Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Mary,

I am so happy for your girl and your family. :l:l

Love,
Cindi

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

.
I am just LOVING this weeks posts. Good morning everyone!

mary - FANTASTIC news about Patty! I am so happy for you! You inspired me so much that you are going through this ordeal sober. Really really happy for you. x

MG29- I was just nodding my head all the way through your post because like dancelot and DG, THAT was ME two months ago. Drink came before my son, my family, my job. My life evolved around my drink.My wine glasses are gathering dust!.HAVNT WE COME FAR!!!! YAHOOOOOO!

Cherbear - I have never been to a step meeting...I wonder if I should go to one. Are they better than the usual meetings? Do you just go through the steps more indepth? Hope you were okay with your free time last night? I keep myself very busy when I have too much free time. I also eat alot of chocolate to keep my cravings at bay ( it's delicious but not a good thing).
I am also not as emotional as I use to be. I also have less panic attacks since not drinking. The only issues I have is my partner drinking in front of me..but we are working on that one.

Dancelot - I also have alot of work to do in regards to accepting and understanding what it really means. Its definitely the secret to a happy fulfilled life....

I feel great today! have a lovely AF tuesday everyone and thanks for your lovely posts. They help me stay sober. xxxx I wish I could type faster!!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

In case anyone is wondering: Step meetings do really explain the steps in more depth. At the one I go to, we read the step of the week first, then we have sharing on that step. Sometimes newer people even share about the concept of that particular step (char. defects, surrender, etc.). Mostly, however, people who have done the steps share their experience, strength, & hope around the step. It really clarified the steps for me. Also, step meetings make me realize just how important working the steps is for real recovery. If you are new, there are usually a few more experienced members who might act as sponsors to help you through the steps. I actually had a sponsor before going to my first step meeting. But, as I was working the steps, it was helpful to me to read about them & hear about them.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

DG, yes I made it to the Mustard Seed Sunday afternoon for a 4 pm meeting. It was quite an experience. Last night I went to a meeting at the Hazleden house. It was a "men's accountability meeting". I've never heard of such a thing.
This first year of sobriety has been quite a trip for me, death of two family members, AA Convention meeting with 50,000 people, getting to hug DG, and now interesting meetings in Chicago.
Btw, it is great to be on vacation and not CONSTANTLY thinking about how I'm going to work drinking into the day.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Mary, that is wonderful news - I am so happy for you and your daughter! :l :h

Cherbear - I had a similar comment about me being calmer or nicer or something when I'd been AF for some amount of time. Between that and learning and practicing some AA principles, I'd say overall I am a lot more pleasant (understatement ). If AF is the cake, AA is the icing!

I went back and reread the Key to Serenity link again just now, and see another paragraph that gives me another perspective.

"I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse."

Well, I pouted - a lot! If I could find someone to listen, I'd go on an hour(s) long bitch fest - though even I realized that gets old (to listen to). And I too self righteously "sipped" my wine, which I so deserved since my boyfriend, boss, client, guy driving down the freeway, or whoever was so whatever to me. Why was I so surprised when I screwed up so many aspects of my life over and over? And who was the common denominator here? Me of course! The good thing is, as I write this, I see it as more funny than sad, which is how it felt at the time. I can see it objectively. At this moment I can even think of it not as time wasted (I can't undo the past), but as a lesson that, for whatever reason maybe needed to be that long. I can't make that time shorter, or have it back, but I can use it as a motivator for how I live in the future. Every step of progress counts as a step in the right direction. Sometimes there's big steps, sometimes small, but every one that goes forward counts for a lot!

One thing I really love is how these stories have a way of revealing different things at different points on the journey. I guess that's why long term AAers say they get something different whenever they redo the steps.

I'll add to anyone reading this thread who is not in AA - read these things, think about them, jump in here and discuss them, or question them - often I learn the most from the ones I feel challenged by. "Spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection" - another saying I need to keep in the forefront - remember we are all works in progress, not perfect, but we keep working it, bit by bit. That's really what goes on in a meeting - everyone has a slightly different perspective, and something to contribute, no matter what stage they're at. This thread is like our own AA meeting. It's a wonderful addition to the old toolbox!

Hope everyone has a great day! :h

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Good morning everyone!

phew.. day off for me today hooray! had to work all weekend. went to yoga , now just catching up.
Rebirth: as Mary said the step meeting is reading the steps out loud and then just sharing what they mean to you. we had a variety of people in the group of various sober levels and I got a lot out of what the ones that had been sober a long time said re: how their lives were unmanageable etc. We especially focused on low vs high bottom. Because the big book was written at a time when their big focus was on the really low bottom alcoholic and then the step book was written apparently about 15 years later when people started coming in that were not at the really , really low bottom. So I could relate a lot better. It is a great variety to the regular meetings. I also go to a big book meeting that reads through the big book .

I agree that this thread is an incredible addition for anyone.. hopefully people that haven't been to AA can have an open mind and just read our stuff for what its worth too.
Dance: you have a birthday coming up it looks like!!! Am I right? Aug. 9th

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1



One of my quilt creations. "drummer boy"

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Just got back from a speaker meeting. In my area, speaker meetings are a way for people to tell:
-how it used to be.
-what happened.
-how it is now.

There is always a common thread & something to identify with...even when you don't think you will.

Mary

[papmom3]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

cherbear-is that quilt for sale???? I'm serious! I have no idea what handmade quilts go for but I want this one for my nephew who is the drummer for his band-Second Class Citizens-and is going off to college in August. PM me if you want.
:l Pam

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Sorry Pam
but this quilt was given away to a budding new drummer.some time ago. I had great fun making it though. I'm a very non traditional quilter.

Cher

[papmom3]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Oh too bad!! It would have been perfect for him!! I wish I knew how to quilt. I've looked into classes but can't afford them and do agility too. Not that I really know how to sew!! Well, hope we get to see more of your work-you are fabulous!!
:l

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Love the quilt Cherbear! I love the image in the center - that is untraditional!

Yes, I do have a birthday coming up in less than 2 weeks now. I wouldn't have thought it possible a year ago, but ODAT really works - or one hour or minute at a time. Just had to make sure I did it no matter what and keep that same commitment even today. But it's a thousand times easier now for the most part.

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

Cherbear that is beautiful!! How did you learn the art of quilting? Really impressed!

Dancelot - you will be celebrating a whole year soon.Thats astounding..I am intrigued to know how you feel towards alcohol now? Do you still get the odd cravings? have you totally changed your lifestyle? Have you changed your think patterns?

Hi mary and p3

[bear73]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

"I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse."


Wow - this is made for me!

Touches on some of the stuff that I am working on in coaching.
I struggled with alcohol and cigarettes (and still am it's early days here!) because I refused to admit I couldn't control it. Kept on doing the same thing and wondering why this time it wasn't different - wishing my way through!

I tried to change my rude colleagues' behaviour - rather than just saying it's not acceptable to me. I try to pacify my job share all the time/change our relationship/gain her approval.All I can do is vocalise how I feel and what I will /won't tolerate.

I tried to 'out manoevre' the person causing strife in my sport team (or rather that I am allowing someone else's behaviour to cause me strife)
Rather than accept she's who she is/has her own issues/can't be changed/it's not about me.
Rather than accept sometimes people aren't 'nice' or 'fair'.

I wasted tonnes of energy and worry trying to seem perfect and nicer than nice in my team so that she can't justifiably criticise me. Point is she will do exactly what she wants and however I behave she will still criticise me to others - fairly or unfairly. What a waste of energy - stressing about something/someone I can't change rather than trying to build relationships with a really nice group/improve my skating 100%.

It's a real waste of energy fighting against the unchangeable BUT I think my lesson is that all of these situations are situations where I have needed to assert myself more - that's my lesson.

I don't think acceptance is the same as tolerating behaviour that is unacceptable to you.
I see it as accept it is how it is - BUT change your response - don't whine and complain and get angry about fairness/unfairness (in my case) - focus on more positive actions.
Does anyone else see anything else in this?

Mary so so pleased for your daughter,you and your whole family - that is amazingly great news!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 26 - Aug. 1

My husband & I have a day off from care-giving today. We're headed up to Bill W's house in southern Vermont. I've heard it's a very spiritual place & very much worth the trip. I'll let you know! Mary