October Optimism - week 1

[Lavande]

October Optimism - week 1

Good evening folks,

A little chilly here but nice
Unfortunately rain is to move in later tonight thru Wednesday, ugh. Do we really need more rain after last Thursday's 7"????????
Chicks are holding up quite well. I close their windows & doors long before the sun sets so it doesn't get too cold for them. I still have their red heat lamp in use overnight. So far so good. They are mostly feathered out now, very little fuzz remaining on them So far so good!

Well, the new ceiling fan is in place & working except for the lights.........something still wrong with the wiring so that will require more work at some point whern there's no football game on.........

Papmom, sounds like your car is going to be quite useful for your doggie ventures!

LBH, I didn't know the Smart Car was such a hard worker! I miss not having the pickup here for those kind of shopping trips. Hmm, maybe I should look into buying one just for me

I haven't allowed myself to think about the holidays yet because I just don't know what to do.....
Tomorrow is Mr Lav's birthday but I made no mention of it today, neither did he. Our son's birthday falls on Thanksgiving day this year, grandson's birthday is 3 days after. How the heck am I supposed to arrange all that when I don't know what's going on? Guess I'll worry about it when the time comes.

Hope everyone has a comfy & peaceful night

[Guitarista]

October Optimism - week 1

Hi Lav,

I'm sure the chick's will be fine. Best of luck negotiating those birthday's! Hope you're having a comfy and peaceful night too.

[paguy]

October Optimism - week 1

Guitarista;972698 wrote: This attitude is directly linked to being sober, and living sober. It allow's our self confidence, and natural enthusiasm for life to emerge, in a more relaxed way. We look great, are switched on, and 'together.' Not to mention if we are good at field of work we're going for.

G - Great advice and perspective - Thanks! In fact, my anticipation of retiring and making a change to have a better work/life balance was instrumental in my decision to quit drinking this past July. All I could think of was if I continued down the same path of drinking every night, I would only drink more if I had more free time on my hands. And that is not how I wanted to live my life. Glad to hear of your success - Congratulations!

[sdlovespackers]

October Optimism - week 1

Just a quick check in tonight!! Brayden's team made it into the semi-finals in soccer....he played against the school that I work at...yea the kids LOVE playing my son!!! I seriously think it gives them the added spark they need!:H Anyway...they ended up going into TRIPLE overtime and my son's team ended up losing by one!:upset: I think I was more upset than Brayden!! LOL!!! Anyway...along with that my ex showed up to watch the games with his crappy, piss poor, I'd rather be sleeping attitude...I could have punched him...A HUGE TRIGGER for me. Just knowing I still have laundry, school work, dishes and the battle of getting the boy to bed....ugh...stress is totally setting in...this is usually where I begin drinking!!! I've poured my lemon water and hopped on here...at one point in the night...while the lasagna was baking I thought about jumping in the car and making a run...but instead grabbed my water and began reading my next chapter in my Leadership book....please let this tightness go away!!! I'll be ok....just venting!! Ok...off to get the B-man out of the shower and into bed!! Have a great night everyone...I have night class tomorrow...so if I don't get here tomorrow...I'll be sober, I promise...just probably bored into a coma!!
SD:l

[ladybirdheart]

October Optimism - week 1

SD. It will be OK, take a great big breath, a huge breath, and get into bed as soon as you can. Sometimes just a new day is wonderful to look forward to, just go to bed sober and dream. We love you. Ladybird.

[cyntree]

October Optimism - week 1

SD - hang in there, you are doing GREAT. Hard to have so many triggers so close together and so early into the October game, but you are definitely a WINNER. Sage advice, as always from LBH: "just go to bed sober and dream". Nothing better than sleep in my book.

Rustop, big Thank Yous for the quote, I loved it. And I needed it. I have to admit that a sense of humor is one of the first things to go away for me when I am overworked and tired...it was a great reminder. I love the idea of the joy diary. I was thinking this morning about something that I'm very grateful for: I love my morning pot of tea, and for a couple of years I had lost all sense of taste and smell. It was so sad to me that in the mornings I couldn't receive that fabulous, rich, enveloping moist fragrance of my tea brewing. I got out of the habit of even thinking about it, until the other morning when I realized that I can (pretty much) smell the richness. Wahoo! Joy!

Chill and Star, loved the SideStep stories, they are always a shot in the arm for me. Star - again, I am reminded of your posts of last year, when you were in a real panic about your father and his wife coming over, and how the drinking would work out for family dinners, etc. You seem so much more settled this year!

LBH - I drive a Toyota Matrix, and LOVE it like a pet. Her name is Trixie (brilliant, I know) and she is my trusty little filly. She works long and hard and is so faithful - carrying tons and tons of my crap around daily with nary a whimper. She just recently passed 100,000 miles, and I was so proud of her. I've even promised her a Spa day (she'll get hers long before I get one, I have a feeling).

Hope all have had a great Sunday. I'm entertaining workmen at 7:00 tomorrow morning - new refrig, stove top, and oven, all to make the house look ritzy for prospective buyers. LBH - send me some kitchen patience, will you?

Sleep tight/good morning all --

[rebirth]

October Optimism - week 1

Good morning all! I have tried to catch up with everyone's posts but there is too many to read during my coffee break.

SD - Fantastic that you are posting on here when you have a craving. Thats the way to do it!

LBH - Loving those pictures and wishing I had that on my doorstep. there is nothing like a change of scenery to change your perspective in life. That's why I am a travel addict.

Chill - Ooooo..sounds really promising!! Let us know if he called you!

Dill- No pictures sorry. The weather has been miserable all weekend. Good for the lawn i guess.


Unfortunately my weekend wasnt as relaxing as I hoped. My BF and I had a disagreement sunday midday and he decided to drink on it (it could have been solved if he hadnt.).He disappeared for the entire afternoon hours and returned in a drunken state, and a bag with a bottle of gin and three beers.

Oh GOD it was torture! He kept repeating himself over and over again not listening to me and just using me as his emotional punchbag.All he cared about was how hurt and angry he felt. ..drinking further as he got more stupid and more angry, texting his friends ( and letting me know that he had his friends backup) I didnt know who this guy was in my living room and I didnt like him one bit. All I could think about was my son upstairs sleeping and hoping that he couldnt hear the stream of foul language coming out of my BF's mouth.

Anyway he finally went to bed after blaming me for his state and vomiting in the bathroom. I havnt slept a wink last night.I was actuelly worried about what he might do in his state.Great start to the week eh!

Guys I am drinking my coffee and thinking of ending out relationship. He was the one who told me I had a drink problem but I see that he has one too (I was just that bit worse than he was).This is the second time that he has reached for the bottle to vent his anger at me in the four months of my sobriety.

Chill you want to meet someone who doesnt drink, Rusty it doesnt seem to bother you..I met this guy when I was a drinker so I cant expect him to change for me.He is generally a good guy but does tend to overdo it with the drink sometimes. But I dont want to go through what I did last night again. I am confused. And feel very sad about all this.

Ah well. I didnt drink on it. Thats serious progress for me. By the way guys..I am four months AF today and extremely grateful to be sober ( especially seeing a mirror image of myself in my BF last night. No thanks!!)

[rebirth]

October Optimism - week 1

I find it shocking that I use to be in that kind of state every weekend. I thought it to be normal behaviour!!What an eye opener. Yes guys I have to stay away from AL.

[Rusty]

October Optimism - week 1

Good Way Too Early Morning Friends,

It's 2:40 a.m. Monday and I've been awake for awhile so thought I'd log on here and say HELLO!

Rebirth :l- I'm sending you a PM. Congratulations on staying strong yesterday through that horrendous encounter with your BF. :goodjob:I think you would be wise to break off that relationship. He doesn't sound like he's good for you....and you absolutely wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who has a drink problem while you're trying to stay sober. I can only imagine how sad you are about this....and typical of people who have an AL problem, he accepts no responsibility for his actions. Maybe if you broke up with him, he'll finally realize he has a problem.RB, do not want to be involved with someone who is a heavy drinker. Moderate drinking is ok but I was involved with someone not too long ago who hid his alcoholism from me and then admitted it after we broke up, and I can see the deterioration of my ex's personality and health due to AL. Believe me, he blamed everyone else for his drinking problem, too. One of the red flags I saw with this guy who just asked me out is that he likes his beer....a little too much for my taste. That's one of the reasons I'm not disappointed that he canceled our date.

As an epilogue to my story of this client of mine cancelling our date last week supposedly due to his best friend being killed in a motorcycle accident....I find it odd that he hasn't mentioned the funeral, etc. in an e-mail. If this were his best friend, don't you think he would tell me about the arrangements, etc., or tell me about how his wife and kids were handling his friend's death? Since I told him I was unavailable to see him this week, I haven't heard from him.

Cyn-I know about the Matrix. Great car! One of my clients supplies the floor mats for the Matrix.

SD-Good job on handling that situation with your ex AF! You should be proud of yourself.

PA-I like your "retirement" plan. IT people are needed everywhere.

Lav-are you doing anything for Mr. Lav's birthday? You're not going to put Ex-Lax in the cake, are you?

Well, I've decided to take the chance and go to Paris. I truly don't have any time to reschedule this trip, and I would have to pay an exorbitant change fee if I did.

Hello to all my friends out there I didn't mention....have a wonderful AF Monday!

[rustop61]

October Optimism - week 1

Good morning everyone

Just a quick check in from me as I am rushing out the door to meet a friend for coffee. Sorry your week-end ended like it did Rebirth, congrats on your 4 months and also for staying AF in those circumstances. Good luck on your trip Rusty. No point worrying about these things, none of us know what is around the next corner.

Still have to catch up on the week-ends posts. Hope everyone has a great AF week.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

October Optimism - week 1

It's cold here!!!!Brrrrrrr. I had to turn on the heat for the first time and the fireplace (gas). Now it is Indiana summer, the best time of the year.

RB, seeing others drunk and sloppy really puts a perspective on alcohol consumption. In a relationship for many years, the only way we keep it going is by supporting each other and communicating. Many times we fall short. Your description of events did not sound either supportive or filled with useful communication. You are so strong to stay AF, I am amazed at your committment and determination. Lots to think about, we are here if you want to toss ideas around.

PA, I envy you the option of either early retirement or part-time work. I will have to work full time forever and it is really hard. You know, it is interesting about age, the individuals I work with who are in the 50-60 range are the hardest working, most experienced in the organization. You are 100% correct about sobriety giving you the edge.

Rusty, yeah, the guy who broke the date would seem to have mentioned the funeral or something. Wow, what a childish thing to make up. I agree it would be hard to be AF and be with someone who drinks to excess or has it around the house.

Dill, the buracracy in my field (social services) is way over the top, too. More and more paperwork, less time with clients, and the organization expects the same amount of client time despite the added work. Plus, I noticed with the government (here I go) that no matter how meticulous you are with the paperwork, it is never good enough. Never. It is truly a nightmare, and bound to get worse as the gov't gets more and more involved in every aspect of everything. You sound good though, Dill, keep strong.

Lav, what would happen if you just didn't do everything for all your family members. Said you want them to have the holidays, and you just show up? I have thought of that many times, and when I have the opportunity, having hosted so much, taken responsibility for everthing again, that when I give it to others, it has worked out. But I have to give up the control. I wonder if we MWOer's love to have control, if it is a pattern. Looking at it, it is for me. So maybe this week I will just control myself and let others work out their own lives.

I have more to say but need to get ready for work, so will try to check in tonight. Sending you all peace and strength, AF.

[Chillgirl]

October Optimism - week 1

Good Morning Optimists

Paguy - Is it today your cast comes off? Will you now start physiotherapy?

Sped - Wedding news awaited!

Dill - There are about 12 of us meeting up for dinner in Dublin. It should be fun, it will be my 1st attentance at a completely AF party, oh what a joy! There is a MIND BODY SPIRIT Festival on in Dublin that weekend so a few of us are going to that too which will be right up my street.

Lav - Will your Son or Daughter see Mr Lav today on his birthday? I liked Stars idea of you just showing up for holiday events rather than having to host them.

Papmom - Any chance of a photo of "cool car"

Cyn - Sending you some patience for enduring the workmen today

Mr G - You sound like you have found life's balance and I believe you are right that it could only be achieved by your sobriety but you have obviously put in a lot to get there and deserve the rewards. Im working on it and hope I find the peace you have.

Star - Control! Yes I love to be in control too. I always did and thats why my drinking was such a contradiction, now I do love that I know how situations will pan out, instead of the uncertaintly AL used to cause me. I think control has probably become more important now as we realize how by holding onto that we can avoid lapses.

Loving having my home back to normal and enjoying ever single peaceful moment.....

[paguy]

October Optimism - week 1

Good Morning Friends:

Hope you all had a nice weekend and are ready for the new week. My boss returns from vacation today so I am just waiting for the URGENT messages to take action on things that have been sitting in his email for a week.

RB ? Sorry to hear of your BF?s problem with AL. It?s amazing how different it looks once you stop being an enabler, doesn?t it? I experience this myself as my partner continues to drink and frequently overindulges. He has not turned aggressive or nasty towards me so I have been biting my lip. Just yesterday he was dragging his butt all day due to a hangover. I was so close to commenting on linking how he was feeling to how much wine he drank the night before but that would have sparked an argument that I wasn?t in the mood for. I know there will be some intense conversations in the coming months. I am glad you are staying firm in your commitment to be AF. You?ve done a great job and CONGRATULATIONS on your 4 month milestone!

Chill ? I only wish today was the day my cast was coming off. I have 2 more weeks :boohoo: Getting through this past weekend seemed to help me mentally and my attitude is better today. I actually spent some time hobbling around in the kitchen yesterday preparing some meals for the week and that made me feel better. I sure was exhausted last night!

Chillgirl;973095 wrote: Control! Yes I love to be in control too. I always did and thats why my drinking was such a contradiction, now I do love that I know how situations will pan out, instead of the uncertaintly AL used to cause me. I think control has probably become more important now as we realize how by holding onto that we can avoid lapses.

I never thought about it before but there really is a contradiction between many of us who are control freaks and our relationships with alcohol. As much as we thrive on being in control, the whole time we are abusing alcohol, it?s the beast that?s in control. The mind really is very complicated, isn?t it?

Rusty ? I have to admit, the excuse your suitor gave you was pretty lame. I cannot imagine making up a story like that but it?s sounding more and more like he has an accountability/credibility issue. You are strong and have a good sense of judgment. Stick with your senses!

SD ? Sounds like you are well aware of your triggers associated with your ex! Good for you for sticking to your guns and not caving. It?s a great feeling, isn?t it?

Cyn ? Good Luck with your renovations today!

I guess I have to get serious about getting ready for work today. Just thankful that I don?t have to drive the 20 miles that would usually take me 50 minutes. I?m liking this bedroom/office arrangement!

Hope you all have a happy Monday? Take Care?.

[Lavande]

October Optimism - week 1

YAWN - good moring everyone - I think :H
Overcast this morning, drizzling, yuck!

Rusty, I agree with Rustop.......go on your trip, enjoy the change of scenery & trust that everything is OK. We'll be with you in spirit, you know that!!!

Rebirth, so sorry to hear about your BFs dysfunctional behavior. Keep your needs & those of your son in the front of your mind. You don't have to tolerate that kind of behavior from your BF. I think a lot of us put up with way too much crap heaped on us by the others in our lives. Congrats to you on your 4 AF months. Keep your quit safe, no matter what!!!

SD, logging on to MWO is the best medicine when the world gives you trouble! It has saved me time & time again - good choice!

Greetings to cyn, LBH, Dill, John, G, Red(Star), Shelley & absolutely everyone!
Time to rev up my emgines, pour another cup of coffee & get moving.

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Monday!

[sooty]

October Optimism - week 1

Hi everyody and happy Monday. Sorry couldn't get here yesterday, internet problems - yet again! I only seem to go for a few days and then it goes haywire!

Anyway, my course was good, we pratised meditating and have all promised to do 15 minutes a day for the first week and then 20 mins a day for the 2nd week so I'm off to do my 15 minutes shortly cos this is the only time I've sat down all day.

I felt very calm while I was at the course but can't honestly say that the feeling stayed with me for very long once I left ....think I'll be a slow learner

Hey ho, have a good start to the week folks, shame about the Ryder cup :bigwink:

Sooty