AF Daily - Tues 10/19

[greeneyes]

Good Morning Fabbies!!!!

Today I'm thinking YB may have to move to FH status. Lav, can you have other plans that dictate your absence while he's cutting grass?

Yesterday I did talk to painter and the motion light is now fixed. However... a couple things happened that annoyed me and it probably showed. The couple things were insignificant and the real issue was probably my annoyance at myself for not being able to handle the situation in a satisfactory way. The way I was radiating negativity, it's probably a non-issue now. ugh.

Gaia, this is what Colin Tipping said to me once about dreams:
"Sometimes we dream to vent unwanted stuff so that may be what is happening. Don't dwell on them, otherwise you will stop the venting process."

Today I have lunch with.... what do you call the guy who handles your retirement account money? My investor? I'm not sure why we're having lunch. When the universe puts people in my life, I wish they'd wear a sign giving me a clue for the reason. While I'm downtown, I think I'll go to the tile store and see if I can make some progress there.

OK, yesterday I started the 21 day parent program. I can already see the gates have opened so just ignore me for the next three weeks, right? Yes, it has been 2 months since I mentioned it - you have 60 days to start it and in true form I dragged my feet until yesterday.

Even though I'm getting stuck in places I'm glad that I am in motion enough to even GET stuck. Enough time was spent stuck in a bottle.... so ONE thing is for sure~

Have a terrific tuesday! One anonymous random act of kindess today!

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

If YB wants dinner, he can make a nice salad with the grass cuttings. Pulleeeez! Lav, hang in there. :l

Greenie, I think the technical term is "IRA guy," which may mean something entirely different to our MWO friends in Ireland.

There are TWO AF daily threads today--help! Do I c/p? Leave a note saying "meet us next door?"

Already had a stupid fight with DF this morning, totally attributable to hormones. "I asked your kids to shut their lights off when they leave their rooms in the morning, and they all did!"

"Why don't you ever ask your kids to shut their lights off in the morning?"

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

GM Greenie, Pride & all to come!

I'm going to send an email to YB telling him to stay where he is. It rain last night, looks like it's going to rain more & the grass is too wet to cut. Not in the mood for him. Finally got my stomach pain under conrtol last evening with severals TUMS & a pot of peppermint tea. I don't want or need anymore of this BS.

Guess I'll catch up on some inside projects. Greenie - parent program??

Wishing everyone a good day
Lav

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

Lav, Colin Tipping's online 21 day forgive your parents program.

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

Hello friends.

I just keep plugging away at all the clutter, and I am making slow progress. But slow progress is better than no progress, right?

Hubby put the cupboard back up that was cut down so my new fridge would fit. I never really thought about the differences in men. My husband is a perfectionist, sometimes it drives me crazy because he takes so long to do things. The guy I work for that cut the cupboard down for me gets things done quickly, but apparently a little half-assed. Since he had to take 4 inches off the height of the cupboard, the doors couldn't be cut down that much, so it is now a shelf, and since the cupboards were white inside and the outside is Early American Oak, he had to put a board inside the cupboard and stain it. He must have used a scrap that was a little short, so there is about 1.5 inches of white showing at the bottom of the inside of the cupboard. He said no one will notice, and he's probably right. My husband would have done it right, but it would have taken at least a week.:H Just an interesting observation. DG--the old fridge is 17.5 cu ft and the new one is 25! I've never liked this fridge my MIL gave us, and with 2 growing teenage boys it is just too small! And yes, i am excited, it is suppose to be here tomorrow! I hope it doesn't stick clear out in the middle of the kitchen!! It is big!

Nothing else to add today, except Lav--what a roller coaster! Only you know what's best for you, sounds like the rain came today to keep him away! IMHO you should hire someone to cut the grass and send YB/FH the bill! If he's going to come and go as HE pleases.............well it ain't right!!!:l

Have a great sober day all! :h

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

Oh, and on the subject of alcohol: As we were eating supper last night, hubby said he heard on a radio show that when kids start drinking before their 20's it damages their growing brain. I just looked at him and probably said something like "REALLY?" For over 2 years now I've been learning the science behind alcohol use/abuse and working with the coalition educating people about this. Where has he been? So I added the fact that the earlier they start drinking the more likely they are to become addicted. He said that must be his problem because he started finishing his parents and their friends drinks at age 2.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

Good Morning All,

I read both of today's threads and thought I would respond here. Better two threads than none!

I really enjoy the AF Daily. We are all growing and carrying on with our lives in our own unique ways. Very cool.

Gaia, Good to hear that you are feeling better. Your post is a good reminder for me that the feelings I have one day that almost overpower me can be nearly gone the next. It's something I have to remind myself of the next time it happens!!

Greenie, I'll look forward to hearing about the parenting program. Would love to come down South some time!!

Lav, It sounds like you need an extended break from your husband. I'm happy that he is not visiting today. I'm curious to know how much alcohol plays a part in his behavior.

Marshy, Looking forward to reading the next chapter on life with non-girlfriend turned girlfriend.

Pride, I just read an interesting article about teenagers and their emotional storms. Apparently, it is not just hormones. It also has to do with development of the frontal lobe of the brain (the center for rational thought among other things). Lots of things happening in this part of the brain during these years and it is typically associated with high emotions, anger, impulsive behavior, etc. Also, I used to sweat like crazy in the middle of the night when I drank too. It was so bad that I would have to take a shower. Doesn't happen anymore.

Hi Papmom3, Det, and all to come.

PS--I did not work out this morning. Apparently, I like to wallow in my own crankiness and disorganization. I need to get me some mojo.

M3

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

Hi, I am very sad today. I got the call last night that my dad has been admitted into the hospital. I am going up to meet with his wife to see him.

Another thing that is soooo surreal is that I spoke to family on the telephone that I had not spoken too in 20 years. My dad doesn't want to see his brother... long history of hurt, and my uncle will respect his wishes. I just cannot believe how fucked up this family is. Also, my cousin called my grandfather. He had no idea that my aunt is sick as well. He is going to lose two out of three children this year and had no clue?? My dad, uncle and aunt has not spoken to their father in many, many, years. Apparently my grandfather fell down the stairs last year and broke his neck. He is in a wheel chair. My dad's wife says it is karma.

So, I am sorry for being a downer on this thread. I must go and get ready now. I feel so f'd up at the moment. I won't drink though!!!

[momof3]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

Hi Lvt, Looks like we cross posted. Yes, interesting stuff about alcohol and the teenage brain. Our middle school offers a program for kids and their parents on this topic. I think this is very good!

AFM, So very sorry to hear about the craziness in your family. Try your best to not get sucked into it. And, of course you know that drinking will not make it any better. Stay strong.

M3

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

I am dying inside. I cant accept this. I can't say good bye!!!!

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

Hang in there AFM!! If all else fails, pray for strength. Is there a good friend you can talk to? A therapist?

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

AFM extra hugs for you dear xxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXX hang onto AF no matter what.

well, I'm finally home! yeah! had quite the adventure working at one of the simulated terror attacks at the conference. I was giving briefs on equipment and suiting up the SWAT teams with their chem/bio suits, respirators and breathing apparatus prior to the train assault. it was very interesting indeed and I felt like I was in a movie at times. things exploding all around (that will get your attention).

anyway, slept in this morning cant' wait to get to the gym tonight and start eating something resembling real food again.

Greenyes! great too see you here

ok, off to chop up some garlic for the first time in a week. sheesh!

be well

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

I am dying inside. I cant accept this. I can't say good bye!!!! >>

:l AFM, if only we were given a choice! But we aren't.

I sat on a bridge over train tracks when I was 18 intending to kill myself (obviously I didn't, I decided that way was "too messy"). In my mind, I had three options: toughen up, break down, or die.

I know now I have four options: toughen up, break down, die, or live well. We have no control over the crap life throws us (and some of us get a lot more crap than others--fairness doesn't even enter into it). All we can control is how we respond.

I know it's probably not much comfort now, but all of us have gone through this at some point, many of us with healthy family and friend support, many without. But there is support here, and keep asking for it as long as you need it. :h

I'm not much of a God-person but that never stops me from praying. I don't go to AA either, but the serenity prayer keeps popping into my head as I type this, so I'm sharing it here for you:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

:l AFM. I am thinking of you today and will be trying to send you acceptance and healing vibes. Maybe there is a grief support group in your area? One of my good friends was widowed at only 42 years old and she shared with me that a grief support group is what got her through. I hope you find peace and comfort somehow.

Hi fabbies - I'm zoom zoomin' but wishing everyone well. I am very grateful to be sober today and facing life head on. One thing is for sure...

DG

[Gaia]

AF Daily - Tues 10/19

AFM you have a special situation with your family. I know how it hurts. And they all hurt each other before we came along, and we are left to wish for what might have been while we sweep up the broken pieces. Sigh. Just take good care of yourself, dearie.

Lv that's funny about him finishing drinks at 2. At least he's waking up about the teen drinking. Better late than never.

Lav YB seems to want to keep things in a holding pattern indefinietly. I seem to think he won't taking any action himself. He's leaving it to you to be the bad guy. That really sucks. But one way or the other things will change or they will not. I think it will all come down to you when you are ready to really put your foot down. It might not be until he loses you that he knows what he's lost. (echo - it might not be until we lose ourselves that we know we had to give up drinking)

Hi Det and Greenie and Pride.