December Determination - Week 2

[rebirth]

December Determination - Week 2

Good evening all

I am trying to stay in tune with my higher self but finding it very difficult right now...

I am getting hate mail from someone who use to work for me. I met her at an AA meeting over a year ago and offered her a job. She has been attending AA meetings for over 20 years but had some bad slips in the past year.

About a month ago I was thinking of leaving AA as I felt it wasnt right for me and she was very upset about my decision. She said she no longer wanted to work for me and was so let down by my decision. I told her that I wasnt intending to going back to drinking just because I dont want to attend AA meetings but she wouldnt have it. It was AA's way or none at all in her eyes. She resigned and then sent me a nasty email a few days later. Told me that I was soooo selfish for putting her through this grief. Eh?? I promply blocked her email

I just went through my junk mail today and found two more recent emails from her. She says that she will slander my name at AA meetings and wants compensation for jewellery that I "stole" from her ( I cleaned her silver jewellery and we both couldnt remember if she took them home or if they were perhaps stolen from my workbench.). I have till christmas to pay otherwise she will take me to court. That was the nicer part of the emails as the rest wernt so nice.

I cannot believe how angry she is? All this hassle JUST because I told her that AA may not be right for me any longer. Unbelievable. I was the best thing since slice bread when I was loving AA...

[rebirth]

December Determination - Week 2

Dill I need a quote from you to get me to rise above this!!

[Chillgirl]

December Determination - Week 2

Hi everyone
I had planned to read back and write a long post today but i never got to half on my to-do list. My life has gone into overdrive and I wish I could press the pause button. I had been anxious about Christmas and being lonely, about New Year and how to spend it but life is going so fast I will blink and it will be over.

One of the difficulties i have been experiencing is paralyzing fear which renders me unable to take any positive action and which destroys all my confidence. When i feel this way i close down completely and cant speak to or face anyone. However i have just experienced a huge shift in my thinking and I'm no longer in any fear about my future.

I will explain more fully when I get the chance, right now I'm exploring all my options some of which are pretty drastic.

At the beginning of 2010 I had so many hopes of it being the best year of my life, finally being sober and finding more joy. I couldn't have been more wrong... Well I got the sober bit right Being at rock bottom has many wonderful gifts, one of which is the gift of true friendship. There are certain people in my life who have shown such tremendous support and I am humbled by their kindness and belief in me. My Mum never stops telling me how strong I am and how I can handle anything. And so that is what I am choosing to believe.....


Rebirth - this woman is obviously delusional and best you have nothing at all to do with her, I wouldn't even answer her email. As for her bad mouthing you, I can only imagine she will do herself more harm, any people at AA are not going to listen to her, this goes against everything AA stands for. And please remember that what people think of you is none of your business :l

[rebirth]

December Determination - Week 2

Chill thanks for your words of comfort. I have settled down now.I was just a bit shocked...but at least I didnt drink on it. This would have been a perfect excuse to drown my sorrows in wine..sit on the pity pot etc.

And you are amazing to get through nearly a year without drinking yourself into oblivion. Remeber that our mum knows you best so believe what she says about you. x

[Lavande]

December Determination - Week 2

rebirth - ignore that woman! She obviously has issues.

I am reinforcing my defense shields as we speak. The holidays tend to bring out all the weirdos & troublemakers. I am not going to let anyone mess with me :H:H

Working a little OT tonight

[cyntree]

December Determination - Week 2

Quick check-in before my third shift tonight.
Dewdrop - I agree, the loneliest I ever felt was when I knew I was in the wrong relationship. If you don't mind saying, what is your work? Your house sounds snug and good -
Rebirth - ditto Chill and Lav - ignore that woman, and don't check your junk mail anymore. She is just trying to drag you down - don't let her!
Chill - whatever the change in your thinking is, hang onto it!! I'm so sorry for the fear, I understand. But your Mum is absolutely right - you are incredibly strong AND can handle anything, AND you've already proven that by taking on a life-threatening adversary. Hang on, you will thrive.:l
Have a good night all -

[papmom3]

December Determination - Week 2

Evening everyone!

Chill-I can't wait to hear more about what you are thinking about doing! You sound really good and upbeat. The drastic part is a good thing right??? We don't need to worry do we? Sorry-paranoia can be my middle name sometimes. Of course it's all good. It's our Chill!!

RB-I third the motion. The woman is a wing nut and shouldn't be given any thought at all. Don't you DARE give her any money. That's extortion and it's illegal.

Dew Drop-oh your abode sounds so cozy! I do like your idea about the scrap book. I think I will!! My family is all around me-in fact I just had dinner with my dad for the first time in quite a few months yesterday. I don't feel as lonely this year as I have in years past. I'm sure the AL was big contributer to those feelings. I'm so busy this year that if I finish my shopping before Christmas Eve it will be a miracle!!

Paguy-Hope your trip is going well and you are out of the snow belt for now. Keep on truckin' on the AF trail!!

Mylife-congrats on the 19 days! You are more than halfway to a whole month of sobriety!! Still, just take it ODAT. It will be here quicker than you can believe!

Well I did it! The house or should I say, the living room is decorated. I like it!! I found battery operated tea lights so I don't burn my house down and my little lights surrounding the entertainment center are led battery operated as well. I think I might invest in one of those electric fireplace and hearth things or combo with entertainment center. It will give off decent heat and I'll have the illusion of a fire. They're a bit pricey but maybe Ebay will come through for me.

The car is fixed too-some hose was broken and that's why I was getting such a gas fume smell inside the car. Belts are tightened too so I am good to go for the winter.

LBH-hope your vacation is marvelous and that you can check in periodically.

Shout out to Mr. G, Rustop, Rusty, Star, Sped, Cyn, Lav and Dill and of course anyone else lurking out there. Have a great nite-see you all in the morning.
:l

[dill]

December Determination - Week 2

Rebirth, there is a wonderful poem by Rudyard Kipling about growing up and "being a Man". However, it really is about being a grown up Man or Woman. The first part applies to your situation and perhaps you'll find some comfort in this poem:

'if' by rudyard kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Hope this helps!

[paguy]

December Determination - Week 2

Good Evening Friends:

Rebirth - Ditto on the advice already given. This other woman sounds miserable and she is trying to drag you down to her level. IGNORE her and don't get sucked into her games. You deserve better.

Chill - We are all thinking of you and know that you will come through these trying times. You are amazingly strong and will look back on this one day and say WOW - I've been at the bottom and look at me now. Stay focused on the present and don't spend time on regrets about the past and worrying about the future. You are in charge right now.

Dewdrop - The idea of a journal sounds lovely. My handwriting is so bad anymore I resort to keeping all of my notes on the computer. I have found a really cool website LibraryThing | Catalog your books online that's basically an on-line journal that allows you to track the books you've read, what you want to read, and find other books that match your interests. Check it out.

Had a pretty nondescript day today. Arrived in Dallas this afternoon and it was 76 degrees - Yeah!

Lav - thanks for the body lotion recommendation. At home, I use Aveeno which I really like and is helpful. I just didn't have a small enough container to pack for my trip so I'm stuck with the cheapo hotel brands for this week.

Hope you all had a good hump day....

[sooty]

December Determination - Week 2

Morning all. I'm so sorry I didn't get chance to log on yesterday, had to visit family 2 hours away to swop presents, then had to spend time visiting - then girl friends in the evening - didn't get in till after 10p.m. absolutely shattered. I hadn't intended to do it all in one day,it was just when people were available.

Another busy day today and choir party tonight - so hopefully I'll catch you all on Friday. If the promised snow arrives I won't be able to go anywhere!!!!!!!!

Have a good thursday gang
love Sooty

[Stargazerlily]

December Determination - Week 2

Good morning to all on this busy thread,

Chill, thanks so much for checking in, I know the fear and anxiety you are going through, thanks so much for keeping in touch with us. Good to hear you are continuing to look at alternative plans to your current situation. We love you and care about you. Wish you were closer.

Rebirth, isn't is scary how some people can be so vindictive. Stay away from abusive angry people. I too hooked up with disturbed individuals in AA about 25 years ago and it scared me. I understand that I should have waited a bit, and I know that others have had good experiences at AA. I just kept firm boundaries and protected myself from future dramas.

Dill, nice poem. Hope you are doing well. Let us know what is going on in your world, if you get the chance.

I have a Christmas breakfast to go to, a lot of fun and good food. It is just so early!!! No worries about alcohol at this party. AF all the way. Sending everyone wishes for a day filled with light and love, AF.

[dill]

December Determination - Week 2

Papmom, your home sounds charming. I can just imagine all the shining little tealights!

Star, this is such a busy time of year, I have been having a hard time finding time to check in and give this thread the time it deserves. I find I want to comment to everyone, but time is just not on my side right now. We finally got our tree up! Well, to be honest, I can't say "we". I was out last evening with some good friends and when I returned home, a wreath had appeared on my door and there was a beautiful frazier fir with sparkling lights in my living room. It was a Mr. Dill surprise!

Cyn, Chill, Rebirth, Rusty, Rustop, Dew, Mylife, G, Paguy, LBH, Sooty, Lav, SD, Wishing all a warm (in spite of our wintery weather in the northern hemisphere) AF Thursday!

[rustop61]

December Determination - Week 2

Hi everyone

Like you Dill, I am finding it hard to find time to check in and give this thread the time it deserves. Just want you all to know that you are in my thoughts and I am wishing you all the strength you need to get through challenging times and whatever life throws at you.

Have just been out shopping for the stuff for the meals on wheels hampers that we do up at Christmas. So much to be done but such is life!!!

Rustop

[dill]

December Determination - Week 2

Hi Rustop! Good to see you.

Hey Determined Ones, I've started our December Week 3 Thread.