AF Daily - Tues 11/16

[greeneyes]

Wakey wakey!!

I woke up at dark thirty and finally gave up trying to put myself back to sleep.
Today is the anni of my mother's transition. She was such a kind soul who was quietly worried about my drinking; unfortunately, for years. We would talk and I would tell her it was OK to go that we'd all be fine. We both knew I really meant me. Hospice told me she was worried about me. I feel badly about that. But that's in the past and today I will smile and give her a wink as I light a candle and honor her memory and know that she's smiling back because she sees that I'VE STILL GOT THE THRILL!!

I went by to visit my dad last night but he must have asked for a sleeping pill because I couldn't wake him up. So I sat there and watched him for a while. And thought about the twists and turns of our relationship. Did I mention the drinking buddy phase? At the time I thought we were sorting things and maybe killing a bottle of scotch was the only way we could. It certainly got a lot out on the table, but did you ever notice the correlation between the amount of AL consumed and the size of your ego? Yes, DG, I feel fortunate to be able to experience this. Clearly, one of my challenges in this life is in my caregiving skills. I thought I'd outsmarted the universe by not having children. Ha! Gia, that is why I think people are in your life and do what they do - to facilitate your spiritual challanges by presenting the situations for you to navigate, while at the same time, creating and navigating their own.

One thing is for sure... I'm glad alcohol is out of my life so I can navigate this stuff better.

I'm being treated to dinner tonight for an early birthday pressie!

Have a terrific tuesday!

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Greeting's Abber's!

Ah Greenie........I wish for you a very happy and beautiful day. XOX

Best wishes everyone.

[Sarasmiles]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

What a wonderful post, Greenie. I'm wishing you a beautiful day, too.

Good Morning to all Abbers...It's a gray one here, but I'm going to make the most of it. Be well everyone.

Sara

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Hi Fabbies! Greenie, it took about 2 seconds at my first AA meeting to realize that there is a very large body of belief out there about the connection between AL and EGO.

I saw in your post last night that someone at the foo foo party asked where you live. I want to applaud you for your modesty in not telling him about the castle. I assume you must have left your crown at home???? :H (you make a fabulous queen!)

I like your description of the interwoven nature and purpose of things - we are meant to navigate them. So beautiful with you and your Dad despite the ups and downs of it. I also love your description of how you honor your Mom.

BTC, I too wanted desparately to keep drinking and just learn how to control it. :H:H:H is all I can say.

Hi Sara and G-String and all to come!

I'm zoom zoomin but one thing is for sure. I LOVE my AL free life and I'm not gonna screw that up.

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

GM Abbers,

I'm here but extremely snotty due to this cold/sinus thing. Kind of gross!

Greenie, my Mom has been gone for a very long time but I still miss her, talk to her quietly. I feel some comfort in doing that. I think it's wonderful that you are making great strides with your Dad. You are turning into a great caregiver

Greetings to G, Sara, DG & all to come!
I need to get moving - EB will be here shortly!!!!!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday!
Lav

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Have a wonderful day, Greenie. My dad an I also had a drinking buddy relationship at one point. We use to go 'Pubbing' together, or had 'kitchen' parties at his house a couple of times a week. I have to say though, it was a LOT of fun. Good times with him. That was just before the drink took hold on me. He is an alcoholic. Was very functional. Of course the past few months he hasn't been drinking because he has been so sick. Which is very weird because I never saw the man until then without a beer in his hand after work! But, all in all, I had some really fantastic times drinking with him back in the day. When drinking was still 'fun', and not a huge devastating problem for me.

Lav, I hope you feel better soon!

Hello, DG, Sara, Guitarist, and all that come.

I am off today. Thank God! I am burnt out. Long shifts, lots of driving.... I will take Little AFM to school and then come home and park my arse on the sofa for a bit and unwind.

Feeling a LOT better today mood-wise. I honestly thought I could really kill someone the last two day, the way I was feeling. I guess we can't have a fantastic day every day.

Have a great day everyone!!

[peacenik]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

morning all!

greenie, say hi to your mom from me :l

ego, what ego?! :H

i am going to call a dr. for the pains i have been having in my right side and back...i'm kind of worried about it. wish there were naturopaths around here...argh. i've had trouble in my intestines (thats a nice way to put it) for 3 weeks now, so i guess i should get that checked out as well. yuck, i really despise going to the dr, but i guess i should take care of myself!

have a good day!

[breaking_the_cycle]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Peacenik, really sorry to hear about your intestinal pains. Any idea at all what is causing it?

[peacenik]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

probably past alcohol abuse as it hasn't gotten any better since i quit a month ago...yikes.

[universal]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Hi guys!

Greenie, sounds wonderful. It will be 10 years on Jan 1st since my mom passed and I miss her a great deal.

I had a good therapy day yesterday - I actually feel pretty good today and am up and getting things done. Usually Tuesdays are write offs for me after emotional Mondays. So for the fact that I have some energy I am grateful. I am going to do some cleaning and then go to the noon meeting ( I really like that one). Maybe I'll have a nap this afternoon if I feel that I need one.

Busy day though!

One thing is for sure......

[Choochie]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Hi All - happy sober Tuesday.

Greenie - we have some interesting parallels in our lives. My mom too was worried about my "lifestyle" and "transitioned" with that feeling unresolved. I don't have children either and was the caretaker for my dying mom and am now pretty involved in visiting/caring for my 88 year old stepfather. I find I have a lot more patience dealing with him now that I'm sober. I hope my mom can see that I have now "cleaned up my act."

Mr. G., Sara, DG, Lav, AFM, Peacnik (hope you figure out the intestinal prob - not fun)

My best to you all and others who visit this thread today......... I love, love, loving being sober.

Choochie

[Raven.joy]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

I managed to hide my drinking form my mum when it was ongoing, this last year since I quit I have told her some of it. About the 3 bottles of wine a day stage and drinking secretly at work and using antabuse to dry out. She was totally shocked, I at first regretted telling her as she seemed so upset. I think it has improved our relationship now though and we certainly communicate better.

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Hello friends,

Thanks for bringing up the subject of parents again Greenie. I get really sad when anniversaries roll around that make me think of mine. Especially my mom I guess. Mother's day was unbearable for me at first. I'm sure they both passed on a little worried about me and my family. I'm glad I can honor them today by at least trying to be the best I can be. My sister expressed her concern for my boys when we visited. It's kind of amazing what people can sense even when they're not around us much. I had a dream this morning about my brother and mom and dad were both there and we had a nice discussion. Of course they were both on my side since I have always been the spoiled one! I love dreaming about them. I am going to make a conscious effort from now on to celebrate their life instead of mourning my loss. :h

Still concerned about my son's situation, but he's handling it so far. I did e-mail the principal because I think he needs to know what is going on. Even though I might disagree with my son's decisions, I have to say I am proud for his self confidence and ability to stick up for himself.

Since Sheri is taking a break :upset: I went ahead and bought the book she was talking about: "Let Go Now" Embracing Detachment. I've just got started, but I really like it. Another one I am loving is "The Language of Letting Go" both are daily meditations for us co-dependents. Call in a message from the Universe or Guidance from above, but here are a couple of passages from yesterday.
Our answers will come. Our guidance will come. Pray. Trust. Wait. Let go. We are being led. We are being guided. Today I will let go of my need to control by waiting until the time is right. When the time is right, I will take action.

Today I will let go of the fears and self-doubt that block me from taking assertive action in my best interest. I can take care of myself and let others do the same for themselves.
We can have our angry feelings. We can connect with them, own them, feel them, express them, release them, and be done with them. Feelings are just feelings; there's no morality in the feeling, only in our behavior.

I sent my brother an honest e-mail about why I felt intimidated and how I tried to subtly let him know how I felt and when that didn't work I laid it on a little heavier. I could have said alot more, but I am pretty proud of the way I handled the situation. I'm glad God intervened and he didn't get the phone call that I made when I was really angry.
He replied today and it was very heartfelt and honest. The best news is he very much wants to keep the family together and he and my SIL have plans to spend more time with Terry.

Yay me! Yay getting sober! This would have been an entirely ugly dramatic affair if I were still drinking.

Have a great day all! :h

[bear73]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

hey all - just been catching up on posts - reading all your experiences of trying to moderate in the last couple of days threads has really helped me. Yes I can do it sometimes - but it's a huge bloody effort and 9 times out of 10 I can't and I drink too much /feel sick/depressed/smoke/vicious circle.The book 'the effectvie way to stop drinking' is great too as he emphasises it's WHY you drink that indicates a problem.

That's part of the problem, in that I feel like a fraud because I don't drink daily/huge amounts and feel if I went to AA people would think that I didn't have real problems."What's she moaning about?"

When I've talked to some friends they have said that I could drink a bit - I guess that's the danger of telling people - you get feedback and some of it not all helpful.

So no more for me - I have to stick to the one day at a time mantra though otherwise I freak out - but then I don't need to think about forever yet do I?I like the analogy of why would a heroin addict say I've been clean for x amount of time so I'll have some now.

Tough feedback at work for me today - someone I have been working with thinks I am aggressive in how I come across (I have had to give her a lot of negative feedback/guidance re her reports which are of a very low standard) I think on reflection this is partly true - I have been frustrated BUT I feel she is partly trying to deflect the criticism - I spent a lot of time saying to her 'I can see you're upset,please dont be , you do a good job etc etc'.Something to be aware of though - someone said to me that feedback is like a gift,take it,look at it,decide if you want to keep it.I like that.

I am pleased with eating healthily this week - and even at weekend during mum's visit if I had one big meal I didcompensate with very small breakfast and dinner.I'll be skating 4 times this week and walking to work tomorrow so I am hoping that's enough exercise to be ticking along with.

Anyway good day all to come - off to change into pjs and have bubble bath/face mask.

Day 5 and pushing on.

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily - Tues 11/16

Hi there everyone! Late check in for me. My mom, Angel face and I went to they city for groceries. I got the most gorgeous leopard print fake fur jacket for my darling girl and it looks really fabulous! I can't wait to put it on her, she loves clothes as much as I do..and some new sparkle ballet flats for her Christmas dress. It's a rainy day all day here today and I'm heading back over to my parents house to help my Mom blanche her carrots from the garden and put them down in the freezer for the winter.

One thing is for sure..another AF day for me and loving it. I am tired as hell though, I think it's all this rain. I'm going to turn all my white Christmas lights on for when we come home the place will be all lit up for her, she loves that.

I did get asked out on date, some place where I can wear a nice little black dress and I'm looking forward to that. He's divorced with two children, own his own safety company...yikes, a date.