October Optimism - Week 3

[rustop61]

Hi everyone

Just thought I would get us started on our 3rd week. This is just a quick check in as I have a lot on today. Hairdressers, shopping for party/neighbourhood gathering next week. Daughter back from her adventure week with school so have to an extra school pick up!! These are some of the thoughts I received in my daily readings:

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
--Carl Jung

"Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and
imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and
growing."
--Jim Rohn

Choochie - Welcome, this is a great thread.

Dill - How sad that you lost 2 brothers. I am sure they are both with you in spirit. I have lost a lot of close family members and really felt it last week at my daughters 18th.

Chill - Good luck with the date tonight.

Everyone else big hello and have a great week-end.

Rustop

[Rusty]

October Optimism - Week 3

Good Morning Everyone!

I have returned safely home...."There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home." ( Wizard of Oz). I am just getting caught up on everyone's posts as I was having computer issues on Wednesday and couldn't post but read each post at least twice.

Rustop-thanks for getting us started today. I was thinking of you the other day because in one of your previous posts, you quoted Dale Carnegie, and when I was at the Dublin Airport, I picked up a copy of his book, ]How to Win Friends and Influence People. It is fantastic! I wish I would have read this 25 years ago....it could have saved me lots of trouble in my career with all the mistakes I made.

Paguy-CONGRATULATIONS ON 3 MONTHS AF and 1,000 POSTS!::yay: You are a wonderful addition to this thread and I got very choked up when you talked about your virtual friends here. I feel the same way, and MWO was my first experience with any kind of online support group/chat room and I'm so glad I found it.

Sped-So sorry about your husband's dumping the news on you at ten at night that he wants a divorce:upset: HE wants credit for getting you sober and then calls you a b%tch?:b&d: Nice guy. I'm sure you thanked him. Not. Wishing you good luck at your marathon tomorrow. Now, can I put GOOD LUCK SHELLEY in big bold letters...please, please?

Papmom-loved the pics of your dogs and of Maine! What a great camera you have! Your dogs are soooo cute! Yup, I vote that a bunch of us rent a house on the beach in Maine. Were the Fall colors outstanding?

SD-I got teary-eyed reading the story about your son. What a great kid. You probably would agree that your son is the finest prize to come out of your marriage. You are raising a winner! Good for you. Yeah, about those Packer tickets. You'd think since I'm a shareholder in my family's business that my brother (company president) would give me tickets to a game? NOOOOOOOOO! He gives them to customers. Those pesky customers....always wanting free tix! LOL

Ladybird-I was heartbroken to read your post about Lord Birdheart. I will be thinking of you today....so sorry you're going through this.:l

Dill, I am so sorry about the deaths of your dear brothers:l I am sure that seeing that man who reminded you of your brother was a sign from your brother that he's with you in spirit. I pray that my remaining 2 brothers, sister and mother last a long, long time....I would hate to think of how I would react to their passing. Something tells me I would jump right back into a bottle. Thank you, also, for your instructions on how to use Photobucket. I appreciated you taking the time to show us how, even with your stressful job and in your sadness this week.

Cyn-how sweet of you to throw a birthday party for your stepdaughter. I bet she loves you in more ways than she knows how to express. And paella, YUM! I haven't had it in a long time but I love love love it!

Star-how is your son doing these days? Did he find a job or has he decided about school yet?

Lav-what are you going to do if Mr. Lav doesn't give you an answer this week?

Rebirth-I think those spots on your face are stress-related. I have the same problem from time to time....usually when I am extremely anxious about something....usually it's job-related.

Choochie-Congrats on all your AF days!

Chill-I agree with everyone here....your posts are always so positive, and I'm proud of you for holding your head up high during your financial crisis and staying AF! Good for you and sending you lots of hugs from across the pond.

Sooty-how are you doing, my favorite bus driver?

G-keep strummin'. Sometimes I go back and play your music when I need an Aussie lift :-)

October 13 was a milestone date for me as well as being PA's 3 month AF anniversary. It was 2 years ago October 13 that my family confronted me about my drinking and demanded I go into Rehab. that night! I was filled with such shame and anger. My sister had gone behind my back to my doctor to find out what meds I was on and if I was mixing them with booze. I was so mad at her for betraying me but I know now she just was so worried about me, she thought I might hurt myself or others. My mom told me on the 13th that she was so proud of me for being AF (she had forgotten the 2-yr. date).

I'm writing about my experience because PA's post about how MWO has helped him mirrors my thoughts exactly. The sad thing is.....doctors don't even suggest anything other than AA and/or Rehab. They never suggest Antabuse or Baclofen or an online support group. I do not mean to offend anyone here who likes AA but why don't these doctors think out of the box once in a while? There are options to AA that can be just as effective or even more effective (in my case) than AA or another 12-step program. I look back where I was 2 years ago and I just cringe....I was such a train wreck. This October 13 was a joyful, AF day for me. I was smiling all day long!

To anyone I have missed, hello!

Have a wonderful AF Friday, everyone!

xoxox

Rusty

[Chillgirl]

October Optimism - Week 3

Rusty - How lovely to have you back! You breezed in there with a mountain of enthusiam that I could feel through the internet....

I just wanted to share my calendar affirmation from yesterday which many of us will relate to:- "I have the strength to remain calm in the face of change"

[Stargazerlily]

October Optimism - Week 3

Good morning to all!!!

Rusty, thanks for starting the new week. I was touched by your story about your family intervention and so happy that you have made such changes. They must love you alot to have faced your wrath and taken such steps. I guess doctors recommend AA and rehab because that is what they know. AA is not for everyone, and rehab does not always work either. But, they are good places to start. I agree that the MWO program was a better fit for me. And you too, obviously. I am going to the library today and will look for that Dale Carnegie book. It is always so wonderful to come home after a trip with all the comforts and peace of your familiar special place. I know I feel like that after a day at work, sometimes. My son is taking a short course to get some type of a job, then is looking into school. Of course, he got sick right away, missed a day, then did laundry and ink all over my dryer. Nothing traumatic, but that is his pattern. All over the place. I pray that he can focus and attract good energy to himself. He is so lonely for people his own age, but with no money, it is impossible to go out. So, he is OK and going in the right direction, but it is hard.

Sped, sounds like your husband was angry and trying to be hurtful. And he was. My experience with my husband is that he won't talk about something, then when he does it just all comes out. And anger is the easiest emotion. But, the source of anger is almost always fear and pain. I agree with others who say protect yourself financially and in every other way. I would be checking my bank accounts and looking into a lawyer. Just for protection. Maybe I am too cynical, but positive energy, peace and protection are being sent your way.

Lav, you have been more than patient. What a dilemma. We are here for you.

John, I agree with you that it is so much better to respond than to react. I am going to be working on that this week.

Dill, my dear dilly, what a touching story. Our loved ones live on in our memories and in the times that someone or something reminds us of them, and all our memories come rushing in. I have been thinking so much about my mom in the last day or two. I miss her. I know you miss your brothers, and am thankful your relationships were so loving and meaningful. Grief is like a wave, it comes and it goes. My belief in the afterlife is so important to me because I believe that we will see our loved ones when we pass. My brother, kind of an atheist, told me that when my mom was in hospice, and in a coma, she opened her eyes, looked at an empty spot in the room and said, "Is that really you?" He was shaken by the experience. I was jealous that I was not there at the time. I believe wholeheartedly in experiences like that, but came to understand that he probably was there to give him something to think about. So, I believe that you will see your brothers again.

I have more to say but looked at the clock and have to get ready for work. Have a wonderful AF day.

[Rusty]

October Optimism - Week 3

Rustop,

I just wanted to add that my little layover in Ireland has made me want to go there even more. I am really thinking about figuring it into my trip to Paris next November.

[paguy]

October Optimism - Week 3

Good Morning Everyone and Happy Friday!

I was convinced that this was going to be a god awful slow week but here it is Friday already. 3 more days and I?ll be doing my ?happy dance?. Probably more like a ?happy wobble? ? cast comes off on MONDAY!

I am so sorry to hear of some of the troubled relationships with spouses on this thread. I am a guy and I?ll be the first to admit that some men can be real d**ks. I have one sister who has been married for 40 years and god bless her for what she puts up with from her husband. I don?t know how she does it but frankly I think she feels trapped. She is well provided for and is financially sound, but the control issues and mental stress must be exhausting. We don?t have the type of sibling relationship where we talk about these types of issues but when my mother was alive, she and I would talk about it all the time. I am wishing you all strength and fortitude as you work through these issues.

Rusty ? Welcome Home! I always say, the best thing about going away is being able to come home. I enjoy traveling and seeing different places but for me, there is no place better than home sweet home. And, hey ? it?s nice to share an anniversary date (Oct 13) with you!

Chill ? Something tells me you are going to be much more relaxed on your date tonight. Hope you have a nice time!

Sped ? Good luck with your half-marathon tomorrow! I?ll be thinking of you and will send you some extra energy vibes?

Greetings to everyone else and I hope you all have a peaceful Friday?..

[Lavande]

October Optimism - Week 3

Good morning friends - finally!

I'm pulling myself back up after last nigh't knockdown. After a long & strainned talk with Mr Lav I had no choice but to tell him to stay where he is. His thinking hasn't changed a bit. He's paranoid in telling me that I read his mind & tell him how to feel about things. That is absolutely ridiculous!!!! If I could read minds & control the behavior of others I sure wouldn't have slaved away in the nursing profession for nearly 30 years. OMG - he is just nuts! He can continue to stay where he is - dysfunction junction!

Rusty, don't forget to call me before next year's trip :H

I wish all of us a great AF Friday
Lav

[Rusty]

October Optimism - Week 3

Lav,

We must have both watched Schoolhouse Rock on TV years ago. "Conjunction junction, what's your functionnnnnn?" HAHAHAAHAH!

I am going to the Louvre and Notre Dame next year, and, and, and, squeezing in a beach vacation in the south of France. Wanna go? Huh, huh, huh?

What is it with men who expect us just to put up with their f#&ked up behavior....we're just supposed to lie down and take it?! This is not 1945! Gee, guys, guess what? Women are educated now (and have been for a very long time) and we can make our own money....drumroll please....without you!!!

[sooty]

October Optimism - Week 3

Hello all, intermittent internet again and I don't know how long its going to work for so just a quick check in from me.
Have a happy AF Friday everyone - things ok this end, I hope we're all keeping strong and safe
Talk more later
Sooty

[sdlovespackers]

October Optimism - Week 3

Good Morning!
Not sure I checked in yesterday...strange??? Hmmm...well here I am today!!
Choochie--A big hello and welcome!! Congrats on 11 AF days!!! That's great!! You are correct..this is an amazing group of people...for sure!!

Sped--I was kind of shocked too by your husband response....sounds a lot was said out of anger on his part. This kind of goes for LBH and Lav as well...not that I'm by any means an expert or giving advice...but for me...going round and round doing the same thing and expecting a different reaction or outcome was...yep, we all know...insanity. And like with AL...rounding that corner (the scariest part) and just saying enough is enough and taking control...for me was the best thing I ever di (for myself in my decision with my marriage). I was beating my head against the wall for years, blaminng myself...and I believe it was Lav that said...he was miserable when I was drinking and now that O've stopped he's still miserable (maybe not those exact words)....but I found no matter WHAT I DID to chane MY behaviour or HOW MUCH counseling I GOT..I NEVER made Mr. SD any happier...he just wasn't a happy person himself...probably with himself..and wasn't able or couldn't talk to me (or anyone) about it! For my sanity, I had to move on...yes I drank a lot to cope because it still hurt and was hard...but hey, I'm geting help with that too now right! WHOA!!!! I'm stepping down OFF THE SOAP BOX!! I'm so sorry for all that!!!

Moving on...yikes.... RB wish I could help with the spots...I say get some good make up! :H I know some help! Everything I had was in the last paragragh!! LOL!!!

Chill--Have fun on the date!! Sounds like you've been communicating throughout the week, so it should be way more relaxed!! Enjoy!!!

Dill--Sorry this is a sad month for you, but I'm happy to hear your brother(s) are here with you in spirit!! I believe we all have guarduian angels...yours must be your brother!:h Do you and your husband go fishing on Lake Erie? I've actaully been Walleye fishing on that lake...so beautiful!! I'm going to try to remember where we stayed....I'll let you know if it comes to me....cool little town!!

Rust61-I loved your Carl Jung quote on what irritates us about others...also kinds worries me...I kinda have a long list :H What does that mean!!! HAHAHA!!!

Rusty--Welcome home!! Thanks fo rsharing about the 13th. SOunds like you have an amazing family that cares incredibly for you!! You have a lot to be thatnkful for!! As for football...I'm actually looking at going to the Vikings game on the 7th...Brayden doesn't want to wait and go see the Packers play the Vikings...he said "we always have to go to that game!" OK???? Which is fine with me...Arizona tickets are cheaper anyway! Heehee!

Star--You have such a nice way with words (like LBH)...so kind in what you say to everyone!! That's awsome!! Thank you!!!

Paguy--glad to hear the cast comes off soon!!! YEA!!! You'll be wobbling in no time!!

Lav--(((BIG HUG))) for you!!! Take of yourself!!! Remember, you deserve only the best in life...in everything!!

Sooty--Glad to see you pop in this morning!! Have a wonderful afternoon!!

Well...I better get busy...I'll check back into tonight!! Hope this Friday finds everyone feeling fine, good, groovy...whatever!
Peace!
SD

[Stargazerlily]

October Optimism - Week 3

Early Friday evening and my day is moving along.

Work was OK, I went out for lunch, and then cleaned house. The usual. My husband felt sicker, so just went to a Med Point. I will pick up his medicine as soon as he gets back. I just didn't want to sit in a room with a bunch of sick people. I am happy I got a flu shot, I hope it keeps me well.

Rusty, it is so difficult to face our mistakes, but you are doing just that, so please give yourself credit. You are making things as right as you can. What more can anyone do? But I know the pain of regrets, I think we all do. It is hard to find a person to be in a relationship with who is willing to work 50/50 on everything. And sometimes it just doesn't work out. But, I know that there are good guys out there.

Have a great AF evening everyone.

[sooty]

October Optimism - Week 3

hi again, just logging on to say goodnight (its 10.20 p.m. here) I hope Friday has gone well for us all.
Have a good weekend - see you all tomorrow
love Sooty

[Lavande]

October Optimism - Week 3

Rusty :H:H

My Mom always said men are just stupid (pardon me John, not you)!
IMHO some men are real D-CKS (and I don't mean ducks) :H

I spent 2 days in Nice.........with a bunch of high school girls. We took the overnight train from Paris. Very cool, glad I have that memory.

I'm not going to do a lot of whinning so I'll just wish everyone a G'nite.

Papmom, any snow up your way? We had all rain yesterday - that was plenty for me.

Lav

[Chillgirl]

October Optimism - Week 3

A very quick late check in from me, it's 2.30am but I had to share my BIG smile.....
date with McDreamy went very well and I feel like I'm 16 again. Usually I came home from dates and sat on the end of my Mums bed and told her all the details so you guys are getting it instead, *sign* he's absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait to see him again! :h

[paguy]

October Optimism - Week 3

Ah, Golly!! :h :h