December Determinators - Week 1

[Guitarista]

December Determinators - Week 1

Hiya Chilli,

Sorry to hear that. McLibra sounds like a decent fella, and it's great you have some support on the ground over there. I suspect you're also very worried about your ex-husband's welfare too. You know what though?
You are right when you joyously say.....I'm SOBER! Because that will get you through. I know myself, that through tough times, my sobriety is my oasis, clarity, and my strength.

Hang in there, think positive and just do your best.
(Spare room here too at the moment)

Hiya Rusty! x

[papmom3]

December Determinators - Week 1

Chill-I'm so proud of you!! You're getting it!! You're learning to trust others and put your pride aside to ask for help and you're learning that you can do things you never would have thought you could do. I think you've got way more talent and skills than you'll ever know! I'm with Rusty-I've never let anyone but my parents take care of me and that ended when I went to college. My dad is there when I need help and I've learned to ask for it but for the most part I have to rely only on myself. You will be surprised at what you can learn to do if you believe in yourself and open your mind and heart to the possibilities. You are a very very smart woman so the possibilities are endless and the fact that you are staying sober through all this just puts you miles ahead of the game. I think you are smart to take it ODAT but unfortunately you do have to do some planning. Luckily you can stay in the house for another 12 months but those 12 months are going to go quickly and if you only take it ODAT you won't be prepared to put another roof over yours and little doggie's head when they lock the doors on you. So, don't wallow in the fear of what will happen a year from now-be proactive!! Take the new budgeting knowledge McLibra has given you, find a full time job and start saving for a rental now. You'll be ready to go when the time comes. Think of it as your lease being up and you can't renew because the owners are selling the house. Happens all the time. It did to me!! Would it be financially or emotionally better for you if you and your Ex were to actually divorce or dissolve the marriage? Has he been the one holding you back for whatever reason? It sounds like its time to make that break for good.
We all love you Chill and if we voice our opinions too much of what we think you should do that's why. Luckily you can choose to ignore us if you want since we're in your life virtually instead of in your face physically :H. Please keep checking in so we know you are OK.

:l :h

[Raven.joy]

December Determinators - Week 1

Lots of love to all on today

[Rusty]

December Determinators - Week 1

Good Evening Friends,

Raven-great to see you!

Chill-I am so proud of you in your courage to ask help from Mr. Libra, who sounds like a real gem. I'm sure he's happy to help you because you're a wonderful friend to have. Leave it to a classy and smart woman like yourself to maintain a friendship after determining that he isn't "the one." You'll find a way out of this financial situation and like G said, you have all my admiration and respect for doing this sober-you are such an inspiration to us all.

Well, I seem to have caught someone's flu bug and I have been bedridden most of the day-so no decorating at all got done...but I am happy to be AF this evening and surrounded by love from my family and my cyber friends.

I'll see you all in the morning!

[Lavande]

December Determinators - Week 1

Rusty, hope you feel better soon! It's good to get these viral things out of the way before the holidays

I have had one crappy day!!!!!!!!
My meeting with YB this morning left me in tears for hours but I'm over it now. He really does need a severe :b&d:
He's still talking about dollars & cents & I'm still wondering where the hell the promises, love & memories have gone

To top it off - my dog ate my dinner :upset:
I put it on the table, turned my back for a split second & it was gone!!!!!
Bad dog, bad dog :b&d:

I just can't get any respect :H

Love you all, Lav

[dill]

December Determinators - Week 1

:lHi Lav, sorry you had such a bad day with YB. I'm sending you lots of strength and peaceful vibes.:h And insult to injury with the dog eating your dinner! You poor dear.:l

Rusty, I hope you get lots of rest and feel better quick!:l

[papmom3]

December Determinators - Week 1

Aww Lav!! What a day you've had! I'll be right over to give your dog a few obedience lessons and I'm sure PAguy (where are you???) will be glad to whip you up a nice delectable substitute meal. Hang in there-tomorrow is a new day.

Rusty-so sorry you're feeling poorly but Lav is right-you don't want the bug during the holidays!! Have you gotten your flu shot yet?

I think the cold and early darkness are getting to me. All I want to do is eat and hibernate!! My sis did come through with Thanksgiving leftovers last weekend so I had a nice repeat dinner tonite. Yummo!! But now all i want to do is got to sleep!! I think I will!!

Tomorrow I'm going to a Teacup agility trial to watch a friend run her dogs. Looking forward to it. See you all tomorrow!!

:l

[Rusty]

December Determinators - Week 1

Hi Lav,

Thanks for the well wishes....you're right....good to knock this bad boy out so I can be jolly this holiday season.

Sooo sorry that you were so sad today. :l Sounds like YB is really in the midst of some sort of mid-life crisis. I read on the Daily Thread that he wants to grow a beard? This must be so hard for you....all those years you were together and he can't express any of his feelings.

And your dog ate your dinner? Many years ago, my parents were having a big swimming party at our house with a ton of people, and our black lab jumped on the picnic table and ran off with the entire roast. This is when having a Yorkie would come in handy.:H

Hope tomorrow is better for you, Lav.:h

I'm going to bed. It's only 7:00 but it feels like midnight. Nighty night, dear one.

[Lavande]

December Determinators - Week 1

Papmom - that's right!!!!!
Our PA guy John only lives a couple of counties north of me - he can bring me dinner :H:H

Some days are just too crappy.........tomorrow WILL be better

Greetings sister Dill. Did you get snow?

Greetings to you too Rusty! This 97 lb. dog of mine didn't really need a 2nd dinner - she had already eaten when she grabbed mine. I think she's part Great Swiss Mountain dog & part PIG!

[Chillgirl]

December Determinators - Week 1

Lav - :l the dinner must have felt like the final insult of the day!
I understand what you mean about the love and memories, I'm often screaming the same inside of me. Sometimes when I lie in bed I imagine that when I open my eyes again I will be safe in my life back in Scotland and my dear loving husband will be bringing me a cup of tea as he always did and the last few years never happened..... Just where does it go?

Sending you the BIGGEST cyber hug in the world. Tomorrow is another day :l

[Rusty]

December Determinators - Week 1

Hi Papmom,

Thank you for reminding me to get my flu shot! I meant to do that last week. You're going to a Teacup agility trial....as in Teacup Yorkie?

Dill-what are you doing tomorrow? Do you and Mr. D have a relaxing day planned?

Lav-my sister has a black lab and a yellow lab (puppy), and they remind me of the Insanity Twins. Thanksgiving Day, baby dog came very close to diving into our shrimp cocktail.

Now I am going to bed-after babying myself watching Mr. Mom.

See you all tomorrow.

xoxo

Rusty

[ladybirdheart]

December Determinators - Week 1

Last check in for a while here. Please stay SD, I don?t know if everybody here has been where you are but I have, more than once. I have learned something each time that continues to help me. You can get the skills to handle your work without going crazy but not all at once, just stay with us, explore alternatives, dig deep, you don?t need a different thread, none of us do, we need each other. I think the new posts about balancing the moment, the day, and proactively fostering the big picture are really important to me. To us. For me, as I lost my family early on and as such was not about to rely on anybody to let me live like a child even when I was one, let alone take care of me as I grew, I had only myself and I became/am insane with regard to taking care of things, everything that could go wrong, anticipating problems, living in the future, and never ever doing what people who live in the day, the moment do. I can at least briefly take care of a village but I can?t breathe in the park for more than a few minutes. I can?t forget for a moment what always needs to be done. We all need to be here to find the balance between letting go and doing. I think the people who find both lasting sobriety and functionality do foster this, and that their consciousness in the face of problems, joys, relief after a crisis, etc. gets more alert but still calm, for me with strong emotion I still want to lower my awareness to that which I think is relaxed, relieved, but in truth it is just lower and less able to live. So as I am now going to be ?on vacation? we shall see if I learn anything away when much is out of my perceived control. EEEEEEEEKKKKKK. Love and peace, Ladybird.

[Dewdrop]

December Determinators - Week 1

Morning from a lovely sunny but snow laden Scotland, it?s a beautiful day and I am going out for a walk shortly. I like to have a lie in on a Saturday and Sunday as my sleeping has not been good since I stopped drinking no matter what I take, so I switch off the alarm on the weekends and let myself catch up, feels a bit indulgent as I am usually up at 6.30am on a work day.

I had a lovely day yesterday with my friends, we went out in the snow after lunch and built a snowman and had a snowball fight which was fun, it didn?t seem that cold either because we built up a bit of a sweat building the snowman. I can see him from my window and he makes me smile because he is crooked and has a funny face. I made hot chocolate with marshmallows when we came back as a treat and we had it with the leftover cheesecake. I did have an issue with a bottle of non alcoholic wine they brought but have started a thread on that.

SD I am sorry to hear of your issues at work that just sounds like such a stressful job to be in, is there anyway at all that you can change jobs? The advice from others on counselling is good. You must be such a caring and compassionate soul for these children to reach out to you I wonder if there is anyway that you can transfer these skills into other types of work. Have you thought of speaking to a Life Coach, I have a couple of friends who have used them and gained huge insight into themselves and changed their lives. I know they can be expensive but it's just a thought.

I plan on having a very peaceful and quiet day today; I didn?t get my Christmas tree up yesterday as I was so busy so might put it up later or I might not. I?m reading Eat Pray Love at the moment and loving it so might chill on the couch with the fire on this afternoon.
Happy sober weekend to you all.

Dewdrop :h

[dill]

December Determinators - Week 1

Good morning Dewdrop, it sounds like you had a wonderful day yesterday! You reminded me of my snowman figurine collection which I have not set out yet. Like your funny crooked real-life snowman, looking at them just brings on a smile! Smiling is one of my tools for staying AF.

LBH, have a safe and fascinating journey. I look forward to hearing at least some of your adventures.

Travelling used to be horrible for me because my routine was disrupted and I could never be sure I would be able to scare up enough wine on a given evening to satisfy me. Truth be told, I was to the point that I didn't want to go anywhere, much less on a vacation, not even out with friends in the evening. I prefered being home, isolated and in the company of my wine. Thank God I no longer am that way! It took all the fun out of travel. Well, life, actually! I may not be all the way out but I am definitely further than I used to be
.
Rusty dear, are you feeling better? I have a quiet day at home planned. I have lots of cleaning I could do and loads of laundry. I may do some on-line Christmas shopping, too. What are you doing today?

Lav, yes we did get snow. Not a lot, but the ground is white. It's pretty. But the temps are so unpleasant! It's supposed to be a very cold week...and it's not even officially winter!!
Have a pleasant AF Sunday, Determined ones!

[Stargazerlily]

December Determinators - Week 1

Happy Sunday,

Well, we did not get any snow yesterday, it just missed us. It is snowing now but not a big deal. Truly, we can get a half a foot of snow and nobody blinks an eye, just plows on through. The schools here are rarely shut down. You just drive slowly and hope they plow.

Rusty, sorry you are sick, just rest and take good care of yourself.

Lav, I am so sorry your husband is so cold towards you. We are here for you as much as we can be. Please post and vent as much as you need to. The demise of a marriage is just hard, there is no easy way around it. I had an acquaintance who is divorced tell me, "It takes two." She made all the effort in her marriage and her ex just didn't for whatever reason.

Chill, so good you talked to a friend and asked for help. I too had not worked to support myself when the financial problems hit my family, and I was scared and felt not good enough. I obtained an office job and made a little over minimum wage, not enough to support a family, but it helped. Then I worked and went back to school, realizing that I had better be able to take care of myself. But, it was a process and took time. Sending you caring and supportive energy.

Sped, have you made it to your son's? Be careful and tell us about your adventures.

Cyn, where are you?

Greetings to Guitarista, LBH, Dill, SD, Sooty, Rustop and all.