how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

[bear73]

I've just lost this long post!!

I am terrified by the idea of never drinking again

I bounce about between af/mod because of this
I plan
I fail
I realise that alcohol has always been part of socialising for me, coincided with when my social circle widened as a teen - so without it will i go back to being mousy teenager?

i feel so much better af - mentally and physically

I feel smoking/drinking/bad food are all interrrelated for me - yet I faff about trying to tackle 1/or should i tackle all. all is a lot - but this week demonstartes - do one - the others follow.

I haven't hot rock bottom so haven't had bad health/job loss/relationship breakdown - yet for which i am grateful - but the deterrent isn't there of that/can't identify with soem of aa lit because of that.

yet alcohol stops me being the best i can be - mentally and physically and enjoying life

I am really really scared of the idea of never being able to drink again/failing yet again and trying to be af again/the cycle continues

how did you deal with this without it seeming like such an insurmountable and scary task?

[Rusty]

how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

Hi Bear,

I am VERY new to sobriety.....several weeks only....but I SO know what you are talking about. I felt the very same way you did. My doctor told me, "don't think about in the sense that you can NEVER drink ever again, just take it one day at a time. " I know that seems contrary. To think of NOT drinking EVER again was too overwhelming for me, and then all I wanted to do was drink more. So, I just would plan one day at a time....I would write down everything I wanted to accomplish in a day, and none of it included AL. Accomplish also means FUN things....activiites I couldn't do if I were drinking. This helps a lot....and I felt better about myself in the morning.

I have never smoked, but all my family did and boy, do I know about how drinking and smoking go hand in hand. The AL also stimulates your appetite....or if you are like me, I would have to have carbs (takeaway, absolutely) in the morning to help me recover from horrible hangovers. If you don't do one....you might not do the others.

We are all here to help you. Everyone has listened to me whine, cry...hungover and sober, and they are awesome.

You have had AF days under your belt so you know what it takes and we're all here to support you!

[patrice]

how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

hiya bear
you are very much like me.. one all or nothing, I am trying to do the AF, NF thing too.. don't have any probelms with the 'healthy food' cos have been doing that for years.. but Al and cigs as well.
I think like Rusty says... one day at a time.. I also find that planning just for a day makes a huge difference.. writing it down also is huge for me.. not a diary as such but things I want to get done through the day... and then anal stuff like ticking it off once it has been done.. wow helps so much and I am not a list maker... but have found that whatever helps helps...
Take care
Patrice

[mario]

how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

Bear I think most of us at the start of this journey,even though a lot of us hit our rock bottom,thought or even hoped we could drink normal some day again.As it is a very daunting thought to say never again, If you are really serious about being abstinent you have to put your sobriety above everything else,as this grows your friends and pastimes will change and for the better,its not easy and it is frightening at the start,But bear you have to give yourself time as in 3/6 months to give yourself a chance to make up your mind what you really want.if drinking is effecting you or your family/partners etc you no you need to do something now,

[paguy]

how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

bear73;934822 wrote:
i feel so much better af - mentally and physically

bear73;934822 wrote:
yet alcohol stops me being the best i can be - mentally and physically and enjoying life

Bear - In the grand scheme of things, I am new to being AF and alot of what you expressed really resonated with me. The only advice I can offer is to have you focus on 2 of your admissions - you know that you feel better when you are AF and you acknowledge that AL is stopping you from being the best you can be.

So, ask yourself how much do you REALLY want to be ALL THAT YOU CAN BE and once you answer that question, know that you ARE strong and confident enough to make it happen. IMO, this battle takes a 100% commitment.

Can you think of something you accomplished in the past that you thought you would never accomplish? If so, think about how you went about your achievement and try to apply the same principles to your plan. Focus, strength and commitment.

We are all here to help one another along the way. My best wishes to you...

[gyco]

how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

patience

bear73;934822 wrote: I've just lost this long post!!

I am terrified by the idea of never drinking again

I bounce about between af/mod because of this
I plan
I fail
I realise that alcohol has always been part of socialising for me, coincided with when my social circle widened as a teen - so without it will i go back to being mousy teenager?

i feel so much better af - mentally and physically

I feel smoking/drinking/bad food are all interrrelated for me - yet I faff about trying to tackle 1/or should i tackle all. all is a lot - but this week demonstartes - do one - the others follow.

I haven't hot rock bottom so haven't had bad health/job loss/relationship breakdown - yet for which i am grateful - but the deterrent isn't there of that/can't identify with soem of aa lit because of that.

yet alcohol stops me being the best i can be - mentally and physically and enjoying life

I am really really scared of the idea of never being able to drink again/failing yet again and trying to be af again/the cycle continues

how did you deal with this without it seeming like such an insurmountable and scary task?

good post bear,i am not the only one,many times ive stopped,or thot of forever,ive been doin this many years,and have finally concluded,its not whether you totally stop or not,its how you play life,even sobriety,which ive also done o so many times,only to wake to worry about if i will drink,it is a never ending story,you have to find comfort in your own soul,even a person with years of sobriety,asks themself,what about one,it is an addiction,just like anything else we over do,i hope you find comfort that your not alone in your feelings,i wish you well gyco

[Lavande]

how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

Bear,

Changing your thinking about AL is every bit as important as putting down the bottle!
I used the CDs a lot in the beginning, they really helped.
Making a gratitude list/keeping a journal helps you to keep focus as well.
Once I made the commitment I just had to honor it because letting myself down is something I just won't do anymore. That feels very, very good

[Doggygirl]

how did you deal with never drinking again - fear

Bear for me, I had to cross the line in the sand where I want to be sober MORE than I want to drink. Are you really at that place yet? Is that part of the real battle for you? It seems like you are "fighting." I can't say exactly when or how it changed, but I don't feel like I'm fighting AL at all any more. That makes each sober day easy.

This disease (or affliction or addiction - whatever term you like) is defnitely progressive. If things are not bad enough YET to convince you that you really DON'T want to drink any more, it will probably get worse. I don't say this harshly or flippantly. I am reflecting back on my own journey and I recognize that I *knew* I could not drink safely, ever, long before I was ready to admit it or stop the madness. Only you can decide when you are ready to make the real changes necessary to live in sobriety. For me, that involved a whole lot more than just "not drinking" and I had to be ready and willing to do what I had to do before it could happen.

DG