Weekly AA Thread 8/30-9-5

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 8/30-9-5

Hi again. I really like the Hazelden message today:

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

She had trouble defining herself independently of her husband, tried to talk to him about it, but he said nonsense, he had no trouble defining her at all.
--Cynthia Propper Seton

To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out.

Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage - both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence.

Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

The book of daily meditations mentioned is the book we get our readings from at the Friday tough chick meetings. (instead of what is more common in these parts - Daily Reflections and/or 24-Hours a day.) The readings are geared towards women.

Well, I'm off to speak!

DG

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread 8/30-9-5

DG: I loved that H reading too!! I can really relate.. I lost myself while drinkng, just trying to appease others and then bitterly isolating with drinking. Just the other night my husband asked where I wanted to go to dinner and before I always said where ever you want.... blah blah and that night I said I want chinese ! which I know is NOT his favorite at all but he was so happy that I was honest.. I mentioned that I would never do that before when I was drinking.. he said he would get angry when I always said "where ever you want".. so goes the journey. Hope your speakers meeting went well!! I sent positive vibes your way. )

Mary; I'm glad you guys are aware that the chemo can definetly cause cancer related fatigue. I am a Physical therapist and work in a hospital. we see alot of people that even long after their treatments are done they have the fatigue and think they shouldn't have it anymore, but it is very real and She needs to adjust her activities based on that and not to beat herself up if she still feels that way even after treatment is done.!!! We have a once a month potluck at our home meeting and It is such a great way to visit without the formality of the meetings. I finally got a service position making coffee.!!
And I did some writing on my 4th step last night. Our woman's meeting yesterday was on the 9th step which is of course related to the 4th.
Your story of the drunk person coming in.. the desparation, that is why the meetings are so very important to our sobriety because it keeps me grounded in why I want to not pick up that first drink.
Those kinds of meetings really quiet the commitee of voices that still creep up.

Have great day everyone.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 8/30-9-5

Rebirth - yes you can order coins from the internet. Lots of other stuff too. I was reading on a site where I bought a necklace with the recovery symbol that AA does not own the rights to that symbol. (the circle with the triangle in it symbolising unity, recovery and service). I guess it came up at some point (trademarking it) and the group conscience ended up being to NOT pursue the trademark. This way anyone can legally make coins or T-shirts or jewelry or whatever. And AA is not distracted (with trademark management / manufacturing or approving stuff, etc.) from it's primary purpose. I think that is so cool. That symbol has very wide recognition within AA as "AA" and yet nobody owns it - not even AA. To me another remarkable facet of the traditions and how the organization is *not run*.

Mary, I'm so glad that your daughter made it through the week in one piece. I hope she is able to get lots of rest this weekend. I think that is great you are hosting a pot luck. I need to consider doing that sort of thing. Especially a pot luck - everyone contributes a little something and it's not a huge burden on any one person. I could host something like that easily. After the remodeling project, somebody nag me, OK?

I haven't experienced it too many times but have had a few occassions to witness a very drunk (or high, or both) person in meetings. The circumstances have been varied. A couple of times the person was majorly out of it and not only disruptive but violent. I have watched some of the men subdue a thrashing person until the ambulence could get there. It must be difficult for them to remain calm and only use what force is necessary to maintain safety for all - not lash back at someone who is lashing at them. On the occassions this has happened, it has been a person who not only suffers from alcoholism but also mental illness. Alcohol, not taking the right meds, and possibly taking some wrong meds does crazy things to a person. Even at this extreme, I have only seen empathy from the people around the table.

On the occassions where someone has just been drunk, it has gone in my neck of the woods much like Mary described. I recall one time where a couple of the guys ended up taking the person out of the meeting and to another room to talk.

But for the grace of God there go I indeed.

I am getting more comfortable speaking. As I gain more experience with the Steps it is becoming easy to shift more of the focus to the Step work and shorten up the "how it was" part. Just enough "how it was" so it's clear I have the same affliction as everyone else in the room (the alcoholics at any rate) is plenty for that part.

Sponsee #2 is back living in another part of the state - she was offered a job there. So she didn't move here after all (she was staying with family while sorting out the work situation.) She has another sponsor now who is local to her and I am happy for her. She was in town this weekend for the holiday and came to the meeting. Her parents were with her (it was an open meeting) and her Mom participated in the comments. I'm sure it was good for her parents to hear the raw truth of "how it is" for us. As usual, several people from my home groups showed up to support me, despite the fact it's a holiday weekend and this was very short notice. Makes me appreciate the fellowship more every time this happens. I also realize I am getting to know a lot of people in the fellowship outside of my own usual meetings. I am happy to know these people.

There are two relapses still in progress from my home group. (it's a big home group but still....) It is heartbreaking to know these people are out there and one in particular just has so much pride she won't come back to the table - at least not yet. I hope she finds her way back before she dies.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 8/30-9-5

Cher: Thank you so much for your advice about the cancer med. I'm going to keep mentioning this to Patty, as she puts alot on herself in terms of productivity. She's got 5 years of this, & eventually her body will learn to tolerate it. But, until then, she needs to take it easy when she feels herself giving out.

The potluck turned out so well. I decided not to even tell people what to bring. I practiced the Let Go Let God adage. The table looked like I had planned it all: a pasta dish w/meat, a pasta dish w/shrimp, a salad, a veggie, etc. We did it preceding a meeting, so everyone helped clean up & off we went.

Tonight's BB meeting was the very last story. It dealt w/the whole concept of dealing w/life on life's terms...very applicable to anyone's life...especially those like myself who drank myself through every crisis.

Mary

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread 8/30-9-5

Hi everyone,

The topic at my home group this Sat. was "change." I immediately thought, so many changes have occurred in the short period since my sobriety date. But I chose to talk about the relationship with my son. He's been talking to me more, "hanging out" with me, being affectionate (as much as a 12 year old boy can be) and this is such a wonderful feeling for me. He always knew when I was drunk. Always said, "Mom, you're drunk again." I'm feeling that he loves me, and nothing feels so good, especially not being loaded.

Married, good luck with all your endeavors! That's a lot on your plate. What classes are you taking? Try to balance things out. I know that's hard, but don't be too hard on yourself.

Rebirth, menopause can happen from early 40's to late 50's (I think!). I haven't gotten there yet, but I suspect changes are going on that are leading to this phase of life.

DG, when did you start speaking? That's great you have the support of your home group. I went to listen to one of our girls from home group speak last week. She was grateful for the support, and I can imagine that when I get to that point, I'd love to have that support, too. How many times have your spoken? How does it feel afterwards? Sorry, so many questions!

Mary, I'm glad to hear your daughter made it through that first week. That's so draining, and on top of that, I'm sure she's feeling the affects of the medicine. I know after my first week, I was drained, without chemo. Glad your potluck went well!

Have a great day.