AF Daily - Friday 12/17

[greeneyes]

Morning Fabbies!!

I just wanted to put this up in case nobody else feels like starting it today. Now you must excuse me while I go look for my mojo. I seem to have misplaced it yesterday evening.

[universal]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Morning greeny and all who join us today. I hope you find your Mojo!

I'm tired today - I haven't been sleeping well lately - night sweats (yuck). I think my body is trying to rid me of the cold virus. Hope it goes away soon.

I had the worst dream - smoking and drinking and then the guilt and feeling like crap etc. I HATE those dreams. It was so real though. Glad that I woke up to realize I'm still AF and NF.

Finishing up some little things today and then off to get a pedicure with a girlfriend. I have a quiet weekend so I'm looking forward to that - some gratitute meetings and cleaning but other than that some nice relaxing Uni time. Well needed.

I hope everyone has a great day - Hugs to those having a rough time (((AFM))) and love and support to all.

Uni

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Good morning everyone,

I have a little dilemma going on which I could use some advice. I have a friend who I've known for years coming around a little too much lately. He calls everynight and pretty much stops at my house everyday. I've already talked to him to make sure he knows that nothing will happen between us and that I only will ever want friendship from him, and he said he understood but I'm not sure he does. I'm not liking the fact that he calls me everyday and if I don't answer he stops at my house. I'm not a huge fan of people popping in, and I don't really like the fact that he does call me everyday or night. I'm going to have to talk to him about that too, aren't I?

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Brigitte Bardot;1024099 wrote: I'm going to have to talk to him about that too, aren't I?

Yep. I hate that, do you? I'm so afraid of hurting feelings by enforcing my boundaries.

[Brigitte Bardot]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

I do hate that, I'm dreading it actually. I know I'll either see him or talk to him today and I'm going to have to do it because it's making me uncomfortable. I find myself even not letting him passed my front door now.

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Yep. I hate that, do you? I'm so afraid of hurting feelings by enforcing my boundaries. >>

I hate it too! And when I screw up my courage and do it, it comes off disproportionately strong because I'm so worked up. BUT...he shouldn't be coming by without confirming with you first. It's disrespectful. Maybe if you frame it that way ("it feels disrespectful"), he'll get the message without being offended.

Good morning, and good luck on the mojo hunt, Green Bean; maybe a pedicure with Uni? Anyway, I'm sure mine's around here somewhere...

xoxox Pride

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

LVT, just read your late post from yesterday. Here's a study on early bar closings I covered recently:
Fights down as pubs shut early - Local News - News - General - Newcastle Herald

Here's that study on CABs (caffeinated AL drinks):
Caffeinated alcoholic beverages: A growing public health problem?

Nothing's more annoying to someone with a political agenda than facts. ; )

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Morning fabbies! My apologies that I have been very scattershot lately with my posts. I feel I have not had adequate time to really address all my wonderful fellow fabbies personally the way I love to do!!! I am still thinking of each of you and hoping you have fabulous moments one day at a time, and/or the strength you need to get through the tougher moments.

I want to go with Uni too for a pedicure. What a fun girl outing that would be with all of us! IJM and G-String and Det + Dx and any other of our male travelers could come too. Pedicures are not just for women! We can pass around some good mojo and have a fabulous afternoon. How about it? Virtual pediure?

Well, I have to run off to a business meeting and then I'm going to tough chicks AA. I didn't go last week as it was snowing pretty hard and it's 1/2 hour away on a good driving day. I'm really looking forward to my fix today! Flat screen TV being delivered this afternoon for the new luxury tree house bedroom.

ONE THING IS FOR SURE!!!!!

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Good Morning All,

Had a little accident on Monday evening. I tripped over a small dog/child gate in the doorway where new construction in house is. I caught my shoe on the gate and went flying into a crate w/ new kitchen cabinets. I hit my ribs and shoulder very hard...thought I cracked my ribs. Went to ER and no fractures, etc just very sore and alot of bruising. The universe is telling me to slow down a bit so that is what I am doing.

I have read through the threads and I'm sorry AFM to hear about your dad and about your drinking. It sounds like you are picking yourself up and moving on. Good for you. You will be so proud of yourself for being fully present for your dad as he transitions to the next realm. I lost my dad 11 years ago and I feel his presence every day. Hugs to you. Stay strong. You can do it.

BB. I sounds like this guy is only going to get the "message" by being honest and very direct with him. This guy obviously does not have any boundaries himself and by not enforcing yours, he will continue to be a pest. Perhaps something like, "I am uncomfortable with you stopping by and calling me every day. I would like to be your friend but daily contact does not work for me. I'd also would like for you to call me first and not just pop over." Sometimes when I have to say something really hard or difficult, I pretend that I am watching myself say it. I don't know if that makes sense but it's kind of a feeling of distancing yourself from the person/situation while your saying the words.

Greenie, where is your mojo?

LVT, I so admire you for fighting the alcohol issue in your town.

Hi Uni, Pride and all to come.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Hi DG. Cross posted. Still slogging through the kitchen renovation.

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Good moning Abbers!

M3, if you need me Nure Lav is just a PM away :H Sorry about your fall, ouch!

Greenie, I hope you find your mojo today. Look everywhere

I have work awaiting - Christmas rush stuff.
Wishing everyone a great AF Friday.

Lav

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Good morning!

Gia, I know how hard it is to want to protect someone's feelings but I would let him know that it bothers you. I can see once in a while or something, but all of the time is really an invasion of privacy. It would make me feel paranoid that someone is 'checking' in on me all of the time. Like 'Big Brother' is watching.

I hope you are OK momof3! Glad there were no fractures.

I REALLY need to get my ass in gear. One week until Christmas. SO NOT READY! UGH!

Little AFM is having a jammy day at school. They are going to be making Gingerbread Houses in the gym this morning. Geesh, I think I would like to enroll into Kindergarten. All of the fun stuff they do.

The usual for me today.

Have a great day everyone!

[GoAwayCabernet]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Hey Everyone!! It's 8am here in the Mountain Central Zone and I am actually getting to post. Of course, I don't have to get hubbie off to work today, or the 3 yr old off to school. This gives me a few extra minutes.
Pride - Thanks for sharing that article about Caffeine / Alcohol. Now I see what gave me that drive to start the second bottle of red.
BB - Does this friend know about your sobriety? Because if he does, you can ABSOLUTELY use that as the buffer between you and his frequent contact. Let him know that you are resdiscovering "you time" and how important it is to your sobriety. You are learning to put up boundaries and him overwhelming you is preventing you from learning how to build these boundaries. Does that make sense? It's that whole cliche, "It's not you, it's me", but it really does apply here. How can you get to know the sober side of BB with him constantly invading your space. And as for the drop ins, put that to a stop IMMEDIATELY!!! True Story: We have church members in our neighborhood that would always stop by unannounced. It got to the point that my husband would turn out all our lights and we would sit in the back family room just to avoid them. Well that is no way to live. I don't know about the rest of you, but I grew up with the understanding that stopping by someone's house announced was very bad manners. So.....I went to the craft store, got some supplies, and made a sign to hang in our porch area. With pretty little hearts along the rim, and nice script writing, it says, "No Unannounced Visits Please". And you know what? It's worked!!! We've had a couple people stop by without calling and then they say, "Oh I'm sorry I didn't see your sign." At which I respond, "Oh that's okay. Everybody needs to visit just once before they see the sign." BB, I know you don't need a sign, but you need to get through to this guy or it only gets worse!!
Chief- Would love to get a check in from you. I noticed we both have the same number of sober days under our belt and that really motivates the competitive side of me. "If he can do it, I can do it." So pop your lil' head in soon.
For those of you that read yesterday's posts, I got a craving yesterday and it was scarey. As I analyzed it, I was too aware of what they say, "The alcoholic has no control over that first drink." All I could obsess about was what if I went to the store and got it? How would I face the people at AA? How would I face the people on MWO? I didn't think a bit about all the positives in my life that occur while sober. Those would not surface. All I could think about was the actual deed and how and what type of damage control would come after the fact. Looking back at yesterday, it amazes me how far below the surface all the positives stayed and how they didn't (and couldn't) factor in to my desire to drink. WOW! Ever so cunning! Ever so baffling!
Okay, I've rambled enough. A Happy Sober Day To All!! I WILL be hitting a meeting today!

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

PJs and pedicures? Works for me. :cheering

M3, I'm glad nothing was broken. I was rushing out the door to work in Jan. and ended up taking the brick stairs horizontally (completely sober--drunk, I was a big, lethargic slug). Surgery, six weeks in a cast, PT, and I still can't close two fingers on my right hand. One of the "I'm living wrong" wake-up calls that led to exercising again--and to quitting, I think.

Greenie, I bet the hospice org. is still interviewing, and getting around to hiring around the holidays is always slow. But call today just to express your interest again if it'll make you feel better. Meanwhile, red toe polish, or will you be going with a French? :l

Okay, off to follow Mario's excellent advice in his "Just for Today" thread. Feeling overtaxed and scattershot (great word, DG! :thanks. Time to re-read "The Tortoise and the Hare."

xoxo Pride

[Pride before Fall]

AF Daily - Friday 12/17

Hi CAB, x-post!

I noticed we both have the same number of sober days under our belt and that really motivates the competitive side of me. "If he can do it, I can do it." >> works for me too, hence I use the drink tracker. : )

Chief, do check in and say hi.

On the craving thing--I found one of the clearest articles I've read to date on the biology of addiction in Law, Medicine, and Ethics (December 2010). Not sure it'll fit in a post but I'll send it to you if you want to PM your email address (and anyone else interested in reading it). A couple of key paragraphs are below. Brains on drugs are sneaky bastids, that's for sure.

xoxo Pride
________________

Alcohol, possibly more than any other substance, causes brain toxicity at a much more gross/non-specific level. Possibly because alcohol disrupts brain cell membranes and growth, and possibly because it causes liver toxicity leading to a buildup of toxic chemicals in the brain as well as a reduction in essential vitamins and minerals, there is measurable brain tissue loss with chronic alcohol use. It has been shown that chronic alcoholics have a loss of grey matter (neuronal cell loss) in many areas of the brain that are associated with abnormalities observed in memory, special function, and judgment.24 What this means clinically is that alcoholics drinking at a certain level may not think clearly, and deficits in the frontal lobe area of the brain might lead to the inability to recognize the effect that drinking is having on their lives (often referred to clinically as “denial”).

Historically and to some extent currently, “denial” is viewed by some as a willful or semiconscious attempt to avoid abstinence, social stigma, and economic and social consequences. However, a more enlightened view might include the actual brain damage caused by alcohol (as detailed above) as being one factor underlying the inability to judge the seriousness of alcohol consequences on one’s life and functioning. Additionally, these individuals may lack the motivation and/ or will to stop drinking. This is why for some severe or susceptible alcohol dependent individuals, the only way the brain can recover enough function to fight the disease is to be free of alcohol for a protracted period of time, sometimes requiring a long hospitalization/ rehab stay. In an eye-opening development, recent evidence also suggests that the adolescent brain, one that is continuously maturing and molding at the cellular level, might be even more sensitive to the toxic effects of alcohol.25 [