moderation: is it possible?

[cdauphne]

Is moderation possible long-term for alcoholics? This is the question I am seriously asking myself. Abstaining for a month or more is not a problem. The problem is wondering if my drinking will slowly inch up to too much / loss of control after a long period of moderation. Does moderation only work for "problem drinkers" - and who can really know if they are one or the other? I've gone to AA and hear way worse problems than mine, but I don't want to keep having the level of problems I have right now either.

[rebirth]

moderation: is it possible?

Hi cdauphne,
When I first joined AA I was determined that I could moderate. I had no intention of quitting for good.. I tried it and I would manage four days AL free at the most. But my weekend drinking was still dangerously over the limit and I would still blackout and embarass myself. I tried limiting my drinks when I allowed myself to drink but I just couldnt stop! There were so many occassions when I promised myself that I would take it easy and ended up blacking out.
After trying to moderate for just over a year unsuccessfully I handed in the towel. Thats when I fully accepted step one.
I dont think its possible for a heavy drinking to revert back to the time when they could take it or leave it..but thats just my opinion.

Have a great friday!

[Cinders]

moderation: is it possible?

No. Not for me, at least.

Cindi

[mario]

moderation: is it possible?

As a person who tried to control & moderate my drinking for years and was actually in denial for years that i was still in control of my drinking when i certainly was not, I think once you go past a certain stage there is no going back to social drinking or moderation,its just to much hard work always trying to control your intake, this is my personal opinion and i am sure some successful modders can give some better advice.:-)

[Guitarista]

moderation: is it possible?

Hi Cd,

Not possible for me at this point, if ever. Our thinking would need to shift dramatically, i reckon, even more than it does to stay sober (?). But i agree with Mario and RB that once we reach a serious level of regular heavy drinking, it would be very rare to be able to go back to drinking moderately. You will find out soon enough if you choose this path.

Best wishes, G.

[Sunbeam]

moderation: is it possible?

I was never a daily drinker, more of an abusive drinker on Sunday afternoons with some drinks on other days. I've been moderating for over two years following a 2-month abstinence period, but never really reached my goal of less than weekly drinking over an extended period of time. I've been a faithful poster on the Mod Squad, under Long Term Moderation. I never went back to where I was, but I've seen a gradual increase. Nearly my entire drinking record since joining MWO is available to you through Drink Tracker. Now, I'm tired of thinking about drinking, and recently started posting with the ODAT group. As I see it, moderate drinkers plan to drink again, ODAT people would really rather not drink, but may not be ready to say "never" yet.

[Guitarista]

moderation: is it possible?

Hi Sunbeam,

That's a good point you make re some folk's may not be ready to say 'never' yet. I can't say 'never' either, but that's okay, cause one thing i know about me is, it's best for me to abstain totally right now, and i'm kicking goal's in my life left right and centre because of it, plus lot's more benefit's, but i'm becoming more of the opinion that i'll remain abstinent for good, such are the reward's.

Best wishes on your journey, and nice to see you.

How are you going, CDauphne?

[Doggygirl]

moderation: is it possible?

:welcome: to the forum CDaphne. Moderation has never been possible for me either. When I originally came to My Way Out, that's really what I was hoping for, even though I publically grabbed the "abstinence" banner. In the end, I made a personal decision that I didn't want to take a prescription medication to help me moderate (and even then, it's not always successful). And I have many years of experience to show me that on my own, I cannot control my drinking at all.

On the "forever" front, here is something that helped me resolve it. I have no idea if I will ever drink again. Knowing what my consequences are, I sure hope not. Permanent abstinence is my goal. One thing I CAN say for sure. I can NEVER drink SAFELY. EVER. If I take the first drink, I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe it will be OK, but probably it won't. Given the progressive nature of this disease, I just have too much to lose. I may not have lost my house, drivers license and family by the time I decided to quit, but I had absolutely lost my soul. It was just a matter of time for the rest of it.

Do you know anyone for whom problem drinking has actually gotten better? Or do you only see the problems of problem drinkers getting worse over time? When I look back, the only way that I ever saw serious problem drinkers problems getting better was when they quit.

Strength and hope to you on your journey,

DG

[Pride before Fall]

moderation: is it possible?

Do you know anyone for whom problem drinking has actually gotten better? ... When I look back, the only way that I ever saw serious problem drinkers problems getting better was when they quit. >>

I have to agree with this, having experienced it myself many, many times and after reading through years of MWO posts.

I identify with the fear about never drinking again, of not being "normal"; and moderating makes sense (and is definitely healthier than continued heavy drinking) when we're in that mindset. But from what I've seen (and lived), it's a stepping stone, of varied length, to either abstinence or back to alcohol dependence. I have not seen people who were alcohol-dependent successfully stay permanently "in the middle."

Also, "I will have 2 drinks today, none on Tuesday, then 1 on Wednesday, and none on Thursday and Friday so I can have 2 on Saturday" still put AL at the center of my life (not to mention, after a few weeks or even months, 2 on Saturday would became "I lost count" on Saturday). On top of my view that it just won't work long term, thinking and planning around alcohol, no matter how much or little we drink, still puts alcohol at the center of our lives. I just don't want it there anymore.

[momof3]

moderation: is it possible?

What I am left with when reading these posts is that all of us have tried our hand at moderation. It seems like a step in the process toward becoming AF.

[Cherbear]

moderation: is it possible?

For me.. moderation was an exhausting mind obsession.. as AA puts it, merciless obsession. That I couldn't fight anymore. and as Pride put it. It was at the center of my thoughts and life no matter what I tried to tell myself differently. It wasn't worth it. and granted I occasionally feel sad that I can no longer drink , the calm I have in my thinking and mind is better than any glass of wine!!!!

[cpn1004]

moderation: is it possible?

Not for me.

[techie]

moderation: is it possible?

No, that's why I'm here!

[Lavande]

moderation: is it possible?

I have to honestly say NO not for me!
When I quit March 26, 2009 that was it for me. I'm not even remotely interested in trying to moderate now - why bother?

[Twitch]

moderation: is it possible?

I am trying to moderate at the moment, was doing quite well, then realised it was going up again, slowly but surely, will try to cut back down and stay at the level then but feel maybe I am kidding myself, I will just have to see.