AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

[Marshy]

Hello everyone,

I feel a topic coming on from yesterday's thread! Gratitude v deprivation.

Papmom, It's great that you've sorted things out with your sister. I agree that she probably doesn't really understand but "normal" drinkers often don't, and we've often hidden the worst of our behaviour so our friends/family haven't necessarily seen the drunken, dribbling mess that we were.

It might be worth reiterating to her that you will be able to attend family get-togethers again when you feel stronger, you just need some time to get to that position. Has she ever smoked? You could equate it to giving up smoking and not being able to be around smokers for a while (I find people often understand that more - they know smoking is an addiction but can't necessarily see that alcohol is an addiction for some of us).

The whole gratitude thing can be tough. Most of the time I know that being AF is better for me in every single way but I still get the occasional wobble. One night last week I was very tired and stressed and was really annoyed with myself that I'd let my drinking get so far out of hand that I can no longer drink - because if I hadn't I could have had a couple of beers to relax. Really warped thinking. Especially as I've never had "a couple" of beers in my life.

But you get through those times and come out the other side knowing you're doing the best thing for yourself and everyone around you. But I agree, it can be difficult sometimes to get your head in the right place. I don't like all the jargon at AA but "fake it till you make it" has carried me through the occasional tough spot.

Oh, and I agree with your sister that you're doing great!

M3 - I hope you're out safely!

Greenie - I'll have a look at that link later. I'm at work now and they expect me to, well, work. Outrageous! I don't remember signing up for that.

Thanks everyone for the good wishes for my mum. I'm looking forward to seeing how she is at home this weekend. It'll be the first time I've seen her out of hospital for ages so I'm thinking it might be easier to judge how she's doing in an environment I'm used to seeing her in.

Have a good day all!

(Belated sandwich warning).

[Guitarista]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Greeting's Marshy, Fab abber's, bald headed babies, and guest's.
(sandwich warning)

Gratitude vs. deprivation. One of my favourite subject's! I had similar thought's the other day too Marshy, about drinking. A flash of a thought really, like, 'well, one day i could take up drinking again, you know Gman, just a couple of wines, and that's it. You'll be right'. He he....No, i wouldn't stop at 'a couple'. why would i? I like the buzz, and i'd be going for that numb feeling, i know. Of course, if i could just do that say, once in a blue moon, then fine, but i'd be waking up with a sore head, guilty, regretful, depressed, anxious, negative, drag myself to work, and then very likely be back into it, swearing moderation that night. That would last about 1/2 week's if that, before back into the old routine.

It's good to know this about myself, as you could appreciate! :H

I am so grateful that i've had the patience to stick it out. Especially getting to 1 year. That really is a huge landmark/signpost. Still early day's, but an important event. I find af life, or rather, my journey, and my version of af life, is becoming more and more revealing in all sort's of way's. So many 'first's'! I am a big kid by nature, but i really am like a kid in the candy store of life. I see the benefit of trying to have a child like view of the world, in some way's. Don't get me started on Gratitude vs. deprivation now!

A safe, sober, and magical week to everyone!

[paguy]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Good Morning Folks:

Marshy ? I find the topic ?gratitude vs. deprivation? to be a very interesting one. Whenever I feel like I am being ?deprived? because I am not drinking alcohol, I ask the question, ?What am I being deprived of?? And, the answers that I come back with are: ?I?m depriving myself of? lost weekends?. sleepless nights? unending guilt and anxiety? conflicts in my relationships?. high blood pressure?? And, I have to admit those feelings of deprivation immediately turn to gratitude!

M3 ? Sorry you and your family are disappointed about shortening your vacation but I hope you are safe now!

G - Knowing that you have achieved the 1-year milestone must be an incredible feeling. That is awesome - Congratulations! BTW - I read on another thread that you are a runner. I run also but am side-lined right now due to an injury. But, I will be back!!

To all that follow ? hope you all have a great day!

[Gaia]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Hello Fabbies!

Marshy thanks for the great topic to start the day. I think about that all the time. I feel gratitude before and after, but not always during. I am hoping that the deprivation minutes shrink and shrink into nothing. I tell myself that it will just take time.

Gman I enjoy hearing about your outlook after one year, you big kid! Has your music changed since being sober for this long?

HI Paguy, countdown to your surgery. I'll be asking myself "what am I being deprived of?" next time hubbie opens a bottle of wine.

Do y'all think I DESERVE a massage because I'm saving money by not drinking???????

M3 hope the trip home goes ok. I heard on the radio about people complaining about leaving, and saying "well it better be a big storm!" I think there's some perspective missing there. I lived through Katrina and Rita in 2005 with direct effects on my life from each and I'll tell you risking your life for a hurricane is simply not worth it.

Papmom thank you for sharing the dialogue with your sister. You are lucky to have a sister with whom you can share such things! Celebrate that my dear. You will always have her and it's wonderful to see your communication.

Hi all other Abbies!

[Hippy Chick]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Evening all.

Last week I realised I have spent the last 9 months feeling deprived. That is why I have gained three kilos because I have replaced alcohol with chocolate/cakes/lollies/ice cream..... I didnt eat alot of that sort of food til I gave up drinking. But because I couldnt have what I really wanted, I replaced it with crap to make me feel "better".
But now I am feeling half human again (dont ya just love anti depressants) I am spring cleaning my diet and chucking out all the bad things and replacing them with healthy foods. It's time to deal with problems rather than try to numb myself and avoid feeling things.
I am feeling strong for the first time in a long time and am ready to face what life chucks at me!

Hope you are all feelling good too.

Hipster

[Guitarista]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Thank's John!

1 year is an incredible milestone for us all, indeed. I'm coming up to 2 yrs. af in October, so i'm excited about that too. Yep, i'm a runner too, a plodder really, but it's great isn't it? Hard to describe to non runner's! Safe and speedy healing with your injury, and yes, you'll be back!

Great going on your af time. Stay on the path, as it just get's better and better.

Greg.

[Gaia]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Hi Hipster,

First of all, congratulations on 9 months AF. That is a great milestone. You know when making big changes I think it's important to focus on one thing at a time. 3 kilos isn't SO much that with some effort you can take care of it. And think how much healthier you are on the inside!

[Guitarista]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Hiya Gaia and HC! xx

Gaia, i found it too difficult to play my own music for many many month's when newly af. Too much emotion/stories/memories/trigger's attached, and it would rattle me. Now, however, i love it, and i embrace those emotion's/memories/stories and they aren't trigger's anymore. They are what they are......life. My life, and that's okay. So i am so much stronger and happier in my music making, and in my life since stopping boozing. It took a little while to get to this point, and i had to have patience, but i stayed on the path, and the magic slowly started to happen. I think patience is a big factor.

I hope all's well!

[Guitarista]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

HC.

Great attitude! Are you 9 mths af today?

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Morning fabbies!!

I'm grateful for you all!

[Guitarista]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Morning Greenie! :h

[Gaia]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Greenie the Queenie!

Goddesses rule!

[Gaia]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

(feeling strangely lighthearted today - I must be nuts!)

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

Mornin' Fabbies! Thanks for getting us going today Marshy and thanks for such a great topic. Gratitude. I have plenty of reason for that. I am learning along the way that I CAN choose my thoughts and when I fell that pity party comin' on, it's up to me to change the channel.

The subject of pity parties came up in the AA meeting I attended yesterday. Something somebody said got me thinking about my circumstances in the last couple of years of my drinking. I was so miserable and depressed I thought about suicide a LOT and even had a plan (pills). Mega pity party. I realized yesterday that the basic circumstances of my life are exactly the same today as they were then:

* Same husband
* Same family
* Same house
* Same car
* Same job

You get the drift. Today I love my life and overall I am for the most part, living in contentment. What changed? Well, it's pretty obvious it was an inside job.

I realize that many people end up in far worse circumstances than I did. So this is just a reflection upon my own journey. The BIG difference between a life of misery and constant feeling of deprivation, and a life of happiness and gratitude is ME and the changes in the spiritual, emotional and physical components.

Don't get me wrong - I have my moments where I have to give myself a shake and tell myself to knock it off. But overall, this is where I am in my sober journey and I couldn't be more grateful about that.

Marshy, I like that "fake it 'til you make it" saying too. That got me through a lot of situations until it started feeling real. Whatever "it" is.

I have to run but wanted to say quickly that Marshy I hope you enjoy your time with Mom and that you are reassured she is comfortable and doing the best possible under the circumstances. Safe travels to M3 and family, and good vibes to whoever needs one today!

I'm off to Community Leadership school, Council for Working Women Lunch (a really amazing woman is being honored with an award today), and volunteer work at the family center. And to think there was a time when in my own manufactured pity party of misery, I would skip all of the above and be drinking vodka already. Not today, that's for sure.

DG

[Hippy Chick]

AF daily - Thursday, Sept 2nd

My journey started on 7th January this year.

I didnt touch a drink until June 20th as I wanted to see if I could moderate while we were on holidays. I had about four days of moderate drinking during which time I didnt get drunk or blackout or do any of the other things I did every time I drank before. I stopped before we came back home.

So I cant really say I havent had a drink in that 9 months, however I can say I havent been pissed in all that time.

I dont regret the few drinks I had because it taught me so much about where I am now and it dispelled alot of myths I had built up. But not sure when I can say is my anniversary now!

so my journey continues.......