Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Hi everyone,
GoAway, we call that person the "chairperson." We had sign ups for being the chair person for this next year at our Sat. home group. I was glad I was able to write my name down for April, as you need 6 months to chair. That will be my first! Also, if you're not feeling well that particular day at discussion meeting, or not emotionally well, don't force yourself just to say something. There will be plenty of other opportunities to share. I know I've passed when I didn't have much to say on the topic and wanted to learn from others. But sometimes, it's ok to pass. Don't feel bad about that.

Korlan - good summary! I really like to mix up my meeting formats weekly. So much learning taking place and great connections and caring in the rooms.

Dance, sounds like a fun x-mas party! I know what you mean when you say you feel at home. I'm feeling that way too. More and more, I'm getting comfortable in speaking (although I still flush on my neck!) but people are so unconditionally caring. It's so comforting. I'm feeling at 4 months (today is my 4 month anniv!) that these subtle progressions are moving also into my daily living. My non-AA relationships are growing in quality, and I just find myself being there more and more for people.

Last night I went to a speaker meeting, a friend from our home group. She's gone through so much emotionally, mentally in her life having had to undergo electric shock treatment, and has serious mental disorders. She did such a great job of speaking honestly about her life. Such a good experience.

Tonight I went to a discussion meeting where we spoke about our first experiences in the rooms and how we adapted to this plan for living. Lots of great responses to this. My life has gotten so much happier and more peaceful in these last 4 months. We also talked about giving help to newcomers and not to try and overwhelm them when they come in, but to be supportive and listen, or just giving a hug and telling them to come back is important.

Have a great night all.

[GoAwayCabernet]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Congrats J-vo on 4 months!!! Rock on!!!!

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Congratulations on 4 months J-vo!

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Well done on 4months J-vo

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

welcome to all the new one's
Reading back.....I to have to be careful not to isolate myself even, now because i can so easily isolate my feelings and once that happens am in trouble, am learning a lot about myself.....
Keep safe everyone.x

[Korlan]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Don't worry Catch (aka Teardrop) we'll find you! I can't do it either, so I'll keep my eyes open for you!
Great meeting this morning - I love the morning meetings, here they are almost always discussion meetings. One of the subjects today was - how have my dreams changed since I've been in AA - Great food for thought!

Stay Strong!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Hi everyone! It's such a zoom zoom week. I can't wait until things settle down (hopefully after the in-law Christmas gathering this weekend!) and I can get back to a regular routine of reading and posting.

For the last couple of days it has crossed my mind a few times that "isolation" is such a good topic and I didn't write anything about that! Thanks Mary for bringing it up as food for thought this week.

I have been thinking about the "full circle" of my life with AL.

The early years: I was uncomfortable socially. I had an overwhelming desire to "fit in" and be accepted. AL was my "saviour." (little did I know...)

The middle years: I thought I was the life of the party. Over time, more and more, I was just a drunk. I gravitated to other drunks though, so had people to buffer me against the truth. We all BS'd each other. But drinking was still "social" through those years.

The later years: I could no longer function in the same way with AL. I didn't even want to put on pretenses of socializing. I just wanted to drink. The easiest way to do that was by myself. That way I didn't have to worry about my behavior around others, etc. (except of course the craziness with my husband, and the drunk e-mails, phone calls, etc....) I HATED myself. I couldn't stand to be alone with myself sober. I couldn't stand to be alone with myself drunk. I couldn't stand being in my own skin. (and I wanted to kill myself)

Now I am finding myself again. I have addressed much of the "wreckage of my past" though the steps of AA. I say "much" because I'm sure I will find more as the layers of the onion keep coming off. Here is what I am discovering about myself as it pertains to isolation and other people:

1. I don't like being in certain social situations where there is no purpose - where it is just "hanging out." The possible exception is when I am with other people in recovery. I can comfortably "hang out" then. But I suppose it could be argued that even that "hanging out" has a purpose!

2. I am very very comfortable being alone. I enjoy puttering around, reading, visiting MWO, etc. I used to like to blabber away on the phone, but that was AL talking. I really don't like talking on the phone. I like being in isolation, but at least I like myself now when I am there!

3. I love being with other people when we have a common purpose that I feel good about. I love my volunteer work. I love my AA meetings. I'm learning not to try to force myself to "love" stuff that I just don't love. I don't have to love every situation!

The thing I have to be really careful about is allowing a few days of little or no outside contact become a longer term "isolation" scenario. If I stay at home too long, it's easy for me to just keep staying at home. Believe it or not, I often have to push myself out the door. But if it's for something I'm passionate about (AA meetings, volunteer work, some of my business activities, Mary Kay training, etc.) then I am ALWAYS glad I got my butt out the door.

Did you remember your sandwich????

I have not been at AA this week, but heard through the grapevine that a woman returned who I really like, and who has been "in and out" for years. Last time she was "in" (that's when I met her) she made it six months. That's the longest she ever stayed sober. I'm so glad she is back and I can't wait to give her a hug. She is a bar tender which is a difficult situation. I'm wondering if she's thinking about changing that this time around.

Anyway...it's fabulous to know that the doors of AA are always open. I'm still frustrated with the "Club" where I attend meetings, and their recent position on the homeless. I was grateful to hear one long termer say "It's great this club is here for the purpose of hosting AA and Alanon meetings. But if it wasn't here, meetings would still go on somewhere else."

And it's the "somewhere else" that I am excited to explore after the family holiday stuff is over. Along with more advocacy for the homeless. But for the grace of God, there go I.

DG

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Hi everyone!!
I haven't disappeared but my last week and a half have been a whirlwind, and I handled it sober!!
We found a new house we want to buy and listed our current house all in a week, had to get our house staged, ugh! and lots of cleaning, needless to say its been crazy. But I'm so greatful for my tools of AA to deal with it all, I also know that I wouldn't have wanted to make this change out of "fear of change" when I was drinking and stuck!! So we'll see how it goes with selling this one.

Just got caught up with everyone and love all the new people!! WELCOME!
I haven't gone to as many meetings as I normally do but still home group no matter what.
Being the coffee person (importance of service) I can see how important it is to keeping me sober and accountable, besides my sponsor. Anyone new!! Get a sponsor and a service position as soon as you feel alittle bit comfortable, and my sponsor said that "sharing" in meetings IS Service. I always remember that when I don't feel like sharing.

I am so glad life will slow down now that I have the house ready but Oh yeah! the holidays are coming!

But its amazing how much more energy I have now that I am not wandering around aimlessly with a glass of wine in my hand all evening.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Cherbear, you sound fabulous! Isn't it great to sit back and realize that we CAN really HANDLE life - even the stressful parts - SOBER!! I hope everything works out for you with your house sale / new house!

Love your comments about sponsorship and service. I was so fearful of a sponsor telling me what to do. Now I'm grateful to have someone's input. I don't have to figure out everything all by myself anymore. What a relief! I'm with you on service work too!!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

I just want to let everyone know that I get so much from all your sharings. One of my characterisitics that I've been noticing more & more in sobriety is that "hanging out," as DG puts it, isn't for me...especially if there is drinking. It doesn't even have to be heavy drinking. I think that AL dulls a person's senses, so repetition & mindless conversation becomes more bearable. Plus, I tend to be a shy person & don't always feel I have anything to contribute to a conversation. At our neighbor's holiday party last week, I decided to leave after about 1.5 hours (that's about my limit), & I went to a meeting. My husb was content to stay at the party a little longer wo/me.

Since getting sober & dealing w/my daughter's cancer, I'm trying to "do what I want & not do what I don't." That's not so easy for a people-pleaser like myself. I understand that there are certain things I must do to get along in the world. But, there are times that I've twisted myself up like a pretzel trying to be all things to all people. Hey, this is beginning to sound a little like a New Year's resolution!

Anyhow, I hope all is well w/everyone. A special greeting goes out to Chief & Cindi. I hope you're doing OK.

Love, mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Hi all. Went to my first meeting this morning in about a week. My "excuse" is that I've been busy. What's REALLY going on is that I don't like the club's stance on homeless alcoholics, so really want to broaden my horizons with more meetings elsewhere. Absent figuring out a different schedule for all that, I've been skipping meetings. Not a good thing!

What drew me back on track was the girl who "came back in" this week. I went in hopes she would be there, and she was. We had a very good talk after the meeting. She did what we all have done at some point or another (in my case, many times) figured she could "control it this time." Well, she couldn't. It got really bad fast - it only took about 4 months to go from "a few and maybe I can control it" to "I have to have a drink to stop from shaking" in the morning. She realized her mistake but just couldn't stop. I can relate to that feeling - that is exactly how it was for me when I relapsed after 60 days AF.

Anyway, she prayed to God to "give me what I need to help myself." She promptly got a DUI. The entire event was on film where it happened. She narrowly missed causing a 6 car accident. That could have been tragic. As it is, nobody was hurt except her pride and a whole pile of legal and driving problems in front of her. BUT...it was what she needed. Shortly after that, she took her last drink.

She was too afraid to ask anyone to sponser her before. She is still afraid. So I suppose I am resuming the role I played before, which was a bit "sponsor without being sponsor." I'm fine with that. It will help me move past my resentment about the Club Board and the Homeless thing.

This reading brought me to tears today in the meeting - especially the middle section. How many years did I chase happiness to no avail? How long did it take me to start to realize where happiness comes from? Yep - another teary meeting for the record books.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The way of A.A. is the way of faith. We don't get the full benefit of the program until
we surrender our lives to some Power greater than ourselves and trust that Power to
give us the strength we need. There is no better way for us. We can get sober without
it. We can stay sober for some time without it. But if we are going to truly live, we must
take the way of faith in God. That is the path for us. We must follow it. Have I taken
the way of faith?

Meditation For The Day

Life is not a search for happiness. Happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of
a life, of doing the right thing. Do not search for happiness, search for right living and
happiness will be your reward. Life is sometimes a march of duty during dull, dark
days. But happiness will come again, as God's smile of recognition of your
faithfulness. True happiness is always the by-product of a life well lived.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not seek happiness but seek to do right. I pray that I may not seek
pleasure so much as the things that bring true happiness.

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

DG - My new sponsor () said she was "available if I wanted to get started." She also made it clear it was my choice, no pressure and no offense if I didn't, and to call or e-mail her if I did. She's so perceptive. Of course being me, it took me a few days, but I'm so happy I did.

I'm glad that girl was there again, and you were there when she was. I believe there are reasons for everything.

In my past experience of not wanting to be in certain meetings or maybe even this group, I learned a few things. It is good to get out to other meetings, other groups. I'm far less intimidated about walking into any AA meeting. There are positives and negatives everywhere. There are some really great things about my group (like two women's meetings per week). Anything is a learning experience - I may not learn the lesson right now, but I surely will at some point. I am fortunate to live in a large city, with lots of meetings and different groups, and many that are within a more than reasonable driving distance.

One of the women that often chairs the tough girls meeting has been coming to my Saturday group. She's a hoot when you get to hear her as a "regular member" (though she's always full of wisdom, but very serious seeming). A few of the members remember her from being a real role model for them 20+ years ago at a different group.

It's so great - I have my small Monday night meeting, which is very intimate, and my big Saturday meeting, which is good in a different way, and a great place to get to meet and get to know so many others.

That's a wonderful reading for today - and more and more I'm finding it to be true, which is light years away of where I was a year ago. It just keeps on growing.

Hope everyone is well! :h

[Chillgirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Hi guys
I just wanted to stick my head in to say I watched the movie tonight "My Name is Bill" played by James Wood and I loved it! What really struck me was why this works. AA and forums like this prove what Bill W realized way back then, that by talking about our addiction with other addicts we help ourselves and them.

When I 1st went to AA I didn't understand why there were people there who had been sober for 7 years and more, I naively thought that once you had stopped drinking for say a year, that it would no longer be an issue and you would just go back to being a regular person. In the movie tonight Bill W was trying to explain it to his wife and he said, "I will spend the rest of my life NOT drinking". As I approach my 1st year I understand now that indeed that is what I will be doing for the rest of my life. Not reluctantly i must add, im proud to be building on what recovery has taught me about being a fuller human being. I also know I will alway want to have others addicts in my life because it's with them I feel most comfortable and that I will always want to help those just starting out. A huge penny dropped for me tonight.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Dance, it sounds like you found the perfect sponsor!

Chill, I love those moments of epiphany, don't you? I thought the same thing way back when - if AA works so well, why on earth do people have to keep going for 20 years? Now I get it. I too am most comfortable around people just like me. I'm learning to operate much more comfortably, and without a constant "high" out in the world. But my reality check is with other addicts.

Bill W was quite a "big" personality it seems. I was listening to a presenter in a recent class who was talking about those rare people who as individuals, really made an impact on the world. He mentioned a handful of names, but I thought "Bill Wilson." Well, and Dr. Bob. My impression is that Dr. Bob kept the reigns on Bill a bit. I love the history.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 13 - Dec. 19

Chill: I too loved the movie w/James Woods.

Sometimes I hear in meetings that as we go along in program, the 12 steps are more about learning the right way to live rather than staying away from drinking. So far, I've had my desire & obsession w/alcohol removed (no thanks to my own will which kept me drinking far longer than I should have). However, I need the program to remind me & help guide me into doing the next right thing for the next right reason. DG, I liked that second reading you quoted about not seeking happiness...instead seek the next right thing to do. I dont want to forget that I must put my selfish interests aside & see how I can benefit others.

Mary