Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Hi again. The meeting this morning was so relevant for me and for some recent topics 'round and about MWO. Wish I could have taped the whole thing for sharing!

Tuesday at home group is Open Topic. One of my friends chairs and if nobody has a topic to suggest, she always has a good one for the group.

The scenario we started with was hers. Her husband was out of town for the weekend at a family party. They really party when they party (they are normies though) so she didn't feel is was a good thing for her to go. She stayed home but also accepted an invitation to a wedding. She ended up being seated at a "singles" table since her husband was not with her, and they were...guess what...partying big. She ended up leaving early and taking a cab home (she is restricted in her driving due to DUIs). She didn't drink. But she also did not enjoy the weekend.

This scenario was similar to my weekend in a few ways. My husband was gone for the weekend at dog training. That can be a pretty significant drinking event and so I opt out of that, especially since it's not my hobby personally and I don't care to sit around spectating with heavy drinkers around. So I stayed home. Mr. D and I were invited to a neighbor's kid's wedding reception. I opted not to go to that. I had a comfortable weekend and my friend did not, even though our circumstances were similar. Neither one of us like being around drinking, and in particular heavy drinking.

One of the topics discussed was discomfort around drinking. Is this normal? Is this OK? Should we feel "weak" or something because we don't like to be around AL? The consensus among the older timers was that it is NORMAL for us to feel uncomfortable around AL period. What is NORMAL for us is to drink AL when we are around AL. To be around AL and NOT drink is really NOT normal for us. We are forcing it to be the new norm, but it's really OK if it never gets totally comfortable. (in other words, I'm not a weak person for not liking to be around AL).

We also talked about using the tools of the program heavily when we ARE in situations where we have to be around AL. Meetings (even when on the road), literature, phone calls, prayer and meditation. During this part of the discussion I realized that part of what made my weekend very comfortable in addition to declining the wedding reception was staying connected to AA (and of course I have a double weapon with MWO). I went to meetings Saturday and 2 on Sunday. When I am strongly connected I really do not feel as vulnerable to AL.

Gosh it's so hard to try to re-express this stuff in writing when it was so much more powerful live!! My most important take away was just feeling better about the fact that I really don't like to be around drinking any more.

Hope everyone is having a good day..

DG

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

DG I sometimes think you are a mind reader?!
I was just thinking about my uneasyness around drinkers and whether it's an indication of weakness or strength. I was driving myself nuts with this thought and then there is your post on this particular subject.

Tell you what , I am SO GLAD you are on here. Your posts definitely puts alot of sense and clarity to my confused brain.

My partner got very drunk last saturday and it has affected me much more than I thought. His drinking has reduced alot in the past three months but he just decided to get get drunk that night. His company as you can imagine was very annoying. He kept repeating himself, slurring his words etc. I just dont know what to think about this. I have told him in the past that I cant be around heavy drinkers but it seems he has forgotten. I am not expecting him to remmber all the time as it's me who has the problem but I am thinking of telling him not to see me when he wants to get in that state. And sticking to my guns with it.

DG i did something awful today. My head was in such a bad place three hours ago. I ended up going to the supermarket and buying a bottle of AF wine. I have been told by many that it could possibly trigger my drinking again but it still didnt stop me..I was just screaming inside and wanted something as close to drink.Plus I am very curious and I always wondered how AF wine would affect me. I knew I was playing with my sobriety but I still couldnt help myself.

I drank a couple of glasses and luckily it had no buzz to it and tasted awful. I poured the rest down the sink. I actuelly feel better for it because my fixation of AF wine has come to a close. But my GOD! I need to work this program better. I am still very very vunerable. I thought that it would get easier and it does in a way..but how quickly you can let this addiction talk yourself into something.Cunning..

Really scary. I couldnt get to a meeting tonight because I couldnt get a babysitter ( dont live with my BF). But just writing my thoughts in this post is making me feel much better. Gosh that was a close call.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Rebirth, it's amazing how that works - somebody will post about something that has been on my mind. The Universe at work.

I found AF wine to be completely Bleh way back when as well. I'd much rather treat myself to a Diet Cherry Coke over crushed ice. Or a milk shake. Or a cranberry & soda with lime. Or or or. But sometimes we have to try it just to see. At least the AF wine will not have power over your thoughts any more.

Some in AA have strong opinions about AF wine/beer as it is not totally alcohol free. Just thought I'd mention that in case you have not come across that issue yet.

I think it's good that you are dating your partner and not living together for now. This gives you time to date and see how things go with his drinking and with your feelings about it. It may work out fine with him drinking some. He may decide to stop. You may decide you'd rather be with a non-drinker. At least in this situation you have options!

Well, I think I'm going to close down my office a little early today and watch a movie.

DG

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Dg I knew that Af wine has a tiny trace of alcohol.. thats why I was a bit shocked at my behaviour. But it will be okay. Just need to keep myself in check.
Have a good night. Off to bed too

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Good morning.
Had a terrible dream last night..I was trying to run away from alcohol. So glad that it wasnt real.
Anyway I feel so much better today. I tackled a very strong urge yesterday and I am so happy that I didnt slip!

Happy hump day all. x

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

hi everyone,i thot id see whats goin on at AA,here,hahahha,i like following this thread,i dont always contibute and i dont ever try to knock what your doin,and most of all i am glad the AA way works for you folks,i no from my xperiences at AA,many said you have to find wht works ,and it mite not be AA,the struggles will never go away,life will just be calmer,i beleive bob and biil would be proud to see how far AA has come,not in the increase of addicted people,that what they created years ago has been a starting of a revolution of hope,and reading your threads,i see some are struggling and many have got it,some people cant drink, thnx gang gyco

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Everyone: I'm going to FL to see my mother in a few hours & thought I'd check in one last time. I went to a speaker meeting last night & heard from a guy I had seen before. Every day he seems to get calmer & more serene. He had quite a story...everything from car accidents, losing his family, a suicide attempt, to now regaining what he lost. It was a great talk.

I feel grateful that I can be of help to my mother. She was greatly affected by my daughter's cancer diagnosis & is in real need of consolation & company. It's hard leaving Patty (harder than my husb & g-kids even), but she says she'll be fine. She has her Dad to pitch in as needed. She's doing fine in school...HP gave her a very nice class this year. She's just more tired than she'd normally be.

Anyhow, so long for now. I'll be in touch when I get home.

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Just saying hello to you all while am here,
my update.... im on my step4 i think i need my big girl pants on for this one i dont want to miss nothing out so im going back to my childhood never knew i had resentment of places where things have happen to me, my sponsor said put everything down does not matter how small they are, names places. Just need to be on my own in my own space where i can think....... My step3 was emotional we said the pray and lit a candle in my sponsor house and i could feel that light inside me feeling warm, and than after a few days we when to a church and said the step 3 pray and also lit a candle.
I also go to my big book study i loved it, we read a chapter and share, i also go to the woman group AA where they do big book study and they read a few lines and we share i really love this one because i can look at every word that i can relate to underline it and share about it.
my spiritual growth is growing i can feel it inside me in every part of my body also my spiritual awakening is there sometimes it in stops and starts just need to open my eyes more.
my home group i love, i feel i talk about my feelings and they understand me and i am going crazy....my sponsor said i should be ready to do a main share in october, let you all know if that does happen dont like being behind a desk in front of people its ok being in the crown now and sharing but it different story being behind a desk .
gyco i to believe bill and bob would be proud to see how far and how much people this pragram has help so many people.
God bless to you all keep safe.:l

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Rebirth, so glad you are starting this day fresh and positive! It's amazing how we really CAN just ride out these urges to drink and also these rough days and get through to a new day and a calmer state of mind. When I think about the occassional urges I have and compare that amount of time to the GOOD time I have - urge free, grateful, and enjoying life, the bad times are really small. Nothing worth drinking over.

Mary, it is so wonderful to watch others grow in sobriety isn't it? I don't always see the changes in me but it's great to see them in others, and then have faith that they really are happening in me as well. Travel safely!

gyco, good to see you as always. I had that feeling very strongly in San Antonio during the Big Meetings in the Alamo dome - wondering if Dr. Bob and Bill W could *see* how AA has grown and helped so many people. I think it was Bill who expressed at one point a goal of having an AA meeting available anywhere in the world you might go. Are we getting close? (Phil? )

I'm so glad I got to go to a meeting this morning. It was uplifting as usual and makes me feel like my head is on straight for the day. I also enjoyed the readings on-line today and like this one in particular:

As Bill Sees It

Prayer Under Pressure, p.250

Whenever I find myself under acute tensions, I lengthen my daily
walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my
steps and breathing.

If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try
to repeat, "God grant me the serenity to love their best, and
never fear their worst." This benign healing process of repetition,
sometimes necessary to persist with for days, has seldom failed to
restore me to at least a workable emotional balance and
perspective.

Grapevine, March 1962

The serenity prayer really does work for me and when I remember to say it when needed, I'm willing to say it again and again and again and again - it has always worked for me if I say it enough times!

Travel safely and soberly today..

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Greetings all,
DG I only travel the USA so I don't know the "world" reach of AA. You do recall flag night in San Antonio, all those different countries with AA. That was impressive.

I returned from Cedar Rapids, IA tonight. I went to a "happy "hour" meeting there last night. Once again I was blown away by the reach of AA. I have to be very selfish about my sobriety. For me that means lots of meetings. I'm so grateful they have been easy to find in my travels.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Hi guys I was wondering if anyone could explain the difference in the various AA meetings and where to start. I copied this from their website and am a little confused. Thanks in advance.

Open (O) AA Meetings – These meetings are open to ALL who may or may not have an alcoholic problem.
Otherwise meetings are 'Closed' and restricted to alcoholics and those who have, or think they have, a drinking problem
Step (S), Tradition (T) and Big Book (BB).

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

KTAB;955870 wrote: Hi guys I was wondering if anyone could explain the difference in the various AA meetings and where to start. I copied this from their website and am a little confused. Thanks in advance.

Open (O) AA Meetings – These meetings are open to ALL who may or may not have an alcoholic problem.
Otherwise meetings are 'Closed' and restricted to alcoholics and those who have, or think they have, a drinking problem
Step (S), Tradition (T) and Big Book (BB).
Hi KTAB. I will be happy to take a stab at it and I'm sure others can add their comments too.

Open meetings are like it says - open to anyone whether they have a desire to stop drinking or not. (or have a drinking problem or not). Most of the "open" meetings on the schedule in my area are speaker meetings. This means the meeting is opened with a reading or two, then a main speaker is introduced. That person tells their story - how it was, what happened, and how it is now offering their experience strength and hope to others. Usually after the speaker is finished, there will be time for comments from other meeting attendees. Usually people will comment on similarities they found in the story.

There are a couple other open meetings I go to. One is a Big Book study where we read a bit of the Big Book and then go around the table offering comments and thoughts on whatever we just read. Typically there are a couple of Alanon members who go to this meeting, and I am assuming the meeting was voted by "group conscience" (all the people who call it their home group) to be "open" so that these Alanons who want to study the Big Book can attend. I also go to a 12 Steps & 12 Traditions meeting that is exactly the same deal.

Step meetings are just that - discussion of the 12 Steps. There are also 12 Traditions which I did not know about before attending AA. These are the 12 things that guide the organization. It is truly amazing that AA is such a world wide presence and the entire thing is guided by 12 things that fit on a single page. Tradition meetings discuss these. This is the tradition that most people are at least somewhat aware of, even if they don't realize it's a "Tradition" of AA:

12.—And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.

(that's what is called the "long form" of this tradition)

No meetings are exactly alike due to this tradition:


4.—With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.

(also the long form of this tradition)

That basically means that so long as they are not affecting other AA groups or AA as a whole, an AA group can decide for itself how it wants to structure and run it's meetings.

If you are planning to venture out to some meetings, I would encourage anyone to visit several. Some meeting formats might fit better than others, and some groups of people will definitely fit better than others. Have fun!

Tough chicks meeting for me today. I am proud to be a member of that group.

Phil, that flag ceremony was truly amazing. I still get chills thinking about the meetings at the Alamodome. For other readers, they had a parade of flags from all the countries where there are AA groups. I believe there were over 90 flags - do you recall exactly Phil?

Hello to everyone else! Hope everyone is finishing off a good week.

DG

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Thanks a lot for the lengthy reply Doggy, I knew I could reply on you to answer my questions. I am reading their international website at the moment as well and it is quite comprehensive.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

You know the drill KTAB. Post from DG, make a sandwich.

DG

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Weekly AA Thread 9/7-9/13

Ahh but its all good, unlike my inane wafflings most of the time.