AF Daily - Friday August 27

[Gaia]

Hello Abbies,

Lots of losses this week - I'm so sorry to hear about your dogs, M3 and Papmom. M3 your girls must be really broken up. And I know papillons are such affectionate dogs, I really am sorry for your loss.

Greenie and Lav - hugs to you both! I think it was the full moon which is putting lots of us in a funk. Not offering advice, just sending lots of support.

Uni you sound so great - I agree that your posts are a highlight of my day. I envy everything you are learning.

DG interesting reading about your time yesterday. I can't imagine that you will regret having 'told'. I think it's the strongest people who willingly admit their weaknesses. Once you embrace your issues no one can touch you. It strengthens the armor and repairs the chink.

Jewel this is a public post therefore it by definition is open to all. We are all at different stages of our recovery. There are no rules. There are all sorts of reasons one might react to a post or not. I for one feel so raw in my recovery that I cannot offer much advice to 'newbies' because I'm too close to the situation. I also do not feel much inclined to reach out to serial slippers because I've been there and I'm trying to get away from it. I know the games I played in my head and I have not patience for it at the moment. That does not mean I am not compassionate, but rather that I just choose to focus on myself first. I have to.

Well that's all for the moment.

With love,
T.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

OK I am literally running out the door and not to take away from the serious intent your post gaia......... but I admit to laughing out loud at the term "serial slippers". And I thank you for that. I surely needed it.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Good morning Fabbie Abbies and thank you Gaia for helping get us started. I really love that other thread you started about the beast. ME TOO!!! Amazing how we are from many different countries and walks of life, but alcoholism affects us in the same ways. I used to think it was different for me because I hadn't lost my house, drivers license and husband. What I see now is that I lost my soul first. What good is all the "stuff" (if we've still got it) without a healthy soul?

I still feel a bit random and not well caught up with everyone. Please accept my aplogies!

PAGuy, you are really handling this injury well. No pity party and no drinking. Good for you!!!!!

M3, how is your remodeling plan coming along?

:wavin: to Uni!! Hope you are looking forward to another great day of learning and healing. (even if it's an emotional one!)

P3 - how was the early walk? It WILL get easier to get up and get going! (really!)

Marshy, I am thinking of you and your Mom today. :l

Greenie, stay connected our friend.

Lav, you too. I hope everything with Mr. Lav works out OK. Please don't let him take your beautiful mojo from you.

Hi Cindi and Jewel and G and Pride and EVERYONE who aspires to be a Fabbie Abbie today. Or even just an Abbie if your mojo isn't quite right.

Today will be another busy one. I love them. Much easier for me to stay positive, stay AF, and stay on my Weight Watchers plan when I am movin' at the speed of light. Or sound. One of them. I used to get really stressed out trying to keep such a pace. But I'm learning to just stay in today and stay in the moment. That makes everything enjoyable and I don't really "feel" the weight of a full calendar when I'm just focusing on whatever is going on right now.

Even after sleeping on things, I don't regret mentioning my AA connection at the mission yesterday. The ony reason it was a concern at all is that the mission is also one of our biggest clients. And their list of donors who helped them make the family center a reality contains...you guessed it....many of our clients. Regardless of the many misperceptions out there about AA and about alcoholism, I am a proudly sober and productive person today. As part of the 12th step I want to "carry the message" of hope and recovery to the best of my ability. So possibly offering rides to AA meetings or something like that in the family center is a distinct possibility and a high percentage of the guests there are in recovery too, among other things. I may live to regret it someday, but I sort of doubt it. And I'm not going to worry about it that's for sure!

So for today.... Leads group, AA tough chicks meeting, let the dogs out, Curves, Mary Kay client appointment, serve in the mission kitchen, dinner with Mr. Doggy, then a hot shower and beddy bye. Maybe a little reading to see what sorts of Barbies turn up next.

One thing is for sure....there is absolutely NO room for AL in my life today. Strength and hope to all who might need a little extra of that today.

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Good Morning All,

Thanks for your sympathy over the loss of our cat. His litter mate, Garbriel is a bit lost without him these days so he is getting lots of love and cuddle time. We also have a Shi Tzu named Cupcake who is a very delightful little dog.

Gaia, I understand your feelings about supporting (or not supporting) those who continually fall off the wagon. It is still hard for me to read about someone who keeps slipping when they have stated they are committed to being AF. It brings back all of the memories and sadness from when I was still drinking. I am also inclined to be very no nonsense in my reply posts when someone continually slips and this may or may not go over well. Depending on the person/situation, I may not reply at all. Rather, I read and give my silent support.

DG, I loved reading your story about your work yesterday and how you disclosed your attendance at AA meetings. I think this is what we are here in this world to do...to share, connect, support, and love....soul to soul; heart to heart.

Greenie, Lav, Marshy, Where aaaare youuuuuu? Come out, come out wherever you are.

Cindi, Hope you are doing well. How is your travel schedule these days? How is that new grandbaby doing?

P3, I loved reading your posts about how the spirit of your previous animals that have passed lives in your current ones.

Paguy...stay strong.

Hello to all to come. Happy AF day...the only way to be!!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

GM Abbers!

I'm here, where else do I have to go?????
I am well rested, grateful to be AF, doing my best to enjoy all the positives in my life! The trouble is I haven't been able to completely tune out Mr Negative - grrr! I suppose this situation with him is my big test. I will not fail - I'm telling you that now!! I will not fail!!!!

M3, so sorry about your cat friend......they are such an important part of the family. I still keep myself surrounded by pictures of my best friend, a Golden who passed away 6 years ago, I miss him.

Thank you Gaia for looking after me & greenie too! Hugs are always appreciated

Greenie - Gaia's comment about the 'serial slippers' really caught my eye too! That is the primary reason I stopped posting in the Newbies Nest. It hurts to see some people making the same mistakes over & over & over.

DG, you are a strong & brave soul - good for you reaching out to help others!

Paguy, hope you make some progress with your new Doc.

Marshy, thinking about you & your Mum. God, my Mom has been gone for nearly 24 years now & I stll miss her so much! You have to love them & hold them close while they are still here.

Greetings to eveyone who stops in today - I'll probably be back later.
Have a good Friday!

Lav

[Gaia]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Hey M3 sorry to confuse your cat with a dog! Losing a cat means just as much.

Lav you go girl get your BGP and put 'em on! You too Greenie!

Marshy hope to hear news from you too!

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Serial slippers (n.): 1. Scuffs made out of Cheerios. 2. People who slip on spilled Cheerios; (alt.) the Cheerios on which people slip.

Seriously, that's not a phrase anyone would want on a t-shirt, and I admit I feel the same anxious irritation with it here that I did when my kids were toddlers and ran repeatedly toward into the road. Like Gaia, I also know it has more to do with fear about my own ability to stick to sobriety after numerous past attempts rather than judgment on others' failures.

I feel strong, calm, and resigned about quitting now, very different from the "hope I can do this" "will try to do this" attempts in the past, and it's healthier for me at 1-1/2 months sober to hear from people who have racked up months and years alcohol-free than those with months and years on and off the wagon. It just makes me too anxious.

There's a quiet, rationalization-free wisdom in the long-term sober people that I finally feel I "get", that I need, and that I want to share with others at or about the same point in the road as me. I wish everyone who's been struggling long-term the best, and I'm sorry I don't have the words that will help you turn the corner permanently. I'm pretty convinced those words come from inside us at this point, though, not on a message board (although I also believe support and shared experience are critical).

That's not saying "don't post on MWO!" it's saying "I'm sorry, right now I can't help you. I have to help myself."

Much love and compassion to all,

Pride

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Doggygirl;945169 wrote:
M3, how is your remodeling plan coming along?

DG

DG, We are moving fast and furious. I don't remember if I mentioned what we are doing. We are building out for a family room and we are redesigning the kitchen. We have a little itty bitty kitchen (I call it the ghetto kitchen) and we are expanding out to where the dining room currently is. Old small family room will become the dining room. We are also adding a deck and a screen porch.

Yesterday, I spent 3 hours working on the second phase of design and layout of the kitchen and selecting cabinets, etc. I had no idea that there were people who could help you with this stuff at a nominal fee until you mentioned it. Duh! It seems too late at this point because it would take some time to find someone and it would hold up construction. Dare I say that I am beginning to enjoy it?

In my old drunken days, I would be hiding under my bed with 2 bottles of wine by now. Now, I am making one decision after another with barely a blink of the eye. It is keeping me up late at night though because I cannot get it out of my mind. I have a notepad at my bedside table. I am happy that we are leaving for 1 week at the beach next week. It is our last hurrah before school begins and a welcome break from all of the construction stuff.

M3

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Gaia;945251 wrote: Hey M3 sorry to confuse your cat with a dog! Losing a cat means just as much.

No worries Gaia, I appreciate you reaching out to me.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Pride, We must have cross posted earlier.

1 1/2 months AF! Well done. Keep up the good work. And yes, there is a certain peace and clear headedness that comes with each day of being AF. The endless inner chatter and mind games around alcohol cease to exist. You are on your way.

M3

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Hey all!
Hi Gaia-I'm happy to inform everyone that my paps are alive and healthy!! I too was talking about my 2 cats who died almost 10 years ago but are never forgotten. I do appreciate the support however as I can still visulize their last moments with me.
I also have little patience for those "serial slippers". I slipped twice since I began my journey and was given tough love by some members of MWO, as well as support and I finally "got it". I hope I am able to be the same way to those who are really trying but when they "slip" time and time again it makes me angry. And yet I know I shouldn't get angry and I don't know why I do? Is it because they are not keeping their word? I have been doing the same as M3-not responding and offering silent prayer that they find their own MWO.
OK enough.
Lav-hang in there. You will find your own way of dealing with FH and because you are a very strong woman, what will come of all this will will be a better life for sure.
Oooh, M3-what a major remodel you are taking on!! Don't envy you there but I bet it will be gorgeous when done.
Pride-very nice post. I think you hit the nail on the head.
DG-the morning walk was great!! We have a lot in common and i'm looking forward to getting to know her better. Can't believe we've been neighbors for over 10 years and have barely said hi!!
Marshy-thinking of you and your mom. Hope all is well.
Rusty-are you winging your way home by now?
I guess I should get some work done before I leave today so off I go.
:l

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Hey ho,
where'd the day go?

Business day over in 2 hours and I still have much to do.

M3 I'm sorry about your kitty moving on... you certainly gave it a good transition. :h One day I was talking to Rhonda Lenair and she asked about a very close GF by name. She asked what happened to her dog and roughly described him. The dog was recently killed by a car; GF still heartily grieving. Rhonda told me to be sure to tell her that her dog was all around her in spirit - that she would literally trip over him if he had physical form. Stressed that she needed to know that. So I dutifully told her and she was overwhelmed with relief - a confirmation that what she thought she could feel was real. Isn't that a nice story?

FH gave me an envelope yesterday that he says contains a 6 page letter to me. From what he said, I gather it contains his feelings about what things are wrong with me and that I need to work on. Let me tell you something girlfriends and dudefriends, the only thing wrong with that picture is that I still allow any contact at all. What BALLS!! I feel a campfire coming on and no, I'm not reading it first.

I went to the doggie park yesterday evening and enjoyed it.

Passing around a virtual box of assorted hugs and stuff - reach in and grab what you need. I've got to zoom off again and one thing is for sure!!!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

:yay: A Campfire - I love campfires :yay:

I have a bag of oversized white & pink marshmallows in my pantry.
Can I come? :H:H

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Greenie, Just a beautiful story about Rhonda Lenair--amazing woman. Thanks for sharing it.

Isn't it nice that you FH keeps sending messages in various forms that you did the right thing by divorcing him?

Good for you for not reading it. Be done with it!!

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Friday August 27

Greeting's Fab Abberoonies'!

I'm sorry to hear about your cat M3. Loss of a pet is devastating. Take care of yourself.
Lav, you asked, 'where else would i be?' Well, Paris my dahling! :h
Hello Jewel, jump in!
Have you taken any holiday's yet DG, since being af? Just curious. And my question is, how would you go with some free time, and doing absolutely nothing? When i took my first break from work/busy sober routine, a 3 week break, i was hesitant, but it worked out ok. I was busier than i thought anyway. I have another 3 weeks hol's starting soon, and i'm far less concerned about all that free, me time. Am really looking forward to it. This is a question for everybody too, if y'all'd like to chime in? (threw me serial slipper's away 22 months ago )

A safe, sober, and magical weekend everyone!