AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

[bear73]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

hi accountable/cinders/uni - sending you positive thoughts with what you are going through at the moment. You can get through this- you've quit before,can learn from past experience and can do it again.

I got to hinking abotu feelings today and how i often don't knowwhat i feel cos i squash it odwn with alcohol/cigs - and sometime food.that has been why I've foudn it hard to lose wieght when i quit drinkign - food becomes my only security balnket.

I read something today that is so simple- but not so easy to do - and not what I'm used to doing.
recognise the feeling
feel it (don't avoid it through booze/cigs/excess food)
express it

I've battled with weight for years - 90% of the time I don't eat through hunger but through fear/anger/procrastination/boredeom or 'as a treat'.

Uni - that seems to fit with what you're experiencing at the moment - our blankets are gone. It also fits with the idea that we stop developing emotionally at the age we get seriosuly stuck into the booze - for me that's 19/20

[greeneyes]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

bear, I heard naming the fear is helpful.

[Gaia]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

Hello again,

Uni I think you are really doing great to stay with your feelings and commit to working on them. This will give you the strength to keep AL out of your life. I agree with Greenie - naming the fear helps to fight it. That moment must have been a defining one for you.

Hi Bear and Lav and Det. Accountable hello to you. I see you have a lot of posts but I haven't run into you before - are you putting together a plan for what you want to do from here on out?

Hi LV glad you stayed cool!

I just turned on the heat. Brr.

[Accountable for Me]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

Gaia, I use to post a lot in these forums. Not so much over the last year or so. My life was good, sober, and busy!

Just having some really emotionally draining times with my dad dying, and teenager who is 17 going on 30. I cracked. I am upset about it. Of course I couldn't just have 1 either. Went on a bit of a binge for a couple of days.

The only thing I can do is just hop back into the game. I need to really learn how to control these stressful situations before running for the bottle. Another downer is that I chain-smoke when I drink, so I am definitely feeling awful today. Getting lots of good food and fluids in though. Which has helped.

Just need to recommit myself. Get back into the land of the living. Get off my pity pot and be me more aware. I need to recommit myself back to this community as well.

Yes, I agree it is cold. I turned my heat on two days ago! Way early for here!

[bear73]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

I chain smoke when drinking as well - I'm very orally fixated - food booze cigs!

Gonna be interesting actually dealing with my feelings and communicating them honestly to people - rather than trying to pretend 'everything's fine' and 'I really don't mind' - when it's not always fine and I do sometimes mind!

[Cinders]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

AFM,

It is good to see you back. I am sorry you drank but at least you are willing to get right back up and keep fighting.

You keep fighting to, girlfriend!!

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

Yes, Det, my ears are burning, my face is burning..

I am extremely embarrassed about my behavior.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

AFM:l Uni:l Cindi:l

Never give up.

I had the last quandrant of my long neglected teeth cleaned today. I'm sure it is no accident that the most difficult section was done last. Ouch. I hope we did this in time so I don't start losing teeth prematurely. As the dentist said, that would be a shame since (thankfully and luckily) there are no cavities other than a couple fillings I've had since childhood. I'm gonna be flossin' my fingers to the bone.

AL neglect. Consequences. When I really think about the vast array of consequences of my drinking, this list is pretty long. And here I thought I HAD no consequences since I never had a DUI and never offically lost my job or husband due to drinking. (who cares that I wanted to kill myself).

Cunning, baffling, powerful indeed.

One thing is for sure. That YB (Yo Bastard) AL is not gettin' the best of me today. Take that AL. :b&d:

DG

[Lavande]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

AFM, it is good to see you back - sorry about the circumstances though. I've been through a lot of the situations you mentioned myself. I do know how difficult it all can be. Hang in there & take good care of YOU! Same for you Cindi & Uni!

I received some sad news this afternoon & need to process this. A very good old friend has just had bilateral mastectomies for in situ breast cancer. What a brave soul she is - she never mentioned it till all was done. We used to live in the same town, our kids grew up together - we even worked at the same hospital for many years. She insists she is OK & that her husband has been a wonderful nurse. This of course got me thinking about myself & my current situation. Isn't this what long married couples are supposed to do for each other? God help us all!

EB was here & I am now totally exhausted. I'm pretty sure it will be an early night for me
Wishing everyone a peaceful night.

Lav

[Pride before Fall]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

Sleep tight, Lav. :l

[greeneyes]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

Determinator;974095 wrote: I guess the best thing we can do in the meantime is to set a good example in our own behaviours. Positive, happy, healing people that don't let things get us down

I absolutely agree. By being that, we not only raise our vibration but magnify all good vibration and which helps others open up to raise theirs and thus the whole planet. I think what happens when I loose my mojo is that I loose my vibration point. I'm learning things to do to resume it. Kinda like learning to whistle. Just in this community, I think it is good for people to see others with solid sobriety and living life in a fuller way. I remember seeing people who had achieved some lengthy sobriety time and thinking... I want that! You can't help feeling that energy and wanting it.

Everybody get all snug on the wagon here and have sweet AF dreams. All is well and as it should be.

[Determinator]

AF Tueday - October 5, 2010

oh AFM, sorry your feeling rough, I'd say the soup is a good start. you know what to do, so stay close and hope on the AB train with us.

Cindi, embarrassment just sucks doesn't it? man, you think we'd be used to it by now, oh well. glad to see you.

ok, off to chat.....