AF Daily - Friday 9/10

[greeneyes]

Morning abberettes and abberoooos!

I listened to a telecast last night while I made and ate dinner. Gotta love speakerphones. It was good and if you're interested, here's the replay link. audio

These are 6 steps to stopping fear
1.Stop looking for other people's approval to determine your own self worth.
2.Stop feeling responsible for the happiness or unhappiness of others.
3.Stop thinking you can change what happened yesterday by reliving it today.
4.Stop spending time with people who have agreed to live with negative states.
5.Stop believing you can only be as successful as you are willing to push yourself through life.
6.Stop explaining or justifying your actions to yourself or others.

Fear is a big issue for me and was a major factor in my drinking. I know that FH has always used that to his advantage and would like to continue to do so. So I've yanked up the TBGPs and will keep busy on my side of the street.

Be right back...

Lav, the chicks are so cute and I just want to squeeze EB!!

Det, I'm glad Dx is home and hope you feel better after sharing your experience.

Mohun, only healthy food for you!! (we allow ice cream though )

Marshy & P3, I hope you both have mega restful weekend lined up.

M3, how's the mojo?

Shout out to chilli, G, spuds, & gyco. Where's jewel, babysteps, bear....

Toight is an art show and reception with a couple friends. I used to love those as there is always self-pour wine. Now I really pick the ones to attend based on the show participants. (the hors dovures are nice ) I'll go downtown early and hit the tile store first.

Have a fabbie AF friday!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

GM Greenie!

We cross posted - I started a thread as well!
I'm very happy to hear your strong attitude today - good for you!
I agree with every one of the 6 steps - applies to me as well

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

I love that list Greenie. Fear was a big driver in my drinking as well, so I can sure relate to that. There are a couple of things that jumped out at me from the list that I need to work on. No time like the present!

Lav, I still need to go back in time to yesterday and see if I can see the chickie piccy!!! It made me smile to think of EB having so much fun and wonder with the little chicks.

Hello to everyone else from yesterday and yet to come today. Zoom zoom.

DG

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

These are 6 steps to stopping fear
1.Stop looking for other people's approval to determine your own self worth.
2.Stop feeling responsible for the happiness or unhappiness of others.
3.Stop thinking you can change what happened yesterday by reliving it today.
4.Stop spending time with people who have agreed to live with negative states.
5.Stop believing you can only be as successful as you are willing to push yourself through life.
6.Stop explaining or justifying your actions to yourself or others.

Yes....but how?


Quick check in today. The last couple of days have been long and tiring. Last evening was spent in the ER with #2 son. He hit his head at school, goofing around with friends and I was worried because he had no short term memory--even of the day before so we took him in and they did a CT scan. It was mostly for my peace of mind, because he acted fine, but I also know a head injury can go from bad to worse pretty fast. He is fine, but we were there 3.5 hours.
#2 son is disappointed he won't be starting in the football game tonight, may not play. He is not sure why, and of course coach is just using the tough guy silent treatment. Life lessons I guess, it's hard not to feel bad for him.

Like I've said before, there is no way I could keep up this pace if I were still drinking.
My friend's brother is still working with me, but we don't get a chance to talk much, and I have no clue how to bring up the subject of alcohol. Time will tell there I guess.

Well, I've got to run. I really hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy a life filled af weekend!:h

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Yes....but how? >>

The million-dollar question! And a great idea for a thread. I'm of the "only way out is through" school, but putting myself in the line of fire (some of which other people would consider normal, or even fun, situations) requires a tremendous act of will.

Work and family has been overwhelming the past few weeks, but I'm happy to check in and see that everyone's keepin' keepin' on. Happy Friday!

Pride

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

"How" is discussed in the telecast. She got Jennifer McLean (I'm liking her Healing With The Masters interviews) to name out loud her fears - this is with a global audience!! I'm listening thinking "OMG, I can't believe she is doing this". Then she had Jennifer attack a big one that was singing in public and she got her to sing a song - and it was beautiful! The singing was interesting to me as she has soul songs (another whole topic - they're sounds, note tunes and lyrics) that are published. There was talk about breathing too as it relates to the elimination of fear.

PAGuy, let me know if you want links to some of these series and I'll dig them up for you. You'd be a rather captive audience. When I think of you I so some white light visualization on your strong healthy ankle

Good to hear from you pride!

[Chillgirl]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

LVT25;956052 wrote: These are 6 steps to stopping fear
1.Stop looking for other people's approval to determine your own self worth.
2.Stop feeling responsible for the happiness or unhappiness of others.
3.Stop thinking you can change what happened yesterday by reliving it today.
4.Stop spending time with people who have agreed to live with negative states.
5.Stop believing you can only be as successful as you are willing to push yourself through life.
6.Stop explaining or justifying your actions to yourself or others.

Yes....but how?

For me the answer is in the sentence, STOP i know it sounds too simple but we are at an advantage here guys.... we understand habitual behaviour! Our thoughts and beliefs are just habits and we can change this. Whenever you find yourself looking for approval, feeling responsible, thinking, feeling and explaining STOP, see what you are doing and change it. Once you have done this for a while it will become the new habit and you will find you can do it without having to stop........ Go on give it a try

Chill

[Mohun]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Good Morning. Still early here on the left coast. Day 6 for me. Time to go for a hot tub and then coffee.

best wishes.

Mo.

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Hi All and good morning!!

PAGUY-are ya watching Oprah right now? I didn't know she was on at 10 now! I have the day off so get some TV time until my 1pm grooming appt(doggies, not me :H).

Greenie-your list is amazing!! Number 4 really resonates with me in regards to the situation with my "friend". There is also a post on the weekly thread that together has caused me to do a lot of thinking today. No answers yet but I'm sure the Universe will speak to me about it.

I'm feeling a little bit lost today. Day off but no motivation to do much besides laundry and dishes. I'll prolly find some later on and then the day will be over!! My body has been achy lately so maybe I need to just chill for a bit. Did sleep in and missed my morning walk. I've been having those F** it feelings and do I really want to NEVER go without a glass of wine again? Made the mistake of reading one of the posts in the Moderation thread. I know in my heart of hearts I cannot moderate. Never have, never will. It's not a matter of will power as much as I want it to be. It's brain chemistry pure and simple. The will power is staying away from the first drink. I guess the acceptance stage hasn't really hit me yet although I thought it had. I suppose I will need to always be on the lookout for these feelings. Definitely tied into self esteem, feelings of noone cares anyway (pity party and totally not true) and what has my life been worth? What have I done to better this world? Who have I touched?
Lots of things to think about and I am feeling more and more like counseling is in my future. How ironic that the daughter of a psychologist has resisted counseling all her years. I figure I have at least another 30 years on this planet so might as well make them the best 30 years ever!!

On a positive note, Dad made it back safely from his trip to the west coast and BC. God love the man for traveling like this at 83!! Also it's a full weekend of agility and should be quite fun although exhausting. Then one more work week and vacation!!

Lav, hope those chickies are doing OK today. One day maybe I'll live somewhere where I can have chick or at least guinea hens to control the bugs in my huge dream garden!!

:l Everyone!!

[universal]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Hi guys,

Quick check in - gotta run to a meeting soon.

The Fear question - this is one we are tackling here as well. I don't know the answer, I just know that being here and doing all the recovery work is getting a lot of my fears out - I am finding out by talking to my peers that we all have similar fears.

I am a bit dragging emotionally today as I had a pretty powerful recovery group this morning and I got a lot of tears out. But I am feeling better - just exhausted now. A good sleep tonight will rejuvinate me.

Here's to another 24 hours sober.

Day 57.

Love and hugs,
Uni

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Wow Uni, good for you! You will emerge a stronger, happier & fearless person

I've just finished listening to the webcast Greenie (don't know how I missed it yesterday). It was very, very good. I think the TBGP's help me stay in control & keep fear from taking over
Truthfully, at the end of the day I really don't give a rat's a$$ what other people think......I have faith in my thoughts & decisions.

OK Lav, back to work.

[bear73]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

great topic Greenie - fear is huge for me - will listen to the cast.
Day 6 here - had planned to go to spa and swim later but meant I would have had to pick up OH and band up after gig as we only have one car.
Alternative spa evening is hanging around here, eating microwave pizza and a big bubble bath/foot file/face mask and an early night.

I have a nice ploddy weekend planned - friend's birthday lunch tomorrow - complete with 2 small babies. Others may be drinking but it won't be a big focus of the day - it's when the 'lets get blasted drinking ' starts that I get tempted.
Then home - cooking healthy dinner/early night/maybe cinema.

Sunday I'm stocking up on healthy food/planning menu for week/washing clothes for the week/gym and steam and getting to grips with messy house - just downstairs for now.Upstairs is for another weekend!


Had some good news today - had weight/bmi/fat% done - results weren't good BUT what was good was being told by the healthy eating manager that I need to eat at least 1700 calories a day to lose weight!much better than trying to survive on 1200 - failing and then giving up.

I feel exhausted this week - think I have worn myself out with debates re alcohol, and I know that I will still at some point in the future try to convince myself that I can moderate -I can't so I need to ignore that voice.

Also done a lot of thinking figuring our re work/my role /job share's role and tackling it - has been brewing for a long time - feels like lots of things are about to be addressed.Feel sort of ominous,expectant but tired.
Good evening all to come.It's good to be back.

[paguy]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Hey Papmom - sending a double round of hugs :l :l your way.... You may be feeling out of sorts today but don't let it get the best of you. There are quite a few folks here who would argue that you HAVE touched hearts and your HAVE made a difference in this world.

Hang in there!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Lavande;956171 wrote: I've just finished listening to the webcast Greenie (don't know how I missed it yesterday).

This is the 2nd in a new series, lav. I've come to like her as an interviewer. I'm pretty sure I'm between phases because I'm quite uncomfortable a good protion of time. Me and my quaking chiwawawawawawa. :H

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday 9/10

Hi everyone! I really like that "fear" list Greenie and spent quite a bit of time thinking about that today as I was running errands and going 'round the circuit at Curves, etc. Fear is what drove me through the doors of AA even though I had been AF for a little over 8 months. So much of the work I have done to reduce the fear factor in my life has been done through the Steps of AA. So I wrote more thoughts about that in the AA thread. So now you know where to take your lawn chair and your sandwich! Great topic!!

Pride, good to see you.

LVT, so sorry that it's a bad stretch for the sons. It must be difficult to have to sit by and watch the coaching situation play itself out. Can't control that one I guess.... Hope the day got brighter for all of you.

Uni, congrats on 57 days and your continued progress in rehab. I love the "group talk" therapy of AA. For me, it takes what we do here with sharing by typing and in a faceless way to a whole new level. I was scared of that at first but now I love it and there are certain meetings that I really really look forward to now. I hope you find some good groups assuming you want to carry on once you finish at rehab.

PAGuy, I'm with you that P3 is a bright and shining positive for LOTS of people including me too!!!! How's the foot? How's Oprah? Is your partner taking excellent care of you and pampering you silly?

Bear, sounds like you got some great diet advice from the nutritionist. Sounds like you have a good plan for tonight and the weekend. You have talked about some issues with your job share for a long time. Now that you are not giving yourself the cloak of AL to procrastinate, it's probably time to deal with it. These things can feel painful at the time but I'm so glad to be addressing things that need addressing in my life today instead of trying to bury it all at the bottom of a bottle.

You GO Lav!!! (not caring what others think!) I find that if I am doing what I truly believe is the next right thing (even though I'm not perfect at knowing what it is or doing it) I can relax and not worry what others think. How are the chickies today? Is EB there again?

P3, I :h you. You are such a bright spot around here. I love your honesty and your gusto for figuring out the sober life thing along with the rest of us around here. YOU ARE FABULOUS!! And you are also a doggy person to boot! What an added bonus! You are SO worth the good sober life that is in front of you. I hope you have a great time at the agility stuff this weekend. YOU GO GIRL!!!

Hi Mo! Good job getting through Day 6. Keep it going one day at a time and do whatever you gotta do.

Chilli, it is amazing how we CAN stop the stupid thinking. Takes a little practice for me on some of the stickier things, but we CAN change the channel.

Greenie beanie. How is your mojo? Good today I hope? :l

Life is good. I'm going to tan, shower, and hopefully find some intriquing mystery movies on Netflix. It's been a busy week but I'm learning to take it one thing at a time. Amazing how well that works now that I'm getting used to it. A lot less stress when I don't "pile things on" mentally. And of course all of it is easier without a hangover.

Where's Deter? :b&d:

Hi G and Marshy and M3 and Gaia and anybody else who has not checked in yet today.

One thing is for sure......

DG