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    #16
    friday af 24 sept

    Marshy,


    Of the four:

    Maybe you are wondering if she is the kind of person you want to be with if her definition of a good weekend is different from yours. I'm not saying don't be friends but would you want to get involved with a user now that you are where youare?

    You have to use new criteria in relationships and maybe that is troubling you. Tougher choices. But better in the long run.

    My two pesos.
    AF since May 6, 2010

    Forget the past, plan for tomorrow, and live for today.

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      #17
      friday af 24 sept

      Gaia;966805 wrote:
      You have to use new criteria in relationships and maybe that is troubling you. .
      Maybe. I really don't know.

      Oh, just to be clear, she knows all about my drinking history and wouldn't try to encourage me in anything I didn't want to be involved with.
      sigpic
      AF since December 22nd 2008
      Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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        #18
        friday af 24 sept

        hmmm... think I ned some okra to think.
        AF since May 6, 2010

        Forget the past, plan for tomorrow, and live for today.

        Comment


          #19
          friday af 24 sept

          Top of the okra patch ABeroooooos!

          enjoying a glorious day at home with my darling Dx

          LVT, I feel for you hon. Dx had to put up with my personality changes for the years that I was a daily drinker. I'm glad she was so hard headed and that I finally managed to pull my head out of my bum. whew! now things are truly grand. have you read the book: codependent no more?

          big day yesterday as my new rifle arrived weeeeeee! it's been on order since early Feb and I'd pretty well forgotten about it. won't have a chance to shoot this weekend tho as I'm attending a martial arts seminar which should be a hoot. good healthy fun. my goal is to NOT break any body parts for once.

          have a magnificent AF'ing day everyone
          nosce te ipsum
          (Know Thyself)

          Comment


            #20
            friday af 24 sept

            Gaia;966814 wrote: hmmm... think I ned some okra to think.
            :H:H:H:H

            Marshy, I have moments when I think a, b, and c. I'm sure I could come up with some ds too. But really it would probably be c for me. I think we know we're not dull and boring because we don't/can't. I think we're past focusing on whether other people think we are because we don't/can't. But I have to admit once in a while, I wish I could. In those "once in a while" moments, I remember the outrageous fun I had. I'm not thinking of pushing my soaked hair from my face with my shaking hands in the middle of the night and all that. Sometimes I resent that I have those bad kind of memories even though they keep me in check. It doesn't last. Remember when we talked about things we were doing sober for the first time and had to get used to? I guess trying on a new relationshisp fits in there. My 2 francs :sausages:
            sigpic
            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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              #21
              friday af 24 sept

              Marshy,

              It would probably be a wee bit of "c" for me too because I was a pretty big partier a long long time ago. But, mostly I think that I would question someone who could be a potential romantic interest going to a party such as this. I am too old (I mean mature) for that crap. Going to parties with copius amounts of alcohol and drugs? Really. I would be annoyed too.

              M3
              AF Since April 20, 2008
              4 Years!!!
              :lilheart:

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                #22
                friday af 24 sept

                greeneyes;966833 wrote: But I have to admit once in a while, I wish I could.
                Yeah, me too. At least, I wish I could it without consequences. Could go out and do it for a night or weekend and then not have an enormous battle on my hands not to keep on doing it for the next 20 years. It would be nice to have a "night off" occasionally.


                momof3;966849 wrote:
                I am too old (I mean mature) for that crap.
                Yes, I know what you mean. I grew out of the drugs thing in my 20s/30s as did all my friends around at the time, although I spose alchohol was my drug and that carried on until my 40s. I was surprised to find out that she (still) does drugs. She did say that it's not something she does very often and hadn't taken anything since about June but last weekend she also went to a party and did the same thing.
                sigpic
                AF since December 22nd 2008
                Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                  #23
                  friday af 24 sept

                  Marshy,

                  At the ripe old age of 29?
                  I feel I'm just too damn old for that nonsense anymore :H:H

                  At this point I'm happy sitting quietly with my laptop, the TV, a cup of decaf & a bag of potato chips :H
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    #24
                    friday af 24 sept

                    Marshy;966857 wrote: She did say that it's not something she does very often and hadn't taken anything since about June but last weekend she also went to a party and did the same thing.
                    DING! DING! DING! Danger Will Robinson!!

                    That is all.
                    sigpic
                    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                    Comment


                      #25
                      friday af 24 sept

                      Lavande;966862 wrote: At this point I'm happy sitting quietly with my laptop, the TV, a cup of decaf & a bag of potato chips :H
                      Can I come over?
                      sigpic
                      Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                      Comment


                        #26
                        friday af 24 sept

                        Of course you can come over Greenie :l

                        I just read an interesting article on WebMD (in plain English) about codependent relationships..........apparently we're all a bit codependent

                        It mentioned some people are addicted to hope!!!!!! OMG, that's me - no kidding & it hasn't done me a damn bit of good has it?:upset:
                        Now I have to work on breaking that addiction too - crap.
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                        Comment


                          #27
                          friday af 24 sept

                          greeneyes;966910 wrote: DING! DING! DING! Danger Will Robinson!!

                          That is all.
                          :H:H:H Ummm.

                          I'm coming over too, Lav. Put the kettle on.
                          sigpic
                          AF since December 22nd 2008
                          Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                          Comment


                            #28
                            friday af 24 sept

                            Marshy;966959 wrote:
                            I'm coming over too, Lav. Put the kettle on.
                            Oh, wait. You have snakes, don't you? Forget that :H:H
                            sigpic
                            AF since December 22nd 2008
                            Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                            Comment


                              #29
                              friday af 24 sept

                              greeneyes;966910 wrote: DING! DING! DING! Danger Will Robinson!!

                              That is all.
                              Doubledie Ding Dong.

                              Hello everyone. A bit scattered today. Still sending :l to all who need one and :b&d: (to go with Greenie haircuts) to FH's everywhere.

                              Marshy, I have given thought to this in terms of my own gratitude that Mr. Doggy is not a partier, as I watch others go through similar things to what you describe. There is a part of me that is a bit envious for brief moments that others "can" and I "can't." However on whole, I really don't WANT that life any more. And I'm grateful that my partner does not want that life, not even occassionally.

                              I am not a broken person who subsequently has to "tolerate" other people going to wild parties. I'm just not into wild parties and I want to be with a partner who is also not into that. Doesn't matter if they are a alkie/addict or just someone who doesn't choose that particular path.

                              As Mr. Doggy's "thing" was pot before he gave it up, I will just make a comment about partners who are doing illegal drugs. (assuming whatever she is doing is illegal??) Even if done in a controlled fashion, it is still illegal and each time that person is possessing or doing that drug, there is a risk of some real undesireable consequences. Mr. Doggy and I have talked at length about how nice it is that we no longer live with the stress of him getting caught. Like a DUI, it only takes once. I hate to sound like a prude, but I guess I have become a bit of a prude. I just don't want that potential problem and drama in my life any more.

                              OK - that was long!

                              Lav - can I come over too? I'll bring the sweet potato garlic jam to go with the okra that I'm sure Greenie is bringing. (Okra fest sounds like a BLAST! I would even be up for tasting some OKRA!)

                              And Lav, I am SO glad that snake did not get your chicks!!!!!

                              I have heard 'round the tables that the alcholic is addicted to alcohol and the alanon is addicted to the alcoholic. I guess that is co-dependence????

                              I nominat LVT and Lav for sainthood. Seriously. Those freshly hair cutted dudes have NO IDEA how much gratitude they ought to be showing about now! :b&d:

                              Well, off to grill some brats!

                              DG
                              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                              One day at a time.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                friday af 24 sept

                                Bit by bit I am trying to catch up!

                                Bear, heed all the warnings for the weekend and I hope you have stress free AF fun!

                                P3, I too liked G's avatar. us fangirls too overpowering for him perhaps??? :h:h (naw...I think our G can handle it?)

                                Det, so good to have you back on this ol' wagon with us one day at a time. Treasure Dx and take good care of yourself through your marshal arts weekend. Remember you are not 18 any more. You are 29 like the rest of us.

                                Back for more reading.....

                                Oh - Greenie I really like that roller coaster analagy. How true. Same facts, different reactions.

                                DG
                                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                                One day at a time.

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