Wakey wakey!
Greenie we didn't hear your JACKRABBIT this month??? Or did I miss it?
Any of you have this happen? Intermittent anger? (warning - painful post)
Two days ago, DH calls from a business trip and totally tears me apart. He for some reason reviewed some of his old thoughts from 4 months ago and his anger welled unconcontrollably and he ripped me to shreds. He said he's a putz for staying with me, that he was stupid not to leave.
I was just starting to trust him again, to allow myself to enjoy being with him and to show love. In fact, just the day before I sent him an email of love just to send cheer while he was away and working really hard. Now I feel like I don't want him to touch me.
He did call early the next morning, not to say sorry, but to say his anger came up and that he should try harder to put the past behind him. He said he loves me with all his heart, but how can he really feel this way if he's so cruel? Of course, he says "it's not cruel if it's true."
He also accused me of hacking into his computer to delete a specific email that he sent me 4 months ago. He said it was a question, not an accusation, but it sure feels like an accusation to me. He said he was able to retrieve his email (probably by contacting his 'friends' who advised him to leave me and told him he's a putz for staying with me). Guess he just wanted to read it for old times sake.
His rages are terrible to witness. I know that past is gone forever and I must forgive but I am back on uncertain grounds with him again. It's a pity. Now my guard is up again.
Sadly,
T.
Greenie we didn't hear your JACKRABBIT this month??? Or did I miss it?
Any of you have this happen? Intermittent anger? (warning - painful post)
Two days ago, DH calls from a business trip and totally tears me apart. He for some reason reviewed some of his old thoughts from 4 months ago and his anger welled unconcontrollably and he ripped me to shreds. He said he's a putz for staying with me, that he was stupid not to leave.
I was just starting to trust him again, to allow myself to enjoy being with him and to show love. In fact, just the day before I sent him an email of love just to send cheer while he was away and working really hard. Now I feel like I don't want him to touch me.
He did call early the next morning, not to say sorry, but to say his anger came up and that he should try harder to put the past behind him. He said he loves me with all his heart, but how can he really feel this way if he's so cruel? Of course, he says "it's not cruel if it's true."
He also accused me of hacking into his computer to delete a specific email that he sent me 4 months ago. He said it was a question, not an accusation, but it sure feels like an accusation to me. He said he was able to retrieve his email (probably by contacting his 'friends' who advised him to leave me and told him he's a putz for staying with me). Guess he just wanted to read it for old times sake.
His rages are terrible to witness. I know that past is gone forever and I must forgive but I am back on uncertain grounds with him again. It's a pity. Now my guard is up again.
Sadly,
T.
inkele:
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