AF daily - Friday 13th August

[Marshy]

Friday 13th - eek! And I've got train seat number 13 booked tomorrow to go and visit mum and dad for a few days - eek! Just as well I'm not superstitious.

Rant warning
Remember I bought mum a nightdress and dressing gown? I posted them on Monday because I thought she'd get them before I saw her that way. The parcel still hasn't arrived at mum and dad's and I went into the post office this morning to complain. They didn't take me at all seriously until I said I thought it might have been stolen from the post office before it was even collected and if so I will call the police (parcels in that particular post office are just left in post bag in a general public area and anyone can have access to the bag. I thought it didn't look very safe when I left the parcel there - should have gone with my instincts!). Anyway, the head honcho who controls the CCTV camera wasn't there but I made it clear that I wanted him to look at the tape when he returned to see if anyone did walk off with it. Whether or not he will is anyone's guess.

So bloody annoying!
Rant over

Greenie - did you spring FH from jail? I'm beginning to suspect he does these things so he can call you, although I suppose going to jail is a little extreme to get someone's attention...

Lav - I agree with Papmom - give Mr Lav hell after he's cut the grass...

Hello to all to come

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Marshy, thanks for getting us started today. I'm wondering what your weather is like. I think the entire USA is probably beastly hot and humid again today. I know my part of the USA sure is!!! (maybe someone is luckier!) I hope the postal problem gets sorted out. Very frustrating. I hope you have a fabulous visit with your Mom and Dad this weekend and that you all enjoy each and every moment of your time together! (and also hoping that Mom's gown shows up!)

Lav and PAGuy, Mr. Doggy was trying to find a good spot around home to watch the meteor showers. The way our house / deck / roof top bee porch / yard is situated, things mainly face north or west. He was looking for an east view. Me, the morning person, went to bed. Him, the night person, is not up yet to tell me if he saw anything. :H Did the clouds clear for you guys by some chance?

Lav, maybe you could greet Mr. Lav with a big smile as he arrives to mow your grass. Tell him you will be baking him a peach pie while he mows. Then all of us can be waiting in the garage for when he is done. We will all have a bat. You will have the pie. You can do whatever you wish with the pie when he is finished mowing and comes in the garage. We will look at him in a menacing way with the bats. Isn't that what girlfriends are for??? Would we scare the bejeezuz out of him? Is that how you spell "beejeezuz?"

I am loving my morning coffee and my Friday "late start." (first meeting of the day not until 8AM today!)

I was thinking about "venting" as I seem to do far less of it these days. I also seem to be avoiding situations where others are "venting." I guess I think of "venting" as complaining. I was thinking about times when I DO complain, or things I used to do a LOT of complaining about in the past. In my case, complaining is something I mainly do about things that either 1) I have no control over and I have not accepted or 2) things I need to change but have not yet mustered up the courage to do so.

My conclusion? Venting and complaining about other people, places and things is really a reflection of my OWN problem and failure to act appropriately. The more I can incorporate the quidelines outlined in the serenity prayer into my life, the less I will have to complain and "vent" about.

I was thinking about this as I have been invited to participate in a casual get together of women that they are humorously referring to as the "Stitch and Bitch" (craft projects are welcomed! :H)) I haven't really had time to get involved with so much going on this summer, but will think about it for fall. I was just thinking about the "bitch" part and how interested I am in that. (not, which is amazing compared to the "old me.") I AM interested in learning how to stitch something. So I will probably go this fall and see what's up. Hopefully more stitching than bitching. :H I think it would be fun to learn to crochet or something. The friend I went to San Antonio learned to crochet since recovery began and she said she finds it relaxing. Won't know what it does for me unless I try it!

How's that for some random thinking?

One thing is for sure.......there will be NO drinking AL for THIS doggygirl today!

DG

[Rusty]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Hi AF Friends,

A cheery hello from steamy and mosquito-infested Wisconsin.

Doggygirl.. I was thinking about your rescheduling your camping trip.....you can't honestly expect to go camping at Starved Rock in this weather, can you? You'll get eaten alive unless you wear my brand of cologne: Eau De Off Deep Woods! I agree with you-since it's Friday the 13th, we will help Lav out by donning our hockey masks and carrying our axes and pop out of the garage! Or we will start up the chainsaw!

In all honesty, the Serenity Prayer holds a lot of value for me. AA was the only was my aunt got sober after 30 years of drinking with 3 DUIs, 3 rehab stays and 2 life-threatening AL-related accidents under her belt. She had lost faith in her higher power and has found it through AA. A miracle and my family is overjoyed.

Hi to Greenie and Marshy! Marshy-good thing you're not superstitious-I am! :-(

Lav-I agree with Papmom, too. We will only appear in our Jason outfits AFTER he cuts the grass.

Well, Sadomasochist Rusty is now going for a run along the lake path, wearing her new cologne-mosquito repellant! Then, work for a few hours and out to lunch with my sister-in-law.

I am enjoying Gratitude Mode today. My SIL distanced herself from me when I was drinking at my worst (2006-2008). I don't blame her. Now she says she loves being with me again. So we'll do lunch and then she is going to help me pick out slate/tile for my new floor and a paint color for the living room. I didn't think our relationship would ever be the same because of all the times I let her down, but she says she loves me more than ever now (WWWAAAAAHHHHHH!)

Not drinking for this Happy Woman today!

Have a wonderful AF day everyone!!!

xoxoxox

Rusty

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Hey Rusty! I'm sure you meant "no drinking" not "now drinking" right???? You are one brave woman to don your cologne and hit the lake path. I am still in disbelief over the quantity of bites I am itching from picking stuff out of the garden 3 days ago. I couldn't even stomach the thought of going out there in the heat and mosquitos yesterday. So I'm sure some stuff is rotting. I need to brave it today!

That is a wonderful story about your SIL and the changes that become possible in sobriety. In my case, I was a much bigger A-hole than I thought I was during the later drinking years. (and probably during the earlier ones too!) But we CAN move on. The very best amend we can make to our loved ones, IMO, is to live better and do the right things TODAY. If we string enough "TODAYS" together, trust is reborn.

This monovision thing isn't perfect. There are some trade offs. But I must say it is so wonderful to be able to read stuff without the dang glasses that I'm thinking it's worth it. At least to stick a contact in, which is getting slightly easier. I think it only took me 10 tries to get it out last night and maybe 15 tries to get it in this morning. That's progress.

DG

[Gaia]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Hello all,

Rusty I laughed at your typo - Now drinking for this Happy Woman Today! Sort of ironic. Reminds me of many months ago I posted a thread called pouring it out. This was before I went AF. I was counting up AF days with drinking days in between. Most of the time i didn't overdo it, but eventually this system led to disaster and I had to make a deeper commitment. Anyway, some people read "pouring it out" as pouring a drink. They saw it as I was taunting people with drinking problems by publicizing my enjoying a drink. Actually, I had poured a drink, and decided not to drink it so I poured it down the drain. Funny how words and typos can be misunderstood!

Marshy I hope that package gets there and you enjoy your visit. It seems unlikely that someone stole the box - if someone would steal a box they would probably look for something small that looked like jewelry or something heave like electronics. I don't think they would go for a lightweight box. Imagine their disappointment if they did at finding jammies! Hardly an existing secondary market for that!

Yep Lav your crew will be waiting in the garage. Actually I'm having little worried feelings about you because I wonder why you are dependent on Mr. Lav who provides services from time to time but who could be in China emotionally. I send you a hug, Lav. Its baffling actually. Where do you see it going?

Hi DG. Stitch and Bitch, huh. Venting huh. Yeah I sorta know what you mean. Venting can be just a bunch of blah blah and what does that lead to at the end of the day? I too am finding myself less likely to call Mr. T. when something goes wrong during the day to vent about it. Instead, I think "problems only bother me to the extent I let them." Then I think, "OK what is my plan? What am I going to do?" This thinking has helped me TREMENDOUSLY through the past two weeks. It's been much better to make stories about things that happen and how I resolved problems over dinner than have a panic attack during the day.

Speaking of problems, my new ironing board has a bent leg and I already threw away the packing, but I do have the receipt. Hope I can exchange it because what good is an unstable ironing board? Vent vent vent!

That being said, "Venting and complaining about other people, places and things is really a reflection of my OWN problem and failure to act appropriately." True but I think we all agree that talking or writing about a problem can help us to figure out the dynamics and then the course of action. Big difference between blah blah and problem investigation and resolution.

Finally, my thought for the day is that at 3 months I'm worried about relapse. I read that the first stage does not include thoughts of drinking, but is rather an emotional state of anxiety and isolation. Hello? Isn't that called L-I-F-E LIFE from time to time? So if I'm new in town and I'm isolated I'm at risk of relapse? If I have stress I'm in the first stage of relapse? Now that's disheartening! Vent vent vent.

Hello I'm back again. Feeling cheeky I guess. And chatty, obviously.

Love,
T.

[Rusty]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Hi Doggygirl,

OMG! I meant Not Drinking.....glad you caught that!

Yes, you are right....I had to make amends with my SIL and my two closest friends....who I went to the WI State Fair with on Monday. Ugh.....I cringe when I think of the times I was an A-Hole. TOO MANY! I am grateful and humbled by their unconditional love for me!

Contacts-I could never stand the thought of ANYTHING in my eye! What about Lasik surgery (I'm thinking about it, actually)

Well, off I go!

Have a wonderful AF day, and just to reconfirm.....there is NO drinking for Rusty today. She has too many fun things to do! :-)

[Rusty]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Hi Gaia!

Cross-post...that story of "pouring out" is hysterical!. Thank you :-)

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Oh Rusty - I forgot to mention that we are NOT going camping again until this weather eases off! We're thinking about late September or Early October, weather dependent. Actually the contact in my eye is a "try before you buy" for lasik. Although another option is to just stick with the contact rather than the more permanent thing. "monovision" is the only correction option with lasik for me. One eye is for distance and the other for up close. My distance vision doesn't need any correction, so only correcting the other eye for up close. Due to the trade offs, I will probably stick with the contact. It's GOT to get easier! :H

Gaia, I think you are right that discussing a problem in an effort to help sort through and get on to a solution is a good thing. When I used to say to a friend "I just need to vent!" I really wasn't looking for any practical advice or solutions. I was looking for someone to agree with me that the other person place or thing was, indeed, wrong (or an A-Hole or whatever). HUGE difference! Sounds like you are also having some revelations and making progress on this front. Don't you love how much more serene and calm life is when we aren't as caught up in the problems?

DG

[Rusty]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

I agree with both of you, Gaia and Doggygirl:

Drinking for me (when it got bad in 2 years) just added more to my problems. I was more aggravated, more upset, WAY too sensitive to comments I thought were hurtful (they weren't but you know how AL is....robs you of your self-confidence)/

Gaia-I can so understand your anxiety about the 3-month mark. I try to remember Spuddleduck's quote "Today was the tomorrow I had yesterday and it turned out fine." This is so true! I absolutely shudder when I think of all the NEGATIVE scenarios I had played out in my mind (especially when drinking heavily of course) that never amounted to anything. I could just kick myself:lalala: I seemed to set myself up for a bad day or a failure when it never materialized. As my sister says, "Don't borrow trouble." My guess is that you'll be fine and you know what, we are all here to support you.

Venting is good. My therapist told me a long time ago after the deaths of my best friend, and my dad, and my brother, and the break-up of a long-term relationship, that I needed to see a therapist. I didn't. I drowned myself in a bottle of Scotch. I wish I HAD vented. People would have understood and I would have been a lot better off. Just my opinion.

xoxxxoxoxo

Rusty

[Marshy]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Gaia;933503 wrote: Big difference between blah blah and problem investigation and resolution.

Totally agree. I'm in problem investigation stage now. My resolution will be to torch the post office

Hi DG & Rusty!
DG - coolish and wet here. Not mozzie weather fortunately.

[Lavande]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Morning Abbers!!!!

I love the girl power here - thank you for the support, much appreciated
Of course if any of you guys want to join in, please feel free!

Gaia, in answer to you question - the reason I am dependent on Mr Lav to come here & cut grass is because HE is the one who wanted to buy this large lot (2 1/2 acres). I cannot tolerate the heat, or the allergies cutting grass not to mention the large diesel tractor required to do the job. He knew all this when we moved here 7 years ago. He is just being an ass. He's had 4 months to live out his drama, it's high time to change the channel I think

Marshy, hope your package shows up! The post office here loses many of my packages as well, frustrating!

DG, Rusty, Greenie, Papmom & everyone - have a great day!
Friday the 13th means good luk, right?????

Lav

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Hey ho!

Marshy, bummer about the gown; I hope it shows up and quickly. Have a safe trip in seat #13!

DG, I found with the monovision, that there a space about a foot or 2 out that is just an unfocusable area. I do not recommend playing catch or frisbee.

Thoughts on venting... I think it helps you to rant on about something if you're using it as a means to really feel the ick and validate it, etc and then let it go. It's the let it go part that is the tricky area. I sure do like the stitch and bitch thing - catchy little phrase, isn't it? But I REALLY liked the point gaia made.

Rusty, love the SIL story. Sweet redemption.

Gaia, you know your risk better than anyone else. You've got eyes wide open and a solid foundation. Hard to go wrong with that, and it's good that you always pay attention. Whatever you read makes me think of pharma commercials that make us think we might be at risk for something so we better pill up! Scoff, snort, rant, vent.... :H

Lav, so are you expecting a conversation along with the mowing? He may not be ABLE to converse (you could always have a nonversation :H). By that I mean truly unable to express himself and not intentionally doing the silent, cold shoulder thing. I will help beat it out of him though if you want.

Jail was uneventful. I just provided transportation from the jail to the car. I could do some serious laughing here, but I feel it needs a grace period.

Tonight some friends are playing a gig outside at a resto/bar at the lake. I can't make myself sit outside at 6 on a hot day like this, so I think I'll pass.

Tomorrow I'm going to a pot luck pool party. So I was invited and told to bring "something". So after my first four suggestions were nixed, I finally landed on one that was acceptable. Crikey! Pot luck means what??? I plan to go early / leave early more because of the heat than the drinkers.

Well, must tend to some work now. I could really go for a nap though.

One thing is for sure..................

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Marshy;933540 wrote: Not mozzie weather fortunately.

I'm excited to learn a new Brittish English Word!!! What's mozzie weather???

Lav, BOY can I relate to your situation with the property. The place where we live was chosen by Mr. Doggy. I love it here, but would never ever ever in a trillion years want to attempt taking care of it myself. (Mr. D is very well aware!) If he ever left me here (by choice that is!) I would have a very very very difficult time with acceptance. He would definitely have to provide lawn care services until we could sell the place! If he leaves not by choice before I do, there is insurance coverage for that.

Greenie the pool sounds inviting. Not so much the "food" in this heat - just the pool. Is it one of those pool parties where people actual swim? Or one where you dress up and the pool is just background beauty? One of the women at the AA meeting I went to this morning invited all who wished to come to her house to swim. (actually getting in the water! :H) I think next week if I go I'm going to bring a suit just in case.

The decorator just arrived so now we will review the final proposal and probably be writing one of those checks that make me gulp.

DG

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

mozzie is mosquito.

People actually swim. I think. I am anyway with temp around 100. I remember the mozzies at their house being a bit voracious, so best be IN the water.

At least you'll have something new to show for your check. Mine just brought the house up to speed so to speak. Oh, the plumber surfaced. He'll be back around the beginning of the week.

[Lavande]

AF daily - Friday 13th August

Don't think I haven't thought about the life insurance thing DG :H

All kidding aside - if he had suddenly dropped dead in April instead of chosing to walk away at least I would know where I stand. I would have hired a lawn service months ago with that insurance $$

I am suffering quite a few anxiety related problems (physically & emotionally). They are beginning (despite by best efforts) to spill out in the presence of my kids & others. That's why I am so damn mad this week.
Anyone with a baseball bat is welcome to join me tomorrow in finally getting to the bottom of all this