sat af daily 6 November

[bear73]

morning all - zooming in to say hi before trip to see old friends - we staying in talking,eating and watching films so no pressure.

I have looked at what went wrong - I listened and acted on to the 'just have one voice' I need to react to that and argue against it,and focus on not taking the first drink (rather than feeling deprived that I can never have another drink). I don't want to focus too much on this as we have all talked about it,you've all given me time, support and it's up to me.
I feel like I would be taking forum air time unnecessarily if I went into lots of detail and asked lots of questions. What else can anyone say? I need to help myself.

I really need to focus on what I eat and exercise - too many meals out this weekand not enough exercise has been happening. I feel better than I did last week mentally - I am eating fruit at least, cycling to work,evening personal care is happening BUT there have been no gym sessions this week and too many calories. Have decided to lower calorie limit to 1600 until holiday.No alcohol will massively help as part of that.

Good day all to come and Greenie - congratulations on your year.

[Brigitte Bardot]

sat af daily 6 November

Good morning Bear! And morning to everyone else who checks in today.

Bear, I for one am not strong enough as yet to put myself in those situations and not drink. The temptation is still too strong for me yet just to experiment with that one glass of red wine only just to test the waters. I know I'm not there yet, I still have the love affair in my mind and I'm just not going to put myself in that situation if I can avoid it right now. Maybe don't put yourself in the line of fire, stay out of it for a while and gain some strength. Focus on eating healthy, getting some exercise in and establish a good sleeping pattern. It's 21 days now for me and I'm finally sleeping well at night now, with no added help from an anxiety pill or benadryl and I feel great when I wake up in the morning now. Alcohol was killing all my much loved sleep, and I have a fabulous bed which I love!

I have no idea what's on for today, but I do know drinking is not one of them. We may go to a Christmas Craft Fair, if I can find someone to look after Little Gia we'll go. Who knows? I'm getting the forms in place for my addition, hopefully we'll be able to have the pump truck in next week and pour the cement forms for my addition. Yah! The cedar is getting put on my house as well and I won't get my other new window in till next month I think.

How is everyone today?

P.S. I posted a pic of my little furbabies in the Gallery. They needed a haircut then, but they're so cute.

[Brigitte Bardot]

sat af daily 6 November

P.S.S. I just added a pic of Little Gia at the beach as well, I love that picture of her.

[Doggygirl]

sat af daily 6 November

Hello all! Bear, thanks for getting us started. You sound determined and that is good. Please do not hesitate to ask questions or discuss anything you are struggling with. Our primary purpose here is to help each other stay sober! I do know that exercise and eating right (aka no sugar) both sure make me feel better and make me more secure in my AFness, for today.

Gia, the furbabies are cute! Good luck with the addition project. Hope it's not too disruptive. I'm sure it will be fabulous when it's done - that's always the thought I need to go back to when the dust seems unbearable! :H Have fun at the craft fair if you go. You are right about the thinking.

P3, good for you finding a DEAL on a coat! And finding that gift card! See? The stars just line up sometimes. Are the Mary Kay colors a sign??? :H Have fun doing all your stuff at work today! Are there any indoor agility trials over the winter? Or does everyone take the winter off? Might be hard on dogs in vehicles, etc. Here, the latest trials are usually in November and then nothing until April for the REAL early birds. LOL - the dogs handle the cold just fine it's the people who are weenies.

Greenie, I cringed when I read the part about hearing your mother in your head! :egad: Isn't it nice to be in the frame of mind where we can take those things in stride. They really are such minor problems but boy I used to fly off into the stratesphere over little stuff like that (and drink even more). Good that you made some new friends! Have you hooped lately?

M3, glad you got your posting stuff figured out. Arse kicking and hair cuts. What a good idea! I would offer makeovers but I'm not sure my products are strong enough for the level 10 makeovers needed.

I am watching figure skating from China. I missed the Free Dance and Ladiezzz - just didn't feel like getting up that early. Mens is on now but the first group was a real snooze. Great opportunity to catch up here. Not even a lot of sequins or wild hair cuts or anything. This next group will be good as Brian Joubert is HOT. That alone makes it worth while. Did I tell you that crotch grabbing seems to be "in" this year as part of the choreography for the men? :egad: Man pant wedgies are out, crotch grabbing is in.

I want to work out but the hours are VERY short on Saturday. Will see how figure skating is going. This afternoon my new Mary Kay recruit is having a Pampered Chef party (was already on the books) but is also going to set up a little display of MK stuff so her friends know she is now in that business. It will be fun to help her and also the food is always fabulous at Pampered Chef parties!!! I'm sure I will come home with a new kitchen gadget. Need to stop the shopping madness.

I think it was on yesterdays thread where the topic of drinking thoughts on Friday nights came up. I had a lot of those at first too. Every day was an issue but Friday through Sunday was when I was ENTITLED to drink, dammit! I don't even think about it any more.
Just adding another voice of encouragement to IJM and our new people that the intense urges DO pass if you keep working to build a different lifestyle.

One thing is for sure...there will be no AL in my life today.

DG

[greeneyes]

sat af daily 6 November

Morning abbers!!!

Bear, thanks for the start today. You're right, it IS up to you. I agree with DG about asking questions.

Cute pics, Brigitte! Sounds like some big work at your house. What is the addition to be?


:clapclap::clapclap:CONGRATULATIONS ON 3 WEEKS, BB AND IJM!!:clapclap:


Jennyneric, how did last night go? I bet you feel great this AM!!!

Lav has on her BGPs. I think she's up for arse kicking. I think YB got demoted to FH.

DG, I haven't hooped in a while. I didn't take my hoop last night because of my tooth. There is a couple in that crowd I like a lot. The husb brews his beer in a conniseur kinda way. The wife didn't drink before she met him at 40ish (I mean 29) and they both really enjoy the beer. I like the way they make and savor their choices and I have never seen any sign of it's effect on them. I don't feel envy or anything. I just can appreciate it for what it is. It's their other qualities I like, not just that.... :H I didn't drink anything (as in nothing) last night. I guess I'm at the point that I don't need to hold something in my hand. No, that's not true, that's not always the case. I didn't need to last night and it was nice.

MARSHY!!! You are not allowed to come back to town and throw us a crumb!!! We've been eating popcorn for a week, give us something worthy!! you knicker-ripper

I forgot there was no yoga yesterday. Somebody was on vacation. But I am going to the morning class in a minute. Then this afternoon I'm meeting husb#1 and his wifey at some friends' house while they pre-game party a bit. But one thing is for sure!!

I need to hustle, I don't want to walk into class late.

Have a stupendous AF saturday!!

*note to bear: Bear, I can attend parties like last night and gatherings like this afternoon now. I could not and did not for many months in the beginning.

[Lavande]

sat af daily 6 November

GM Abbers!

Yikes, I'm sitting here quietly with my laptop & a cup of coffee trying to come back to life & SMACK - a bird flies right into my living room window! Scared the crap out of me - dumb bird :H:H Must have been blinded by the bright sunlight!

Good luck this weekend bear.......change your thinking & actions if you really want results!

GM to DG, Greenie M3, papmom, Marshy & all to drop in today.
I feel a touch lighter in heart this morning. I unleashed my inner beast for a few minutes yesterday & emailed some serious 'Lavan-ittude' to YB! I really think he is mentally ill but I'm tired of being rejected & dismissed. I think I deserve better treatment after all my years of service!!!!!

I'm just going to enjoy the day, whatever develops.
Hope you all have a fabulous AF Saturday!
Lav

[ItsJustMe]

sat af daily 6 November

Good Morning All ?

Early Saturday morning and I thought I would be able to kick the thread off today. To my surprise there are a truck load of early birds out there!

Bear and BB ? I?m totally with BB on her point. There is no way I would tempt fate and as she said ?put myself in the line of fire?. I tried to in August and failed miserably . I?ve come to the conclusion that I will consistently be an abstainer.

I?m celebrating 21 AF days today and couldn?t be happier! It?s hard to believe where I was three weeks ago and look at myself now. I?m really getting inspired about all this exercise and gym talk. I?ve been paying over $100/month for over a year to a fancy gym. Maybe I should start using it. The price has not gone to waste. My Boys and Wife use it. Hearing everyone here is making me want to at least go check it out.

In case anyone is interested ? the wood flooring saga continues. Workers finished up at 9PM and showed up at 7:30AM this morning. Got the 55 gal fresh water tank moved. The 100 gal reef tank aint budging. I even drained half the water out. The flooring people are going to put the wood in up to the tank then leave me enough extra boards in case we move. That actually makes sense. Hopefully they will be finished today. My house looks like who done it an left!

I really hope everyone has a great day!

ItsJustMe
AF since 10/16/10

[Guitarista]

sat af daily 6 November

Greeting's Abberoo's!

A quick hello to everyone, and congrat's BB and I'ts just me on your 3 week af effort. Huge achievement. Keep it going y'all!

[universal]

sat af daily 6 November

Quick pop in as I'm off to a meeting - just saying hi and hope everyone has a great Saturday!

[Accountable for Me]

sat af daily 6 November

Morning all!

Congrats to BB and IJM!! 3 weeks is abby-fabby!

Bear, it is tough to be in situations where all of your friends are drinking it up and you are not. It can leave feelings of being deprived for sure. Sometimes you need to be 'selfish' and not go to those type of dwellings until you are a bit more solid in your sobriety. Especially now with the holidays coming up. This would be a great time to lay low for now and really focus on you and your health. We just cannot drink like normal people. You aren't depriving yourself. You want to live a healthy, active life. There are many people who don't have a problem with alcohol that don't drink because they don't like the way it makes them feel. There is nothing wrong with not drinking! I don't avoid social situations anymore but it took me a very long time to feel like I wasn't being deprived or that I needed to join in, in order to have fun. Well, what was one night of fun took me back into continuous drinking. That was NO fun at all. Be selfish. Take care of you. Decide what YOU want and stick with it. xo

Hello to everyone else!!

Today is Saturday and nothing much happening. I was to work today, but my other client isn't in town, so I am not working until tomorrow, which is fine. I think that today I will continue going through some stuff to donate. I didn't get much done yesterday. I felt 'antsy' so went out for a morning and afternoon walk in the misty rain. Just loved it. Love the mist on my face. I quit smoking just over two weeks ago and it is usually about now that I have all of this energy and tend to start smoking again. I am totally not craving a cigarette but I know that I need to get active to expend such energy. So, that is what I have started to do.

I would love to try Yoga, Greenie.

Have a great day abbies! I am going to hop in the shower and go for my morning walk now. We live right beside a river with a dyke, and it is beautiful at the moment with all the leaves changed and falling. I see all different types of dogs; which actually inspired me to want one. (I still haven't - will wait now until after I moved. The Larry dog at the SPCA was adopted when we went to meet him. Which is great for him!).

Talk to ya's all later!

[LVT25]

sat af daily 6 November

Hello friends.

Love hearing about everyone's weekend plans. I am going to make spaghetti sauce out of the remaining tomatoes and then put the boys to work cleaning up the gutters, yard and garden.

Yesterday was my last day at the cemetery. The weather right now is absolutely gorgeous! A wonderful change of pace from last fall. I will have so much more free time I need to make sure I use it wisely. I hope I get another bookkeeping job to fill in the $ gap!

I love hearing your guy's plans to get fit and healthy too! I am failing miserably at getting motivated to do anything! I am tired of the soft body and lack of proper diet! Thanks for the reminder about the gym IJM, ours isn't that pricey, but we pay a monthly fee all the same, why am I not utilizing it!!??

Congrats to Gia and IJM on 3 weeks--so glad to have you both join us on the monthly ab's thread. In case you haven't heard, we can be "holier than thou" and tend to run newbies off. :H What a joke!!

I have been doing a ton of thinking about the hubby situation, and plan to sit down and write a letter to him. Many of the feelings I have about his drinking go way back to my previous marriage. I don't like having them, but they are there. We both have to accept that. This is going to sound weird, but I don't really want him to quit drinking. I think he would be miserable to live with. For the most part he is a happy drinker (although unpredictable and quicker to anger) and he would be resentful and grumpy if he quit altogether. So ultimately it is up to me to detach from the situation and make the best of it. I'm going to remind him that when I am tired I am grumpy, whether it be because he is drinking, or the kids have pissed me off, so maybe he should keep that in mind.

Greenie, I should have known the diet was about your teeth! Duh! Glad you are feeling better.

I stayed in last night looking forward to watching some Netflix on the Wii. Love Story, Intervention....the damn thing wasn't working right so I fell asleep on the couch!

Time to get busy! Have a happy sober weekend all! :h

[ItsJustMe]

sat af daily 6 November

LVT ?

I maybe the last person that should give advice. But seeing that I have been down that road before I thought I would throw out an idea.

The following might apply if you hubbie is like me ? hopefully he is not ? I have a bunch of bad character traits?..

Your hubby is going to have to not only hit rock bottom but see that he has hit rock bottom before he makes a change. As long as I thought everything was going ok then I believed I was fine.

Next, a letter is nice but I would save that one as a just in case. If my lovely gave me a letter I might be apt not to read it or when I did read it I could take the meaning a different way. Remember that the written word has no emotion in it so the reader will infer an emotion ? maybe not the one you would have used.

Here is a thought ? Rather than a letter, make a bullet point list of the 5 or 6 topics you would like to cover ? much more than that and you will dilute the conversation. Then get out of the house with him. Some place quiet for an evening out. It needs to be a place where you can sit and enjoy each other and the waiters are not trying to run you off. A favorite of ours like this is a restaurant called the ?Melting Pot?. It is a fondue place that generally takes 2 hours to eat.

Now why do I recommend this ?
- You both are on natural ground
- You are doing an activity that would somewhat squelch the urge to get up and leave in the middle of.
- It?s relaxing and as set in my ways as I am, if I am relaxed I am more open to debate

Then cover your points one at a time. Don?t go to the next point until you have exhausted everything that can be said on the previous one. Be sure to let him talk as well. You need to put your feelings out there and tell him from your perspective what he is doing to not only himself but to you. This is very important. If my wife told me I was frying my liver then I would ignore it (hey, it?s my body ? butt out). But if you tell him how you and your children are affected along with concern for his health then that puts it in a different light.

Finally, he needs to know that you are his partner in this, not his adversary. You want to help him ? he is not going to go it alone. That may mean for the first week or two you are on him like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat! When it?s cocktail time, have something different planned. The key is to get him started then back away ? sort of teaching a kid to ride a bike.

Again, this may or may not work depending on your relationship. It worked for me and I am your pretty average guy.

Good luck and let me know if I can help!

ItsJustMe
AF since 10/16/10

[greeneyes]

sat af daily 6 November

Crotch grabbing? Wonder if they get scored on that. I watched a guy on a street corner talking on a cell phone and "holding himself". Not scratching, grabbing, adjusting, just holding. I thought of a baby sucking it's thumb and holding onto a blankie. I had to look away lest he misinterpret my smile. :H

[greeneyes]

sat af daily 6 November

LVT, :l that's is all. I'm feeling grateful to not have anyone to line up for an arse kicking even once in a while. Maybe my marriage was limping along for so long that I'm still in the relief stage. You're a good woman and I hope your relationship comes to be what makes you happy. You sure deserve it!

[techie]

sat af daily 6 November

greeneyes;998203 wrote: Crotch grabbing? Wonder if they get scored on that. I watched a guy on a street corner talking on a cell phone and "holding himself". Not scratching, grabbing, adjusting, just holding. I thought of a baby sucking it's thumb and holding onto a blankie. I had to look away lest he misinterpret my smile. :H

OMG, THAT WAS YOU???