Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

[retteacher]

Everyone: I'm starting this thread a day early, as I'm not sure if I'll have time tomorrow. Thanksgiving was hectic...that's why you didn't hear from me very much. No drinking of course! My son came home for the week, & he's a recovering alcoholic (though he doesn't go to meetings). We went to an AA anniversary last Tues. together, & it was a really wonderful experience. Great speakers, great food!

I didn't have a minute during all the festivities when I felt that I would have liked to drink. I know how it makes me feel & just don't want that. I was a lone drinker, so I don't have as much of a problem w/the holidays as some who used AL as a social lubricant. Not that I didn't drink while I was out. I just monitored myself strictly & didn't drink w/abandon. This will be my second holiday season sober (w/HP's help), & I will continue to work my program as best as I can.

I hope all is well w/everyone. DG, I'm so sorry about step coach. Thank God he died sober.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Hi Mary. I came looking for the old thread and here is the new one! Thanks for giving us a jump start on the week ahead. It's so great to hear from you and good that you had a nice Thanksgiving. Thank you for your sympathies re: Step Coach. His visitation is this afternoon so after I catch up and post here, I'm headed to the showers.

There is also another AA guy who I did not know well how died this past week. I do remember him from meetings. He is a Vietnam Veteran and I think he was very affected by his experiences during the war. I know he struggled over the years with both alcohol and drug addiction. He must have been in his 50's - not much older than me. Very sad. I don't know if he died sober or not, but my sympathies go out to his loved ones either way.

What is wonderful about the AA fellowship is that most people are in similar shoes as I am. Step Coach is very well known and well loved by many. The other guy is not as well known. And yet everyone I have talked to in my local AA circle over the last few days is planning to go to both visitations today. They pay their respects to our fellows - no matter how well we knew them.

AA has truly been a blessing in my life. Prior to AA, I never had the kind of love and concern for others - especially those I didn't even know well - to attend visitations out of respect. Today I look forward to going and take comfort in knowing that many of my fellows will be doing the same. We are not alone - not in the fellowship of AA.

The topic at the 12&12 meeting today was spot on for me.

Tradition 6: Our groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

This was a reminder for me that ALL AA groups are autonomous. The Club where I attend many meetings exists for the sole purpose of hosting AA and Alanon meetings. BUT - the Club is a separate business entity. It is NOT AA or Alanon. I have recently taken issue with the way the Club (it's board) has taken a position that I think is heartless towards the homeless people. But that is not a reflection on the meetings I attend - it is separate. I have filtered my thoughts and feelings on the matter through the serenity prayer. This helped guide me to what I must accept, and what I can change. Tradition 6 plus the prayer shed light on what for me, seems the right thing to do.

Catch, I thought of you today and the BB meeting you have been uncomfortable in of late. An old timer in todays meeting said "it doesn't matter whether Clubs like this one succeed or fail. AA will live on. There will always be a meeting somewhere." I believe he is right. And if there is not a meeting to my liking, I can always start one. Any 2 alcoholics joined together can have an AA meeting. How freeing is that?

Thank you all for being here for me and each other.
DG

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Hi Mary and DG,

I too have had a crazy week, ice / snow storm and thanksgiving, but I feel so grateful for not really having any craving for a drink through out all of this.
I also have a much better attitude towards the up coming Christmas season too this year. I usually dread all the work it entails but I'm really trying to absorb all the decorations etc this year.

I have to catch up on our big book study!!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

I've absolutely heard many times that if I don't like a particular meeting, find another or start another. Pretty simple. I do find that I have meetings I prefer, but I haven't gone to any meeting where I felt it was a complete waste of time. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Just got home from the two wakes. I spent the most time at Step Coach's. There were a lot of AA people there that I knew. What a tremendous fellowship. I didn't even know he was Catholic. Living proof that one can discuss HP and spiritual things in the rooms without bringing religion into it. Not everyone is successful with that, but Step Coach certainly demonstrated that it CAN be done.

He looked so peaceful laying there. I have seen many people buried with their Bible and a cross or rosary in their hands. He will be buried with his Big Book and his 35 Year coin in his hands. Mrs. Step Coach said "AA was his life." There was no secret about his affiliation. He used to introduce himself at meetings by saying "Hi. My name is Firstname Lastname. I'm an alcoholic and I don't care who knows it, as long as I don't forget it."

RIP Step Coach

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Thanks for you post DG. I am reading this while in bed, great words to end the day with.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

In many ways I wish I could be like Step Coach in terms of telling anyone & everyone about my alcoholism. I'm not there yet & am not sure I'll ever be. I wouldn't deny my alcoholism, especially to myself, because acknowledging it is what keeps me sober. However, there are people in my life who do not know about my membership in AA. That said: it is common knowledge that I do not drink for whatever reason. The last time we went to dinner at a friend's home, she was serving champagne cocktails. She got a special soda for me which looked just like the cocktail...it was pink & delicious. I was very grateful that she treated me to that. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Phil, I wish you could have known him.

Mary, I dont' think all of us are meant to be un-anonymous about our AA membership. That just wouldn't work in every life. There are many important reasons why anonymity is so important in AA.

You guys are my meeting today, and I really appreciate that you are here.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Last night's BB meeting was the chapter to the employers. So many of the membership had lost job after job. I didn't lose my job & was fairly functional. That said: I went to work hungover many, many times. I'm not sure how I got through the day...sheer grit.

We had a big family Thanksgiving dinner. Right before people arrived, I commented to my son that I had put on quite a few big dinners completely under the influence. I don't know how I did it. I think I just put my head down & just kept plowing through the dinner as best I could. Is that fun? I don't think so. I did get stressed out sober, but I also knew what I was doing, didn't forget anything, & enjoyed myself as well.

Mary

[Raven.joy]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

I prefer this site to meetings. Its like an ongoing meeting, or series of meetings even.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Raven: I too love this site, particularly this & the BB threads. However, I must admit that I actually needed face-to-face meetings in order to maintain sobriety. I'd have bouts of abstinence but couldn't keep it up. It wasn't until I started to go to meetings, got a sponsor, & started to do service work that I finally got some time under my belt. That said: both my brother & my son have stayed sober wo/AA. I'm not one of those purists who feel that AA is the ONLY way to get/stay sober. I'm so glad you've joined this thread. Please feel free to share any time. Mary

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Hello all,
I found myself not having time to post, trying to get into the AA swing, with attending three meetings a week, taking care of my 13 year old who is involved in sports, and working full time. I felt I didn't have the right time to read and reply to all the threads, and I didn't want to just post what was on my mind without having read everyone's posts and properly replying. I apologizing for falling off the face of the web. I find myself coming to this site daily and lurking, then feeling guilty for not jumping in somewhere. Maybe it's that old alkie thought that I don't belong. I don't know. I know I've found a fellowship that I feel a part of and that makes me feel strong and loving like I've never known.

Since my son has started into his basketball season, I'm rearranging my meeting times and places. Whenever he has games, I go to either a Big Book meeting (my first was tonight), or speaker, or open discussion. I've mapped out that whatever his schedule, I can fit my three meetings in. I have six meetings I can choose from a week, whatever works with the schedule, and that makes me feel good knowing that.

After the holidays, I'll be starting my step 4. I've read over and over several times about these steps. I'm kind of nervous about them as everyone says number five is the most important of all of the steps.
Of course, my alcoholic mind keeps thinking, don't screw this one up, too. I'm scared of these steps, yet, others say how liberating it was for them. Well, thanks for listening!

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

Good to see you again j-vo!!! I'm glad you're still keeping it up, and figured how to work your meetings into your schedule. I'm sure you're welcome here any time, and I certainly don't mind if you throw in a post when you can, and I bet no one else does either! Sometimes live AA meetings go that way too, right, and it's always been OK. :h

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

j-vo it's awesome to see you post! Please don't ever NOT post because you don't have time to reply to everyone. I know I would rather hear(see ) a quick hello than not hear anything at all! I'm so glad you are able to work out your schedule for meetings and work and your son's activities. Life is good.

raven-joy, it's great that these days, there are so many options for support. On the Big Book Discussion thread we just read a part where in the old days, lots of people didn't even have face to face meetings and were writing letters and waiting for replies. Oy. We have certainly come a long way with the help of modern technology and advances in recovery research!

Mary, your post about going to work hungover made me shudder. I went to work hungover every day. I don't know how I did it. Well, towards the end I really didn't do it. AL sure took its toll. Progressive indeed. I would have gotten fired over my drinking on the job and lack of performance if I hadn't quit first.

I really like the Hazelden thought for the day:

An inspiring book, a caring friend, a moment of silence - all can offer the guidance we seek.

We are learning to seek guidance on how to handle the serious circumstances of our lives. We used to feel we had to figure out everything for ourselves. What a gift it is to seek suggestions from friends we can trust. And hearing others tell how a line in a book gave them a needed answer has become a valuable tool too.

Relying on the silence for our answers, we are less certain at first. We can't always tell if it's our ego directing us rather than our Higher Power. The important thing is that we are looking for help. We are no longer blocked by our need to be self-reliant in all matters.

Guidance is always available. We simply have to know where to look and be willing to hear.

I will look at my problems today as opportunities for intimacy with other people. Problems will free me from isolation.

I was just thinking over the weekend how grateful I am to have my sponsor to bounce things off of, as well as other friends in recovery. I really did try to muscle my way through every decision on my own. I really didn't even discuss things with my husband with an open mind. I was generally in the mode where I had already made my own decision and was working to 'sell' him on my point of view. I like having an open mind and not trying to figure life out on my own all the time. Lord knows I couldn't quit drinking until I found fellowship with other problem drinkers.

I just found out this morning that there will be an AA women's retreat in January at the place where Sister lives. It's a huge and gorgeous wooded property with several buildings and is a retreat destination for a variety of purposes. I'm planning to go and am really looking forward to spending time in this beautiful place in meditation and recovery.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Nov. 29 - Dec. 5

j-vo: Good to see you. I have a friend in AA who does what you do: goes to a meeting while her sons are at practices. It works for her. Sometimes she arrives a little late &/or leaves a little early, but it's better than no meeting. Also, please feel free to share whether you read all the posts or not. You belong here! We love hearing from you.

DG: The retreat sounds wonderful! I hope Sister is doing OK. Patty went to the oncologist yesterday. It was a very emotional day, but all is well, though we're all carrying a heavy burden, especially her.

Yesterday's speaker meeting was awesome. It was one of the few times a woman got up & told her/my story. She was younger than I am, but the same pattern emerged:
-slow progression
-fairly functional
-no complete loss of everything
-hiding the drinking
-spiritual bankrupcy
-etc.

It's good to be reminded of where I've been.

Mary