AF Daily - Monday October 18

[Doggygirl]

OK. G-Bloke has the picnic basket. P3 has the popcorn. The rest of us have the noise makers. Now. We're off to find Marshy and NGF--->GF. What artsy thing did Marshy say we were going to????

Well, that all sounds like a lot more fun than going makeupless to business activities today. (I know...I know...) I will survive it though.

Does AFM have a new doggy???

Time to go make some breakfast and get the day rockin'. One thing is for sure.....there will be no AL in my life today.

DG

[Gaia]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Marking? How is the vision, DG?

Oh today is another busy day. Nonstop it will be. I was feeling stressed last night but then told myself that it will be ok. It WILL be ok.

I am troubled today. My dad is nearly dead from alcohol abuse. To give you an idea, he has pleurosy (feet so swollen normal shoes won't fit). He throws up when he goes up a staircase. He is full of fluid. He is a late stage alcholic who has been told if he drinks he'll die. Today is his birthday. I spoke to him last night and I'm pretty sure he'd been drinking. He was slurring, his tone was batty, he was putting attention on me rather than talking about him. I have very confused feelings.

Am I wrong about his drinking yesterday? Do I tell my mom? How can she not know? But before she would always defend him saying "he's not drinking." and it was a lie. Do I talk to him? What if I cause a big mess by confronting him? Maybe he's better to be left to die because at this point I don't think he's going to change.

I dreamed I drank poison last night, to test my body. I drank some red stuff, and then some black stuff. Then I started feeling sick and was searching for an antidote.

In a troubled way,
T.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Oh Gaia.... :l Your post made me think of one of the guys I have tried in the past to help who is also a late stage alcoholic with some of the symptoms you describe. It is so heartbreaking to watch and I can't imagine how much more heartbreaking when it's your Dad. Is there any hope he will decide he wants to change or does it seem past that?

DG

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

{{{{Gaia}}}} Nothing is worse than loving someone who is trashing himself. Very painful to watch, but impossible for you to control. Is it likely that confronting him this late in the disease will change his behavior or your mother's?

My two cents: if there's a celebration for his birthday, try and focus on what you love about him and let go of the rest. If you get there and he's been drinking, let him know it's too painful to see him like this, that you love him, and then go home and get ready for the big date with Marshy's XNGF.

Now I'll stick on my Freudian dream interpretation hat and say the poison is the crap of life, and the antidote is living well--which you're doing.

xoxo Pride

[universal]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Hi everyone,

Gaia, my heart is breaking for your confusion and sadness today. My father is also a late stage alcoholic and it is sad to watch. I agree with Pride to think about the love today on his birthday and to leave if it is too painful to watch.

Today I have a therapist appt and just some running around, tidying, homework etc.

One thing is for sure....


xoxo
uni

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Good day Uni and Pride!

I don't know what is going on in the woods here but the coyotes are going NUTS. The screechy sounds they make are so eery.....nothing like dogs or even beagles.

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

GM DG, Gaia, Pride & all Abbers to come!

Dream interpretation can be a funny thing. A month or two ago I had a dream that my Mom (dead 24 years) told me in a rather hostile way that she was pregnant!!! What the hell did that mean? Well my daughter & DIL are both pregnant right now & there still isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish I could have a chat with my Mom.........I still miss her so much.

I'm taking the afternoon off & meeting a friend for lunch. I hope my frustration level comes down a bit because I feel an explosion in the works! YB showed up Saturday, parked his boat in the driveway, ate dinner, watched the baseball game & left. I haven't heard from him since. Looks like I'm just being used again to feed his egocentric personality.

Gaia, sorry about your Dad. I'm sure watching his decline is quite difficult. I don't think I would stir up anything with your parents at this point. Would it really make any difference in the long run? Just watch out for yourself.

OK, time to check on the chicks. Wishing everyone a terrific AF Monday
Lav

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

sleepy greetings ABeroooos! been working 24 hours straight and delirious now. just back to the hotel and going to crash but wanted to say hi.

Gaia, my heart goes out to you hon. some things we cannot change although I know we are compelled to try.

be well everyone. zzzzzzzzzz

[Gaia]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

HI again,

Thanks for chiming in. Uni you are doing so well. you are so calm lately. I just wanted to let you know I notice that.

Thinking about Cindi and wondering how it's going for you.

Hi Pride you are doing great too.

Hi Det and Lav. Lav again you are a rock, girl!

"Is there any hope he will decide he wants to change or does it seem past that?" DG what happened to the guy you tried to help? I don't think there's anything anyone can do for him. I have confronted him in the past, a few years ago. It was terrible. It was before I got into trouble. It's so puzzling to me. His deterioration makes me want to go get a drink! No really I won't but it's funny. I feel like I need something soothing. A crab cake for breakfast took care of it though. Lol.

No I think he has to be let alone to die. I think if it's quick it would be better. If I intervene, I think my mom will suffer the most. I want to protect her health. If I confront her she has to decide whether to carry through on her threat to leave him the next time he starts drinking again. I think she couldnt' survive that. He would die alone and I can't imagine the depth of her sadness. He's going to die anyway, it's just a question of when and how.

They've made their bed and now they are forced to lie in it. And the bed is full of poop and they have to lie in it. Like pigs in 'sheet.

DG maybe the coyotes are going nuts because France is on alert for a terror attack. They sense a disturbance in the world's best wine region and it's making them crazy.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Greenie's back!! :bananacomputer:

I missed everybody and have to read back to see what's on everyone's plate. I hope it's all good!

DG did you have your eyes done?
Gaia, :l. I reckon all you can do is offer your non-judgemental support. You can't control or change people's choices. They are in the states? I feel for you.
Marshy, I have binoculars to go in the picnic basket. This IS thrilling!
I saw painter caled with an invite while I was gone. Did he not get the message about then motion light?
Det, Geez! What was your boss thinking? I worry about a grueling schedule like that - particularly the driving aspect in it!! I may want to give him a haircut. I hope you get paid quadruple of something.
Lav, ummm.... what happened with the deadline? Just wondering if you enjoyed any aspect of his visit? I'm not clear on the "using" part - your home cooked meal perhaps? Did he leave the boat there as in storing for winter? I had FH's towed off and clapped jumping up and down as it went down the street.
Uni, I'm sorry you're struggling (valiantly I might add) with the depression. Did you get diff meds yet?
Pride, how was the tailgating and game? Really the tailgating part as I'm not much of a sprots person.
I'm going to hit my smilie quota before I'm ready.

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Hello friends,

Gaia and Uni I do feel for you guys. It is the hardest thing watching people we love slowly kill themselves. I think you know you just have to accept the situation (can't control) and just show them you love them the best you can. It is sad.:l

I had a nice afternoon doing some odds and ends around home. This was nice after a pretty miserable fight with #1 son on Saturday. Teenagers!
I'm rearranging furniture and getting rid of the clutter! I have too much stuff, but finding I still can't part with most of it. But I'm making a little progress.

We had to take out the cupboard above the fridge because my new one is going to be too tall for it. The cupboard was full of booze. Big bottles of vodka and gin and other odds and ends. Mostly stuff that people brought to parties and then left here, but I think the gin was mine. I'm having a candle party next weekend and will try to use some of it up then, but after that its going in the dumpster. Except maybe the home made Kahlua--maybe I can find it a home. Absolutely no desire to drink any of it! I don't really want it around to temp the teenagers in the home to experiment, and thankfully, hubby has never been much for hard alcohol.

It's time to get busy. Wishing everyone a good sober week! :h

p.s. Good to have you back Greenie!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

sandwich warning here

WALLY!!!:hallo:
And zin! :welcome: Hope you feel better today. Got a plan?
P3 I was in MD on the eastern shore and had a fabbie time! How was the party?
Where's M3? I'm fretting over you and having the remodeling along with the other issues at hand. Did you see a therapist? :l
Bear, I saw chillgirl talk about a 12 step book that was 12 steps to a spiritual life or something - you might like it. Maybe shoot her a PM if you think so. I'm glad you see missing out on talking to drunk people is a better choice.
Cindi - hope you are settled in and ready to dig in!
AFM, did you get the beagle? If the baying is an issue, there are sure lots of seasoned ones available. :l to you about your sister and dad.
And G! I have binoculars, can I share your blanket?
LVT, fridge size made me laugh but the cupboard contents was hilarious!!
Pamina, did you wrap things up with your sister's place?

Gawd, this is taking me 3 posts!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Need more smilies!

The visit was grand! Beee U deeee ful!! We walked, rode bikes, visited other little towns on the water, did a little letterboxing, and ate fabulous food. She's always had chaos in her life (friends since grade school) and this was no exception. Now she's decided she's ADD, which seemed to be more of an excuse than a means to diagnose and change. :H One daughter is back home while in school and brought big out-of control runner type dog that eats shoes with her. Smart dog with no manners or training, living with 2 other dogs and cats. I had to immediately establish myself as queen! :H We had lunch at a resto known for it's crabs and I told the mgr who seated us that I was visiting and would be thrilled with a water-view table. He said "I'm seating you at the best table in the house" and did! 'Tis good to be queen. :crowned: Unfortunately that one crab that was "funny" landed me on the throne for much of the evening. :H But I'm grateful that I only tasted it and the active part was pretty much over by the time I went to bed. It did occur to me that I haven't thrown up in a couple years now, you know what I mean I really did have a great time. So, that's it for my sky miles. It was a good way to wrap it up. A great sober mini-vacation!

Now I've a million things to do. A happy million. I feel very happy and peaceful. Good mojo today. Swimmers take your mark!

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

Hi Fabbers,

Welcome back, Green one! How were your travels?

So sorry to hear about your parents' situation, Gaia. Sounds very daunting. Hope you've found good sources of support for yourself.

Lav, YOUR blood pressure is what matters here. Now that you know his head is in a messy place, what do you want next for yourself? Can he come over for holidays? Once a month? Not for the next 6 months? Not at all?

This is completely unrelated but broadly on this issue of how to bring about change. I've been feeling increasingly frustrated with one of the groups I sing with, largely to do with the incompetence of the conductor. I'm not sure what I want with them in the long term, but I decided to take a 3-month break rather than drag myself to rehearsals I don't really want to attend. I think something else will need to take their place. Until I figure out what that is, they will be on hold. Meanwhile, my energy can go into new options.

Cindi, are you settling into your new abode?

Det, I can't figure out whereabouts on the planet you're crashing It should be your morning, right??! 24 hours? What happened to health and safety?

Uni, maybe you can meet with your therapist a bit more often initially to start lifting that funk. Enjoy your session.

So, DG, Pride, M3, G-man, sounds like you're all set. I'll join with some nibbles. It's not every day there's an-XNGF-saga to look forward to. All ears, Marshy! :H

Have a good day, all to come.

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Monday October 18

((Gaia))

No doggy yet!!! I was to meet him yesterday, but had a change in plans. (more like I had an emotional meltdown) I will meet with them and him today tho. I am going up to see my dad today after I drop Hailey off at school, so I will be in the area of where doggy is residing. He is an hour away as well.

Monday again! Must get off this computer and get motivated. I have been draggin' a la arse the last couple of days. No energy.

Have a fantastic day abbers!!