AF daily - friday 20th

[Hippy Chick]

Thought I would step out of my comfort zone and start todays thread.

Am quite excited today and wanted to tell you about it.

Went to the doctors yesterday to get my AD's dosage increased (well, doubled actually) and the doc went thru the usual quiz to see the level of my depression - it's to check to see if immediate intervention is needed I think. She had done it the time before and I couldnt answer one of the questions she asked about anxiety because I hadnt thought about it.

So this time I had been thinking about it on a daily basis to see how it affects my life. I realised during the week that anxiety plays a huge part in my life. Everything I do is affected by anxiety to the point of panic attacks. But because I have been living with it all my life, I really hadnt thought about it, I have just learnt to live with it.

For as long as I can remember I have mainly felt anxious about doing things that involve socialising and getting out of the house. That is the reason I would have a few drinks before I left the house. I just thought it was to loosen up and get in the party mood.

So now I am wondering if alcohol abuse was a symptom of the anxiety rather than the other way around.

When I mentioned it to my husband he said that is why he is always telling me to relax and just get out and do things. He knew and I didnt!

And now that I dont have AL to calm my anxiety, I am having to feel it and deal with it sober and that is why I have been feeling so bad since I gave up.

Still havent been able to get into see a councillor - the waiting list is huge apparently. But am looking forward to being able to explore more about this realisation.

So today I am feeling quite good for a change.

Hope everyone has a good Friday.

Off to work now. Will catch you all later.

Hippy

[greeneyes]

AF daily - friday 20th

Wonderful!!!!! That is great to see you make a connection like that! We are all about stepping out of comfort zones. Lots of times it ends with "OK, well that wasn't so bad" and on to being a safe and enjoyable thing to do. Yay!!

[Hippy Chick]

AF daily - friday 20th

That's the plan Greenie!

[Guitarista]

AF daily - friday 20th

Hiya HC, Greenie, and Fab Abber's!

That's great stuff HC. Just to begin to understand the reason's we drink, or abuse ourselves/hide feeling's/reality, whatever, is a huge breakthrough i reckon. You must be pretty relieved, and as you say, feeling good about that. Stick on your path, and have patience friend. Bravo!

Happy POETS day all!

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - friday 20th

Good morning fabbie abbies! (or whatever time / day it is in your zone!) I haven't had much time on the forum the last few days so am woefully behind on the news. But wanted to jump back in and say hello. Will try to catch up with everyone as time permits!

HC - thanks for getting us started today. What a great post! I think it's so amazing how when we stop drinking, we start having the opportunity to REALLY figure ourselves out and REALLY address properly whatever we were masking with AL. I hope your doctor is able to work with you to help get the anxiety sorted out! Good for you!

I too think G's song should be the MWO theme song! (remembering that someone posted that...Cindi? Cindi how is the new grand baby faring?)

I feel sort of bad that I just turned down a volunteer project for the local United Way. (our local one does GREAT work on a shoe string unlike some of the other United Way offices where administrative costs are higher...just don't want to start a UW debate!) Anyway, it will be a good project and I'd love to be involved but I'm having to step up and learn my limits and learn to say no. I am adding to my work at the Mission - will be doing a couple hours a week of "whatever needs doing" in the Family Center. I decided to continue working in the kitchen once a week too. Will be startint Community Leadership School 9/2 and the remodeling project should be starting around that time as well. So much to do getting ready for that! And still more jam to make! I want to be twins!

Anyway...I was thinking last night how full and busy my life is today. I am so grateful that I am not the lonely, depressed, isolated alcoholic that I used to be. I'm still and alkie, but a happy one in remission.

Hello to fabbie abbies far and wide. I hope your lives are good and getting better every day. One thing is for sure, there will be no drinking AL for this DG today. I :h you guys!

DG

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - friday 20th

Wow - yesterday was a busy and varied day here in AF-land!

Uni - congrats on picking up your 1 month coin. I hope you felt like a million bucks!!! I'm so happy that the rehab place has shifted your activities to things appropriate for where you are in sobriety (beyond the initial detox). I had the biggest smile reading your post. That attitude will carry you far.

P3 - I APPLAUD you for having the courage to just tell the simple truth to your doctor. There may come a time (and maybe that is NOW) where knowing the truth will help in his treatment. Also, I think we attach all kinds of emotions to the facts of our lives. Sometimes setting those emotions aside and just sticking to the facts can help us through things. :yougo:

:welcome: Babysteps and Filthee! This is a great group to enjoy getting sober with.

What is all this talk about people being in their 50's????? WHAT????? We are 29. That is all.

HC - I hope hubs was not too tipsy after the golf day. Among the trillions of things I am grateful for, the fact that Mr. D stopped his drug of choice at the same time I stopped mine is near the top of the list.

Marshy, I hope you slept until you wanted to get up today!

Lav - So...do you get to eat any of this produce? Or do you have to hand it all over? :H (sorry - I'm sure it was not funny at the time!)

Bear - it's always good to see you. Good to hear you are reading (advancing your sobriety plan) and also planning totally sober social things for the weekend. (rather than the plan being to go where there is drinking, and not drink, which hasn't been working) Good for you. Ultimately you have to decide what's most important to you.

Gaia - I hope all is well with Mr. T. I used to do a LOT of projecting - imaging what Mr. Doggy was thinking, and what he would do next, and then I would get upset about it, etc. All that emotional energy spent on something that hadn't taken place yet, and usually never did. Not sure if that's the case here but it's just something I've had to work on - staying in the now and staying with the facts rather than imagining what might be going on.

Raven.joy - have an awesome time in France! I hope you will come back and tell us all about your AF journey.

Hi G and Cindi. We need a fangirl smilie. :yougo:

Hello to anyone I missed!

DG

[momof3]

AF daily - friday 20th

Good Morning All,

Three cheers for you HC! It is really quite amazing how quickly we begin to get clear on things we we are AF! I think many of us started drinking to help us with anxiety. Problem is, it only makes anxiety worse in the long run. I am a naturally anxious person too and my anxiety level is way better since I've been AF. I no longer have to take medication for it which I know is not always the case for others. It is much more manageable and I burn off alot of my nervous energy through exercise. It really helps alot.

Well, over the past few days I've been looking at kitchen cabinets, layout, etc. Lots of decisions go with a renovation but I'm just taking them one at a time.

Mr. G...always good to hear from you. I think you should take Lav along to France since she is looking for a travel companion to go to Paris with.

DG, I have trouble with setting limits on my service-oriented work too. There's so much to do and I love this type of work and have always done some sort of volunteer or community service.

Greenie, Did the plumber ever show up.

Gaia, read your post yesterday. I hope you are feeling better. Lots going on for you with the move and all. I admire how well you have handled it.

M3

[Guitarista]

AF daily - friday 20th

Hi M3!

I would be delighted to escort Lav to France sometime. You know, stranger thing's have happened...;-)
Good move not taking on toooooo much i reckon DG. We need 'me' time to recharge too.

[greeneyes]

AF daily - friday 20th

Plumber called and left message in AM. I returned call in afternoon and that was it. So no, he never showed up or called back for that matter. He's very adolescent in his approach to doing business. Happy to say, I'm not upset over it. Probably because I have a second bathroom. But I AM focusing on my energy and perception of things, etc. and would like to consider this situation progress in that area. (pat self on back smiley thingy)

[Lavande]

AF daily - friday 20th

Happy Friday Abbers!

So looking forward to the Insanity Twins departing today! Sick of their morning breath, yuck!!

HC, I could write volumes on anxiety! It has always been part of my persona as well. I know, in my case, it comes from being raised in a tense, dysfunctional household. I learnned to manage it well enough & get on with life too. But it all came back & bit me in the ass when FH went thru his midlife crisis years ago. He failed to work thru the crisis & allowed it to turn into chronic depression. That's what started me self-medicating with wine........just to keep my mouth shut!!!!! You know that I didn't do well on the AD but have had good results with Amoryn. Do whatever you need to do to get the anxiety under control sister. I hope you get relief very, very soon

G - be careful........I just may take you up on your offer!!!! Do you speak French as well? :h

Greetings to DG, Greenie, M3 & everyone!
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday.

Lav

[Rusty]

AF daily - friday 20th

Hi AF Friends,

Just checking in to say hello. Who is going to France? I have to go in October. Yeah, yeah, don't give me a hard time because I HAVE to go....it's business and it will be quick. I won't even have time to browse down the Champs-Elysees or go to the Louvre.

Doggy, Mr. G-guess what??????????? Since I quit drinking, I have increased my running time by about 8 minutes! Doggy-I ran on the lake path yesterday from the beach all the way to the yacht club. No way I could have done that drinking, or um, hungover.

Have a great AF day, everyone.

No drinking for this Rusty woman today. Too many fun things planned on my day off

[jodiex]

AF daily - friday 20th

I am so grateful that I am not the lonely, depressed, isolated alcoholic that I used to be. I'm still and alkie, but a happy one in remission. one day i will write this post about me doggygirl

[LVT25]

AF daily - friday 20th

Oh, wow. So much to add, so little time!

Thanks for starting us off hippychick. I'm glad you're feeling better. Time is also our friend when it comes to getting/being sober.

DG--I'm kinda like you that there is just not enough of me to go around. When I "retired" 3 years ago I had plenty of time for volunteer stuff, but then the more jobs I added to my life, the less time I had--so I was giving up more of my personal time. I'm finding it's hard to get out of something you've started doing. For example I have been in charge of putting up the sweet corn for our Church's big dinner in October. This year the corn was really hard to come by because of all the storms, and when it was ready I was spending time with my sis. I told the lady in charge the situation and she said "ok, I'm busy too, we just won't have corn this year". When I told my fellow session members about it, they had all kinds of ideas about where to find some corn. All I had to do was call John's wife, then call whoever she said had the corn, then go pick it, shuck it, wash it, cut it off the cob and freeze it! I said, ok, I'll get the corn if someone wants to help me do the rest......Ok, let's not have corn at the dinner this year.:H Which is fine, but guess what? A friend told me yesterday I can get all the corn I want, so now I'm thinking I should do this since it's available. UGH!

Greenie--it seems all plumbers, electricians, carpet layers, etc are pretty darn independent and inconsiderate!

My in laws from Missouri are coming next week. The big drinkers. I'm actually looking forward to it. Hubby's birthday is Monday and he has been pretty down since an old friend of his died recently. So I've invited a few people over for the evening. It's been a long time since we've done that. I'm so glad that I am comfortable enough in my sobriety that I can be around friends drinking again. Friends are important. The men will carry on, and I can just go to bed.

Ok, I better get to work. Hubby wants to get our passport pictures taken today. I've been telling him I want to go to Mexico for my "special" birthday in October, but now I'm having $$$$ second thoughts. I think maybe I'd rather have a new refrigerator?:H But that doesn't mean we can't be prepared!

Have a great weekend everyone!:h

[Guitarista]

AF daily - friday 20th

G - be careful........I just may take you up on your offer!!!! Do you speak French as well? :h

Greetings to DG, Greenie, M3 & everyone!
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday.

Lav
Lav, i do speak French, but not that well, however, the language of love, is where i excel. :h

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - friday 20th

jodiex;939324 wrote: I am so grateful that I am not the lonely, depressed, isolated alcoholic that I used to be. I'm still and alkie, but a happy one in remission. one day i will write this post about me doggygirl

You can get there. Be willing to go to any length. Don't rule out anything. If your current plan doesn't work or stops working, CHANGE IT. WE CAN BE SOBER!!!! Very good to see you posting on this thread. There is a lot of good sobriety going on here!

LVT - GO TO MEXICO!!!!!!! You are ahead of me in the "willing and ready to host a boozy party" department. I'm sure your hubby will be thrilled and it's a wonderful thing you are doing since you are ready for it. I would be tempted to be selfish.

Rusty, your fitness improvements are awesome! Isn't it amazing what we can do when we stop it already with the poison? I can't wait to see the lake and hopefully walk that trail in November.

Lav and G as traveling companions. Yes...why not? :h

All this talk of vacations has me wanting to get serious about a Alaska cruise. Shall have to speak to Mr. D about it. See if he wants to seriously plan something (would be a year or two out at least!) together or if he would rather I find a gal pal. I already know a woman who wants to go on an Alaska cruise and is looking for a traveling companion....

M3 and LVT - good to know I'm not alone in having to learn how to balance all this stuff. M3, I feel your pain shopping for cabinets, etc. I am SOOOOOO grateful to have a decorator do all the leg work. Have you considered that? I found out that they mainly make their money on the difference between what they pay for stuff with their discounts, and what you would pay for it if you bought it yourself retail. Of couse we are not doing the work ourselves either so there is no "do it yourself" savings factor possible for us. We're paying someone to do it whether we general contract or have somebody else be general contractor.

Greenie, I hope you have 2 working bathrooms very soon!

Well, I'm cooled off now so time to go get a bit more stuff done here then go help serve dinner at the mission. One thing is for sure....

DG