AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

[Brigitte Bardot]

Good morning,

And time to come clean. I did go to the shop yesterday. I came home, drank two small glasses of red wine, and almost immediately threw it back up in the sink. It was like my body had an allergic reaction to it. It didn't taste good, going in and especially coming back up and I dumped the rest down the sink. I could feel it right away in my blood stream and I have to say getting rid out of my body I felt so much better. I honestly don't regret doing it because atleast now I know there is no love there anymore. I know what happens and I don't have that constant lingering thought anymore. Thanks to everyone in chat last night and all the support I received, it really wasn't in vain it really did help cement the thought in my head that drinking and me just don't get along. I guess however there goes my almost 30 days Back to Day 1 since I did taste Alcohol.

Forging ahead though! I do feel great this morning. Little Gia has a birthday princess party this afternoon so I'll be getting her ready for that, she is very excited! Have to get their presents ready, since it's for twin girls. I have my parents coming today and getting some excavating done..so it's going to be a busy day I think.

Much love to you all,
:l

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

BB, I'm sorry to hear you decided to drink. So much of this battle is in the mind and in the spirit. Onward.

Am waiting for it to get light enough to drive safely (have to be careful until I can get night driving glasses). Then I'm off to pick up Sister. It is the 12th anniversary of one of my home groups, and Sister was part of the founding bunch for this meeting. They are having a breakfast and she's really excited to go. I'm grateful to be starting my day with activities that strengthen sobriety for me.

One thing is for sure...there will be no AL for this girl today.

DG

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Good morning DG, I am sorry I did as well. As soon as I took my first drink it felt all wrong. I didn't miss the taste of it, it's all in my mind. You make it up to be this good thing and all the internal decision making and justifications you go through, when in fact alcohol really hasn't done anybody any good. And I'm done, with no lingering thoughts. I'm just happy I poured the rest down the sink, I didn't do anything stupid and get drunk..nothing like that.

The dinner sounds like fun, watch the roads. We have deer jumping out all the time here..

[Guitarista]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Greeting's Abber's!

Good job BB!
Have a great breakfast DG, and please give Sister my warmest regard's.

A safe, sober, and magical day to everyone, and, one thing is for sure for this dude...........

[greeneyes]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Yo Bitches! (having trouble letting it go)

Bummer BB. (I told you it was nasty) You can still make a 30 day goal before X-mas. Re: your not regretting it with your ah-ha moment. I get that, having done that after a year. Speaking for myself, I was careful to not glean false security from that realization. I imagine a busy day will be good for you today.

DG, what a great way to start the day!!

I'm going to yoga class and then on a road trip and picnic to here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfU2vzZrUho[/video]]YouTube - Pearl Fryar's Topiary Garden

I want to ask you a question. I'm struggling with feeling selfish. And if I AM being so, I want you to tell me. GF who is not a tidy person, has a portion of her house that is out of control. (think rake and wheelbarrow) Daughter and BF lived in that area and it wasn't sorted after they left I guess. But GF is like that - aways has always will I guess; like a tornado went through. Now she wants it cleaned up. (Daughter and BF? Don't know. Maybe it is all her stuff) She wants me to spend tomorrow helping her clear it out. I have a million reasons (activities like an artisan's fair, an oyster festival, taking little doggie at the park in this gorgeous carolina fall weather, and visit my dad) for not being able to do it but my reasons don't matter. I don't want to. It's not like her making a fresh start and keeping it that way. It's just a periodic digging out. When I try to convince myself to do it, I get a bubble of resentment. Am I acting selfishly?

Off to yoga! One thing is for sure!!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Hi g-string! XO

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Oh believe me, I'm not being cocky or anything over this whole thing. It was just a moment, and I'm happy it's passed. I'm just not into drinking anymore, I am honest to goodness okay with it, but I really feel if I didn't do that at some point it would always be nagging in the back of my brain. I guess that's my personality trait, I don't know. But I am content in the knowledge that wine is not a magic potion to make everything better, it doesn't help you sleep better, it gives you false courage..and burns your fucking throat out coming back up. I can't imagine what I would be like today if I drank the whole bottle? Yuck.

I don't think you're being selfish. I don't know why people can't do more things on their own, to be honest. If I need my house cleaned or organzied I don't call people over to help me. I do if I need a truck to haul garbage away since I can't do that in my car..I would rather go to the oyster fesitval and enjoy your day.

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Morning G...G-string? I thought you went commando like the most of us girls here? Did we lose a team mate?

[Sarasmiles]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Good Morning Abbers,

Just popping in to start my day on a focused AF note.

Greeneyes...Take care of yourself. Of course I don't know the details about the people you refer to, but I do know that you are not a selfish person! If you'll resent sacrificing a day, don't do it. I too often give up my time to others because it's hard for me to say no. Of course, with my young kids I often have no choice, but with others I do. We all need to take care of our own needs and not just those of others.

BB, glad you felt that the wine was nasty. I had one glass last night myself. I didn't find it nasty (or throw it up) but drinking it did give me an anxious, guilty, "what am I doing and where am I going with this?" feeling. I woke up in the middle of the night filled with fear, because I had let the moderation myth overcome me again.

Today is a new day and I have lots of good plans for work and family.

Be well everyone!

Sara

[papmom3]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Greenie-you are facing the exact same situation I am with my friend. She desperately wants me to come and help her "declutter". I have told her firmly NO. I don't have the time, I don't have the expertise to deal with the reasons why it got that bad (very important or nothing will change) and I have my own shite to clean out. I don't feel selfish at all. She needs professional help with this and I've told her that and offered to find some companies she can interview. She has not taken my up on the offer.
Remember on the way back from the beach I told her I cannot discussion this issue with her anymore? I meant it.
Now having said that, I was in her house last Sunday and she proudly showed me one small room she had cleaned out very nicely. I praised her up and down and encouraged her to keep going. Unfortunately all she did was move the crap into another room. But it's a start.
Stay true to you. If this was a situation where you knew she had just gotten overwhelmed, needs a helping hand and would never let it get that way again, it might be a different story but from what you say it is not.
Good luck with your decision and sending lots of hugs your way so that you feel good with whatever it is.

BB-Not going to say it's all right, just start over. But the fact that you had such an adverse reaction to the AL is a very good sign. I keep how I felt the next morning after my last nite of drinking May 8th first and foremost in my brain and whenever I get the urge, like last nite, I pull it up in 3D and tell my AL brain that AL is poison, like hemlock. It is NOT something romantic and calming. We need to keep these movies and intense feelings right up front 24/7 until such time as our non AL self is stronger than our AL brain. We're here to support you and love you but not to hold your hand. Ultimately you have to do this yourself as you are the only one who can bring that glass to your lips.

Bear-that goes for you as well. I actually think you may have reached your own version of bottom judging from your reaction to grab onto anything that can help you beat this. What you've described is very much what my reaction was on March 5th after calling in to work on Day 2. I'm rooting for you because I do think you're finally getting it. Just to help you with the social thing-I declined to go to my sister's Labor Day party this year because of the temptations that would be too strong for me. It's a party I have never missed in over 20 years and one that I look forward to because I see people I don't see all year, the swimming, the food and of course the booze. It killed me not to go and at the time it was the right thing for me to do. Afterwards I found out that a guy I haven't seen in over 15 years and who was as big an Alchy as anyone of us was there and not drinking. He has major health issues and is now AF. Hindsight says I would have loved to talk to him and hear everything but I didn't know he was going to be there. Anyway, I survived not going to the one social event I've always loved and you will too. Next year I will be strong enough to go and you will be strong enough at one point to handle anything that comes your way IF you keep to your plan and just say NO!! It really is a matter of whether or not you put that first drink to your lips or not.

OK, sorry for the sermons. Just had to get that all out.
Now I'm late for work of course!! Gotta work on this addiction next :H!!
Love you guys, every single one of you!! :h DG-have a blast at your breakfast and meeting!!

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Sarasmiles;1002503 wrote: BB, glad you felt that the wine was nasty. I had one glass last night myself. I didn't find it nasty (or throw it up) but drinking it did give me an anxious, guilty, "what am I doing and where am I going with this?" feeling. I woke up in the middle of the night filled with fear, because I had let the moderation myth overcome me again.

Morning Sara, I felt that too..it sneaks back in. I know I can't moderate. I'm happy I actually threw it up, thank god really! I had those feelings last night lying in bed as well. Let's work on this one, when ever we get those thoughts PM me and I'll PM you so we can be accountable atleast to eachother and see if there's a trend..maybe it goes after so many days, an event that comes up? If you're okay with it ofcourse!

Have a fabulous day!

[Lavande]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Morning Abbers!

Gia, sorry about your decision to drink but glad to hear it was over so quickly.I just keep telling myself - NO, I don't do that anymore! Same with the smokes.

Sara, good to see you, hope you are well

Greenie, I allowed myself years ago to be dragged into cleaning out my GF's parent's house - the entire thing! We stayed there & worked like dogs for the whole weekend. They were real pack rats too. I just threw everything into trash bags, didn't bother sorting a thing. It was not a satisfying experience in the least.

I need to get into gear here - I running late.
Wishing a good day for everyone!
Lav

[ItsJustMe]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Waz up Dudes and Dudettes ?

What a beautiful Saturday morning!!!!

First, and most and most important ? thanks to all for the PMs and chats last evening. Weekends are tough for some reason. But I ate an entire medium thin crust pizza last night. Guess the Weight Watchers police will be at my door today. It was the lesser of two evils?

Bear ? Don?t beat yourself up at all. It sounds like you have armed yourself with better ammunition this go around.

Same to you BB ? What is the big deal of restarting 30 days when you discovered how bad a drink can be ? that can only make you stronger?.

Here I am talking like the big ol? expert on this subject. I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in my journey.

Special thanks to Doggie for a very frank email loaded with wisdom.

Ok, now down to this weekend. I made up my mind that two things are going to happen. I am going to start some unfinished projects today and tomorrow I am going to walk back thru the front doors of the health club for the first time in over a year! (yea, I keep paying $120/month ? what a waste).

This weekend projects include:
- Moving the assholes out of our bedroom (number 1 priority)
- Cutting a load of fire wood (I?d love to have gas logs but my wife the hill belly likes REAL fires. When we met, I took her out of the mountains and put shoes on her :farmer: ?)
- My salt water reef tank looks like it has been though 4 levels of hell. Need to fix that.
- The garage looks like who did it an left. Need to fix that.
- Gonna end the day with a big ol? plate of wings

A word on wings. When I do wings, I am serious about them. A lot of folks order them hot. The place I go, Hot is just the mid point. The levels above hot are ?Three Mile Island? and ?Death?. I order ?Death? with a side of ?Death Sauce?. They are so hot that they burn going in and coming out?. Seriously! :b&d:

Ok, I guess I better get off the computer and busy on the list.

Hope everyone has a great day! For me, One thing is for sure!!!

itsJustMe
AF since 10/16/10

[momof3]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Good Morning All,

BB, Happy to hear that you put that drink down right away are got right back on the wagon. You too, SS.

Greenie, You are not obligated to clean up anyone else's shit literally or figuratively. Really, not selfish at all.

Hello to Papmom, DG, Lav and all to come.

[choppersmom]

AF Daily-SATURDAY Nov 13!

Good Morning All,

BB, sorry to hear that you drank last night, but you are right back on the wagon. Onward and upward from here.

Greenie, To answer your question from yesterday, Chopper was my dog. My ex-boyfriend got him when we split up. Miss him dearly, but I know he's well taken care of. Also, I don't think you are being selfish at all. I've been in those situations before and I've ended up doing most of the work. Let them clean up their own mess, and you go enjoy your day and what you want to do!

IJM, you sound very positive and upbeat this morning. Glad to hear you made it through the cravings.

I had a stressful day yesterday as well and really got hit with cravings. I have limited computer time right now, so couldn't really come here. I talked to my girlfriend, took a hot bath, drank a lot of tea, and went to bed. It was tough, but a reminder to me that I must be on guard.

Hi DG, P3, Lav, G, Sara, M3, and anyone who stops in today. I have a busy day of decluttering my house. My grandson is taking over with all his stuff, so now it's time to organize or move. Not sure which would be easier!

Have a happy, sober Saturday!