Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

[Doggygirl]

Hi everyone! Welcome to the new week. Feel free to join in on this thread whether you attend AA or not. If you have questions about AA this is a good place to ask - you will get lots of feedback. If you are not interested in AA but would like to join in on whatever we are talking about that is great!

Useful links:

Daily Recovery Readings

Big Book Online

The Promises

Starting fairly recently, I started going to a women's Big Book study on Mondays. I'm still trying to decide if I will go today or not. I'm feeling a bit drawn to it so I will probably go today. The material is always good and the womens' meetings are helping me face my fears and insecurities about other women. Two pluses.

Have a safe and sober day one and all. j-vo, welcome back!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Everyone: Thanks DG for starting us off.

I just met w/the woman who will sponsor me through the steps again. I went through them my first year in AA w/a male friend of ours. I knew I wanted & needed a woman sponsor. Sue, my sponsor, has 22 years & a history similar to mine. Today, we read the first step & discussed it. She gave me a Hazelden booklet on step 1 w/questions. I'll fill her in as I go along answering the questions.

One of the issues we discussed was how easily she & I could say: "I'm not sure if I'm a full-fledged alcoholic. I was never arrested. I never lost my job or family. Etc. Etc." We talked about remembering that normal people:
-don't drink wine out of coffee cups.
-don't hide bottles under the sink cabinet.
-don't OD on alcohol.
-don't black out when they drink.
-don't throw up regularly.
-etc.

Those memories tend to break the denial that can creep up so easily.

I'm going to meet her for tonight's meeting. I couldn't feel more grateful for the fellowship. I can see why it works if a person is committed.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Mary, I forgot to congratulate you on getting a new sponsor! Sounds like a good fit. I don't believe I have seen the Hazelden brochures on the steps. When you have time, I would love to know what questions are suggested for consideration.

I went to the women's meeting. We read the first couple pages of the "Number Three" story in the Big Book - the guy who became a member of AA right after Bill W and Dr. Bob. It is always interesting to read the stories and talk about them.

This meeting is very much the "soccer Mom's." I can always relate to the material and the drinking issues - just not so much the women on a personal level. So it doesn't have that "raw" feeling the Friday group has for me. But it also makes me appreciate what I have in common with EVERYONE who is alcoholic.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

DG: I go to some meetings which I like & identify with more than others. I know what you mean about that "raw" feeling you get from some meetings which are just so heartfelt. My Sat. night & Sun. meetings are like that. Additionally, I love the people at those meetings. I'll let you know about the questions in that Step 1 pamphlet as I do them. Mary

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hi everyone!

I have returned from my first Sober vacation!! I went on an alaskan cruise, it was great and I stayed sober which was the best part!! They had scheduled "friends of Bill W" meetings on board and I went to the location listed in our newsletter but no one was there ( oh well I had my intention! and willingness.. and yesterday at a meeting I went to when I got back , a gal said, God was there!!! I of course hadn't thought of that! I had a couple of tough moments but made it through and I'm glad to back also so I can get back to my meetings.!!
Looking forward to getting back into the swing here too!

My focus this week is easy does it!!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Welcome back Cherbear! I've never done a sober cruise and would LOVE to take one to Alaska! What all did you see? Was it as fabulous as I imagine it to be? So glad you stayed sober. I am starting to sometimes remember I can always talk to HP any time.

DG

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Evening all,
Well, throughout my non-stop day, I've was able to squeeze in readings from the Big Book. While my son was getting his back to school haircut, I sat and read about Bill W. and a few other shorter stories. What I know is that I'm more like them in their alcoholic lives than their sober lives. Does that make sense? I'm also getting a greater understanding of the HP concept, and I think I've mentioned this, but that's been absent in my life since I was about 20 even though prior to 20, I did not have a strong connection with Him. I believe that this is the core, will be the core of my program, and the most important. I will (if I don't chicken out) go to a 6:30 meeting tomorrow evening, although it's not the same location as my first one.

Dance, did you stop attending AA awhile back? You spoke about a "call list." Can you elaborate on what that is. And as far as the questionnaires online, I must have taken every single one out there and failed miserably every single time!

DG, I bought the Big Book yesterday at Borders. I got a coffee and started into it right away. I see the format of the book, and I'd like to look more into the Big Book Studies as you've mentioned. Do you read the stories out loud together then discuss them? Another question! How many sponsee's do you have? What does that entail?

Reteacher, you mentioned sponsoring through steps. Do you meet prior to meetings to discuss topics? This is quite confusing. sorry for the questions.

Cherbear, congrats on a sober vacation. That is so awesome!

Thanks for being patient with all of my questions. I'm sure as I read more and more, It'll fall into place. It's quite overwhelming, but I have to remember to take it easy. That's a hard one for me.
Have a good night.

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

J-vo..

I hope you stay hopeful and go to the meeting! They have been a life saver for me.
I just got back from a "big book study" which some AA meetings have that format. They are on a certain section of the big book ( they always start at the beginning of the book and read it all the way through, of course a takes quite a awhile.) Everyone takes turns reading a paragraph and then the leader picks a time to stop reading and then it is open for sharing on maybe what struck you while the reading was going on. I really like it!! Other meetings have a chair person share something and might have a topic to share about.. but ultimately you can always share whatever is on your mind.
I tried to stop millions of times and AA seems to be what is really working for me. The spiritual aspect of the program is key, and I love hearing how everyone has a different way of embracing that spirtuality to stay sober.

Hang in there!!
Cher

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hi everyone. For some reason, this morning I have been thinking of a quote I heard around the tables. There is a local man who is passed now for quite a long time (I never had the pleasure of meeting him) but so many, many people speak of him still today about how he touched their lives and helped them in their journey to sober living. I have heard several people quote him when he talked about "wearing the world like a loose garment." (I think that actual line is out of the 12&12 or something, but he apparently used to talk about it a lot and it's importance in life) I think that is the ultimate in "take it easy." I've been very wound up and stressed out the last few days about getting everything moved around in preparation for this big remodeling project. I guess the things I've heard around the tables really DO stick in my head and come back to me when I need them. I'm going to really try to wear the world more like a loose garment today than I have the last few days.

You all are my meeting today! I decided to stay home all day and keep my head down on what I need to do here. I'm sure it will feel good to make some actual headway instead of just spending a lot of energy fretting and getting no actual work done.

Cherbear, I like the Big Book meetings too. I always get so much more out of the group discussion than when I just read things on my own. There are just so many pearls of wisdom in the "we" of this program. I think the spiritual side of this program is very huge for me too. And I didn't want to see that at first. I was so isolated especially during the last of the drinking years. I think of my higher power as the energy that connects us all to each other and to everything good in nature and the universe. The "it" factor that makes us so much more as "we" than any of us could ever be as "I."

j-vo, I hope you go to the meeting tonight! I know how scary it feels at first. Think how cool it will be to "just do it" and get past that fear and walk through a few doors. Before you know it, you will be looking forward to trying different meetings to see which ones you like and to find out where you will make some new friends. Push through this hard part and the good stuff will be there!

I have 2 sponsees. I see my role as helping them learn the steps as my own sponsor taught them to me. I am not responsible for their sobriety or even their progress with the steps. I am here to offer support and pass along what I know. The rest is up to them. They are different people and they work at different paces. It's great learning for me too and we help each other stay sober. They help me more than they realize. Different people have different ways of working together so when you reach that point, it's good to find out from a potential sponsor how they like to go about working together. See if that seems comfortable for you. I always suggest working on a temporary basis so both parties feel comfortable that they can back out if it's not working. Without any hard feelings. My first sponsor didn't work out. Getting through that in a mature fashion was all part of learning how to live as a sober adult in an honest way.

Today I hope to wear the world like a loose garment and appreciate all the wonderful people I am connected to here on this earth.

DG

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Good morning,

Char, thanks for your wisdom and advice. I was surprised when you said they read all the way through the book in one night. How long does that take? Or is it they read through a section of the book.

DG, I love that simile "wear world like a loose garment." I want to pick up a special journal that I can write these words of wisdom down so I can look back and reflect. Of course it's going to have to have a leather cover, maybe with pretty flowers on it or something! Good luck with your remodeling project. It's been quite busy here as I'm getting ready to head back to work on Mon. and my son will be starting Jr. High in a week and a half! There's so much to do in preparing him and me and I do get overwhelmed. I've got to get into my classroom today and hopefully Thursday to set everything up. I hate leaving him alone although he's almost 13. He used to come in with me to help, but doesn't have that interest anymore. "Wear the World Like a Loose Garment" today! Thanks for explaining about the sponsees. I see that as one of the important components to the program. Serving and helping others. I hope I can do that someday.

Have a great day!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

OK - coffee break. Already. I like today's "gift" from Hazelden:

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

I am responsible for myself, my recovery, my well-being, my happiness. All these things are, ultimately, my own responsibility.
--Anonymous

Our Higher Power does not lay claim to our free will. We can choose not to be responsible and make ourselves more miserable by going to new levels of despair and depression. Or we can seize every opportunity for a better life. We are responsible.

When we were newcomers and just getting started, we were generally very confused. We welcomed the support. Many of us were fed up with our lives and would have freely turned them in for a different model. But we learned to put into action what we were learning. We are responsible.

Our sponsors give us good advice and sound instructions. We can choose to listen to the advice or not. We are responsible.

Although we will always be dependent on God for our strength, it is up to us to ask God for that strength and do the necessary work to receive it. We are responsible.

Today, I'll remember my Higher Power has given me free will to accept or reject responsibility. My life is better when I act responsibly.

I have had to really work to understand how my free will fits in with HP will.

j-vo, it seems so "final" all the parents getting kids ready for school and all the teachers getting the classes ready to begin. You are doing both!

DG

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

I went to my second meeting!!!!

Scared to death again. I could feel the heat coming up my neck and going down my arms as I walked in. That didn't leave for most of the hour. I liked this meeting much more than the first. There were approx. 35-40 participants and one dog! The dog didn't share, didn't even poop. Well, there was such an array of people. The topic was manageability or lack of that in our lives. Well, I can relate to that one. And as people spoke, I could relate to almost everything anyone said. Such encouragement from them also. I spoke to a guy who also gave me another list I didn't have of more meetings and told me of one I should try on Sat. morning, said there were a lot of strong, long-time sober people there, more women. I'm going to that for sure.

Well, even though I was a nervous wreck, I spoke probably for a minute. I first stated that I was a manager of teenagers at work, a teacher. When there is no behavior management, the class is unmanageable, nothing gets done, nobody learns, and it's chaos. That's my life with alcohol. I said I cannot manage it with only living it at 30 percent. Then I began to cry, so I stopped.

I think overall, it was a very positive experience for me. I'm glad I went. I'm going to go and study the meeting times and places now.

Good night.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Cher: I too tried to stop a million times on my own. The absolutely only way I can stay sober is through the fellowship of AA. I see plenty of people come & go. The ones who stop going to meetings usually end up in a liquor store at some point.

j-vo: The 12 steps are meant to be "worked" w/a sponsor or guide. My sponsor is a person who has good, long sobriety. She & I just read Step 1 together, & she gave me a Hazelden pamphlet w/questions to complete for Step 1. She told me to call her but didn't give me a specific time of day. She seems to be leaving the calling & face-to-face contact up to me. Some sponsors are more specific...especially w/the real newcomers (under a year sober). Sometimes meetings will have the question: "Is anyone willing to be a temporary sponsor?" in the preamble. Sometimes old timers will even approach a newbie after a meeting & offer his/her phone number. In any case, when you are ready for a sponsor, one will appear.

Push through those fears around going into meetings as much as possible. You're going to come to the point where you actually feel comfortable going into meetings, because you'll become known to the fellowship. The friendships of AA are miracles in my life.

Good luck.

Mary

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

J-vo... I think you miss understood re: the big book study meetings. they read through the entire book eventually. they do a section at a time in a meeting and allow time for disscussion so it may take weeks or months to get through the whole book, I don't really know how long it takes because I am so new at this myself! and YAY for you for going to your second meeting. I'm so glad it was a better meeting and that you shared alittle. I cried for my first 4 meetings or so and I still get choked up sometimes depending on what I'm saying!! keep going!!!

DG I forgot about your question about Alaska, it was beautiful but coolish! we saw many humpback and orca whales, eagles, a very big glacier, ice bergs . and went to 3 small towns along the eastern inside passage of Alaska. It was very relaxing. I would recommend it!! but bring layers of clothes. I live in Seattle so I knew what to expect but some didn't really and the sweatshirts on the ship really sold well ))

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Congratulations to all of you that are attending your first meetings. That is such a big step (pun intended). As everyone told me in the beginning " it does get easier", that is so true.
I enjoy attending different meetings, that is one benefit of my work life on the road.
Keep coming back.