DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

[LVT25]

WHERE IS EVERYBODY!!!

[papmom3]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

The rain has gotten everyone staying snug in their beds :H!! I'm here LVT but at work so can't read or post too often today. Hope you're doing well!!
:l

[Lavande]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

I'm here - back from my appoinment with the vampire. At least I got a good one this time :H:H

Chilly rain, crappy day actually. Perfect for a granny nap later unless EB comes over. He won't even stop for a nap anymore :upset:

Hope everyone is enjoying a wonderfully AF Thursday!
Lav

[Brigitte Bardot]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Morning/Afternoon lovelies!

Another beautiful AF day for me. Woohoo! I am absolutely loving this. I am still having thoughts of having a nice glass of red wine at night time, but I'm pushing them aside and start thinking of what I'm like when I'm drinking wine, since it's never just a glass or two.

Today, I'm putting out some more white lights around my trees. It's a little cold out, but if I wait any longer it's going to be even worse so I'm going to be smart about it. My fingers are stained blue and green from colouring the cake mix yesterday for her princess cupcakes..I look pretty funny.

Time to put a nice roast in the slow cooker with all the veggies and let that simmer all day till it falls apart and invite the parentals over for dinner.

[LVT25]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

*********SANDWICH, CHIPS, DRINK AND DESSERT WARNING****


Did you wear yourselves out yesterday talking about underwear and dentist???:H

I was thinking yesterday about how maybe I need to give MWO up because I spend so much time thinking about al or the non-use of I guess. But then I get on last night and HOLY COW! Between our thread and One2's Wake up thread, it took me an hour to read only part of the posts. I miss threads like hers that really make people THINK! I was impressed that it didn't turn into a pissing contest, really.

Greenie, I really liked you post on that thread about the Indian story. I've had friends that have come to me for advice, and over and over I give them the same advice and they don't take it. Frustrating to say the least. I hope you're feeling ok today after your dental work yesterday.

Once again, I've come to vent and relate the most recent experience with my DH. I wish I could think of a good/unique abbreviation for him. I don't want to be too mean, so I guess we'll stick with Drunk Hubby for now. There may be times when Dick Head is more appropriate and occasionally Dear Hubby. Open to suggestions here.

Anyway, I came home from a meeting last night, I was already a little angry and uptight because I knew he started drinking beer right after work. I also knew he had been on the phone with the in-laws, and that always requires lots of beer, plus he was home alone. ANYWAY, I was fixing myself something to eat and he started talking to me about our son. He said he really felt the need to have a talk with him. I said that I thought that was a really good idea, but that it would be good to do that when he is sober. Oops! Did that just slip out of my mouth?? He get pretty defensive, that was obvious from his facial expressions, tone and volume of his voice. I won't relate the whole conversation here, but I got really brave and asked him why he was being so defensive about that. He said I called him a falling down drunk. No, I said I think you should have this conversation with our son when you haven't been drinking...not tonight. Then of course he turned the table on me and how much his drinking bothers me, blah blah blah. I was so nervous I was shaking. How stupid! I've known this man for over 20 years! I hate confrontation! But I stood my ground and when I'm excited I get loud, but I didn't run away, and I told him how hard it was to express my feelings, because he didn't like to hear it. I managed to tell him I worried about his drinking for health reasons. Then he said he heard that priests and others that burn a lot of candles are getting dementia and Alzheimers!!! OKAY then!!! I told him that I really don't mind when he has a few, but yes it does bother me when he gets drunk. Which we obviously have different definitions of. I also said I really didn't care too much, because in case he hadn't noticed, I just do my own thing. I also said that I don't have to LIKE it, but I do have to ACCEPT it and that I think I have done pretty well in that department over the last 2 years and deserve a little credit. I am not going to be happy and bubbly when he is drinking and that is the way it is.
He tried to change the subject, but I was not in the mood, spoke rather rudely to him, so he went off to his chair and slept the rest of the evening.

I anticipated the cold shoulder this morning, but he acted like nothing happened. I have so much more I could say to him. Like he gets mad/hurt when the boys relate stories to me and not him, or they come talk to me instead of him. Does he even consider it's because he's not all that available, serious or predictable? Or simply asleep like last night? I wish I could tell him how I resent that he can't give me respect at mealtime and show up, how I am always the one taking kids or going places because he's busy doing other things that involve drinking. Or else he just goes to bed, while I wait up to talk to my son when he gets home? I get the fact that he thinks he's ok because he's not at the bar, he's not staying out all hours, and he's not doing drugs. He is usually working/drinking. That's how his brain has things justified. I can't believe he thinks it's "normal" to drink 4-5 nights a week--usually at least 8-12 beers.

Ok, I've gone on long enough. Strangely, I feel pretty good today. I'm sure I wouldn't if he wasn't speaking to me today.

Oh, and btw--thanks for the tip about spell check!!! LOVE IT!!

Thanks as always for listening! Have a great day everyone! And thanks for being here, I truly don't have anyone else that can I possibly relate to right now.:l:l:h

[ItsJustMe]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Mornin’ All –

Day 19 AF for me. Getting up in the mornings is getting easier and easier. Also the cravings are starting to get less and less. Last night they lasted less than half an hour when I got home. That’s not to say Al was not on my mind – the thoughts actually hit me around 3PM but the cravings hit maybe around 7PM and was gone around 7:30PM once I started drinking my tea.

LVT – I can so relate. However, I am embarrassed to say that I can relate from the other side of the equation. My sweetie of 23 years had those same conversations with me. I can remember really getting defensive. And the more defensive I got, the more calm she got which made me even angrier. I am not sure what I was expecting. I think something childish like “ok, I take it all back”…. I can also relate to the telling Mom stuff but not Dad and really getting hurt feelings over it. As far as not getting the cold shoulder this morning; I think I can explain that as well. Either he didn’t remember all of the conversation or he did remember and thought bad of himself. Does this sound like the voice of experience?

Contrary what you lovely ladies think, us guys are a complicated organism. I know most ladies think that we just sit around, belch, pee on the seat that we leave up, leave our dirty clothes on the floor, put empty milk jugs back in the fridge, fart, then giggle at how long and loud we could make the fart last (or maybe it’s just me and I am stranger than I thought…). As a side note, if I can do a silent one in the hall at work, forming sort of a fart cloud and then watch the expressions on the unsuspecting faces of people that walk through it, I giggle my butt off….but I am getting off subject…. Anyway, sometimes when we really try to hid our feelings (because we were always taught that big boys don’t cry) we make some strange as hell comments and decisions. Add Al to the mix and now you really have a show. I know, I have seen me do it. Also, we know that you are smarter than we are, but damn if we want you to show it. So when you point out the obvious, something we shouldn’t do while intoxicated – of course it makes perfect sense but now we are pissed that you pointed it out so we have to compensate. Sort of like when my wife tells me I should have turned left and I say I meant to turn right so I could see some of the scenery on this side of town…

I’m glad to say that I have put all that behind me. – At least the Al. I still like to fart.

Take care and have a blessed day!
ItsJustMe
AF Since 10/16/10

[Doggygirl]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Good morning fabbies! LVT, thanks for getting us started today and for sharing about your converation with....how about.....3DH? All inclusive, yes?? Anyway, I am so glad that you stood your ground and sounds to me like you stated your POV in a calm and rational way. As I was reading your description, it was like looking in the mirror at myself in the many conversations I had like that with Mr. Doggy. He would be trying to point out how I was when I over drank (daily) and I would try to turn the tables, change the subject, etc. Sounds like that is just common behavior among us problem drinkers. I'm glad he was not mad at you this morning. I suppose he is either 1) thinking about it or 2) not remembering it. I hope it's #1!

P3, the sun is shining here today. Too bad I can't get out there and enjoy it!! I will just be grateful to have a nice window and be able to view it!

BB, I love the way you describe your thinking about that non-nice glass of red wine. (see? I can't even say it! :H) You sound good! Wonderful! Are parental dinners a trigger (i.e. drinkers)? Safe zone (i.e. non-drinkers)? Neither? Just curious.

Lav, I'll be hoping you get a nice granny nap!!! I love those when it's raining. Don't get to do it often, but sure enjoy the opportunity once in awhile!

Must go read Oney's thread. I thought of that thread today at Community Leadership School. Today was our last day of being listeners. We had a panel incorporating leaders in education, city and county government, economic development, news, and service organization. We got to submit questions in advance, and also ask more on the spot. The last question was addressed by each of the panelists - "If a person wants to be a lead someday, what should they do?" As the first panelist was speaking, it become very easy to view the question and the answers in another way - "If a person wants to get sober someday, what should they do?"

The first speaker is a leader in our local education system. She said something along the lines of "look at your own leaders through a new pair of eyes. Recognize that they have experience you do not have. Don't jump to immediate judgement about things they say/do that you disagree with. Take the time to ask why. Try to start understanding a bigger picture. Broaden your horizons."

I thought that was interesting. There is often a point of view shared among people who have achieved some level of consistent sobriety that is not understood (IMO) by people who WANT to achieve sobriety but maybe have not quite gotten there yet. That is what often causes a divide here on this forum I think. I am going to try to remember this woman's remarks as I think they will be helpful for me in adjusting my view of things when we have tensions on the forum. Maybe some newcomers can use this idea to view what the folks ahead of them on the path are saying.

In case that makes any sense...but it might not.

Whether I make any sense today or not, one thing is for sure!!! I will not be drinking any AL.

DG

[papmom3]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

OMG IJM!! You are a riot!!! I LOVE hearing from the male point of view and you don't sugar coat anything!! If I ever get involved in a relationship again I'm coming straight to you for translation!!
Keep up the good work. Day 19 is nothing to fart, er sneeze at :H.

DG-sounds like an awesome day yesterday at Leads. I think the education person was spot on. How many times do we second guess our bosses, our politicians, our parents etc because we don't agree with what seems to be our reality? I'm SOOOOO guilty of that, especially with my boss!! I promise to try very hard not to pass judgement unless I have ALL the facts first. I'll try anyway.

It's a nasty day here in Central MA too. I was able to get a walk in with LM and Mickey and got home right as it was starting to rain. Unfortunately I think that will be it for today. I do have agility tonite tho so that is good.

I have a sugar hangover today. Whole pint of B & J last nite and today my eyes are tired and heavy and I want junk food!! But I won't. Lesson finally learned.

[Accountable for Me]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Morning all!

I came to the board early this morning and there was no thread started! Of course I didn't even think to start one! Thanks LVT! Husbands are just plain old shit-heads at times, I think. ((HUGS))

Welcome to IJM! Happy to have ya here!

Hello to all others!

It is a beautiful day out there again. 3 days of no rain and non-stop sunshine. It is hard to be grumpy on days like these. Cold though. A chilly 4 degrees. I am so happy that I went an got little AFM all her cold weather gear last weekend!

I am doing a short shift this afternoon at the hospital. Other than that - nothing else! My house is clean. Oh, shit..... I forgot that my car needs a bath and a vacuum out! DAMN! It really bugs me when I have pine needles on my car mats.

Well, I am off and going to watch some mindless TV for a bit. Have a fantastic day everyone!

[LVT25]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

IJM!! Thanks for giving me the male perspective on things. I love having the guys here to keep us gals in line. I laughed out loud at your remarks yesterday and also today, and yep you fit in quite well here! Please stick around. I do know what it is like to be on the other side of the drinking life too obviously, but no one ever really called me on it that I can think of. Maybe that is because I was careful to surround myself with other drunkards. Even now, people tell me they don't think I had a drinking problem. but, I'm pretty sure I did.

Beautiful day here, I made the mistake of sitting down to some bookwork and turned a movie on. That one got over and now that my Netflix for the Wii is working, I've got the complete series of Intervention to watch while no one is around.

[greeneyes]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Good afternoon abbers!

I had to go with my dad to a doctor's appointment. Took the wind out of my sails.

[Brigitte Bardot]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Hi DG! Hi everyone!

DG, sometimes they help me not drink other times my mom (as much as I love that woman) can be a huge trigger for me. But tonight, I am sober and will continue to be.

[papmom3]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Greenie- :l :l :l. Let us know if we can help.

[Determinator]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

Top of the transmutational Thursday ABeroooos!

Greeneyes, your Dad going to be ok? strength to you dear xxxxx

yes, guys are complicated...that's all I got to say about that...

baked ziti for breakfast at home with my dear Dx. what could possibly be better? oh yes, no hangover of course. that's better.

I bed thee all a fabulous day

[greeneyes]

DAILY AF--THURSDAY 11/4

P3, Thank you! I'm OK really. I am a little under the weather aside from the dental stuff. And you know my dad is a hot topic for me right now. I'm making progress but old crap is still there. I do see that it's MY crap though, even though I try to blame him. Sometimes blame is so convenient and hard to give up.

Det he just had a consultation for cataract surgery, that's all. He's in good health.

Ohhhhh baked ziti for brekkie!! swoon......