AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

Top of the Tuesday ABland!

yes, cold all 'round I'm telling ya.

hows this for crazy: our martial arts club did an outside class last night in the park. it's dark, and it's 34 degrees F and people are looking out their windows at us like we are morons. well...they are so perceptive we had tons of fun at least. I really tried to talk myself out of that class but I'm glad I went.

one thing's for sure: I'm NOT thinkin Arby's

(a little joke for those beleaguered with US tv commercials)

LOL

oh, and no booze in sight of couse

be well

[bear73]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

hey all - another productive evening - food shop ready for mother's visit, and cleaned kitchen and bathroom and mopped the floors. House needs so many cleaning chores doing, and re-decorating, and new furniture/floors carpets/storage.
One room at a time - and sharing with my OH - not all my job.

I can't re-arrange mum's visit - she has booked tickets and hasn't been here for over a year. I CAN stay sober around her - I've done it before - she doesn't drink in a happy way so it doesn't encourage me to join in. I'll be here each evening though.

I am back havign the 'can I can't I' mod thoughts and they're really really fruistrating AND very seductive.Sometimes, yes I can like Caroline Knapp says - but it's a real battle not to get blasted as that's what I want to do AND I have suffered problems due to alcohol/alcohol has stopped me making changes that I want to make e.g. weight loss,stopping smoking,saving money,increasing confidence etc.I remember saying that I hadn't reached rock bottom yet, but didn't want to reach it before I quit - I wanted to avoid it.Both times when I drank recently - feeling tense - socially nervous/awkward - had the 'it's unfair I can NEVER drink' thoughts.I need to focus on now and the one drink I'm not having.

I do not want to avoid social situations - I know this is controversial and many of you won't agree with me BUT I will need to face them at some point/I need to change my head in those situations.Like the allan carr approach

I'm going to put some clothes away in a bit then all I need to do is change the bedding ready for her tomorrow evening after skating.I ordered lightbox and it's been delivered - need to collect from package depot. I am in 2 minds about whether to keep it or not. Expensive month/holiday/skates/coats - my increase in medication has definitely made a difference - I feel great - so shall I save the expense?Thinking how much decorating the money could buy!

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

Bear, I am completely with you on that. I know I'm going to have to face it sooner or later and just denying it for me seems a little foolish. You can't avoid all situations forever, and neither can I. Christmas is coming, there will be many family functions and community functions which there will be alcohol involved in almost 95% of them.. and I'm living like a hermit forever. I'm also having a lot of seductive thoughts as well and today I'm fighting it again.
It's great to be able to talk this out though..these are my thoughts and I have to acknolwedge them and get through them. I can run forever.

[Raven.joy]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

You can do it bear. When I gave up I did not go out with drinkers for ages and now I can. When I was weak with drink it did not matter how far away the drink was I could and would get it. When we are strong it does not matter where in the world around us alcohol is as long as we don't go there. I have learnt to live with a wife who drinks a couple of times a week after years of blaming her for making it impossible for me to give up. I think we are both happier for it I hope you enjoy time with your mum.

[peacenik]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

bb, i live just south of the badlands of western south dakota.
i would love to be a canadian, though!

[Gaia]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

Peacenik I liked your thoughts on the cleaning mood thing. If you find out how to get it let me know.

Bear, just wondering, what's your longest stretch AF? I find that the social situations are easier now than they were at first. Have you done 30 days yet? Maybe start with a specific goal and get some non-drinking running time to get used to not drinking. I can't say I still don't feel deprived - ever - but social situations aren't as hard as they were at first.

DG what's up? What are your soul searching about?

Det martial arts int he park? Are you nuts? That's just whacked.

Hi AFM hang in there. Hello other fabbies!

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

Hi Fabs,

Kind of blue today, too. The weather isn't helping; wet and cold. Work is overwhelming (and not interesting to me anymore, so digging in that much harder). I also thought I had a deal with someone to buy my house, aka, the money pit, but it fell through. I live with my fiance now, and wasn't ready to sell my place when we moved in together last year; I lived in the old house 18 years, raised my family there. I held it together with spit and promises, but it kept us safe and dry and I loved it. I pretty much held on by my teeth after my divorce (I bought my ex out of it, which raised the mortgage. Alot.) but the kids had stability and I had my haven. But it's been a year, and it's just too much to keep fixing stuff that's breaking (it's rented) and I'm tired of how much it costs me every month just to keep it afloat. So I was happy to have someone interested who would let my tenants stay (a nice family who could never afford to rent in that town otherwise). However, it didn't work out.

On the plus side, I made my 10% body weight goal at Weightwatchers, after hovering over it for a month. AND, I have no desire to drink this disappointment away. Because I finally figured out it doesn't work.

All right, as Scarlett said, tomorrow is another day. Sleep tight, fabbies!

xoxox Pride

[ItsJustMe]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

Evenin Dudes and Dudettes ?

I?ve missed out on a couple of days of the thread. Jeez, I had some major reading tonight. Lots of drama at work (luckily I am not in the center of it but I have been somehow elected as the unofficial executive counselor for everyone else. If they knew how messed up I really am I think they would rethink that! At any rate, I spend the day listening to the drama then when I get home I get the calls from everyone interpreting what everyone else said. I?m thinking of writing all this down and selling it as a daytime soap?. Oh well, one thing IS for sure?..

BB are you still with me? If so we are looking at the butt end of day 24 AF!!!! I think I have a good chance of making it to day 30 this time. My cravings are less and less each day. I mean I could drink if I let myself but I really don?t dwell on it any more. Could this be another step in the healing process? BB, since we are at the same stage I am interested in how you are feeling now craving wise, health wise, and just generally wise?.

Doggie, guess you are going to have to do something with that jar you were saving for me!!! If I make it past 30 and then fold do I still have to eat them??? :H:H:H

Seriously though, I really feel good these days. I guess everyone?s chemistry is different but anyone here that has not made it this far, give it a try ? the wait is worth it!

Night all and hope that everyone has awesome dreams?
(of me in a speedo sans potato :blush
ItsJustMe

AF since 10/16/10
Doggie is gonna have to find a new use for her jar

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily - Tuesday 11/9

Hi IJM, I am still with you my friend...not a drop.
Honestly, I rarely think about it. But when I do, the thoughts are strong for a couple hours and I contemplate getting a bottle and kind of wrestle with the idea. I haven't gone and got a bottle, even though I had a friend call me yesterday wanting to come over with a bottle of red wine for me so we could talk, have some chili and enjoy a bottle together. I didn't really have the time...but I know if I really wasn't trying I would have definetely made the time. I always made the time in the past, so maybe I am stepping up a bit. But I don't have the cravings all the time, or everyday..just every now and then. I am sleeping amazing again! I don't need anykind of help at all anymore which I love! I haven't slept this good in a very long time, well, since before I had my little girl. And you couldn't be more right, it defienetely is worth the wait..the good nights sleep alone does it for me!