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**rebirth** · September 13, 2010, 09:28 AM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Hi j-vo. It must be crippling to suffer from depression. I have had bouts of it in my life but never on going. When I was depressed life was very difficult. I understand and relate to how hard life can be for you sometimes.

Anyways..I have a meeting this wednesday and I will be asking this particular person if she will be my sponsor. Lol. Feeling nervous already. Maybe I will just ask if we could exchange numbers? is this a cop out?

**Doggygirl** · September 13, 2010, 07:38 PM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Hi all! j-vo, I didn't realize you had such a difficult history with depression. I can't even imagine how frustrating and frightening that must be. I hope you get it all figured out with your doc. I have to think getting AL out of the picture must simplify matters a bit. (not counter acting AD's with a depressant)

rebirth, I hope you will just ask! The only reason I know of that anyone has said no to sponsorship is if they truly do not have time to do YOU justice. It is truly an honor to be asked. Just go for it!! I am told that I need to help others in order to stay sober myself. So sponsoring someone helps me just as much as it helps them. I'm sure it is that way for the woman you have in mind too. By getting a sponsor, YOU are helping someone else as much as they are helping you.

Thanks j-vo for starting the thread today! I normally don't go to meetings on Monday so you all are it! I was in touch with a couple of AA friends today and that was nice. We were in touch because we are friends and have some things in common. Nobody was jonsing for a drink today which is a wonderful thing!

Will be going to my usual Tuesday meeting in the AM. My friend will be chairing and it's open topic. It always turns out to be something good!

DG

**Doggygirl** · September 14, 2010, 03:20 PM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Hi Sheri! It's so good to see you post here. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts! Thanks for the link to the on-line meetings. I haven't done any on-line AA meetings to date. If I were ever stranded at home (weather, illness, whatever) for more than a couple of days, I would certainly check that out! Sounds like the courtesies that are followed in a face to face meeting were followed there too which is wonderful. That was one of the things that really stood out for me the first few meetings I attended - the manners. Even when people have strong and opposing opinions, things are generally handled very respectfully. I hope you work up the courage one day! I think you would love it. There is nothing like looking directly into the eyes of people who share this journey. Well, and real life hugs are pretty awesome too.

Today's "open topic" was sort of interesting. A woman (with many years sobriety) brought up a topic today that she also brought up just a few weeks ago. It was not directly related to her sobriety - it's a family problem (her adult children are fighting with each other) that is out of her control. It's just as out of her control this week as it was a few weeks ago. At first I was a little frustrated that a more senior person would bring up the same subject twice in such close succession. But there is ALWAYS a learning opportunity when I get those initial reactions inside. Anyone could have raised a topic. That includes me. Nobody did so she did. There is nothing that precludes us from discussing the same topic over and over. That is not up to me. There is also ALWAYS relevant information that gets discussed. The more the "I can't control others" message is reinforced for me, the better off I am. So it was a good meeting. I hope there comes a day when those little things don't even irritate me momentarily. I want to grow into a person who does not get irritated at all. I used to think that had to do with everyone around me changing their evil ways! It doesn't. It has to do with ME accepting that others have free choice and they will do what they do. I don't need to have a negative reaction to any of it.

That lofty goal will be me busy for a lifetime I think! :H

DG

**rebirth** · September 14, 2010, 05:06 PM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Hi Sheri! Good to see you on here. Just tried your link but there were so many people on line that I gave up after a while. Not sure which meeting I was in but everyone was chatting at the same time..this is not how an AA meeting is usually conducted so not sure what happened there.But I think you will like AA meetings..You have a strong presence and you are very inspiring. You would be an asset to AA I reckon

Hi DG. There are a few regulars who go through the same stuff over and over again. One will not accept forgiveness from another member who did her wrong, another who has a fear of dying and another who threatens sucide every other month( apparently she cries wolf all the time). I have been hearing their same stories for over a year. I use to get annoyed and frustrated when they shared but now I accept that it's their choice to share what they like.We are all so different and it's about learning isnt it. But this is what I love about AA, the diversity of people who attend but we are unified because we fight the same addiction.You just cannot beat this type of bonding!

**Guitarista** · September 14, 2010, 06:16 PM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Greeting's everyone!

I'm on holiday's at the moment (yay) for 3 week's. I'm strong, focused, and my sobriety is not in any doubt, but i am interested in AA for that face to face connection, and to see if that strengthen's me even more. No idea where AA would take me, but since i've got a bit of time up my sleeve, i'm gonna check out a couple of meeting's and see how i feel. I've been to 2 only. Both different, and interesting, but a bit scary too! I suppose it's just the anonymity issue i have, even though i'll talk freely to my friends about it if asked. Anyway, i'll find one today or this week, and see how i go.

Great thread, and alway's an interesting read. Best wishes all!

**Cherbear** · September 14, 2010, 10:23 PM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Hi All,

Welcome Sheri and Guitarista!,, I love this thread too!, sharing what we get out of the program is just like having a meeting!, But the face to face contact is really what has helped me stay sober.. not as long as you guys but I've tried a trillion times to quit and until I went to an actual AA meeting and shared and voiced out loud it really didn't stick. I hope you both try a few meetings, different ones.. I have found most of them to be so loving and open and comfortable.. its a great thing.

J-vo.. boy I am sorry about your depression history.. tough road but as you know AL only makes depression worse.. I have that tendency and I sure can tell a difference being off the AL and connecting in AA that my attitude is so much better. You know we are supporting you.

Rebirth; I hope you feel comfortable asking.. as DG says, if they say no, it only means they are being very honest about their ability to help you at the time. My sponsor is a snow bird and goes south to Mexico the end of Oct. until end of May

( I didn't know that until after I got her so when she leaves I have to find a new one but at least now I'm getting to know the ones that I would like to ask.. long time sobriety and seem to have a good hopeful attitude when they share.

DG! I last night in my Big book meeting we read part of ch. to the agnostic and all shared about our spirtual experiences and I was compelled to read the 12 signs of a spiritual awakening when I shared because I just loved it and it really helped me. Everyone loved it and want me to copy it and bring it to our next meeting.. Did that come from Hazelden??

Love you guys!!! Hang in and have a great week.. busy one for me but I will keep peaking in

**rebirth** · September 15, 2010, 03:01 AM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Sheri - Ga stands for go ahead. That sceduled online meeting sounds like a simliar format to a live one. Go to one as I would love to hear your feedback! It doesnt hurt. I think you will find it very interesting.

Hi mr G! I went to an AA meeting in Barbados once. The foramt is usually the same but people are different. i really enjoyed them. Tell us what happened as I am very intrigued! Think we all are. Happy holidays.

Hi Cher. Tonight is the night to ask her...so bloody nervous but i will try!!! Why do I feel like I am asking her out on a stupid date? How silly. I musnt take it to heart if she says no. It's just an old insecurity of mine coming out..rejection.

Happy hump day all!

**j-vo** · September 15, 2010, 04:34 AM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Morning everyone,

Well, last night at my small group meeting, I got my one month coin! I will keep it with me at all times to remind me of how wonderful sobriety has been.

Welcome Sheri! Your online experiences with AA sound very helpful. Going to the meetings, even though I've only been in this for a month is an incredible experience as well. I was shaking when I entered my first meeting. DG offered the advice to go to more than one meeting, to scout out the different meetings so that I'd find one I'd really like. Well, that happened in my third location I tried. I am in awe of the people that attend, the love and support (unconditional) that is alive and in those rooms. I understand about the "something missing" thing, as I was always feeling that way. I'm growing in my spirituality and it feels so great. AA is showing me how to do that. Good luck!

Guitarista, Welcome to you too! AA anonymity (can't even spell it let alone say it) is something I was very concerned with too. I have seen a few people there, but they are there for the very same reasons as I am. I've gotten more comfortable with that, although I'd never go to an AA meeting near my work. My sponsor says that becomes less of an issue after sometime. I trust her!

Cher, Rebirth, and DG, yes my depression has been debilitating and even more so is my severe social anxiety. I have to say, I know attending AA is helping me greatly in this area. I take natural supplements before attending the meetings which helps me to calm myself somewhat (it's called Seredyn) but I'm getting more confident. I'm asking my HP for lots of help and peace. I'm hearing and feeling him!

DG, that's a great topic - Not getting irritated by others, not reacting negatively to situations is so important to the serenity we hope to attain. I have to say, I think this is a learned behavior and takes lots of practice, of course our HP helping us out is important.

Have a great day!

**retteacher** · September 15, 2010, 07:37 AM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Everyone: I'm happy to be back w/my family after being w/my mother for a week. I must admit that it was difficult leaving her, as she's very old & fagile. However, we did a lot of necessary chores & errands. She has someone checking in on her daily, but I still found myself thinking about her last night before I fell asleep.

Sheri: I can see your trepidation about going to face-to-face AA meetings. There were all kinds of issues I felt I needed to overcome. The first was admitting to a group of people that I'm an alcoholic. The second big one still plagues me from time to time. Will I see people I know? The answer is "yes, I have." It's not the end of the world, & HP puts it in our path for a reason. I've recently encountered a young woman (a former student from the school I taught at). It wasn't easy, but I made myself approach her at the end of the meeting to talk.

Ah control. I would love to control just about EVERYONE in my life. But, alas, that wouldn't work. A week w/my mother is proof of that.

Take care one & all.

Mary

**marriedgirl29** · September 15, 2010, 11:57 PM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Rebirth, good luck you must tell us what's the word on the sponsor. I hope it's a yes so you can start doing steps!!!! I have been to very few meetings lately(still bad) but I have been in regular contact with my sponsor and working steps and I can honestly say I am almost to 3 months and any other attempt in the past if I had missed this many meetings I would be drunk by now. Not good logic there, but i was just trying to make the point that doing the steps and working with a sponsor and doing the honest 5th step, etc. has made me not feel like I'm white knuckling it, but actually like I'm sober and I can stand to be and even like I can laugh and have fun! It's pretty incredible.

Good to see some new folks posting I hope the couple of folks who were thinking of trying some live meetings will give it a shot it's not as scary as it seems. But it's definitely normal to feel that way about it, I know I did.

Happy Thursday everyone! I'm starting my 8th step, just read the 12x12 Step 8! More on that soon, I couldn't believe some of the behaviors it called out I am definitely guilty of!

**Doggygirl** · September 16, 2010, 06:57 AM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Hi everyone! Yes rebirth - am looking forward to hearing what happened. I really do believe this process of approaching a potential sponsor teaches us things. At least for me, I was so emotionally immature when it came to my relationships with people. (have come a ways, but still have far to go!) I took everything personally and if things didn't go the way I wanted them to go with someone, then it was like they slapped me in the face. That's not really what is going on at all. The world doesn't revolve around me. Other people have their own lives, problems, schedules, and preferences. I don't like everyone else (although I'm learning to accept people whether I like them or not). Everyone else is not going to like me. It's all good.

MG, congratulations on your progress through the steps. It seems that your sponsor it all good with working through them at a strong pace since you are willing to do the work at a strong pace. I was (and am) the same way. If I'm committed to doing it, I'm willing to dive in and get a move on. It's nice for me to have a sponsor that is willing to press on through the steps rather than force a slower approach. Different strokes for different folks. That's all good too. Steps 8 & 9 are very freeing.

j-vo congratulations on picking up your 1 month chip! Did that feel special? I hope so! I got a Big Book cover along the way that has the serenity prayer imprinted in the leather and also a little "window" for a coin. So I keep my current coin in there. I am saving my other coins and am willing to pass them on to others when the right opportunities come along. My first AA coin was 9 months. (like my rebirth

)

Mary it is so good to have you back! I'm sure you were a blessing to your Mom.

Cherbear, a friend of mine that I met in AA passed the 12 signs of a spiritual awakening on to me. I'm not sure where they originated. Sounds like you had a great meeting on Chapter 4. That Chapter totally escaped me at first. I read it again and again and nothing sunk in until I was at a meeting where we discussed "Willingness is the key that open the door." Once I realized that all it takes is willingness, I could finally start "getting it."

G - I hope you are having a fabulous holiday! Let us know how it goes if you end up in a meeting. Rebirth, I want to go to Barbados to a meeting.

Sheri, I hope you will jump on in if the spirit moves you!

I had an interesting experience Monday evening while volunteering. (important note: The Mission where I volunteer is also a client of Mr. Doggy and my business) A couple weeks ago, I was talking with one of the guys in their Men's program who was working in the kitchen. We were talking about addiction (most of the men in this program are drug and/or alcohol addicts in recovery). He didn't think I understood. I told him I'm a friend of Bill W. He was surprised, but of course that establishes the connection of understanding. On Monday, he was not working in the kitchen but was there for dinner. He told me he has to leave that program (a medical issue - not a relapse or rule breaking issue). He's moving to a "sober house" not too far away. He asked which AA meetings I like / recommend. I was so glad that I had previously put my pride aside and was willing to say I was an AAer. You just never know when that information opens to door to help a fellow alcoholic. I could NOT have done that a year ago. (revealing my status as alcoholic to ANYONE that close to a customer)

Gotta run - loving this thread as always.

DG

**retteacher** · September 16, 2010, 08:06 AM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

DG: Your experience w/the guy in the men's group at the mission reminded me of the message of last night's meeting: Trust God, Clean House, Help Another Person. It's much easier (but less helpful) to keep my addiction to myself & not let on about it. However, you would never have been able to help that man find meetings had you done so. A woman shared a story similar to yours at last night's meeting. She was passing a couple of guys talking on the street & overheard one of them say he'd like to "control" his drinking better. She stopped & revealed she was in AA & told him which meetings she goes to. I'm not sure if you know that Bill's autobiography is called "Pass It On." Where would we all be if the founders didn't do that?

Have a wonderful day one & all.

Mary

**rebirth** · September 16, 2010, 10:37 AM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Arggh you guys are gonna think I am rediculous but I lost my nerve to approach her last night! She was always with a crowd. Cant believe I am so shy about all this??
I have noticed though that I have subconciously gone through some of the steps by my own. Not saying it's the right approach as i would love to have a sponsor's help). I have noticed that I am on step 4 without realizing it.

Hi Cher, Dg, Mg and mary.

**Cherbear** · September 16, 2010, 02:52 PM

Weekly AA Thread 9/13-9/19

Hi everyone,

Rebirth: don't sweat it but try again!!! A sponsor is really important so you don't short cut and take things the easy way.. my sponsor throws out questions I would NEVER ask my self, its all about cleaning our side of the street. and we need a broom to help us sweep tee hee.

re: working on Step 4 which I am on.. I found a download which is hugely helpful . google Step 12 Help for Alcoholics alcoholism alcohol drug addiction treatment recovery and look for from Dallas B. it is similar to Joe and Charlie's step 4 work which is on the web too but it is slightly less cumbersome.

Mary.. I am going to be with my Mother next week so I hear you. She has been a widow for 30 years and very indep. but getting much older and slower each time I see her and its hard sometimes.

Hi to everyone else.

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