AF August - Week 2

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 2

Hi Lav-

I will be praying that the new little Lavandekins are healthy. Yes, I remember your DIL's miscarriage in May. How heartbreaking! My mom felt the same way when my nephew's wife suffered through 2 miscarriages...but now they have a beautiful baby boy (2 weeks old).

Lav-all I can say is that I still pray Mr. Lav has an epiphany and realizes that he is hurting himself and his family terribly! I am afraid, though, that it will take a catastrophic event for him to change. It was my dad's near death experience for him to wake up and realized he had taken his lovely wife and 5 children for granted for 40 plus years.

What wonderful things can we expect on this Friday the 13th?????? You asked, Lav? Well, I was supposed to go to lunch with my SIL, but instead, I will be on a conference call....with my boss in PA (Bradford). I have just been assigned 5 new clients and apparently, they are very high-maintenance, hence my boss and I need to come up with a strategy. My SIL was understanding, though....it turns out she is not coming this way anyway.

Lav-I am very grateful for MANY things today. I was a fruitloop when I was drinking and despite that, my business is going great guns (Chilli-please move to the States and then we can be business partners-I'm swamped here!!!!!) and my family and friends have forgiven me. Whew! That's a lot for me.

And, Ms. Lav-what do you have on the agenda today? A date with your best guy? (The First Senor Lavandekin) or....um....baking a peach cobbler? Then, if that's the case, what time do Dill and I present our bobbleheads? I will bring the Haagen-Dasz (sp?) ice cream.

Back to w-w-w-w-w-ork. More later!

xoxoxoxoxox

RUSTY

[Chillgirl]

AF August - Week 2

Hi Everyone!
I want to thank you all SO much for your kind love and support, when its all black out there this little thread and MWO is like a secret haven to escape to. I used to escape by drowning in a vat of wine and i congratulate myself on replacing this habit with such a positive uplifting backup system which is all of you wonderful people! :hug:

All your thoughtful words have been a huge comfort and I really have felt the positive vibes you are sending. Grief has many forms which we have all experienced and I know Lav is going through this too. When a major relationship ends there is always grieving to be done although I really should be over it after 6 years! :H Now Im grieving for a life I once had too. Maybe now my sobriety will move me through this more quickly?

I went to AA today, because I felt angry. Not only have I to deal with all this crap but I also have to handle my thoughts about why I must not drink! It was good to get that off my chest. My phone has not stopped ringing and I have been overwhelmed by the support I am also getting from friends and family. I may not be rich in cash but Im sure rich in love and I know this is what will get me through.

Star - When is your daughters wedding? Im sure you have time to shed a few pounds so you feel good, the good thing about the heat we are experiencing is that you dont have to do much to burn calories.

Rusty - Im glad your are swamped with work, I may just take you up on that offer one day

Thank you all again for such great support, you guys are the best!

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 2

Chilli-any time....just come to the US. Or I will come to Portugal. And you can count on that.

I am so proud of you.

Sending love, warmth and friendship your way,

Rusty

[Lavande]

AF August - Week 2

Rusty,

I'll tell you what I'm doing right this minute. Would you believe I'm stitching Bullwinkle the Moose baseball caps? :H:H
Honestly, people (of a certain age) really like them

Chill, it might not be a bad idea to think of relocating here in the States......why not? Except that would place you a bit far from your family in the UK. Hmmm, have you ever considered living in a rural farm area in southeastern PA :H You can help me take care of my chickens

OK, back to work for me as well.

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 2

Lav-

Hey Missy! I happen to like Bullwinkle the Moose! It was one of my favorite cartoons! Gosh, Lav, I wish you would send us pictures of your embroidery work. I tried knitting, crocheting....EVERYTHING! And I will tell you now, I am a completely loser at all of it.

[ladybirdheart]

AF August - Week 2

Had a fine morning here. After some early gardening of my own, I played hooky from my exercise class in order to walk alone through the local Botanic Garden before the sun got high. I had not been in two months (I normally went every week or so) as I was unsure if my injured ankle could manage it (it did just fine), and it was like being hit smack over the head with the Abundance of Summer. It was an astounding shock of SUMMER, dazzling, glorious. Most of the time and barring the acute effects of natural disasters, I deeply love it here (on the earth). I look forward to see where in the world you land Chill as you are kind and beautiful and funny and smart. Speaking of cool people, Redstar, I appreciated and admired how you snapped yourself around following your painful return; I do think that barring being sadly afflicted with a severe mental disorder or a naturally sour character, it is possible to choose how we conceptualize and feel about most things over time. I bet you are beautiful, far more lovely and intriguing in appearance than mean spirited women of a certain thinness. The image of you making Bullwinkle hats is priceless, Lav, chickens scratching around the door and grandchildren forming. I am not surprised that your business is a success, Rusty, you have the nature for working collaboratively with whatever personality presents itself, you can be respectful and flexible and then later celebrate, laugh, or cringe about it. You and Chill could probably stop a war in its tracks if you combined forces. Have a lovely drive, Shelley, no hurries, lots of stops and quirky moments. Hi, Sooty, Cyn, Rebirth, Rustop, et. al. Enjoy every last minute of your vacation, Dill, you will very likely love retirement but those last years of working with their structured ebbs and flows (and torrents) were different (better, more emotionally rich) for me than all those leading up to them. Possibly because I finally sort of knew what I was doing:H. Love, Ladybird.

[dill]

AF August - Week 2

Rusty, Yes, it is back to work for me on the 17th and I am indeed anxious about it. I have decided to adopt an “I’m not going to let it get to me” attitude. Last school year was extremely stressful and I let it get to me. So, I’m working out a plan to stay calm and above it all. I work around a bunch of women, being as I am in education. I realize that I often let their stress vibes get to me and make me become upset even when a situation is not mine or anything in which I can affect a change. Your new “high maintenance” clients may fall into this same category? I mean, that you may need strategies to stay cool, calm and collected.

Red, I finished the Lilac Bus and am on Dublin 4, the second half of the book. I’m really enjoying it. The story of Celia trying to cope with her mother’s descent into alcoholism hit home of course. As for the Upanishads, I read enough to get the gist of it, but have decided to be done. My husband has been doing ok keeping himself occupied, but I have noticed the last few months that it is starting to wear on him. He had some stomach problems recently that I think are a result of stress, as tests didn't show any actual physical problem. He seems more preoccupied and worried and just plain down. I hope he can get busy soon with some of the cool weather projects around here like cutting firewood and preparing for winter. That will make him feel better.

LBH, I understand your comment about finally knowing what I am supposed to be doing, now that I am soon to retire! So glad you are healed up from your fall. One day perhaps you and Sooty will walk together along the Cliffs.

Lav, Chill, hang in there through all your turmoil. You are both strong women and will be made stronger, I'm certain.:h

Still hot here. I have been running outside, exerting myself performing some small gardening task, then running back in to the AC wringing wet with perspiration. Such a baby!

[sooty]

AF August - Week 2

Hello everyone, lovely to see you. Sorry I didn't get on yesterday I was late getting back from choir and just tooooo tired!
We did a new song last night - Straighten up and fly right ...anyone know it? I think its an old Sammy Davis Jnr song - its jazzy and great fun to sing. The words are really weird though, I think whoever wrote it must have been drunk. Its all about a buzzard taking a monkey for a ride .......
I hope Friday has been good for us all, no bad vibes cos its the 13th!
Love sooty

[Lavande]

AF August - Week 2

I'll be back later with Bullwinkle pics..........

For now, here is something from the Daily OM for all the strong women here


August 12, 2010
Strong Woman
Empowering Feminine Energy

A woman’s sense of compassion and inner voice demonstrates the depth of her strength.


So often in our world we tend to think of strength as a quality that arises from a place of firm determination and a will to succeed no matter the cost. Even though we might want to think of a strong woman as being defined in this way, what really makes a woman confident is her capacity for listening to her true self and being able to call upon her feminine wisdom to any situation that may arise. A woman does not need to step into an assertive role or act like a man in order to be effective at what she does—she simply needs to get in touch with her insight and sense of compassion to truly demonstrate the depth of her strength.

Listening to the feminine side of ourselves may not seem easy at first for this type of energy is something that is often overlooked in many aspects of our everyday lives. If we can connect with this part of who we are, however, we will find that there is an unlimited wellspring of strength available to us. Our capacity to tap into our intuition and listen to our inner guides, to take into account the needs of those around us, and to view a situation with compassion and love are ways that we can show the world the true power that is part of our feminine nature. When we learn to integrate this source of strength into our daily tasks and decision-making, we will find that we can be more flexible and open to the things that happen around us and more receptive to new ideas. Not only will we see the world in a different light, but we will truly start to realize the potential for this form of energy to both empower ourselves and those around us.

As we cultivate our feminine energy we can redefine the meaning of strength. By embracing our feminine power as something that is strong in its own right, we are able to use it with true assurance and determination and draw upon what truly belongs to us.

[Chillgirl]

AF August - Week 2

A late check in from me today, I don't know where the day has gone!
I'm so fortunate to have some great friends here, I have spent hours talking to them today. When we speak about close bonds, I have been blessed to meet a group of the most amazing girlfriends here of all nationalities and as we are all ex pats abroad there is a real sense that we are each others family because we all share the commonality that we are away from home. I could never hope to duplicate this elsewhere and it would be a huge part of my life to give up on. For now I'm letting the dust in my mind settle before I decide on my next move.

Rusty and Lav - I had to google bullwinkle the moose and i'm still a bit confused about the caps Lav, do they have antlers?

LBH - your last post was so poetic and you made such a beautiful description of Redstar! I also loved the thought of Rusty and I stopping wars, There is nothing in the world I'd rather do.....

Dill - is there a new hobby Mr D could try? Painting, writing, building models something for him to focus on which might give him a lift?

Sooty - I don't know "straight up and fly right" but a jazzy Sammy Davis Jnr sounds like great fun, are you rehearsing for a particular event?

Lav - a beautiful overview of strong women, in ancient time we were greatly revered for our inner guidance and intuition in male circles. We need to move back to trusting these instincts instead of allowing outside influences to sway our thinking. We know more than we think we do, we just need to get still and quiet enough to hear that intuition

[Stargazerlily]

AF August - Week 2

Great posts ladies.

Well, I found the dress yesterday and I love it. It is knee length, with chiffon ruffles and a cool modern, colorful print. I modeled it for a friend and she said it was perfect. My husband said it looked like me and I am so relieved to have found it so easily. It is not a dress I have to worry about losing weight in so I can be myself and just have a good time. Thanks for the positive post LBH.

Just so you know, I had a good Friday the 13th. It is weird, but I usually do.

Chill, I think that it is so important to ask for support, and you did!! I think so many times we try to "go it alone," and set ourselves up to fail and suffer more needlessly. That is one reason I love MWO and this thread, we do support each other. You are so lucky to have a group of friends that are there for you.

Dill, I am so happy you are enjoying the book, the second part is awesome too. I just loved it. I bet it is really hard to go back to school after being off all summer. I struggle with taking a few days off and going back. My husband was the same way when he was unemployed, putting stress on both of us. I mean, it's not like they chose, but men define themselves so much by their employment and earning power.

Sped, I wish you well on your trip. Unlike you, I hate driving long distances, I am a baby. I will fly any day of the week. But, I have to admit, the scenery is beautiful and the opportunity to see the different parts of our country is a gift. I have to say, I love the US. I have never been to a part of the country that I did not enjoy or be amazed by.

Lavande, thanks for the daily OM message.

Rusty, it is hard to deal with grief, I have needed to talk and cry in the past when a loss happens. It is important to realize what we are going through and be gentle and patient with ourselves and allow our feelings to be there.

Well, I cleaned like a mad woman and my house looks so nice. My son left to visit his sister for the weekend, so I have my space back for a short time. Going out to eat tonight and a relaxing evening after. Have a great AF weekend.

[Lavande]

AF August - Week 2

Good afternoon friends,

So glad you are here for me!

Finally got my answer today - Mr Lav will not consider coming back, is ready to hand me the house & his entire pension, want to 'be friends' & continue to function as the self imposed handyman/yard boy.

I still say he is a chronically depressed person & unable to give or receive real love.
He only relates to dollars & cents.

Guess I have no choice but to get used to this & learn to be grateful for the dollars & cents. Why does this make me so uncomfortble??????????

Peace & love to all of you!

[papmom3]

AF August - Week 2

((((Lav))))

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what you were hoping the answer would be but I'm guessing this isn't it. It sounds like he at least doesn't want you to suffer financially so while you may feel uncomfortable at first, please see it as a gift not many women get when their spouses leave. Just make sure you get it all in writing and for god's sake don't turn it down!! No idea if his pension is a good one or not but at least he has one to give to you.
I'm sure you will need to meditate on this for a few days. Just know we are here to support you and to be the recipients of bounced ideas.

:l:h:l Pam

[sooty]

AF August - Week 2

Lav I'm so sorry that you haven't had the response you would have liked. I hope you manage to feel comfortable with the new arrangements - and perhaps you can be good friends in the future, which is worth a lot.

I'm just logging on to say that I won't be around for a few days, got my ten year old granddaughter staying and she's so busy ...I've done puzzles, made cards, played charades, done word searches .....I'm hoping she'll go to bed soon and I'll be in bed myself cos I'm exhausted.

If I dont get chance to log on before I'll be back on wednesday
Take care everyone
loveSooty

[Rusty]

AF August - Week 2

Lav-so sorry about Mr. Lav's decision not to come home! You must be so sad!:upset: You sound like you're handling the situation philosophically, though. Maybe you feel unconfortable accepting his pension and his offer of being the handyman because you've been pretty forthright about how you feel about him and now you're conflicted? Just a thought. I'll pray that you find strength throughout all of this and you continue to think with a clear, AF mind! :-) You say he is a chronically depressed person & unable to give or receive real love....I dated a guy with the same problem. He was never happy with ANYTHING and never felt joy in his life. I was devastated when he broke up with me but it turned out to be a good move. On a more cheerful note, how did the Bullwinkle caps turn out? I used to date a guy who looks just like him. :H

Lav, can you make Catbert caps....from the Dilbert cartoon? I need one for one of my pain in the butt clients. Would anyone like to change jobs with me? Someone....please tell me YES!!!

Star-the dress sounds beautiful in it and I bet you'll look fabulous in it. No one will think you look fat...they'll think you look smashing. I also agree with your words about wanting to "go it alone." I should have asked for help for my drinking. I was ashamed and I thought, oh, this, too shall pass. SIGH

Chill-I'm glad you have a nice group of lady friends close by. You are fortunate and I know they must value your friendship as well.

Sooty-I wasn't familiar with that SDJ song so I called it up on I-tunes. Wish I could hear you sing.

LBH-a walk through the Botanic Garden? Sounds heavenly....and I'm so glad you have healed. I so enjoy reading your posts-always so positive....good energy and karma for us all to have.

Dill-I'm going to get the Lilac Bus-My mother's 3 sisters (yes, ALL of them) were alcoholics and the hell my cousins went through for 30 plus years. I could probably relate. I feel so badly for your husband, but it's so hard for a man to be unemployed. Hope he feels better soon.

Sped-safe travels back home. A rolling stone is what you are :-)

I have had a wonderful Saturday so far....I took a run along the lake path and then spent a couple of hours swimming at the beach. Now I'm back to work for the business. It never stops when you own your own business, does it, Lav?

Well, I am enjoying my day with my dog...work, play, love, and pray, too!

Happy AF Saturday!

xoxox

Rusty