December Determination ~ Week 4

[Dewdrop]

December Determination ~ Week 4

My goodness I?ve only been away a few days and there is so much to catch up on, I?ll respond to everyone later but just want to send a big :l to Star and let you know that I am thinking of you.

Well my first AF Christmas and I must say I didn?t miss drinking at all and was able to drive a few with children around safely and was happy to do so. Actually no one in the family over the few days was smashed at all and on Christmas Day about 8pm 6 of us had a big pot of tea and leftover cake round the kitchen table. I went to the midnight church service with my Mum, the carol singers were beautiful and it was lovely walking back to her house in the snow. I was able to engage totally with everyone and didn?t miss anything, the food was delicious and I appreciated the family time together.

My grandchildren had a lovely time and are very fortunate indeed as I kept telling them, I feel it?s important they appreciate all they receive and that it doesn?t become an expectation. I have my 5 year old grandson visiting tomorrow for a couple of days so we are going to be very busy, I told him we would build a snowman but its starting to thaw and it was raining this morning so there might not be any snow left soon. We have tickets for a pantomime though which he will love (and so will I!) and we are going to do some baking.

I?m having a lazy day today pottering about the house and relaxing and it?s lovely to have nothing to do and all day to do it in! The best part though is that I am sober.

Dewdrop :h

[Rusty]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Hi Dewdrop,

The second time this morning that I've cross-posted with someone. Your Christmas sounds heavenly! I loved your description of spending your holiday with your family, unhung, grateful, and remembering every bit of it because you were AF. I used to go to midnight Mass with my family when I was younger but now I get tired way too early.

[dill]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Good morning,
Rusty, you sound so lively and energized so early in the morning! I'm only on my first cup of coffee and will be awhile catching up to your level.

Dewdrop, I enjoyed your Christmas story very muich. Congrats on your AF Christmas. It brought a couple of questions to my mind though. Are there other heavy drinkers in your family or are you the only one? In the past did you usually drink to excess at Christmas or just drink a bit to much? Does your family know you are quitting?

Sped, I hope you do not continue to live in limbo for a great length of time. You deserve to have peace in your life and a solid foundation. Thinking of you and sending you peace and strength.

Star, I am sorry you felt pressured to drink on Christmas and that you are disappointed with yourself for caving. I hope you don't make any major decisions about your family life right now as I think you would be acting out of anger and that is never productive, as you know. I even wonder if the anger is really with yourself and is being projected onto the others? Don't know. Just thinking out loud. If I'm over the line, smack me! You are a treasure to me and I imagine others on this thread. I am sending you peace and strength.

Rustop, I would love to be looking out your window watching rain and seeing green. Thank you for that image. We're still seeing white everywhere we look and it's 18F (-8C). That's what is the worst is the cold. We haven't been above freezing in weeks.

Best AF wishes to all!

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Good morning Dill & everyone!

Very, very windy & cold here after yesterday's snow storm. I don't think the snowfall total was much more than a few inches, hard to tell.

Star - I chose to sit here alone rather than walk over to my BIL's open house just to stay away from the big drinkers. I skipped it last year too. They feel a little insulted about it, I couldn't care less. You have to do what is best for you in terms of maintaining your sobriety. Learning to say NO is difficult but doable. Don't beat yourself up, just learn from this.

I need to get to the bank & post office. Hope the winds don't take me off course.
Have a good day everyone

Lav

[spedteach]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Dew,
I loved your Christmas story too. Scotland is on the top of my places I would love to visit list. You have grandchildren? How many? Is going to a pantomime like going to a play?

Silly Rusty, I cooked for 5 twenty something year olds, not 20!

I'm tired today, post Xmas fatigue. Al that hype and then it's over.

[Rusty]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Shelley:H
Silly Rusty, I cooked for 5 twenty something year olds, not 20!

Blonde moment!

[Dewdrop]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Dill I come from a Scottish fishing community with a lot of alcohol abuse on both sides of my family. I have a couple of uncles who are alcoholics and their father was too, one stopped drinking many years ago but the other continues on and off the sauce and his wife is a very heavy drinker. I think that many in my family (cousins, aunts & uncles) are heavy drinkers who function and manage (some of them) to hold down employment.

Usually Christmas would be an excuse for me to start drinking early and continue, fall asleep on the couch in the afternoon and start again in the evening. My immediate family are not heavy drinkers ie my parents or my sons although both sons were into all kind of things when younger but since they have had their own families they have changed a lot. I did a lot of my drinking alone and had isolated myself a lot so am unsure how much they knew, I?d have a bottle hidden in the kitchen to top myself up if they were around.

Everyone is aware that I stopped drinking as part of a healthy eating/exercise programme which was initially for 30 days and continued for another 30 days and I?ve felt so good on it that I?ve continued with it. I had some orange/mango sparking water that looked like wine in a wine glass and a couple of people thought that I was drinking wine at the table. No one made a fuss and I wasn?t pressured into having anything it just seems to be accepted that I?m not drinking. I?ve actually told a few friends that since I?ve stopped I really don?t like the taste of alcohol now and it?s too much hassle to try and acquire a taste for it.

Sped I have three - a grandson who is 5 and his sister who is 18 months, then another granddaughter to my younger son who is 2 next week. Yes a pantomime is a bit like a play but for children with a lot of audience interaction and we have them at this time of year.

Dewdrop :h

[papmom3]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Good Almost Afternoon Determinators!!

(((Star))). I know you will figure this out and do what is absolutely the best for you. I'm sorry it's painful right now but I guess we have to endure the pain in order to find the peace.

Rusty-so glad you're back!! I bet Mr. G is too (secretly of course!!). Oh bad Papmom for teasing!! :H

Sped-safe travels back to IN. Your lagsagna recipe sounded awesome! I'd love to see it in the Recipe corner too!!

Dew-loved your summary of Christmas!! I would so enjoy being able to walk to town and church-your description reminded me of the Miss Read books. I think I've read them all-probably time to reread them!!

Rustop-happy to hear the rain has finally come for you! Now maybe things can get back to normal over there?

Dill-my wish for you in 2011 is for the temps to get over 20 degrees!!

So our blizzard is still kind of raging-the winds are still very strong and the snow is still falling. The good news is that the accumulations were not nearly what they said it would be, at least here in Central MA. Yes Rusty, the southshore got walloped with snow and very high tides which caused flooding and a very nasty house fire in one town that took 2 houses side by side. the people (and one dog) had to be rescued by boat and their houses are totally gone. Looks like they were able to save the rest of the houses on the street. Very sad. I'm pretty much shoveled out but staying in until tomorrow morning. No need to go out at all. The pups do not like the wind and I'm not sure they are staying out long enough to do their business!! I'll have to keep an eagle eye out for any pacing or else!! :yukko:

The rest of my day will be devoted to getting some work work done so I'm not too far behind when Monday comes next week. Sigh. Some vacation!! :upset:

Have a great day all and be safe out there!!

:l

[Chillgirl]

December Determination ~ Week 4

We are a busy bunch of determinators today!

I think Jubilant January is winning

Sped - You sound in good spirits and Im laughing my head off at Rusty visualizing you cooking for 20 young men :H

Dewdrop - your story is a lot like mine and I too started by telling people I was having a month off for a healthy detox which I then continued, now quite frankly I dont care what anyone thinks about me not drinking and Im proud not to where as before I was mortifiedly embarassed by it!

Papmom - Im glad you are safe a cosy, I heard on the news NY has serious snow!

Star - :l Im so sorry you didnt hold out on Christmas day, it sounds like there's other issues that are making you down and as usual we reach for a temporary escape from our troubles which never works. Im interested to know your thought process before you cave in, I hope you dont mind me asking but I think it helps identify what needs to change here. Do you get to the stage of just thinking "f**k it!" i'll have a drink? As Lav says it is difficult to say no but it is doable. I remember a good tip I used in the beginning was to press fast forward in my mind to how I would be in a few hours time and then how I would feel the next day. We all know that we are going to regret it, feel angry with ourselves, guilty or even ashamed and if we can think about this before we pick up, hopefully it could stop us.

I did a 3 hour yoga workshop this morning and suspect I may be unable to move tomorrow as I really pushed myself. I felt a million dollars afterwards though and practising yoga always triggers in me a desire to treat my body more purely which is just what I needed. A few more days to finish up the cookies and treats in the house and then my body will become my temple

McLibra is taking me into town for dinner tonight so we can see the Christmas lights which will make a real change. (I live in the countryside outside a village and rarely venture much further!) What is hugely apparent to me is that being sober changes EVERYTHING about relationships. McLibra would never have remotely interested the old me as I would have found him too boring. He hardly ever drinks and always behaves mature and sensibly. Having been a party girl all my life I find this totally alien as I was always attracted to the rebel types. Obviously the last thing I would want is to be with a big drinker now but im finding it difficult to make the switch in my head to be interested in a totally different type of guy......
Sobriety is a never ending journey of discovery!

[papmom3]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Chill-I totally understand where you are coming from!! All my relationships up until 20 years ago when I stopped having them were totally inappropriate for me but of course I didn't think or admit that at the time: drug user/no ambition; person of a different race/color; a number of way too young for me (the last one nailed the coffin on my love life) and all except one were heavy drinkers as well. I feel I'm too old now to fall in love and I wouldn't know what to do or how to react if I were confronted with a mature, sensible man who didn't have his own agenda. I am obviously not the voice of experience here but my gut tells me that you enjoy McLibra's company and how he respects and cares for you. I don't think you have to rush anything. Go with the flow and enjoy the time you do spend together. If it results in something more serious then you know it will be a mutual thing. If not, hopefully you will have made a lifelong friend. However the As the Chill Chooses story ends up, we are thrilled to be privy to the first draft!!

I think the whole Northeast had some serious snow but nothing we staunch New Englanders can't handle. Not sure about them New Yorkers tho!! Still want to house swap with Sped!!

[paguy]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Good Day Fellow Determinators:

I am just having one of those misearable days so I need to vent for a moment...... Woke up in a fowl mood - the poor little doggie barfed all over the bedroom floor through the night. The guy who does our plowing and snowblowing did a half-ass job so I had to call him back. I went out to get a haircut and the shop was closed. I have been trying to do laundry and the washer is on the blink - it fills up with water - turns itself off and then I have to manually drain the wash basin at which point it floods the laundry room floor. GROWL!

I'll be back later....

Rusty - I thought you were a redhead? How can yoy have a blonde moment??

[papmom3]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Poor PAGuy!! The day is almost over and tomorrow the sun will be shining and all the bad vibes will be gone. Hope little doggie is feeling better. I do know all about getting sick through the nite-just be glad he didn't do it on the bed (my pup's fav spot!!) and hopefully you didn't step in it when you got up!! Hang in there, call the repair guy and make yourself a nice cup of tea. That's what I'm going to do right now!!

[Lavande]

December Determination ~ Week 4

John - I think anyone can have a blonde moment :H:H
Sorry about your shitty day, they happen to all of us - that's for sure

I spent some time with a shovel trying to clear the end of my driveway this afternoon. Why do the road plows make such a mess? I finished most of it before I quit....it's just too cold & windy for me out there. Besides, I didn't want to risk dropping dead out there & no one finding my frozen corpse for 24 hours :H We didn't actually get that much snow, the wind & the drifting is the big problem.

Time to throw more wood on the fire - BRRR!

[Chillgirl]

December Determination ~ Week 4

Good morning guys
Well I'm not as sore as anticipated after my workshop yesterday and I have another 3 hours of yoga this morning. Then I'm going to a birthday party for a French friend of mine and I know the food is going to be devine!

Papmom you do make me laugh :H delighted to share my draft with you guys!

papmom3;1029232 wrote: However the As the Chill Chooses story ends up, we are thrilled to be privy to the first draft!!

Paguy - I'm sorry but your rant made me laugh too :H you sounded in a real strop (don't know if strop is just a British word, but I'm sure you'll understand)

Have a great day everyone.......

[Guitarista]

December Determination ~ Week 4

G'day folk's,

Hope everyone's having a relaxing week. Take it easy, and enjoy.

G-bloke.