AF Daily - Sunday November 28

[Doggygirl]

Hello Fabbies. It's a zoom zoom moment but wanted to get the thread going for today. I'm off to an early AA meeting to get my head on straight. This is the meeting where I remember first hearing Step Coach talk about his early higher power. That had a huge impact on me. His wake is later today so I'm guessing most of us at this meeting will have something to say about him. I'm looking forward to that.

One thing is for sure, there will be no drinking AL for me today.

DG

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Good morning DG!

I hope you have a good day today and find some inpiration at the meetings.

I woke up today thankful that I wasn't hungover, I had such a drawn out last couple days that I'm actually feeling really run down because of it. I couldn't imagine being hungover along with it. Little Gia had such a great playdate yesterday and she was so excited, the lady gave her a ZhuZhu pet as a present to take home with her. She's completely in love with this little hampster.

One thing is for definite sure, there will be no AL for me today..

Good morning to all the Abbers who check in on this cold day...

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Good morning DG & Gia!

Happy to be unhung myself today!
Today is the big birthday blow out for my son & EB
There will be lots of people gathering in my son's tiny house, lots of kids running around & of course the Insanity Twins too :H No way in hell could I deal with all that hung over!!!!!

Wishing a wonderful AF Sunday to everyone, I'll be back after the party!
Lav

[Choochie]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Morning All - I already posted this on a different thread but wanted to also post here in case you guys have any pearls of wisdom to throw my way:

Had a tough night last night at dinner - really wanted to order a glass of wine, but didn't. Wasn't fun, though (at all). Bothered me that I felt that way because I had really been doing well on not wanting alcohol. I seem to be ok at home but when I go out, it's harder for me to not think of drinking. Funny, no matter how much logic I use, the thoughts still creep in. Ugh. It was that feeling of not being able to imagine not drinking for the rest of my life. So, I resorted to trying get back to the ODAT thinking, ordered some tea and food, and then things got better. I sure hope this doesn't happen again - it was depressing. But, the good news is, I didn't do it and an not hung today. Am really looking to NOT having that kind of episode again.

DG - I'm toying with the idea of AA next Saturday. There's a women's group that meets once/week. Think I'll go read some of your AA threads.

BB, Lav, and everyone else visiting here today, have a super day.

Choochie

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Lav, good luck on the house party! Lots of kids in a small house...I am very familiar with!

Choochie, I was given some good advice about these scenarios, and it was to get used to the idea of being uncomfortable for a while. And amazingly, it's helped me. Until I get used to breaking old habits and replacing them with new ones, it will be a knee jerk reaction for me to be uncomfortable for a while. But, it does get better. Having a bottle of red wine when out for dinner was a very normal thing, and quite normal for others as well. I'm proud of you for not giving in to the sudden feeling, even though you felt aggitated at the start I bet you do feel better this morning about your decision.

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Dg--I'm sorry about your step coach. :l

Choochie--Gia expressed my thoughts on this as well. For me some things are not as much fun sober, period. But some do get better because for one we don't have to worry about getting drunk and saying or doing something stupid, and we don't have to deal with the hangovers or remorse and we can remember all the conversations!! I find that most things are fun for awhile, but then it gets old watching everyone else drink. So, I think it's kind of a trade off, and it's all about our attitude.

Have a great sober day all. :h

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Good morning everyone!

DG - thinking of you today. It sounded like Step Coach touched many in his sobriety.

Lavande - have a nice Birthday blow out for your son!! I am still not sure who EB is?

Choochie - WTG on not ordering that glass of wine. Long time habits are hard to break. The more you encounter situations and make sound decisions; the easier it will get. xo

Well, visit with dad yesterday was sad. He really is suffering. He is on such high doses of pain medication now that all he does is sleep all day. He was awake while I was there, but really fighting it. He felt badly that the last two times I visited he was asleep for most of it. He also said that he feels he made the 'wrong' decision in regards to getting the feeding tube. The man is tired of struggling to find comfort in his days... that made me feel sad. I hate the fact that he is going through this and that he has no quality of life. Next Saturday is his 62nd birthday. I am planning on doing something fun for him. Even if it is simple. Lots of balloons, some jammies, a 6 pack of his Ensure Plus (that is what he eats through the tube) with candles taped to it. Some fun stuff to open up. I know this will be his last birthday. I will be taking Little AFM with me this time. I will try to think of some other stuff to make his birthday a bit brighter. If you have any suggestions, please, by all means, let me know!

I am off to my private client's today. I would rather just head back to bed and pull the covers over; I am feeling really bummed since yesterday. I came home and bit soon to be XBF's face off, and then went to my room and cried.

Anyway, must keep plugging along. Have a great day everyone. xo

BB - my daughter has one of those hamsters too. She just loves it!

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Good morning LVT. We x-posted. Have a good day!

[Choochie]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Thank you Gia, AFM & LVT for these words - they definitely do help.

AFM - My mom actually refused a feeding tube and died of her cancer. Her esophagus closed and so she literally starved to death. I'm telling you this because she told me repeatedly that she was in no pain. She did not take the morphine that Hospice made available to her. I wanted you to know this in case your dad has his removed and also dies from starvation. I know it sounds terrible, but maybe you can take some comfort in knowing that my mother did not feel pain. I read once that there is a sect of Jaynes (a buddhist sect) who plan their deaths this way. They know how to do it gradually and when they're ready to die, this is how they do it. I realize it all sounds morbid, so I hope I'm not making you feel worse by sharing the information. For me, if I knew a loved one's death was imminent, I would take comfort in knowing that they might escape pain during their final days/hours. The body does have natural mechanisms (like shock) that protect us.

Sorry if this was a downer post, guys, but it really shouldn't be -- hope it wasn't.

Choochie:l

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Happy Sunday ABeroooos!

Coochie, I can relate all too well what feelings you had last night. I think it's a part of the mourning process and simply something you have to plow through and ditto what the others here have said.
I was at a party last night with Dx and there was plenty of booze all over the place and the air was heavy with it. Somebody was asking me about liquors and I gave my opinion on some flavor pairings etc (from past experience) At one point a couple of the guests asked if I was ready for a shot of cognac and I joked that I'd first need to put on a helmet and be locked in a padded room for my own safety. this humor is one of my ways of dealing with my situation. it went over really well and they got a laugh and then started telling me about their friends that no longer drink and how great they are doing. After the party I drove an hour home in snowy icy roads and was so very grateful to be doing so 100% sober. what a blessing. anyway keep up the good work Coochie, these growing pains are totally normal.

AFM glad you are doing your best to enjoy your time with your dad. Hoping the very best for you all xxxxx

be well

[Choochie]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Det - thanks for your story and words of encouragement! It always helps when people with more sobriety than me tell me it will get better!!

[momof3]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Good Morning All and Happy Sunday,

Wow, lots of heavy stuff going on with folks and I am so grateful to be part of a group who is constructively handling the challenges/pain that life presents them. I think we all agree that alcohol won't make it any better.

Gia/BB--I am so impressed with you. You passed a big test to your sobriety, i.e., the unexpected communications with your husband. I am not surprised that you are feeling wiped out. The key word is "feeling." I don't know about you, but I used to drink to avoid having those difficult and sometimes overwhelming feelings. Funny thing is, I have learned that there is a bright side. Along with the pain, I now experience moments of pure and powerful joy that I never had when actively drinking.

Choochie, I recall those days of getting through an evening without drinking and how hard it was. The good news is, it gets better. There will be a day in the not too distant future that it won't even phase you to be around others who are drinking. I still feel a twinge of awkwardness but I do not experience craving. I think the awkwardness is more due to being restless and getting bored easily (hmmm! maybe that is why I used to drink). So, I don't hang around as long.

Hey Det, I loved your response to people asking you if you wanted a drink. :H Sometimes when people ask me, I will say "no think you, I've already had enough alcohol for a lifetime."

DG, Today must me a very poignant day for you. To lose a person who was such a part of your sobriety journey and an entry point into your fellowship with AA. Isn't it wonderful that he found his way out and was able to share so generously of himself. A life well lived.

AFM, I really feel for you. It is so hard to see our parents decline and to struggle around what is best to do. It is so great that you there and fully present for him.

LVT, I read your post the other day about TG. Goodness, I think I would have jumped out the window. You are a stong woman. IMHO, I think you should have spoken up and let them know that you needed to go to bed!! There is no need for you to feel tired and resentful because others are being insensitive. The humble assistant to Queen Greenie has spoken.

M3

[Choochie]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

M3 - I think it's the boredom that is getting to me more than cravings for sure. It's really comforting to hear you say that there will be a time when it's not consuming my thoughts! I'm counting on that.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Choochie,

The boredom is definitely a challenge for me. I think I am hyperactive by nature. I have used various strategies depending on the venue such as going for a walk, playing with kids, washing the dishes, etc. Anything really that will keep me from sitting around too long with a group of people. One on one is fine but the group chit chat just gets old for me real fast. Especially when people are drinking and start to repeat the same things. Geez, it makes me antsy just writing about it.

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Sunday November 28

Choochie;1012219 wrote: M3 - I think it's the boredom that is getting to me more than cravings for sure. It's really comforting to hear you say that there will be a time when it's not consuming my thoughts! I'm counting on that.
momof3;1012222 wrote: Choochie,

The boredom is definitely a challenge for me. I think I am hyperactive by nature. I have used various strategies depending on the venue such as going for a walk, playing with kids, washing the dishes, etc. Anything really that will keep me from sitting around too long with a group of people. One on one is fine but the group chit chat just gets old for me real fast. Especially when people are drinking and start to repeat the same things. Geez, it makes me antsy just writing about it.

Greeting's everyone,

Yes, yes, yes! I agree. Craving's haven't consumed my thought's for a long time. Group chit chat can be boring at the best of times, (okay not alway's) let alone when folk have had a few. I get out there and enjoy myself, but i ALWAY'S have an 'exit plan', i.e. my own transport home at least, whenever i feel the need to leave. The reason i leave early is mostly cause of boredom, when people start slurring and repeating themselves.

My thought's are with those that are struggling. Best wishes all. (Movember coming to an end, so new avatar and a shave for G-bloke wednesday. A great movement to raise awareness about Men's health, particularly prostate cancer and depression. Let's see more men involved next year, or right now.)