Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hello everyone! I am really enjoying the posts. I'm leaving now to take Sister to her doctor appointment. This is related to some issues following the mastectomy - swelling in her arm and some things with the scar tissue. She's a trooper. You are my meeting today so I really enjoyed reading your posts and wish I had more time to respond! But thank you so much for sharing.

DG

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

4th step...last meeting

Hello everyone,

Today I am meeting my sponsor to do the last inventory of my 4th step. I am pretty ready I think. Then I have to come home for an hour and meditate. Sounds kind of daunting, the thought of meditating for a whole hour! It's to think about if I have been totally honest in my inventory so that I can move on to the 5th step as long as everything is in order. I can't believe I'm actually doing it, I mean to be on the 5th step just sounds crazy when I think about it, as I've mentioned before I have never worked the 4th before even though I've come into the rooms of AA many times over the years to try to get sober. This time I'm really doing it!

Also, I have always had sort of a weird obsessive hobby of a)looking online at trip advisor and expedia, researching and pricing out vacations, places etc. and b) shopping for homes online, even though I just bought one last year and am in no way in the market. It's sort of how I take a mental break. I think the second one is ok, as long as I am not getting discontent with my current house, but the first one- looking at exotic locales, beaches etc. just keeps making me feel the opposite of gratitude for my sobriety. I know I've brought up the vacation topic before and it seems I'm just not over it, i.e. I still can't imagine doing on without drinking. So, I decided I am cutting myself off from expedia and trip advisor. All I'm doing is making things worse. I need to take some time off from doing this so that when I do look again maybe I will have a different perspective. It's keeping me from staying in the present by projecting about future trips that aren't even real! It is a crazy thing to do, and I'm sure we all have those weird little things, anyone else got any funny things they like to look up online or do to escape? Or is it just me haha! I know I'm weird!!!!

MG29

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hi all,
I spoke to my sponsor a good while last night. She told me to reread up to 57, seeing if there is anything I can relate to as I read. I will start going to her house on Tues. evenings for a small women's group ont he big book. She said they read small sections from the beginning, stop, discuss... This is where I'll begin my official work on the steps. I'm looking forward to this! I think I'll be able to share a lot more with everyone when that begins.

Mary, it's scary knowing that it comes out of nowhere. And as a mom, you had to be so devastated and scared. Good messages from your meeting - I slip into that "old thinking" and think, maybe I'm not so bad, blah, blah, blah. The work on the steps, my HP, going to meetings and serving others is what I'm hearing as the AA message or program. Thanks for sharing that.

DG, hope your sis is ok. I'll say a prayer for her and you.

Married, I heard that's a really tough step. Great for you! As they say, and Mary just mentioned, taking up space at meetings is not enough. We have to work the steps. I know what you mean as far as vacation. And it only happens once or twice a year, but I can't remember a time I didn't drink, and drink heavily on vacation. I feel the same way about going out to a fancy dinner and not having alcohol. But I have to remember, I never tasted the dinner. It was before dinner drinks, during dinner drinks, and skip the freakin' dessert, it's after dinner drinks (but not the fancy kind). More like another martini, straight up. You're not weird! Well, I've always thought of myself as weird, so I can be your wierd twin.

Have a good one.

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Just checking in this Friday morning.. have a day off finally.

Last night I went to a new woman's meeting that was very intimate.. smallest meeting I've ever been to. There was only 12 of us! but it was great. There is such a difference in woman's meetings than the co-ed. I think its good to have a combo. of both.
My sponsor has been unreachable lately by phone because she is sailing in a remote part of the San Juan islands (rough lift) so I have felt a little squirrly lately and I know I can call others and I shared that I still have a hard time just picking up the phone to a random person on the list. even though I know if someone called me I wouldn't mind in the least. Still that stubborn self will coming through.. need to prayer about that.

Have a great day and weekend everyone.

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Greetings all, I'm at the KC airport waiting to go home. I made two meetings on the road this week, nothing exciting but it is always good for me to attend.
Looking forward to my 630am meeting tomorrow. Have a sober weekend.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hi, everyone -

I've enjoyed all your posts this week, I just haven't chimed in yet!
I couldn't get to my tough girls meeting Wednesday, but I did get to one right down the street from where I was that day on the other side of town. So I didn't miss my commitment to a meeting that day. This was a mixed meeting. The topic was "being willing to go to any lengths - what does that mean to you?"

To me it overcoming sometimes seemingly trivial fears - but they are huge to me. It's nice to be listened to (and validated), not poo-pooed that my fears are silly or ridiculous. Fear of people, fear of talking in public, fear of not being able to do the steps perfectly, fear of being a fraud, fear of being poo-pooed....

I got some good replies, such as those steps looking so big & scary & impossible to do going in, and seeing them so differently coming out the other side. This from a big old good old boy type. Even a macho man can feel this way.

There were a few very new people in this group, and I need to see that and remember what that was like, hear what they are going through and feeling.

I have a women's meeting tomorrow to look forward to. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hmm. Just got back from my home group meeting and I am feeling somewhat deflated. I have been back from my hols for about two weeks so this is my first meeting since I have returned...I enthusiastically shared about my first sober holiday and how excited/grateful I am to be celebrating three months of sobriety next friday etc. But after the meeting one of the members told me off for not going to a meeting as soon as I got back. I got a looooong lecture about why one needs to attend meetings on a regular basis.
Sigh.He meant well but I found his behaviour pushy and would have preferred a hearty welcome back...maybe I am acting too precious?
Anyway, I am taking everyone's advice and will be attending other meetings besides my home group. May find a sponsor and start step work. Everyone is doing it except me???

MG I would love to meditate. Is it all about the breathing? I always look at expedia or trip advisor! I just love to travel and imagine renting out an apartment for half a year near a beach. I am so glad I got my first sober holiday out the way cause I relise that I was blowing it out of proportion.

Dancelot I relate to a lot of those fears. The ones you listed are huge for me too.They can be paralizing if I let them!
Something i also have to work on.

j-vo This sounds stupid but what happens at a speakers meeting? Is it any different to a normal AA meeting? And I am also not staggering anymore. I havnt staggered for nearly three months. YEEHAH!!:H

Mary I am around your daughter's age and I never check myself....I will make an appointment with the doctor. Got some moles that need looking at too...I liked the messages from your posts too.

Phil- you travel alot! Wonder what you do for a living? it's fantastic how you find your meetings. I really wanted to go to one when I was in India but couldnt find any in my area.

DG Hope everything is okay with your sister. x

Cher I also want to try out a womans group. It seems that meetings are very limited in my area in comparison to the options most of you have. Unless I travelled further...

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hi everyone! So little time to post this week but I have enjoyed reading all of yours!!!!

Rebirth, please have faith that the advice you got was good advice even though it didn't reflect your mood at the time. Part of my own "growing up" has been accepting that there are times when I am hearing something I need to hear that will help me down the road, even if I don't love hearing it in the moment. Getting away from meeting attendance is always the first thing I hear about when people come back after a relapse. So even though you were not about to relapse, I think the suggestion may have been appropriate on some level. :l That is great news that you plan to get out a bit more to different places and maybe find a sponsor. The fellowship of AA is amazing, but so is the step work. Go for it!!! :yougo:

Dance, that is a great story about how an old timer said something you connected with. That is an amazing part of these meetings. I just never know who is going to say something that is the right thing at the right time. It's cool!

Phil, hope you made it home safe and sound and enjoyed your home group this morning!

Cherbear, I am working to get over my _________(fear I'm sure!) of picking up the phone. It has helped me to set a goal to just MAKE myself call somebody each day and just say hi. I haven't gotten to it every day, but I'm getting to it a WHOLE lot more than I used to. By making some calls when I am NOT in crisis mode I feel it will be easier to make a call if I ever AM in crisis mode. I only recently started going to women's meetings too and you are so right about the different vibe. I like both vibes!

j-vo, I am so happy for you reading about your new sponsor. Sounds so terrific. You seem so ready for this and I just believe in my heart you will love the steps and get a lot out of it. It doesn't matter where you are in this program - share about it! It is ALL valuable.

MG, congrats on your 4th step progress. I bet you will be amazed at a sense of relief after the 5th step. That's how I felt anyway. So free. So forgiven. It was worth every bit of effort to me going through the dark corners of my past.

Mary, I hope you are having a good weekend.

Hello to anyone I might have missed!

The Tough Chicks meeting yesterday was awesome. I am enjoying going there week after week and connecting more and more with these amazing women. I can't believe how diverse this group of women is in every way. But the energy in the room is so alive and so connected. I feel an HP very strongly there. I am also enjoying the materials we are working with - A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps. The exercises in the workbook are very thought provoking especially when we go around the table and hear everyone's take on it. The other really amazing thing for me is that every week, I am appreciating more and more that "God of your understanding" truly can be anything you want it to be. When I first went to AA I truly thought that was just a clever way of hiding the necessity of eventually coming 'round to a Christian version of HP. I am seeing successful sobriety among people with a very broad range of HP definitions. It has been a true blessing to be able to talk for several weeks with these women about matters related to Step 2.

Went to the regular Big Book meeting this morning and interestingly, read Chapter 4 which is also related to Step 2. (Chapter to the Agnostic) As usual, with each reading something new jumps off the pages at me and it did today as well. As alcohlics, we are not really choosing between and alcoholic life or a spiritual life. We are choosing between an alcoholic DEATH and a spiritual life. That makes me a little more willing to consider a spiritual life I think. We celebrated a 19 year anniversay and a 3 week anniversay today. Two guys who have the same first name. They are both important anniversaries!

Have a wonderful day one and all!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Last night's meeting was great. We read the end of the chapt. to the agnostic & the first part of how it works. It's always great to be reminded of the basics. Mary

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hi All,

Thanks DG for your thoughts on the calling thing.. I was wondering is the book "A Woman's way through the twelve steps an AA sponsored book?? I'm going to ask my sponsor about it.
Today at my woman's meeting we ended up talking about relapse. there was a gal there that opened up to a slip. of having 2 glasses of wine and how much she wanted to just not say anthing and keep her "birthday" but then realized how she would know and Honesty was everything. The stories of everone that relapsed (which there were alot) made me realize how important the meetings are to not relapsing.


Rebirth: when you mentioned the harshness of the guy who said you need to not have that long between meetings.. it made me think about an old timer gal in my meetings who keeps reminding me that all the "touchy feely" stuff in the meetings is all great. yada yada.. but the meat of it is hard core reality of the progressivness of the disease and how AA works is working the program which of course means going to meetings often. There is a wide range of personalities and I bet that guy really does genuinely care about your sobriety it just might of shocked you at the time at the intensity of it.

have a great weekend everyone.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hi Cherbear. I do not believe that book is AA sponsored material. I personally feel it's important to go through the steps as written in the Big Book with a sponsor at least once. I'm glad I did that first. Many old timers do not advocate using any materials other than the limited AA approved ones. I can respect that opinion. Now that I'm venturing out a bit, I view these other books about the 12 steps as a useful adjuct to the Big Book. I would not advocate straying too far from the Big Book, especially early on.

ETA: Also, this book is about the 12 Steps in general - not specific to alcoholism. It could be used as a supplement to any 12 Step program.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Fears: I'm becoming more & more of an advocate of working through fears. It's the only way to progress & not have them hang around gaining strength as time goes on. I'm finding that the more I chip away at them, the less power they have over me. It could be something as simple as speaking up to someone when I need to. Avoidance of my fears just makes them grow bigger.

The 12 steps: I too am an advocate of working them. I could never have done them alone. Right now I'm working step 1 again w/my new female sponsor. I'm happy to be doing it. I'm keeping my mind on the step at hand & not looking ahead.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Young women out there:

Yes, schedule your yearly physicals. Your docs or nurse practitioners can pick up on things we miss. The oncologist told my daughter that she is "a poster child for early detection & intervention."

DG: I hope Sister is OK. A mastectomy is such an assault on a person's body. It's so great that she was able to go w/you. A person really needs to have someone accompany her to the doc. It's stressful...even for a nun.

Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

Hi, everyone -

I got my 1 year chip at the birthday party last night! Yay!

I got there right as they started and was walking in with a woman from my group who someone else stopped in the front room. I was hanging around waiting for her, so I walked in just after they called my name. Then the ladies who know me are going, "There she is, go get your chip!" So I got it & didn't realize you get to (are supposed to?) talk at the podium (huh?). They said, "Would you like to say anything?" so I say, "Thank you!" and run back to my chair. After a few others got their chips, I realized I not only didn't say "I am an alcoholic," I didn't even say my name! :H It's OK - they were laughing with me, not at me! A few told me "that was so cute you ran in and ran up and ran back." OK now you guys know too what my personality is really like. This is what ADD looks like.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread Week of 8-23 to 8-29

OK, I posted that when I meant to preview it, so I'll keep going. One guy said something I liked a lot. He said the speaker meetings he likes the best are not the ones where they tell mostly of their drinking years, but when they tell how they are using the steps as part of life, right now, day to day.

Earlier that day someone mentioned hearing a speaker that didn't even go into her drinking days at all. Just about her life after. While I know hearing the old stuff is important (especially when you first get sober, so you really do get that these people get you), that sounds very positive and refreshing.

In a meeting I usually get a good mix of both, and need to remember we can relapse, but also of the hope when I see someone who radiates all the positives by living them. Different days I need different things.

There was a guy with 21 years who looked 21! Seriously! I found out he is actually in his 30s and quit as a teenager. There's another woman with 22 years, who said how old she'll be on her next birthday - she was 3 years older than me when she quit. Those I need to see - many are my age or a little older (or younger) and already have 10-15-20 years. Good to know you've got "peers" that stopped drinking at the same age as me. I don't know why, but it helps me somehow, gives me hope I guess.

Have a great week all - I've loved seeing your posts and read them every day, even when I don't post. :h