October Optimism - Week 2

[dill]

October Optimism - Week 2

Sped, I googled the barefoot marathoner. How awesome!!! You must be so proud.

Lav, the rain has begun here just moments ago. We are in drought conditions, so it is welcome.

Pap, I hope the rain clears away for your nephews party on Sunday.

LBH, I also googled Frida Kahlo. Once again I have learned something completely new and unknown to me. I love this thread! I also love the image of you hiding under a table in a formal gown just waiting for your moment.

Good night, Optimizers.

[papmom3]

October Optimism - Week 2

I second the motion of buying property in Maine and all of us "retiring" to live there!! Must have an ocean view tho!! Mr. G is welcome to come and serenade us anytime he wants. All dogs, cats and chickens welcome too!!

Had an OK session with my new therapist tonite. She spent a good part of the beginning talking up her all women's group. As soon as I found out there is a copay for each meeting I lost interest. The rest of the hour was pretty disjointed on my part. I was all over the place. But, my homework is to put on paper what would make me happy in my job and in life. Sort of a wish list I guess but within reason. Not the "money is no object" list. I'll see her again in 2 and a half weeks.

Getting late and it's been a very long day so I'll say nitety nite and go cuddle up with "Lit" and the furkids.

:l

[cyntree]

October Optimism - Week 2

What a lot of news!!! But first and foremost, PAGuy - Bravo to you!!!!! (If I were clever I would also post emoticons, but as it is you'll just have to imagine me jumping around me office in a little cheer). Yes, in fact I think it DID make us all feel special to have you place your 1,000th post here - I think you did too, RB? And congrats on the 3 months, especially particularly given the difficulties of the last weeks. Inspiring, and thanks so much for being here - that was a wonderful post.

Rusty, and Sped travel safe safe safely, please. Sooty, can you take over as their virtual driver?

SD - I think that conversation with your son is amazing, and it should make YOU proud - of yourself for your committment, and of yourself for raising such a sensitive sweet amazing son. Glad to hear about your classes adding up well.

Lav and LBH - stay strong, so sorry for the Silence, uuuugh. Glad to hear about the smudging, Lav.

Thank you, LBH for the primer on Frida Kahlo. For those who didn't google her; she's the Mexican artist whose eyebrows are very dark and almost grow together - you'd know her if you see her. Her life story is an incredible journey of injury, pain overcome, prejudices overcome, olympian heartache from her famous artist husband, on and on. But her spirit was incredibly resilient. Selma Hayek (sp?) made the movie several years ago, and it is terrific. (lots of drinking goes on in it, though, so don't watch if that's a problem for you - it is for me...) Anyway, my stepdaughter just turned 40 and has NEVER been given a birthday party. (Parents a little too self-absorbed?) So I said that we had to throw one for her. The Frida theme came about because she lived for awhile in Santa Fe, the 3 of us watched the Frida film on New Year's Eve in NYC one year, she loves Mexico, she's traveled to see Kahlo exhibits, etc etc. So we will have a good time making true Mexican food. In fact, Sped and LBH, she has been in Santa Fe for the last 3 days, and I had her go to The Spanish Table and get all the ingredients for Paella - plus another 17 inch paella pan. That will be the centerpiece of the feast. I can't quite decide if I should get a pinata and fill it will 'adult' gifts....hmmmm....

Well, must get moving now and finish painting the kitchen, then going to try to put together a DVD of the birthday girl's pictures from all her decades to show during the party. I'll probably still be online when you get up, Chill (when you get done dreaming about McDreamy)!

Take care everyone, you are all special gifts to me.

[sdlovespackers]

October Optimism - Week 2

Just checking in to say good night!! Thanks for all the kind words everyone regarding my son!!! He truly is my life and I love him with all my heart and soul!!
Cyn-your party sounds awesome!! Brayden's FAVORITE food...he asks for it for every birthday dinner is paella!! WE love it!!! My parents are the ones who makes it for us...it's wonderful...they learned over in Spain years ago and we still make it all the time usually for big family get togethers, as it makes a TON!!! YUMMY!!!

Well...I need to get to bed...it's soooo late....I spent way to long on the phone with my sister tonight talking or rather rehashing or whatever my father and I's strained/severed at this moment relationship...BUT that's a whole different topic to save for another day!
Good Night Friends!
SD:l

[rustop61]

October Optimism - Week 2

One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's
stories.
--Rebecca Falls

Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding is the third.
--Marge Piercy

I think the above really sums up this thread. It is indeed very special with so many wonderful people on it from all over the world and lots more in common than our buddy Al.

John - You made us feel even more special yesterday by saving your 1,000th post for us.

Cyn - What you are doing for your stepdaughter for her birthday is amazing.

Rusty and Sped - Travel safe

LBH and Lav - Hang in there, you both will resolve things with your hubbies and I think you are right to put a timeframe on it.

Chill - Nice to hear that you have another date, you will have to fill us in on all the details.

SD - Family relationships can be a nightmare. I am currently doing a meditation course and the theme this week was to respond not react and of course deep breathing!!! Very appropriate where family are concerned.

Rebirth, Sooty, Star, Dill, Guitarista and anyone else I missed big hello and have a great Thursday.

Rustop

[rebirth]

October Optimism - Week 2

Good morning abbers

John congratulations on 1000 posts and your three months!! Here's to another 1000 sober posts right?

I will try and read up on everyone's posts but i have been very busy the past few weeks. Hope everyone is fine and dandy!
x

[Chillgirl]

October Optimism - Week 2

Good Morning my friends

Sorry for the long post, as Doggygirl says "better grab a sandwich" :H

Cyn - I really hope you have gone to bed by now and are not still painting! Love the photo DVD idea for the party.

Paguy - Welcome to the Seniors I loved your post so much and could feel your enthusiasm. Isnt it wonderful what being AF can mean to us, one of the reasons I stay here is to be reminded of that. I echo so many of your feelings about our virtual community. I have never been part of anything like this and looking back on this year I cant believe how important a part of my life it is and how I think about you all in my daily life.

I feel such a close bond with people here and part of that is because i have never in my life been so honest, not even with myself. The drinking brings such denial and in the early days I could literally feel the veil being pulled away from my eyes leaving the truth blatently in my face. I then shared it all on this site, pouring my heart out in what felt like therapy. Whenever anything happens in my life, I tell you guys 1st before I decide who in my real world I want to share it with. Here I dont need to be concerned about who might tell who or how I should word it so you dont judge me, I can be "me" and that has been a huge part of my recovery.

Hearing about everyone else's challenges also helps gain perspective on our own lives and makes us see our similarities in this human experience. Yes, our lives are all very different but underneath we are essentially all the same. We all need somewhere to live, something it eat and someone to love....
Rustops quote sums this up nicely -

rustop61;981045 wrote: One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories.

SD - What a heart wrenching moment when your Son said "well... you havent been drinking". Its such a painful thing to hear in one way but a potent reminder of your most important reason to stay sober.

Sped - The clip of the barefoot marathoner wasnt available to me in Portugal. I cant believe people run like this! What on earth is the state of your Son's feet afterwards? Are they not ripped and bleeding?

I went to see the movie EAT PRAY LOVE yesterday and although Id read the book a few years ago and knew the story, it touched me so deeply. I could see so much of myself in the story, my inability to let go of the past and forgive myself for getting things wrong, my desperate spiritual seeking to try and heal myself and how I need to be prepared to let go of the balance I now have and take a chance on love.

[Stargazerlily]

October Optimism - Week 2

Good morning all!

John, wonderful, wonderful on your three months AF. Your words show that you are growing stronger and more determined in your new life, valuing and liking the real you who is a warm and lovely human being. You are so kind and giving, it comes through in your posts. May you continue growing in your sobriety and helping all of us on our journeys. We are here for you and look forward to your posts.

Cyn, cool party. I saw the move on Frida and read a book or two about her. The drinking in the movie and the books do not bother me because it was so sad and sick. I thought her husband was a horrible person, but realize that their lifestyle was chosen and bohemian. Meaning, anything goes. However, she was hurt over and over again, and it reflected in her art, which is strangely beautiful, but hard for me to look at. She lived in an interesting time.

Lav and LBH, good luck in the relationship marriage areas. Lav, I was thinking that sometimes, not answering is an answer. It is so complicated. When I was young, things seemed so simple, now that I am older, they are not.

Dill, glad you are feeling better. Everyone in my house is ill, colds and stomach flu. Yuck, I hope I don't get sick.

Rustop, I am loving your quotes so much. A wonderful reflection on what these threads are about. Thanks for being there.

Sped, thinking of you getting ready to go....be safe and enjoy.

SD, you are surely on the right path. Our children usually know more than we think, even when they are little. The trust he has in you, the fact that he is happier than usual, and able to express his feelings shows that you have raised him to speak his mind, always a good thing. We are all here to listen to your story and support you in any way we can.

Chill, your posts are always such a joy to read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I too feel close to the people on this thread and value the relationships. That is why I try to visit every day.

Have to get ready for work, so hello to all the rest of this optimistic october group.

[paguy]

October Optimism - Week 2

Good Morning Fellow Optimisers!

Lots of good stuff happening here ? we are such an introspective group and the momentum seems to keep building.

Rustop ? I love the theme of your meditation class, ?respond not react?. Boy, would I be a better person if I mastered that skill! And, I know a few of my closest friends (including Mr. Partner) who could benefit from learning how to respond instead of reacting. This is a little golden nugget that I am going to work on.

SD ? You really should be so proud of your son. What an amazing little fellow he must be. I can?t imagine the look he had in his eyes and the joy you felt in your heart when he said he was glad that you weren?t drinking any more. You are so lucky to have him in your life.

On the topic of barefoot runners ? I ran in six 5K races last Spring and I met a fellow who ran all of the races barefoot. I remember assembling at the starting line and looking down at the ground and seeing that this guy was barefoot! He said that when he ran with running shoes he was very prone to injuries and since he started to run barefoot, he hadn?t a single injury. I never saw him at the end of any of the races so I?m not sure how his feet looked afterwards but I?m going to stick to running in my New Balance running shoes!

Right now I am reading ?Peony in Love? by Lisa See. Most guys would categorize this one as a ?chick book? but I guess I am a hopeless romantic. I?m just about half-way through and I?m enjoying it. The setting is 17th century China and the storyline is about arranged marriages, unfulfilled loved and the spiritual afterlife. Learning lots of interesting Chinese traditions, including the horrific act of foot-binding ? very interesting so far.

Well folks, I need to tackle the email abyss for work right now. Hope you all have a splendid day?.

[dill]

October Optimism - Week 2

Good morning all,

Chill, it's funny you asked about his feet. The reporter asked the same question and he picked up his foot and the camera panned over to the bottom and the reporter looked at and actually touched the bottom of his foot and it was in perfect condition! Not even callouses.

Cyn and Star, you have both piqued my interest even further about Frida Kahlo. I will be adding the movie to my Netflix queu. Oh, and Cyn, it is easy to add emoticons to a post. Just click on the Go Advanced button and they appear in the window. Just click on the one you want and it will appear in the post wherever your cursor is. The buttons at the top of the post window allow you to change size, color and font of your texts.

Thank you for the quotes this morning, Rustop. Both were very descriptive of our thread.

SD, I remember your relationship with your father from your old days of posting. What I remember most is that one issue between you was his drinking, especially when your son was around. I sure hope things get smoothed out. Family relationships are sometimes difficult, but so important.

Rebirth, pictures?

Most on this thread remember that it was just a little over a year ago that my oldest brother passed away. Well, it is three years ago this past weekend that my closest brother passed away. I miss them both dearly. Last weekend I had a strange experience. I saw someone at a distance that looked very much like my close brother, although 20 years younger. While I was totally conscious of the fact that the person was not my brother, a momentary feeling swept over me as I looked at him: a feeling like my brother was "with me". It was a strange and comforting moment and I am grateful for having had it.

Well, have a wonderful AF Thursday, friends.

[dill]

October Optimism - Week 2

Hi, Paguy, crosspost! That seems to happen often.

[spedteach]

October Optimism - Week 2

Morning everyone,
Restless night. Talk about going to bed mad. My husband finally wanted to discuss our marriage at 10 o'clock last night. He wants credit for getting me sober. He doesn't want to separate, he wants a divorce. He wants me to quit being such a b#$ch.
I just want to get out of here. We are obviously in need for some kind of mediation. I have a highly recommended counselor. Am going to try to set up an appointment for the middle of November when I'm back here working for a week.

SD, your conversation with your son made me sad. Can't tell you how many of those conversations I've had with my "boys" over the years. Hope it helps you stay sober. Even that didn't help me.
As someone who works in an elementary school, I always thought the counselors had the greatest job. Are you wanting to be a principal?

Papmom, I'll count my change jar before leaving this morning. Maybe we'll have enough for a down payment on some land in Maine. I have a good friend/fellow teacher whose family owns a "compound" in southern Maine. Acreage and 3 houses on the coast of southern Maine. I'll ask her if they are looking for a buyer!
I do go to a woman's therapy group and happily pay a copay. Have been in this group for about a year and it has been an eye opening, liberating experience, in part because of my therapist's invaluable insight.

John, I know so many barefoot runners, I forget that there are parts of the country where it hasn't caught on yet. Of course warmer climates are going to make barefooting much easier. It will be interesting to see what my son does in the middle of an Indiana winter. His feet, by the way, are smooth and beautiful. I am running the half marathon in Denver in vibrams (like a rubber glove on your foot). Makes you run light on your feet, baby steps.

Too bad LBH and I missed our zoo trip. We'll do it in November. Had a good phone chat. It's interesting, I have never spoken to her on the phone before.

Lav, what are your plans if the week passes with no word from Mr. Lav?

Waiting for the sun to come up. One more run before race day.

[Lavande]

October Optimism - Week 2

The spirits are trying to prevent me from posting today :H
The first time I tried my laptop decided it was time to update itself & without warning just shut down. The second time I got a few lines written & the entire post disappeared.

I'm going to listen to the spirits & just say hello, have a nice day

Lav

[papmom3]

October Optimism - Week 2

Hey Sped-your friend wouldn't be one of the Kennedy's by any chance? :H :H

The heck with buying the compound-how about if we just rent one of the houses? and I think I'm 3/4 serious!!

I am interested in the women's group but right now I have less then $50 in my flexible spending account for the year and have no money budgeted for extra copays. I shut down because even when I told her that and said I'd like to revisit in the new year, she kept trying to sell it to me.

I'm so sorry your not so dear H chose late last nite to finally unburden himself. Is this typical of men? Make sure you don't delay in taking care of yourself mentally and financially. I wouldn't want to see the rug pulled out from underneath you while you're gone.

Lav-may the good computer gods swoop down and vanquish the evil ones today so we can stay in touch with you.

Dill-I'm sorry to hear that sad anniverseries are here for you. How comforting to see your brother's spirit in another person. go with that.

OK, wicked late for work so gotta log off now.

Have a great day and for us in the northeast-batten down the hatches!!

[rebirth]

October Optimism - Week 2

Dill I havnt forgotten the pictures. I was going to take them at the weekend but the weather was atrocious again. I am waiting for a glorious weekend so I can dazzle you with the english countryside. Everthing looks far too grey in this weather.

Oh Dill, It must have been a heartfelt moment to see that guy who reminded you of your brother. I have never experienced a loss such as yours. It frightens me…

Sped I remember my divorce very well.It was a difficult time for me and I drank like a fish. It made matters much much worse. I remember one incident when hubby and me had a nasty arguement while drinking. I ended up smashing ALL my crockery against the kitchen wall while my husband watched tv and ignored me. I am embarassed at my behaviour. I am embarassed by a lot of things I did during that times. Most of them would not have happened if I hadnt drank so much either.
It’s great that you are running and staying healthy. I wish I had done the same.

A warm hello to everyone