Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I hope all is well. There has been a lot of discussion about the hoidays at the meetings I attend: stress over a variety of issues. As far as drinking: so far it hasn't been an issue for me. I haven't felt tempted at all, and I thank HP for that. We haven't been to very many drinking events, & I left last Sunday's party early to make my meeting. 1.5 hours of buffet eating & chatting was more than enough for me.

At last night's BB meeting, the story sparked a lot of gratitude for sobriety. Many people said they'd be dead if it weren't for AA. I think that's true for me, though I think it would have been a long & painful process. I've been reflecting on this very difficult year in our family. My biggest feeling of gratitude goes to the fact that I got through all this sober. I was able to step up to the challenges knowing I was in complete control of myself. I didn't have to worry about drinking getting in the way...no distractions.

We have a quiet holiday weekend planned: Christmas Eve w/good friends & Chistmas Day w/the family. Yes, there will be drinking, but I don't feel the least bit deprived. I'm finished w/all that. It's not something I feel I'm missing out on.

Take care one & all. Feel free to share here if you have time.

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

Hi Everyone.x

Thanks Mary for starting of the thread and sharing.x
I had been out a few weeks ago to my work xmas meal, My High Power must of been looking out for me because when i sat down i notice a lady two seats down, that did a share in my area where i lived and that used to work for the company i work for, she has retired now, but for some reason i felt relax knowning that someone else had the same problem and that goes to AA meetings.

Mary i feel so grateful for AA,You have been through it this year and come out of it strong, i just like to say well done.:l

Christmas morning i will be going to my AA meeting to make the teas and hand out the biscuits if i dont eat them all. Then come home and have xmas dinner in my own house for once, my brother will be with me this year and there will be no alcohol, but i dont mind if my hubby wants a drink, but to tell you the truth he has supported me so much by not drinking AL in the house, and the think is he doesn't mind not drinking.

Love to wish you all a peaceful Christmas and health and happiness for the New Year'2011'
Lets all keep safe L:hve to u ALL.x catch22.x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

catch: My husb doesn't drink here either, & we don't keep open bottles in the fridge. When we are out, he might take one drink, but often he does not. He's one of those people who can take it or leave it. Whatever he does is fine w/me. Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

Hi, all! I also had a BB meeting last night. It was the end of the chapter on "The Family Afterward," page 135 (last page of that chapter). At the end are "three little mottos" -

First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It

These were our discussion topic. The one that stood out for me is the first one. Without sobriety, other areas in our lives is more likely to have problems (or bigger ones). A reminder to me to prioritize meetings and whatever else I need to do to keep it. Sobriety really has to come first.

I heard a great old timer saying. I hope I say this right - I can't recall the exact words, but it goes something like this:

Make a list of all your problems and duties, putting sobriety at the top of the list. Then work on the sobriety part, and watch how the others resolve themselves.

There were a lot of people there. I think it may be this time of year. A lot of newer members I'd never seen before, and a couple with a week or less.

I'm glad I got a sponsor. She gives me some very firm "nudges" if I get too wishy-washy. :H Like getting to a BB meeting every week, which I hadn't been doing (and didn't get around to last week, though I "meant to"). NUDGE. I have to do a minimum of 3 meetings a week, including one BB and one 12 & 12 (which I do every Monday night already). 4 is better, "since you're not working right now." NUDGE.

I got to meet with her this weekend to get to know each other and start Step 1, and we'll meet again this week. It was nice our MWO BB study started when it did - I have to reread it again and answer questions from a workbook she uses. She recommended I track down the "Joe & Charlie" CDs. It's some guys going through the steps, and at some point someone started recording their talks. Is anyone familiar with them? They are available online, but not on the Safari browser. I have Firefox too - I guess I can try that, and if not order the the CDs. I've been busy keeping up my reading and assignments. I could play those when I'm doing something mindless (like cleaning).

DG, we have something in common (kind of). Your sponsor is a nun. Mine is a member of the clergy. :H She's cool though, and very easy to talk to, and at one time was just like the rest of us party girls. :H

Hope everyone has a good week, and if I don't see you again, a very Merry Christmas! We have Birthday Night on Christmas - it's always the last Saturday of the month, plus all the regular meetings. That's very comforting really. Something to add to whatever other celebrations are going on, and one to look forward to. :h

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

dancelot;1026006 wrote: DG, we have something in common (kind of). Your sponsor is a nun. Mine is a member of the clergy. :H She's cool though, and very easy to talk to, and at one time was just like the rest of us party girls. :H

I love the simplicity of all the sayings that I used to think were just plain corny. "First Things First" is a good one for me too. I can never afford to get "too busy" to put my sobriety activities anywhere but first.

I'm zoom zoomin' but loving the catch up here. My Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will each have a meeting in it!

DG

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

Dance,
I'm glad you're sponsor is providing you with great guidance. That's so important. I'm getting to know my temp. sponsor more and she's so wonderful. She is such a gentle soul, and i think she's a better match for me. Where did you get the workbook for BB? And the Joe and Charlie CD's sounds like a good thing to have. Let me know if you track them down. I think it would be a good thing to listen to before I start my step 4.

Have a great x-mas everyone!

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

DG, when i first went round my sponsors place, that was the first thing she did was downloaded Joe and Charlie on my mp3 player for me, i think i mentioned it to rebirth when she was going on holiday. Listening to Joe and Charlie has really help me understand the big book from word to word and also help me going through the steps. Plus they are both really funny guys.:H If ever i go away on holiday i will be listening to Joe and charlie, .

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

My husb & I went to a very sparsely attended round-robin meeting last night. I was expecting to be disappointed, as the usual people weren't there (holidays & all, I guess). So much for expectations! We walked out of there w/tears in our eyes! There was an incredible amount of spirituality in the room. Some of the people who shared were coming from slips, dark places, jail, etc. But, the topic was gratitude, & there was plenty of that. You really never know what to expect when you go to an AA meeting. Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

Hi, everyone!

Catch - Thanks for your input! My sponsor told me the Joe & Charlie tapes really made the steps "come to life for her" for her, and were good for helping to really understand them. I'll see if I can download them.

J-vo - The workbook s something she uses. She e-mailed me the part to work on. Basically what it does is, you read the required chapters, and it asks questions, which you have to answer. It is for getting you to read the BB, and understand it. I did have to search a little. Then we go over it and discuss it. She said there are no wrong answers - it's not a test. Since the basis for the whole program is the BB, all the answers can be found there. I have seen these on the Daily Recovery Readings website's store (at least I assume it's same thing - I haven't seen it in person). Actually, there's a couple of different ones, when I looked again.

In discussing it, I got some things I hadn't quite gotten on my own, or got a more complete understanding.

Mary - I agree - sometimes what I get from a meeting where I don't expect much can be very enlightening. I so often hear "just what I needed to hear," sometimes from a very unexpected source.

There was something about that in the Daily Recovery Readings today -

Who am I to judge anyone? When I first entered the Fellowship I
found that I liked everyone. After all, A.A. was going to help me to a
better way of life without alcohol. The reality was that I couldn't
possibly like everyone, nor they me. As I've grown in the Fellowship,
I've learned to love everyone just from listening to what they had to
say. That person over there, or the one right here, may be the one
God has chosen to give me the message I need for today. I must
always remember to place principles above personalities.

I had never thought of "principles above personalities" as having that meaning. I just thought it meant don't put certain members on a pedestal, or that they are not above everyone else because they've been there longer or whatever.

I better go get some stuff done in the "real world." Good to hear everyone's input - and have a great day!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

Hello everyone! Boy I sure agree that having expectations one way or the other about meetings is just never accurate!

I went to a meeting this morning and the topic was the reading that Dance quoted. "Principles above Personalities" was the main focus of many sharings. This was especially relevant for me as I am still struggling emotionally with the Club (which is completely separate from AA) and the stance on the homeless. My takeaways:

1. I need to always remember why I am there. To stay sober and help others achieve sobriety. First things first.

2. The collective is more important than the individuals.

3. I don't have to like/agree with everyone and they don't have to like/agree with me.

I'm glad I went today.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

DG: The 3 concepts you mentioned are important. This is such a simple program. I've been feeling the power of AA group this holiday season. We've had more than our share of relapses, but people are "coming back," though that cannot be easy. I do see the open-arms welcome which is comforting. People make mistakes. One of my friends in program pointed out the slogan: "There but for the grace of God go I." It's so easy for me to begin to think that I've got the alcohol problem licked. I know I don't, but I keep going to meetings, connecting w/others...especially those that have good sobriety, & trying to be of some kind of help to another alcoholic.
Mary

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

Dance, thanks for that quote. Principles before personalities is something I am not familiar with. And I do get good messages from aquaintences always. I'm going to start bringing my "thoughts" journal and write some good messages down as I hear them.

I looked up Joe and Charlie online and can download the workbook pages. I'm going to start my 4th steps and in addition to my sponsor, I'd like to see about using this as well. I'm glad you mentioned it.

DG, I hope you're coming to more of a peace about the conflict in your group. It sounds as though you are when you think of those principles. Is it that they don't want the homeless to come to group? I'm not sure I understand the dilemma.

Mary, yes, it's all about the connections at the meetings and one alcoholic helping another. I always feel good after leaving a meeting.

My parents are in town since yesterday. I was going to my Thursday night speaker meeting, and my mom asked if she could attend with me just because she was curious about these meetings and she's very supportive in my program. I was glad it was an open speaker meeting so she was able to go. It was a good experience for her and for me, because she knows how much AA has helped me so much.

Have a great night!

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

Hi lovely people,
Have not posted in a while but just wanted to wish this thread a very merry and sober christmas.

Your support has been tremendous. Thank you all.xxxxxx

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

How are your doing rebirth? I hope all is well! Merry Christmas to you too!

j-vo, the place where many of the meetings I attend is at an "Alano Club" where the only reason for it's existance is to host AA and Alanon meetings. The Club itself is of course NOT AA and is a separate business entity. The connections however, are very tight because needless to say the board members responsible for running the club are elected - and virtually all of them are AA or Alanon members. So it is often difficult to separate the two as I see these people in meetings regularly. Nobody on the board would admit this straight up, but IMO they have run off the homeless. They havent' posted a sign on the door that says "no homeless allowed" but they have changed policies and procedures over time that have driven the homeless people away, IMO. It is a very difficult situation because the many of the homeless people in question are still actively drinking/using/struggling, so there are problems with that when they are hanging around the building. (the crazy stuff that happens when people are drunk!) But for those people who are at a bottom where they have no transportation, no roof over their head, no regular meals, etc. - their options for recovery are so very limited. It's just been hard for me to watch even though I can see both sides of the coin.

This scenario has actually helped me solidify in my own mind that I want my volunteer work to be oriented towards helping the homeless. That is a more direct route for me to take - hence my work at the Mission. It has also been a lesson to me about attending a variety of meetings in different locations with different people. As an example, the place where I attend Tough Chicks meeting is a place I only go once a week. I have no idea about the inner workings of that facility and for me, that is a very good thing. I don't need my nose in that sort of stuff. Once again, there is a valuable learning experience with all things in AA for me. It seems I always learn to the good, even when a lesson might be painful. I don't have to drink over things, and I am learning to be thoughtful in my responses rather than over react like a petulent child. And learning to see both sides of a story (more calmly) and develop my own opinion from there. And understand that everyone may not share my opinion and that is OK. In fact, most people do not even need to know my opinion about most things.

Well, that's a mouth full!

I will be going to tough chicks later this morning. We had a group conscience last week about whether to meet Christmas and New Years eve. There will be some people missing and we may not do our usual 12 Step study if the group is small. But I'm glad everyone who can be there wanted to still meet! Tomorrow at 7AM I will go to my regular Saturday Big Book Meeting. Life is good.

DG

[j-vo]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec. 20 - Dec. 26

DG, you are such a gift to so many people. Your mission work is so admirable. Helping others in need is a huge component to this program. You are a role model for working such a wonderful program. And you're growing and learning everyday. lts hard to hold back our opinions because they sometimes do create resentments even when they aren't meant to do so. Thanks for explaining!

Have a Merry Christmas!