Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hi all,
I have been reflecting on the Easy does it this week because I am anxious to start working step 4 but wonder if I should wait?? Also I wondered how others of you who have worked the steps did step 4? any ideas.
I am the type that wants to plow through quickly and I'm thinking that I may need to work on that.
DG I loved that phrase.. Wear the world in a loose garment. yes indeed.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hi, everyone - Good to see you back Cherbear, and congrats on your AF vacation!

J-vo - I've seen Big Book studies done in 2 more different ways. It is cool how different groups, chairs, whatever all have slightly different ways. Keeps it fresh, I guess. At one, we all take turns reading a paragraph or two, and then comment on it, and anyone else can after us. We read approximately a chapter a day, and pick up the next week where we left off. It's interesting because you may end up reading any random paragraph, and adding your comments. Often I find I'd get one that really speaks to me.

At another meeting that is always chaired by the same man, he will read one or two paragraphs, and that is our topic for the night. A few of us were groaning because we were on the chapter about wives (spouses), and how our drinking effected our relationships. Everyone loves pondering and talking about that I know - especially every week! That group is always small, so everyone has an opportunity to talk. It's interesting how deep you can delve on one topic over a matter of weeks. Maybe that's why that is such a good meeting.

A call list is a list of numbers they give out to newcomers. I need to at least e-mail - I told three people I would (and I will). I was hoping as I got to know people I could maybe find at least a temporary sponsor. I'm still not quite sure what the calling business is about (that will be one of my first questions). Any insight, DG? I have been carrying it with me, and anyone I feel I connect with a little, I ask them to mark their name, so I know which Debbie or Kathy or Jane they are. The thing is two pages long, and lots of people with the same first names.

I had a good women's meeting last night, it was intense as I've ever seen, but it made me push my own boundaries big time. Without getting too detailed, it was an example of where availability of women only meetings are a necessity, and how many woman only feel safe in them. But I had the experience of sharing some pretty painful stuff, as well as my trust and fear issues more honestly than I have before. For me that feels like a huge breakthrough. I felt safe enough to do that, and supported no matter what. Listening to myself, that's something I've rarely if ever experienced.

On the thread "Why?? A simple question..." (yesterday in the "Just Starting Out" section) - I know DG read it because she commented on it - the story I posted was a true story from one of the toughest of the tough girls from the other meeting. It just made so much sense, it was such a clear and simple message.

Hope everyone has a good evening and a good tomorrow (since it's getting late where I am)! :h

P.S. - I started this reply earlier, went out, and I see j-vo and Mary posted in between. J-vo, congratulations on going for it! Mary, you are so right about pushing through our fears and j-vo I'm glad you did & I did too and came back & it's better than ever. I've been thinking too, when the issues I was having when I took a break a few months back came up, I think I could have worked through if I'd had a sponsor. I'm so bullheaded sometimes, and asking for help is such a foreign concept to me. I am so grateful to have experienced the unconditional support, and being able to let that fear go.

P.S. Hi, Cherbear and Phil too (I didn't see you two just now)!

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

I'm so grateful to you all for teaching me and guiding me through this new life-saving adventure. Yes, it's scary, especially because I have severe social anxiety, which I believe led me to the bottle a long time ago. But as a secondary therapy, meeting with people and sharing will, I believe help this condition as well as get me to a more peaceful and happy, manageable life.

Mary, I'm going to be frequenting about three more different meeting places before looking into sponsorship. I'd like to see where I may be most comfortable and also get to know the people more so I can see who may be compatible with me as far as working through the steps.

Cher, I think I may know of a meeting that has a big book study. It's closeby, a little late for my school schedule, but I will eventually look into it. It's actually at the church I plan to attend, with the pastor who is a recovering alcoholic. I've met him before and he's a great man. I can see the benefit of various types of meetings now, and hope to be able to spread my wings and fly to different ones.

cpn, thank you for the encouragement!

Dance, I have not seen a call list, although I've only been to two meetings. I think I'll wait until I've been to several places then ask someone for a list. Congrats. on your huge break-through in the women's meeting! I will be reading "Why" in the Just Starting out thread.

Have a great day.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hello everyone! j-vo, I'm so happy for you that you braved another meeting. I think that fear in the parking lot will stop before long. I found it so comforting once I figured out that no matter what meeting I attend, there will be something familiar about it and I will be welcome even if I've never met anyone in the room. That is such an amazing part of this fellowship.

Cher, some cool weather on the deck of a ship watching whales sounds so fabulous after this summer heat. I really need to talk to Mr. Doggy about making a plan.

Dance, the format you described of a BB meeting where each person reads a paragraph and comments on it, then go to the next person sounds very interesting. I've not been to one like that. (could always start one LOL! All it takes is two alcoholics talking for it to be an AA meeting)

On the call lists. Many of us tended to isolate in our drinking. One of the functions of the call list is for "emergencies." If we are having urges, it is suggested that we call someone (or many someones) before we drink. It was also suggested to me to use the phone numbers I collect to get in the habit of calling people, and to develop new friendships. To reach out to people instead of isolate. It's a real opportunity to make big changes to the "people" part of the people, places and things. Sponsee #2 did a fabulous job calling someone different each day. Before you know it, she had an army of new friends and was going all over the place to different meetings and sober social events.

I think connecting with people and getting ourselves out of isolation mode is huge.

Dance, I'm like you. I think I'm tough and strong and don't need anyone. I sure don't need anyone telling me what to do. I'm so glad I have a sponsor now. It's really nice sometimes to ask for her opinion before I just decide something important on my own. Sometimes two heads really ARE better than one. And I'm learning too that accepting suggestions doesn't take away my ability to make up my own mind in the end.

Well, gotta run. Going to my first meeting since Sunday. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Cher: Regarding step 4: Do you have a sponsor to work with? I honestly don't think it can be done correctly wo/one. I don't think there's any kind of time frame for doing Step 4...just that it should be searching & thorough. I did one during my first year in AA but feel the need to do it again w/my present sponsor. The steps are meant as a life-long endeavor. Mary

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Mary,

thanks for the advice.. I do have a sponsor.. all she said is to look at the seven deadly sins and reflect on those for now?? I haven't really done that yet. I am wondering alittle bit about my sponsor (

I have 60 days today!!!! yay!
I'm off to a meeting to get my coin.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Congratulations Cherbear on 60 days!!!!! Those chips mean a lot!

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hello everyone!

Congrats Cherbear on 60 days! I will have 60 days on Friday too! I am also finishing up the 4th and 5th step with my sponsor and it has been super helpful so I don't see any reason to wait, but that's just my experience. I know everyone does it differently. I can't believe its been almost 2 months since I've touched a drink, the program is working!

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hey cyber friends!

First of all , Congratulations Cherbear and marriedgirl on 60 days! You are both amazing!

Just returned from my holiday in India. My first SOBER holiday! I feel so energized by my newfound life. I love being sober!! There were many situations where I would have normally drank myself stupid but I know now that its just mind over matter.I dont have the intense cravings, just old memories of the drunk I use to be but now I just dont see the point in drinking anymore ( never thought I would say that!) and I fully accept that its the first drink that gets me drunk.

Everything is starting to make sense. The AA program is really hitting home now. For me its not the stopping, its the staying stopped!it's dealing with my thoughts without masking it or running away from it.
I want to spiritually grow and change my thought process. Man this is going to be a good year for me. I feel so energised!

Have a fabulous AF day today everyone
xx

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Morning all,

First, Congrats Cher and Married on your 60 days!!!!! That's something to be very proud of. I hope to be in your shoes in about...54 days!

Rebirth, congrats on your sober holiday. Your enthusiasm and optimism are infectious. You're right. It's staying stopped which is the most important. And the first drink to never take.

DG, I've got three more places to hit. I'll see which ones I feel most comfortable at, as well as scanning the area for people with long-time sobriety. I will not rush into it, but I am staying focused and continuing to read the big book and undrunk (this is very helpful to understanding the process).

Have a good day everyone. I'm off to get the classroom ready. They took down all of my borders on my bulletin boards which they never do and I have to put them back up! Takes forever. Oh well, have a super day.

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Oh my! I just realized I have 500 posts! It's gonna be a good day!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Cher: Thanks for the reminder about the 7 deadly sins. I just started Step 1 again w/my new sponsor. I'm going to work on it later today. Congratulations to you on your 60 days. I remember going up & picking up those chips. It's incredibly rewarding. Now, when I clap for someone getting a monthly chip, I can just see the satisfaction on his/her face.

j-vo: You're doing so well. I remember well those first few months of meetings. It wasn't easy, but I'm so glad I braved it.
-Yes, I met up w/people from the "outside" world who had no idea I was an alcoholic.
-Yes, I wanted to make excuses not to go.
-Yes, I felt I wasn't like some of the speakers I heard...in reality I was!

But, I kept at it, & now I couldn't be more proud of myself. You'll feel that way too.

Mary

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Good Morning everyone!!
Thankds for the hugs! I felt them ) and Married congrats soon to you too!!
Rebirth: welcome back and yay for you making it through the traveling sober, I made it too and realized the stupid mind thing and that "I don't drink" anymore...period. end of story.

Mary, I plan to start working on my 4th step now. I feel ready. I'm going to call my sponsor and be more direct about what I feel I want to do now. I think that is what I should do.

Have a wonderful day everyone

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

Hi all!

Cher and MG, congratulations on your 60 days! :yougo::yougo::yougo:

Cherbear, I think it's great that you will let your sponsor know you want to get to work. Ultimately, it is our own responsibility to work a good program and stay sober. Our sponsors are there to help - we need to ask for that help I think! Remember it is the "fearless" moral inventory in addition to being searching and thorough as Mary pointed out. There is so much growth and freedom possible in these steps I love to "go for it" rather than dilly dally. But that's just me.

I have often heard the 7 Deadly Sins referenced as a good point of contemplation to consider character defects and how they impact our lives and actions and relationships. That should be a good exercise!

Welcome back rebirth! I love how energized you sound. I'm glad you shared because I got a burst of energy from you too! I am so grateful to be out of the quagmire that was my life when I drank. Now growth and adventure in life are possible.

j-vo, I too liked that Undrunk book. It really does help explain a lot of things, doesn't it. I'm also constantly amazed by the Big Book. The alkie thinking sure hasn't changed much in 75 years, has it. The other thing I love about the Big Book is that each time I go back and read a chapter again, I get something different out of it. I believe the book was very carefully written and edited where every word in it "matters." I think there is more about the history of everything (including the writing of the Big Book) in AA Comes of Age. I have that book and haven't started reading it yet. I know it will be interesting. I think this is going to be a good day too!

Mary, I echo all that you said about the early days of meetings.

Hello Dance!

Todays meeting was very special. Step Coach was there along with a new guy who was also there yesterday. The new guy will have 2 weeks tomorrow. I can see myself in his tears - a mixture of fear and hope. There was also a young guy there who picked up his 30 day coin yesterday. These are the people who energize Step Coach! (and me - I see why this is energizing!) Our topic was finding a power greater than ourselves. Step Coach has certain stories that he tells the same way every time, and I love his story about finding his higher power. He says that his HP when he first came to AA was alcohol. He says he had to change his god or he would die. Drinking was that way for me too. I didn't realize that I "worshiped" alcohol but basically I did. My primary thoughts every day for many years were about drinking. When, where, what. That was more important than anything else. So yes, I suppose I really DID need to change my God!. Step Coach says "I changed my God to the G.O.D. Good Old Drunks around the table who stayed sober one day at a time. You told me if I did what you did I would get what you got - another day of sobriety." This explanation is so special to me because his way of saying this opened my mind to the whole concept of HP. That there IS a power greater than myself whether I want to admit it or not. And even if I'm not ready or willing to figure out God in the religious sense, I can benefit but putting my faith and trust into something a lot better, with much more to offer, than alcohol. When I look around the table at the wonderful people there who stay sober one day at a time together - and care so much about each other, how could I NOT see them as one (of many) power greater than myself?

Anyway....enough ramble. I was teary eyed today in the meeting and again now. It's so good to FEEL again.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of 8/16 through 8/22

DG, your posts are wonderful.
Thanks for being here/there for all of us.