September Serenity - Week 2

[Stargazerlily]

September Serenity - Week 2

Good morning to all. I thought I posted yesterday morning but can't find it. I was rushed anyway.

So....a problem I want feedback on. My son has come back due to not being able to make it financially. Certain people are giving me crap about it, saying mean things, giving unwanted advice, really hurting me and being judgmental. He is looking for a job, putting out probably 50 applications in the last couple weeks. The economy is certainly not favorable right now for easily obtaining employment. He has heard back from no one. He is getting depressed of course, and bored. He has an opportunity to go to school and get it paid for as he is low income. We would have to help him out until he finds a job. I mean, he could live here, but would need gas and insurance money. I am of two minds about it. Do I say, keep looking for a job, risking that it may take months. Or, do we bite the bullet, help him out even more, and risk letting him get too comfortable. Wait, he hates living with his parents, hates it. Is humiliated, discouraged, and trying to keep his head up. Just want people's thoughts on two things: how to handle judgemental people, and opinions on what to do: school before job, or wait for a job. I guess I am afraid of depression if no job turns up. I get really depressed if I have nothing to do, no purpose. I have to work and keep my time filled up. He is the same. Thanks for your thoughts.

Chill, you are lucky to be able to go to the beach. It is colder here, fall is definitely on the way. I loved the email from the universe. What is that site again?

Lav, your baby chicks sound like a new project, or a continuation. I need a project to work on to enjoy after work. I am thinking about crocheting something. I kind of like the scarves that people wear, the shiny ones, I wonder if I could make one with great yarn? Something to think about.

Hope every one has an AF weekend planned ahead of time. I really want to see the movie, Eat, Pray, Love. Will check in later.

[Rusty]

September Serenity - Week 2

Star-

I'm rushing to do training on 3rd shift but I just wanted to reply to your questions: Someone at MWO, I think it's our Chill says, "what people think of me is none of my business!" It it so true! I have had your same experience, except they were talking about ME instead of your son. You have a tough decision to make. When people make unwanted comments and say mean things, say, "If I wanted your opinion, I would ask for it." Or if you are close enough to these people and feel comfortable, you could say, "your comments are insensitive and really hurt my feelings. Don't judge us until you've walked in our shoes." And, being the STAR that you are, say it calmly. They will feel like weasels, and maybe will apologize to you later.:l This has worked for me.

I am of the opinion that since he can get assistance with his education, he should do it, and pursue something that he really enjoys. It will help him with his confidence, he will feel like he's making progress, and his mood will probably improve.

I'll be praying for you, Star. I've had friends in the exact same boat you were in and it is never easy but I have confidence that you and your husband will make the right move. And yes, yes, yes, see the movie!

Love,

Rusty

[Guitarista]

September Serenity - Week 2

Morning Stargazer, Rusty, and all Serener's and guest's,

Sorry to mix you up with Stargazer, a few day's ago, LBH, it must've been a late night post. Rusty, you are a nosy parker aren't you? :H I am single, but i also 'date' casually as well. And i will run in Wisconsin one day, so thank's for the invitation. Geez, i'd love to meet you and Chilli in Barcelona. Wow!
I haven't noticed RB around. She's probably just busy. Are you okay RB?
Thank's Cyn, your welcome.
Star, what does your son want to do most? Best wishes with it all.

A safe, sober, and magical weekend to everyone!

[Rusty]

September Serenity - Week 2

Ok, G-I plead guilty to one count of prying, on behalf of another female member of MWO who shall be nameless. She thought you were 90!:H I would love to meet up with you and Chill in Barcelona! I am so excited to go!

Yes, you would love Wisconsin, but probably in the summer, as opposed to winter. In the winter here, the temperature dips below -10 degrees F. Nipply.

A cheery hello to all my friends here: Lav, Dill, Sped, Sooty, Rustop, LBH, Cyn, Pap, ...Rebirth, where are you????

Have a great AF day!

[Chillgirl]

September Serenity - Week 2

Star - I really sympathize with you, its awful when you get bombarded with other peoples judgemental oppinions. Yes as Rusty quoted "what you think of me is none of my business" is a good one to remember. I have found that when I do act as a result of other peoples oppinions I have always regretted it. We have to get quiet and listen to our hearts, there lies the best answers.

As Mr G asked, what does your Son want most to do? Going to school is a great idea as long as its really what he wants to do and not just out of desperation to do something.

There are 3 types of business, YOURS, MINE & GODS. Its always good to stop and have a check to see who's your in, if its not you own get out of it. When people ask for advice it becomes your business but if they dont, keep your oppinion to yourself.

Lav - The chicks and EB are just too cute!

Rusty - Id love to meet you in Barcelona but at the moment even a cheap ticket is too much although I am very temped! (if Mr G comes I will find the money :H)

For anyone interested in signing up for the daily notes from the Universe the site is TUT.com

[dill]

September Serenity - Week 2

Star, just let the other's comments roll off your back. It says more about them than you.

I know how bad it is right now for young men looking for employment. There simply isn't anything. I whole heartedly support the plan of getting more education, especially if he picks a field that can lead to a job. I feel for you and your son. Mr. Dill and I are very sad for our son. There is such a hopelssness about him right now. I so wish I could change things in this country so that people could get back to work.

Chill, thanks for sharing the fun email from The Universe. I enjoyed that one.

Papmom, Congrats on the 4 months!

Lav, the chicks are SO CUTE!

Mr. G, LBH, Cyn, Rusty, Rustop, Sooty, Sped, PAguy, And all who stop in, Have a great AF weekend!

[spedteach]

September Serenity - Week 2

Good morning all,
Star, I sorry for your dilemma. I'll throw in my two cents. First off, mean and judgmental people, as hard as it may be, you have to just blow them off. They are often miserable in their own lives, can't deal with that and just project it on to someone else. About your son, so many questions, does he like school, would he be working on a degree, what kind of work did he do before and could he start school right away. My 3 "boys" are all in their 20's. I find this to be a really hard time to parent. They're adults but inexperienced adults. For me, I would bite the bullet any day, if they asked me to. I appreciate the fact every day that I have 3 healthy, wonderful sons. Good luck. Wasn't that wedding just like a week ago??
I know what you mean about having a project to come home to (as opposed to a glass of wine).

Lav, cute chicks but not as cute as that EB.

Rusty, for me Fall in Wisconsin (around Madison) is just about heaven.

Morning friends east of the Atlantic.

Morning all to come. Working with autistic kids today, always challenging but often kind of magical.

[spedteach]

September Serenity - Week 2

Cross post Dill, morning. Our thought on other peoples' judgements are right on the same page!

[paguy]

September Serenity - Week 2

Good Morning Folks:

Star - I can't agree more with the advice from others that "what you think of me is none of my business". As a young adult, I really struggled with being consumed with how others judged me because of my lifestyle. It wasn't until I moved beyond the fear of other's judgements when I was able to thrive and be the person I was meant to be. Your heart will tell you the right thing to do!

I am happy to say that I had a very good night's rest last night and am feeling quite chipper this morning! The pain has subsided a bit so I think it's going to be a good day.

Hope all of you have a great Friday!

[Lavande]

September Serenity - Week 2

GM everyone!

All the chicks made it thru their first night! Someday I'll tell you the story about what happened with my first two flocks...........

Everyone who knows me knows my operating system (I've even embroidered it on T shirts):
Opinions are like a$$holes, it's best to keep yours to yourself:H:H

Star, my son left home & was able to fly without problems. But my daughter returned over & over again until she was married nearly four years ago. I don't regret helping her out & would do it all again. We remain the best of friends

Enjoying some cooler weather, AC off, windows open & Hay Fever in full bloom :H
Wishing everyone a terrific AF FRiday!
Please check in rebirth - we miss you!

Lav

[Lavande]

September Serenity - Week 2

Cross post John - glad to hear your news

[Rusty]

September Serenity - Week 2

Hi Friends,

Well, it's been a very rough week but humbling and rewarding at the same time. Two years ago, when my drinking was at its worst, I was sitting at a bar near my mom's house, pounding down a martini...crying in my drink, despondent about my mother battling Stage 3 cancer and grieving the death of my brother. I looked up and across the bar was sitting one of my clients, the one I am working with THIS WEEK! He offered to buy me a drink and I said, "no thanks." After I refused, he came over to me, and he and his friend offered to drive me to my mother's. Humiliated, I allowed him to do so. I was greeted at the door by my infuriated mother, and I remember crying myself to sleep with shame. I wrote my client a thank-you note the next day, filled with self-loathing. Flash forward to now....he greeted me Wednesday with a big hug, told me he thought I was fabulous at my job, and then said he was going to give me more business. When I got here, I didn't know if I could look him in the eye, as he is the company president! Talk about humility and gratitude. I am soooo glad I got a second chance and I just wanted to share it with all my friends here....because you guys lift me up more than you will ever know!


Lav-I didn't get a chance last night to tell you how cute your chicks are and how adorable EB grandson is. What an adorable face! Broken hearts everywhere when he grows up.

Chill-No worried about meeting me in Barcelona....wishful dreaming, and in jest, although I love meeting you in this Forum every day. Ok, I'm intrigued by what Mr. G looks like (wicked giggle here....think junior high:H)

Dill-I just thought of you. The client I am with used to have a koi pond. He lost several thousand dollars worth of koi one year when they froze during the winter.

John-you sound good and I'm glad you checked in with us. You sound great!

Sooty-congratulations on your daughter's achievement! You must be so proud and she is lucky to have a mum like you. :goodjob:

Cyntree-Hope your Rosh Hashana celebration was everything you wanted.

Star-I echo what everybody here said, and the truth is, "Mean People Suck." I've seen that on lots of T-shirts. I echo what Sped said about finding courses for your son where he can have a decent career when he gets out.

Sped-3 sons? Well, they're all successful so you obviously did a good job. Yes, it is finally Fall here in Wisconsin and yes, I love it here.

A warm hello to Rustop, LBH, Rebirth-check in please, and Papmom, congratulations again on 4 months AF!

Have a great day!

[papmom3]

September Serenity - Week 2

Hi All,
Brrrrrr here in the North east!! Almost too cold to open windows but I will be brave later on!!

I have to say that even tho the posts today were for Star, they really hit home regarding the feelings I have about my friend and her state of affairs. IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS!! Why did I think I had the right to give her my opinions, biting comments and judgements??? I don't recall her asking me what she should do. What a horrible friend I am. Really. On the other hand, Greenie's list on the other thread had something that hit me right on the head too:
4.Stop spending time with people who have agreed to live with negative states.
So, lots to think about today. Star, thank you so much for bringing up this topic and I hope you find your own way through this situation with your son. I must say that I went home a few times as well as an adult and truly appreciated the sacrifice my parents made for me then. Couldn't wait to get out tho !!

Hope everyone had a fabulous and serene day!!
:l

[rustop61]

September Serenity - Week 2

Good afternoon everyone

A later check in for me today as I was at the hairdressers all morning. I started going grey at about 19 and every so often I threaten to just let it go grey I get so sick of the colouring process. My teens usually veto that idea, maybe some day.

Star - you have been given some great advice. Love Lav's quote!! Follow your instinct, he is your child and I am sure you are a great Mom.

Lav - Loved the photos of the chicks, they are so cute.

Rusty, Chill, Guitarista, Dill, Sped, LBH, Cyn, Paguy and anyone else I missed have a great week end.

Rustop

[Chillgirl]

September Serenity - Week 2

Good Afternoon Guys

Dill - Im sorry to hear your Son is also going through a hard time, i have never know a time so challenging and far reaching as this but with the highs we get the lows and after this there must be an almighty high coming......

Paguy - Glad you slept well, I hope your partner is going to spoil you over the weekend even if he cant cook!

Lav - Thats the best phrase i've heard for dealing with other people's opinions :H

Rusty - Wow, what a great story!! Its a true restorer in the faith in human kindness.

Papmom - I steer well clear of negative people although if im feeling strong I like to respond to their negativity with reason to be grateful just to see what happens.

Rustop - Im bottle blonde just like my Mum was and Im hoping like her instead of grey I turn silvery white which looks great on her and like another shade of blonde....

As we say in Portugal - Boa fin semana (good weekend!)