July Jammers,

What will we be in August????? Time to get the votes in.....

Cyn, your trip must have been wonderful, riding sounds terrific. I will be happy to give you pointers when it's time to settle down with a handful of chicks

Rebirth, great picture of you & your son! Just think of how healthy & strong you will be when he returns! Living the sober life is the best thing for both of you - stay strong!

Rustop, I am profoundly jealous to hear of your trip to France next week! Can I go with you???

Greetings Rusty & Red, hope you have a great day.

Dill, that's so nice that you have a longtime friend available for you. That is something I really miss & kind of angry about right now. It's 7 years this week since we moved here & I miss my old friends, really haven't made any new ones (hard to do so at this age). Mr Lav was supposed to fill in the empty friend slot but that didn't happen. Don't forget that we are 'virtual sisters'.

I have a little work waiting then an afternoon of removing cookie crumbs, apple juices spills & a ton of golden retriever hair from my house

Wishing everyone a super Humpday - where's Sooty???
Lav

[Lavande]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Hi chill!
Cross post

[Rusty]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Hi Lav,

Yes, I agree...friends are harder to make as we get older, because we have no history with new people we meet.

[sooty]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Hello jammers, I'm here - I was away visiting family and got back this afternoon!
Had a lovely time - did a bit of sight seeing in my home town and saw my relations, had a lovely family meal last night, it was good to catch up with them all.

Lovely to see all the posts on here, sorry can't stop got so much to catch up on - hopefully get back to normal tomorrow loads of love to all of you
Sooty

[Lavande]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Sooty our bus driver is back :yay:

Rusty - I've come to realize that it was much easier to make friends as a young(er) person! When the kids were young there was always opportunities to get out & meet people. I made some good friends over the span of my nursing career & have them to this day. The problem now is my location! We moved to the 'boondocks' 7 years ago to build our 'retirement' home. Although neither one of us is fully retired yet - we just wanted to be in a quieter place. It took some getting used to but I do really like it here. We spent our lives in a suburb of Philly. It was hectic, crowded, noisey & becoming very city-like. Where I am now is the complete opposite. My neighbors are mostly 4 legged :H There is really very little interaction with people around these parts. I've been depending pretty heavily on my son & daughter for some meaningful social interaction since my a$$hole husband went into hiding. They don't know what to think of him either

I'm only seeing peeks of sun today so it doesn't feel oppresively hot for a change - nice

[Chillgirl]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Hi Lav - Im increasingly prefering the company of the 4 legged variety these days!

[sooty]

July Jamboree ~ Week 4

Hi all and Lav thanks for the welcome back - the bus is storming ahead and is in the direction of malta - i believe the temperature there is very pleasant and the island is very tranquil.
I've had a busy day catching up after my couple of days away - am shattered now so off to bed early
see you all tomorrow
love sooty