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December Determinators - Week 1

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    December Determinators - Week 1

    Good morning DDs.

    What do I make in my crockpot...hmmmmm. Yesterday I layered chopped onion, celery, carrots, potatoes, topped with boneless skinless chicken breasts. I buy a crock pot packet (Italian Chicken Herb) at the store and mixed it with a big can of diced tomatoes, poured over the veggie chicken mix, and put on low for 10 hours. It was really nice to come home to a warm meal, and the men had second helpings. I recommend spraying the crockpot with oil for easy clean up.

    Sped, Christmas shopping=stress to me. I had to go out at lunch (yes it is still snowing here) and buy mailing tape, wrap up a package last night, then stop at the post office this morning. Plus, I have not bought for the majority so it is not fun. I do like packages under the tree though. I am lucky, my husband will shop with me and he is a super wrapper, gift wrapper that is.

    SD, you were honest in your communication and that is all you can do. I agree with Rusty, who said that not much can be expected emotionally from someone who is "quite a drinker." You have to do what your heart tells you, and protect yourself emotionally. But it is still hard, it would be easy if the people we love were totally bad, but I am sure your Dad and family have tons of good qualities too.

    Chill, your roof is leaking? What a pain. In reading everyone's posts, I want you to know that the general consensus is, we believe in you. You will turn this situation around, you are already starting to plan, look at options, and move forward. You can and will do this, recreate your life. We all have to recreate ourselves over and over at different levels and seasons of our journey. It is never easy, we need support, and will have setbacks, but with perspective and determination it can and will be done. Whew, what a sermon. But I was just thinking about recreating our lives going AF. We are all doing this at some level. And if plan A doesn't work, we have to figure out plan B.

    Guess what? It's still snowing, with a forecast of snow all day and a few more inches tonight. This weekend? More snow. That's what I get for moving to the snowbelt. It was so dry though through the summer and fall, we can really use the moisture.

    So happy it is Thursday, closer to Friday. Have an AF day.
    Formerly known as redhibiscus

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      December Determinators - Week 1

      MMMM! Star that sounds delicious. How many chicken breasts did you put in? You must have a large crockpot. I have a large one and a smaller "just for two" size. The smaller one seems to cook much faster though. Almost half the time. Thanks for the recipe.

      Sped, I don't enjoy Christmas shopping either. I find it very stressful, but I still do it every year. This year we are cutting back though. Nobody has extra cash and it's no use going into debt for Christmas. That totally misses the point of Christmas in my opinion.

      SD, I don't know what to advise you to do. I think your dad's email was fine. He acknowledged your feelings and by doing so indicated that he understood and respected them. At least that's how it read to me. But I don't know enough about your situation to offer much more than that. How does Brayden feel about not going there for Christmas? Holidays are SO hard sometimes because family relationships can be so tricky. We want everything to be right and we want our relationships to be good and sometimes they just aren't. And they don't magically get better just because it's Christmas. I have something similar going on in my family right now and I just work on accepting things as they are and hoping that things will improve, but I can't MAKE anyone do anything. I can only work on my reaction.

      Have a great AF Thursday, one and all!
      Dill

      Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

      If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

      Comment


        December Determinators - Week 1

        Good Morning Everyone!

        Star - You are a Star to me :l your words of encouragement always warm my heart, thank you my friend.

        SD - I obviously dont know your Dad or all that has gone on but sometimes we are too close to things to see them clearly and your Dad's reply speaks volumes to me.....

        sdlovespackers;1019621 wrote:
        Thanks for getting back.
        You certainly should put your son and your feelings first.

        I'm sorry you feel the way you do--I always tried
        to do the best I was capable of for all of you girls.
        I'm sorry it wasn't enough.

        Have a wonderful Xmas.
        Love and miss you. Tell Brayden that I love and miss him, too.
        He thanks you and agrees your Son comes 1st. He apologizes - I know its not probably the apology you wanted but he is sorry, he then even indicates that he knows he didnt always get it right but it was "the best he was capable of". People do the best they can in life with the circumstances they have and dont usually deliberately cause hurt and pain, its because they dont always have the tools to get it right. He says he loves you both :l Sometimes its better to forgive and move on rather than disect who said or did what to who. At the end of the day you must do what you feel in your heart and dont put yourself in any position that may cause you further pain. I wish you much love and strength.

        My world continues to spin on its head and I go from the deepest despair to moments of emmense gratitude. Having confided in McLibra he is very angry with how my ex has treated me but Im glad to say I hold no ill in my heart. I took my dog to the beach early this morning and just sat on the sand staring out at the ocean. I wished it would just swallow me up.
        "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
        AF - JAN 1st 2010
        NF - May 1996

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          December Determinators - Week 1

          the beach this morning.....

          "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
          AF - JAN 1st 2010
          NF - May 1996

          Comment


            December Determinators - Week 1

            nO NO NO chill girl!! No ocean swallowing for you!! A higher power has much bigger plans for you-they are just in code right now. Stick with us and breathe deep. I have a deep gut feeling that on the other side of that wall you are facing is something so amazing and wonderful you'll be giving thanks for the rest of your life!! Just keep chipping away sweetie. It's waiting for you!! :h :h
            New Birthday: May 8, 2010

            "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

            KO the Beast!!

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              December Determinators - Week 1

              Chill, beautiful, beautiful pictures. Love the one with the sun on the waves. Hey at least you can be grateful it's not 3 degrees like it is here! And ditto Pap, don't let anything swallow you up. Your doggie looks so happy.

              SD, re your dad's email. I hate to say it but it sounds dismissive to me, like it's not a big deal whether you come or not. I seem to always read the worst in everything. Totally agree with Ms. Rusty though. Are you up for a phone call?

              Cyn, I love to give birthday presents too. Even more I love to just give random I love you/I'm thinking of you presents. Hoping to go to Chicago this weekend (if weather permits) to visit my college roommate. She's a fan of all things vintage and I found her a great necklace at a used jewelry sale a couple of days ago. Why wait till Christmas to give it to her? Glad you are enjoyed the coolness of December.

              Star, your meal sounds wonderful. Did you serve it over anything, rice, noodles? I think a career in nutrition would be wonderful. God knows the American people need some nutritional advice these days. I am struggling a bit with my cooking here at my son's. I'm pretty much a vegetarian but I made collard greens last night and boy did I miss that hunk of bacon I usually throw in. At least he's not pulling his vegan thing on me.

              Isn't it funny that everyone seems to hate Christmas shopping. It's like drinking. You hate to do it but you do it anyway.

              Have a good Thursday all. Am excited that it's getting up to 29 today. Planning on getting out of town, do some running on some country roads. Lav, keep an eye out for me. Cuban black beans and rice for dinner.

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                December Determinators - Week 1

                Chill, I totally agree with papmom! We both need to hang in there, wait for the next chapters in our lives to begin

                SD, trust that you made the right decision. Stay home with your son & enjoy a quiet, stress free holiday. See what shapes up with your Dad foe next Christmas......you never know.

                Hey kids, I use that same Italian herb seasoning mix in the crockpot - yum. My crockpot has been on vacation though, too much for for one person.

                No snow here but very, very cold! My teenage chickens seem to be loving it - no problems so far
                I'll be expecting egg production to begin early March. I'm in the process of lining up customers again. What else can you do with 26 eggs/day?

                I had a 'smoking dream' last night & woke up in a panic!!! I've been smoke free for 569 days & apparently I'm still worried about restarting. Wouldn't it be nice to send your sub-conscious on vacation once in a while :H:H

                Christmas shopping is complete. I need to pick up one gift for a friend & that's it! My DIL has an Etsy shop where she sells really nice photos you can frame, greeting cards that she makes with her photos, etc. You should take a look - a lot of the flower & tree pics were taken right in my backyard. The beach pics she takes near her parent's house in Cape May.
                www.capturecapemay.com

                OK, time to get to work.
                Have a wonderful AF Thursday one & all.
                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment


                  December Determinators - Week 1

                  Hey Shelley - cross post
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    December Determinators - Week 1

                    Chill - Ditto Papmom! Please don't even think of being swallowed up by anything! However, I can imagine that you are bone tired of trying to figure out all of this. Does the thought of the Labyrinth help at all? When walking it, you have to just keep on the path....when you are closest to the center, it feels as if you are very far away, then magically you are there. I'm sending special light to surround you today - please envelope yourself in it, and rest in the knowledge that we all are there for you. You have already conquered a deadly enemy - now you can take that same focus and initiative and apply to this. I'm so sorry you have to go through all this -

                    SD - ah, the tangled web of relationships. I basically come from the same place as Dill - do what you can, take care of yourself, and slowly learn to let the rest go. I am fortunate that I have good relationships with my family, but after the Thanksgiving holiday I was ready to throw the whole lot of them - HB included - out the window. It struck me then that the Hallmark Holiday version of family gatherings is really an illusion - sometimes we are lucky enough to have it come close, but it is not reality. I am now taking the position that holidays are for practicing 'loving detachment': can't do anything about the rest of the folk; and so I am determined to stay calm, let it go, and enjoy what I can. I'll let you know how that goes!

                    Rustop, I keep forgetting to say hello, and how much I enjoy your posts - thanks so much for the quotes, and the details about your snow-in. Hope the holiday was a little rest for you. Be careful driving your girls around!

                    Dewdrop - thanks also for your posts, and welcome, it is a pleasure to read about your life. My heritage is Scots, Irish and Welsh, and my ancestral home sounds like it is not far from where you live - it is on the coast east of Edinburgh, where some big golf tournaments are regularly held. I haven't visited there yet, but it's on the list...

                    Rebirth - good to hear from you, don't work too hard - but glad to hear that business is booming!
                    Rusty - also good to hear from you - are you on the road again? Take care traveling...

                    Hello to all - have a great AF Thursday - I will try to check in later --
                    to the light

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                      December Determinators - Week 1

                      Hey Lav - cross post! Also sending light to you, friend, I am sorry for all the heartache and stress you have had to deal with, and especially now with the holidays.

                      Red - yum with the recipe - thank you! And it's totally Zone - very healthy - you have a great start on being a nutritionist!

                      Papmom - not sure what my pup's condition is - could be a few things. Thanks for concern, the acupuncture and herbs seem to be helping -

                      Sorry so many of you are in the deep freeze - I'm sending warmth and sunshine from here!

                      Gosh - look at the time, have to run!!
                      to the light

                      Comment


                        December Determinators - Week 1

                        Good Morning!

                        Thank you all for your thought on my email with my dad. Dill, Brayden didn't want to go at all! That for one spoke volumes to me! I guess, I felt his email started off manipulative (meaning he acknowledged, but twisted my words and feelings)....the second paragraph wasa very 'feel sorry for me....look how much I've done for you...I'm sorry it wasn't enough for you' (GUILT)...followed by the I love yous (which I'm sure he does on some level but I also know this email was sent to his wife and my sisters as well to read). So, I guess I would have to agree with Sped...I really got the impression he didn't care one way or the other that I was there at Christmas. It really struck me when Rusty and then Star poited out that 'not much can be expected emotionally from such a drinker'....you are totally right....I'm looking for some type of emotional connection from a man that honestly I don't really feel one for myself...because there has never been one. He has been a complete drunk my entire life and emotional absent through everything! And when I didn't think he could possibly get any 'colder' he always seems to show me he can. Like when I married my husband...he disapproved of...he left me standing there crying in the church after my wedding because he wouldn't pay the Pastor (because I didn't get married Catholic...I disobeyed him!!) The day of my wedding!!!

                        Lav-you are absolutely right...I will enjoy my wonderful son and have the best time playing games, sitting by the fire, laughing and enjoying the love we have for one another...in an AF environment!!!!

                        Chill--Your pictures were so beautiful!!!!! OMIGOSH!!! How peaceful that beach looked!! I really hope things start looing up for you soon...I know they will!!!

                        We have our kids' Christmas program here at school today...something about seeing the kids all dressed up and singing Christmas songs that gives me gooses bumps and lifts my spirits!!! Plus I'm wearing a necklace with lightbulbs that flash...who can be bummed out wearing flashing bling...as the kids would say!!!:H

                        Hope you all have a wonderful day...I'll do my best to check back in later!!
                        SD
                        "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

                        6/18/11--7/3/12
                        7/29/12

                        Comment


                          December Determinators - Week 1

                          Hey, Shouldn't we be in week 2?
                          Dill

                          Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                          If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

                          Comment


                            December Determinators - Week 1

                            Good evening all,
                            Just managed to get some quiet time to read everyone's posts.

                            SD - My son was the second wise man in the nativity play. His line was short but I was SO PROUD of him.. Little kiddies sang out of tune, stared into the audience, waved when they shouldnt, fell over a couple of times, pulled at thier costumes..perfect chaos! I love it.
                            I ws just thinking today how much I love my son...more than anything else in the world. It frightens me sometimes.
                            I should be wearing a necklace that flashes in my shop. lol.

                            Chill - The pictures are beautiful and I am sending you love and clarity. x

                            Well folks..I have a few financial issues but today I am NOT drinking on it nor scoffing a packet of biscuits...I feel like smashing some crockery though. Life can be very challenging at times.
                            Be strong-
                            We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                            Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

                            Comment


                              December Determinators - Week 1

                              It's amazing how warm the 20's can seem after single digit temps. Long walk this afternoon, with a pocket full of chocolate truffles. I ate one every 5 blocks. Think the walk will cancel out the chocolate??? They were so yummy.
                              Feeling blue this afternoon. This back and forth between the southwest and the midwest sometimes makes me feel so rootless, homeless, some kind of -less word.
                              Anybody going to watch Barbara Walters tonight?

                              Comment


                                December Determinators - Week 1

                                I like Barbara Walters Shelley - I'll watch (if I remember) My short term memory sucks these days :H

                                Dill, we did forget about Week 2 - think it's memory deficiency? :H

                                I am pushing myself to learn to do certain things around here that YB used to do. Just stupid thing like printing address labels! I never bothered to learn to do that because somehow he knew how to do them. I hope he's finding a thousand things he doesn't know how to do Thank God for Google, I just printed instructions for printing labels!!!!!

                                It's 25 degrees & only 6 pm - looks like a very chilly night in store.
                                The teenage chicks don't seem to mind. - good for them. I'm sitting by the fire already!

                                Wishing a cozy night for one & all.
                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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