AF August - Week 1

[Chillgirl]

AF August - Week 1

Thank you Guys for all your words of support! I took myself off for a long walk and feel a whole lot better.

Rusty Im 45 and British, have lived in Portugal for 9 years and have no children. I have no qualifications or recent work experience. When I met my husband at 24 he had a high powered job and I travelled with him so my job was really making sure everything else in his life ran like clockwork. I had suspected this was coming and earlier this year tried to relocate back to the Uk to give me some job options but then found my ex was having financial difficulties with what was our joint investments and my house has been remortgaged so it wasnt possible to sell it because the market has collapsed. So im pretty much stuck here for now.....

However, Im seeing it as a challenge sent to teach me a better understanding of hardship and self sufficency and its up to me to see the benefits this gives and the growth I will experience. (she said through gritted teeth :H) The whole world is experiencing this at the moment as so many of you have pointed out, why should I be excluded! It will all be ok in the end, if its not ok.... its not the end

Paguy - I bet our Lav has a great recipe for lemonade! After all this bagel talk I went to the store today and hey presto they had cinnamon and raisin ones which are now in my freezer, I think the Universe sent me them today to soften the blow!

Star - im so glad you enjoyed your time with your Dad & Stepmon, I loved my recent time with my parents, I just wanted to freeze it. Its great that your son will support you being AF, I think him being around is going to be a bigger blessing than you think.

Dill - I can so relate to the reading! when I was drinking it would take me a year to read a book, always having to go back a few chapters to remember the plot, I too read so much more now, its a joy!

[papmom3]

AF August - Week 1

Hey Chill,
I'm reading a book right now that you might find interesting: Unlock the Hidden Job Market by Duncan Mathison and Martha L. Finney. It's an easy read and perfect for someone unemployed right now. It's brand new but I was able to get it from my library. Your description of what you did for your ex made one word jump out at me: Executive Assistant. You'd be perfect and I think this book will help you translate all you did into a very functional resume. On the house issue-is there anyway you can rent it out so you can relocate back to Britain?

Just some thoughts floating through my mind as I procrastinate on my own work.
:l

[Chillgirl]

AF August - Week 1

Papmom - Thank you so much for thinking of me, I will check out the book. Renting out the house is a definate possibility to get me over to the Uk although I think the job market there is pretty bad right now. I have had a few ideas this afternoon and will keep you all posted.

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 1

Papmon,

Excellent idea about the book and the possibility that Chill could be an executive assistant with all the organizing, event planning and travel arrangements she has made for her ex-husband. Renting out the house is also another splendid idea.

Chill-I have about 50 clients-all of them in manufacturing, and I see the market bouncing back, even in the UK, as I have a couple of clients there. Companies are always looking for people who are reliable, show up on time and have a great work ethic, which I am sure you do. I used to be in Human Resources and all I really cared about when hiring people, even if they didn't have the skills needed, is if they had a good attitude and good attendance, I would train them! There are more jobs out there than you think.

You have some very strong suits: You are AF, have a wonderful personality and want to learn.

Besides, I think you are fabulous and my opinion counts for a lot!!!!!

[ladybirdheart]

AF August - Week 1

That sort of thing certainly does rattle one?s cage, Chill. You obviously have everyone's deep support and encouragement. I think the ability to be self supporting and live happily within one?s means is one of the most liberating things in the world; the ability to work is right up there with the ability to love. I look forward to seeing how you solve this. I took some pictures this morning of lilies from my garden and the pond to show a remarkable recovery after the hail. I like to remind myself that recovery is possible. Like Dill and Redstar, I did not have any dramatic losses with my drinking that marked a turning point although my life was certainly restricted in depth and breadth by it so perhaps I did not have as much to lose as I might have. Last night I also put myself back into the dreaded public drink tracker. I think it makes things a bit more real every day and adds another deterrent. To our goals! Love, Ladybird.

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 1

Ladybird,

I think your analogy between recovery from AL and your lilies recovering from that horrible hail storm is excellent. The pictures are lovely and I find them very soothing!

Chill-like you, I am a woman of faith and I pray that you find the strength and the tools to help get you where you need to be and to maintain your AF-ness and sense of peace. We all love you and are pulling for you. :l

Hi to Lav, Dill, Sped (come out, come out, Shelley), Rustop, Sooty the bus driver, and all my friends, have a wonderful AF day! Geez....so nice NOT to be hungover on a Monday!

xoxox

Rusty

[Chillgirl]

AF August - Week 1

Rusty you have already boosted my confidence emmensely! Thank you

LBH - Your photos also made me feel good, pink lillies are my fav flowers
I used the drink tracker when i joined this site, its a pity they dont keep the old ones, I went from a regular 12/15 drinks a day to zero.... It was fun to see the 0's notch up finally.

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 1

Chill-12/15 drinks per day to ZERO! That is an incredible achievement. Courageous, kind, and smart. That's how I see you, and other people will, too. If they don't, I'll beat the sh_t out of them because they are obviously stupid!

[Lavande]

AF August - Week 1

Hey Rusty - with my current hostility level being as high as it is I'll be happy to help you beat the crap out of people on Chill's behalf :H

I have to admit that I am tired now due to seriously interrupted sleep last night. I was awakened at 3:15 am by a hot flash fueled by nasty dream about you know who! I prowled around until 5:30 am until I calmed down enough to get a little sleep. I need to get my sage sticks out & smudge more negativity out of here.........what a pain in the butt :upset:

LBH, your pics are beautiful

OK, now where's the lighter???
Wishing everyone a peaceful sleep.

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

AF August - Week 1

Good morning.

Lav, sorry you were up last night. So was I, but listened to a relaxing CD and fell back into a deep sleep. That is a great thing that the MWO program turned me on to, CDs that help you relax. I can understand your anger at this time, ending something always brings up the feelings of grief.

I just keep thinking that with various individuals having challenges, that goodness we are AF. I cannot imagine what the situation would be in all our lives if we were drinking. The emotional struggles would be horrendous and unmanageable.

LBH, loved your pictures. Interesting that you are marking AF days on the drink tracker. Good for you.

Rusty, I loved your idea that Chill has the skills to work as an executive assistant. You are so positive and supportive, and Chill, I know that you will land an interesting job. I was thinking that everything you have done in the last year has been leading up to a new life.

I had a great Monday, and felt really positive after work last night. Hope my Tuesday is just as good. This day will be AF.

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 1

Good Morning August Friends,

Star-It was Papmom's idea that Chill would make a good EA. I just seconded the motion. 2 more votes and we'll have a quorum and we will have made up Chill's mind for her and decided on her career path without her even agreeing to it!!:H You are such a bright light on this thread, Star.

Chill-Are you feeling better today?:l

Lav-hope you slept better last night. I did not. I was having hot flashes and weird dreams all night.

Star-I was reading your post again and thinking about how everyone here has some kind of cross to bear...whether it be a FH, a child, an illness, job, something. It's even more reason for us to be AF so we can handle our worst possible nightmares with a clear head. How can we defend ourselves and fight the battles in life if we're drinking? We can't. We would be rendered helpless. In my case, it's my wonderful mom whom I love more than life itself. We are SO close and she has gone through cancer, and a corneal transplant that failed. She is 83 and getting weaker. She told me she is so ready to go to heaven. When I was drinking at my worst, my sister said to me, "Rusty, I need you to help me with mom, and I can't count on you if you're drinking." I remember how awful that made me feel and I knew she was right.

Hi to Dill, LBH, Sped, Rustop, Sooty, Cyntree, Patrice, Papmom, Paguy, Spuddleduck ...have a terrific AF Tuesday!

xoxox

Rusty

[paguy]

AF August - Week 1

Good morning folks. Here we are at the dawn of another new day and it is day 21 for me.

Rusty - you are so right. We all have our crosses to bear and I, for one, am thankful that I now have a clearer head to tackle and deal with my demons. And, the one added benefit that I am enjoying from being AF is getting a full nights sleep that is restful. Before being AF, I never had a problem falling asleep (duh - I was passed out by the time 9pm rolled around), but I would be wide awake every 2 hours through the night. Now, I am happy to say that I sleep very soundly through the entire night.

Wishing you all a great day!

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 1

Hi Paguy,

I am so glad you are AF! You're going to be hitting the 30 day mark soon. Great that you are sleeping better. Drinking may cause you to sleep initially but like you said, you wake up every 2 hours, or what happened to me was, I would wake up at 2:00 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep-a royal pain on worknights.

Well, off to work I go! Have a great AF day and thanks for checking in with us!

Rusty

[Chillgirl]

AF August - Week 1

Hi Everyone!

Lav - Not sleeping is really crap and leaves you struggling so much the next day. Be extra good to yourself today and try not to over think, when your tired its easier to only see the negative. A tip I heard the other day (which might sound a bit too simple) was that when our minds keep focusing on a problem we have, try thinking about it using no words, its impossible to give it any airtime and I have found its a great way to make yourself drop it.

Star - You know your comments are bang on, I was just thanking God this morning for allowing me the time to get sober and get myself together before giving me this to deal with.

Rusty - Im so happy you are sober for your Mum, how wonderful you did it when you did, now you will always have had this time with her when you are fully present.

I appreciate mine so much more now im sober, she opened her heart to me yesterday telling me how when me and my sisters were all under 5yr old my Dad's business went bust and they lost everything. She remembers sitting on the floor of this tiny house they had to move to crying and wondering what to do. Then she thought, what do I love? the answer was children so she placed an advert in the newspaper and before she knew it she was hiring a hall and running her own pre-school nursery. (This was in the days before you needed qualifications) How dare I not have courage with a Mother like that......:h

[sooty]

AF August - Week 1

Hello everyone, sorry I've not been around much, daughter arrived back from her backpacking holiday in Thailand yesterday - what a relief! It is so good to have her home.

The weather here is pretty miserable but at least the rain has stopped and I think I might get out this afternoon.

Lav you get those sage sticks to work my friend - hope you got some sleep last night. Think of LHB's lovely pictures and let them help to soothe your anger away. I feel angry on your behalf!

Have a good day everybody, I'll call back later
Sooty