AF August - Week 1

[Lavande]

AF August - Week 1

Thank you Rusty - I appreciate your kind words
It's true, I've had a hard time filling in what used to be 'couple time'. But, I am reading a lot more now, moving from one small house/garden project to another, etc. Goodness, I cleanned out the chicken coop so thoroughly a couple of days ago the hens were in shock!!
I am trying to keep my focus on the good things I have today & think ahead a little to the good things already on the way like my daughter's baby. I am blessed

[dill]

AF August - Week 1

Greetings papmom, paguy, patrice, guitarisat, rusty, lav, star and chill. Special thanks to you for starting us off, Chill. There's a lot of positive energy here and I believe it will lead us all to success this August.

LBH, I could really relate to your story of going to dinner at the home of the lightest of all drinkers! You must have felt a great deal of satisfaction upon reflection.

Red, I've finished Shell Seekers and I really enjoyed it. I should have read it years ago when it first came out, but it is timeless and a good read. It caused me to reflect on the meaning of love and life and what's important in relationships. I have just begun the Guernsy Literary and Potato Peel Society.

Last August I didn't have a great deal of success staying AF. Some of you may remember it was a bad time for me with my brother dying and the travelling back and forth to be with him in South Carolina. I have high hopes for August 2010. Peace and strength to all.

[momof3]

AF August - Week 1

Pssst....


Chillgirl is 7 months AF today!! Woo Hoo!!

[ladybirdheart]

AF August - Week 1

Good for us here in August. I too remember last year, Dill, as I was just getting to know you and I am so glad that I have. It was my first month on the thread. I had tried two others which had been started a bit impulsively perhaps by individuals after a bout of heavy drinking who then never came back, the threads dying on the vine within two or three days. I waited until I found one that had people who persevered through success and setback and here we are. Last August was my first month AF. I feel good about this month a year later but also humbled. I have never had a full sense of commitment and resolve but neither have I wanted to moderate. I have been in that ambiguous place with alcohol that we have spoken of lately with regard to some of our human relationships, that peripheral one, not with nor without another person, and I know that is what is causing much of my feelings of background anxiety. I am focusing now on something Lav said about a turning point for her being further down the line than I have been at a month or two at a time. So while I am in for August, I am also making myself wrap my mind and heart around the Big Picture; I don?t want to still be flitting around the edges in another year. Don?t worry about ?drama? Redstar, remember my mother. I very much look forward to learning about who your son is becoming and your relationship with him through your eyes. Thank you for your kind words, Rusty, and we all know what I am likely to fill most of my glass with, empty or not. I too drank when lonely for someone or something (which as it seems was every day). You shine Chill, seven months! There is nothing about that other than the splendid. Welcome to everybody new; it will be good to learn about your lives and observations. Drive on Soots. Love, Ladybird.

[dill]

AF August - Week 1

LBH, that resolve is an elusive thing, but you are probably right about the lack of it keeping you in a state of "background anxiety". I know this is true for me. Lead the way and I shall try to follow.

Chill: CONGRATULATIONS!

[Lavande]

AF August - Week 1

My daughter & SIL stopped in just as I was taking the bagels out of the oven - they were extra good today
My recipe makes 8 - I topped 2 with sesame seeds, 2 with poppy seeds & 4 with onion - YUM!!!!
We each ate 1, they took 2 home for later leaving me with 3 bagels for my personal consumption!

It was a successful afternoon in my opinion

[Chillgirl]

AF August - Week 1

Good Morning Gang!

I hope Patrice, Time to Change, Paguy & Papmom join us on a regular basis, the more the merrier

Papmom - Well done for going into "chat" the other night when you were struggling, I did the same in the early days and what a wonderful bunch of people were there giving me encourangement.

Star - How will having your son around sit with you not drinking? Does he know you try to abstain? It would be fantastic if you can focus on an AF August regardless of what is going on around you and take pride in handling everything with a sober head.

When i hear some of you talk about being unable to fully close the door on AL (LBH & Dill) I feel you make life harder for yourselves than necessary. When the line is drawn I think there is a huge sense of relief that its over and i feel you are missing out on the peace this brings. I hope August brings you this clarity and maybe we could have a ceramony at the end of the month when we bring down that drawbridge and bolt the door so tight that AL never gets back in....

Lav - I adore onion bagels! Its very hard to get bagels over here as its not a Portuguese thing, sometimes my supermarket stocks imported ones in the freezer but they havent had them for ages. for me they sybolize Sunday Mornings with my cup of coffee...

I had quite a blow this morning, my estranged husband who supports me through monthly maintenance called this morning to say he was having to half my payments as investments he has made have gone belly up. I kind of suspected this would come but it still hit me hard. I will no longer have enough to cover the bills let alone live. I felt the world just collapsed on top of me and wanted to burst into tears. However, I havent done all this inner work to cave in at the 1st sign of trouble. I need to practise the wisdom I preach and see that in this challenge there is a gift, a silver lining! Its hard as work is almost impossible here, I dont speak the language and the ecomony has just collapsed. My lovely little cottage here is owned by my ex and has been remortgaged so there is no equity I can salvage by selling it. I am determined not to wallow in self pity, im strong and healthy and I wont starve. And for sure I will not drink.......

[spuddleduck]

AF August - Week 1

AF august for me. we are all gonna storm through it

[Stargazerlily]

AF August - Week 1

Thanks for all your kind words.

Chill, congrats on 7 months AF. I don't know what to say about the financial stuff. When the economy collapsed in 2008, my husband lost his job and it was all on me. It was tough, and continues to be so. Has it been a long time since you worked? I just think of what a blessing it is that you are AF, can think clearly and plan. I know that with my son coming home, drinking would make everything worse, it would be a nightmare. No, he hates when I drink excessively, so I will get support from him if I tell him I am AF.

Dill, Shell Seekers is about what is important in life. The main character knew instinctively what she needed. To be true to herself, enjoy her life and serve others. But it was the way it was presented. I loved the love story part of it too, and how her daughter found out about it in the end. She wrote several other books that I love too, they are good reading. Dill, I did not realize that last August your brother was dying and you were having such a difficult time. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I am committing to an AF August. I am so anxious right now and have to do everything in my power to just maintain. Alcohol will bring me down, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I liked what Chill said about drawing the line in the sand.

I had a wonderful time with my Dad and stepmother yesterday. It is good to associate with older people who have been through alot, they have much wisdom. I have to get ready for work, so will check in tomorrow. Everyone, have a great day, AF.

[papmom3]

AF August - Week 1

Chill-big cyber hugs coming your way to help you through this very challenging time. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and because of your strength and belief in yourself, you will come out the other side stronger than ever. You might not remain where you are and it will be sad, but you will end up in an even better place.

:l:l
:l:l

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 1

Good Morning August AF Journeyers,

Patrice, Time to Change, Paguy & Papmom, I hope you're on board with us today. It's great to have more people...adds more wisdom and strength to our group here.

Chill, I am amazed at your strong attitude. Good for you that you aren't even considering drowning your fears in booze. I know I did for a few years.

I've never asked....are you an American living in Portugal so that is why you don't speak the language and do you have children? Is moving an option for you?

[dill]

AF August - Week 1

Hi Spud! It’s been awhile since you’ve posted here and I have missed your sunny outlook. So good to see you.

Chill, you are right about the commitment issue, I have no doubt. To come to the place of total surrender or resolve, however you choose to see it, is a gift. It does not come easily to all, and certainly hasn’t for me. I keep working at it. Some say they have to hit their rock bottom before they get it. I don’t know if that’s true. I am one who has come to this decision to be AF before hitting my bottom. Perhaps that is the key. Also, I am sorry about your change in financial status and wish you luck on finding a solution. My husband has been out of work since 2008. I have many friends in the same position: their hb’s have lost their jobs and it is all on their shoulders. The economy is bad here in the States and seems to be bad world-wide as well. Our politicians here don’t appear to be too concerned about the unemployment rate here except when they worry about their own re-election bids. It feels quite hopeless just now. There is talk here in the States about alc consumption being high just now. The suggestion is that it has to do with the high levels of unemployment and all the bad news we get pummeled with in the 24 hour news cycle.

Star, I hear you about the anxiety levels. I am going through that right now, too. I am determined to stay AF. The anxiety will be dealt with in other ways. Reading is a good distraction. I can remember when I was a nightly drinker that I had gotten to the point where reading was pointless as I had to re-read the chapters the next day and I wouldn’t remember any of it, even though my bookmark had jumped pages and pages forward. I am enjoying the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. It took some getting used to the style of the story unfolding through letters. I find I struggle with remembering who is who using this format, but I’m getting the hang of it as I learn more about each individual.

Papmom, good to see you here on day 2! And you are so right about Chill.

Rusty, are you off today or working? Home or travelling?

Lav, you have got me thinking about baking bagels and that is probably a bad thing. I have GOT TO cut back on carbs. Still, when the weather turns cooler, I am going to find a bagel recipe and bake some because you have piqued my interest and sense of challenge. I consider myself a fair baker, but I have never baked bages. It would be novel for me.
Peace and strength to all.

[paguy]

AF August - Week 1

Good morning, everyone! Yes, I am on board today and looking forward to a good week. Todat is day 20 AF for me and I am still feeling confident in my resolve.

Chill - I feel very inadequate giving you advice based on all of your insightfulness that I have read on these threads. But, you definitely have the right perspective on your current situation. Look for that silver lining. What's that saying - "When life sends you lemons - make lemonade!"

Stay strong folks and have a wonderful day.

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 1

Hi Paguy,

Great to see you on this thread and congrats on the Day 20 AF!! :=)

Good Morning Dill-I always find your input so valuable. I am working today but at home. It's a beautiful day here and I am going for a run on the lake path and then I have a business meeting at 10:00 a.m. A new opportunity for me.

Will check in later!

[Lavande]

AF August - Week 1

Good morning August friends!

Dark & raining here this morning, oh well!

Chill, I am very sorry to hear about your financial situation. God only know what I will be facing myself in the near future. Suppose that will bond us further. Wish I could send you some yummy onion bagels to make you smile

Greetings Spud, how are you?

Greetings Red, Papmom & Rusty! Hope your Monday goes well for you.

Dill - carbs be damned! I'm going to allow myself a little comfort food right now. Afterall, I'm only human - drinking & smoking are no longer options for me

Hi paguy! Where are you located in PA? I'm sitting right on the border with MD!

The economy sucks all over the world & especially right here in my embroidery shop. I've lost all of my bigger customers over the past few years. I always counted on them placing big orders for their companies twice/year. I certainly am not making enough money these days to keep myself afloat. Like Chill, I am going to trust that my personal situation is a gift & I will be OK. I am truly grateful for everything I have & for all of my friends here!

Make it a good AF Monday.
Lav