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**Mackeral** · November 16, 2006, 08:04 AM

Thursday November 16th

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**Lucy Van Pelt** · November 16, 2006, 09:17 AM

Thursday November 16th

Good morning-

Well I am starting day 2!!! At 9:00 in the morning that doesn't seeming daunting but of course I know the dreading evening is still ahead. Yesterday was really ok (thanks AGAIN Brigid...you are wonderful!), and I realize I need to find something to keep me occupied (especially my MIND) between the hours of 4 and 7. This is a little tricky, because I can't see myself doing anything out of the house, as I fear I would wind up in a store that sells alcohol...as that has been my pattern...sneak out and buy some. I used to do puzzles when I was trying to keep sober in the past...I don't know...Thing is...when my head is in the RIGHT place...doesn't seem to matter what I do...but if my head goes to that other dreaded place....I am a goner, and it doesn't matter what I do either. So...it is about keeping my head here...Coming here helps, although Brigid suggested I don't get on chat at that time. And right now, I will follow her lead like a sheep in a herd. I think coming right here to this board will help though..even if it is re-reading my own post from the morning. Also, I have to remember something important that Brigid said to me last night: That at some point down the line, this WILL be sooo worthwile. That I will be thankful I am doing this. I won't always have this much difficulty...I will be glad....even at 5pm. Well some of that is me paraphrasing. Anyway, I don't think I have ever talked this much and used the word "I" so many times in one paragraph. It feels so selfish to me. But, I did it anyway. Thanks for listening guys.

Beth

**mikeupnorth** · November 16, 2006, 09:45 AM

Thursday November 16th

Hi everyone --

Beth, I just saw Helen's post from yesterday about eating a meal at 4:30. I agree completely.... for me, I am MUCH less likely to feel like drinking on a full stomach. Even if you aren't particularly hungry, go ahead and eat something -- and drink a big glass of water too, or maybe milk, if you like it. We are used to interpreting our body's hunger and thirst as requests for alcohol, when really it is requests for calories or hydration. With alcohol you get empty calories, and dehydration. And maybe going for a walk (one that doesn't take you near a liquor store) would be a pleasant diversion too.... Congratulations on getting through Day 1, and now you know you can get through Day 2!

Macks I am happy to hear you are going to have a less stressful holiday season. It is wonderful to have family support like that.

We have just come through our first cold spell of the winter here.... it has been around -20 all week, which has been a bit of a shock to the system after being in Hawaii lasts week

but I have reminded myself that at least it isn't -50. And guess what else: I haven't had to stumble to the liquor store even once!

Mike

**lucky 2.0** · November 16, 2006, 10:43 AM

Thursday November 16th

Kudos to Bak!!!! I am proud of you Bak!!!

I did not drink yesterday. I will not drink today.

All the best to the group-
Lucky

**rivergirl** · November 16, 2006, 11:38 AM

Thursday November 16th

I'm on Day 4 of Abs

Hi All I am on Day 4 of Abs. I workout of town and fly home each Friday, They serve free local wines on the airplane and it is very hard to resist - I have been listening to the tapes and bought a portable CD player to play the subliminal learning tape on the plane this Friday. Then Friday night is hard because I say - Oh gosh, I worked so hard all week I MUST relax (translate- drink).

Thanks for being here!

**YoungAtHeart** · November 16, 2006, 11:47 AM

Thursday November 16th

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I have been so out of touch lately. I've been having to go to work earlier (not a bad thing) and haven't had time for thoughtful posts. Likewise, Maddy's Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde routine has been wearing, as well, although last night, she wanted to talk my ear off about everything in her life. Yike! I can't keep up with that girl's moods!:eeks: Thanks for your concern, Macks. I'm okay. Although you all have mostly seen my softer, more thoughtful side, my daughter is an awful lot like me when I was a teenager. Paybacks are hell!:sigh:

Macks, I'm so happy for you! It's great that you have a well-off and generous BIL!! And now a car too! Things are looking up! I knew that something good would turn up for you! I'm also glad that Lisa and the whole family has been supportive. My baby bro deserves the best!

Congrats on getting started on Day 2, Beth. Lots of people do different things to get through those "arsenic hours" when they want to drink, whether it is exercise, a new project, etc. I know that sitting at the computer was hard for me at first, but after a few days, it became easier--also regarding being selfish, you KNOW that this is the healthiest kind of selfishness that there is. Your being selfish in this manner now will have payoffs down the road, not only for you, but for all of your family as well. So PLEASE, BE SELFISH! It will be well worth it for everyone involved. (It's really hard for me to imagine you being selfish, incidently:heart: .) Oh yes, and do eat good meals in the late afternoon, early evening. It makes a world of difference!

Hi Mike!! You're getting to be an old hand, my dear! Just about 2 months, eh? If not already?

And LuckyDuck, great job!:good: I'm so thrilled for you!

Well done to you, too, Rivergirl!

Well, today should be a more peaceful day. My sister is off for a job interview, yay! I have time to do some paperwork, and plenty of it to do, too! The weather is wild and windy, and the weather service just issued a tornado watch. I'm glad I get to work at home until late this afternoon.

I've run out of emoticons for this session, so.....

Hugs to all! (((((Hug)))))
Kathy

**dilayne** · November 16, 2006, 11:51 AM

Thursday November 16th

Hi Rivergirl..sounds like a great plan!

Hi everybody..just flying by here...feeling a bit melancholy. Just going through some 'letting go'..mainly things that I've attached my self worth to..including my art. I felt myself grieving the artist I thought I would be..she's dying..it's a good thing, because it must die if I am to ever really express myself with my art. Anyway, long story short...I'm letting go of that person, and it hurts..the good news is that I know it's good and I'll be happier and freer when I can let her go...it did cross my mind this morning that a nice brain bath in some wine might feel pretty good, but I'm not going there...the trigger is there, but I'm choosing to walk through the pain to get to a much better other side. Thanks for being here..it does so much to just be able to put these feelings out there, even if they don't make a bit of sense! di

**bounce** · November 16, 2006, 01:10 PM

Thursday November 16th

Jumping back in to ABS with both feet day one again for me
Regards Phil

**Hawk** · November 16, 2006, 01:23 PM

Thursday November 16th

Hi everyone -

What a crappy day yesterday turned into. I did get some studying in for my licensing exam (not enough, but some). Went for my mammogram which took 3 hours because they kept ultrasounding under my arm on some *lump* thats there. Its been there for 2 years and I have seen numerous doctors about it. This is the first one who was alarmed, said the word tumor, and said it, whatever it is, needs to come out asap. So naturally, I came home and drank wine while I made dinner. Then I had wine with husband at dinner. Then I drank what we didn't finish at dinner. Crap

So I woke up today, feel like crap, full of remorse, know he's probably disappointed in me - again. I don't know if we had a conversation last night about me drinking too much or it that was a dream. Frustration!! I'm having a difficult time figuring out where I belong, how to get this problem under control....I'm just lost:upset:

Now I am going to try and study but its hard to concentrate. Sorry for all my complaining - I just needed to unload.

**Waves 2** · November 16, 2006, 01:24 PM

Thursday November 16th

bounce wrote: Jumping back in to ABS with both feet day one again for me
Regards Phil

or 83
if you think like me:l

**Newyear** · November 16, 2006, 01:30 PM

Thursday November 16th

Hi Everyone-

I've had some company the last couple of days so I haven't been here too much. Beth and Phil and Lucky-
This is the toughest part. It does get easier. Can't add to much to all the good advice here. Helps just to come here and vent though. I'm pulling for everyone (which includes me too).
Thanks Macks - Grandma had a great birthday. I'll try to upload a pic of the family celebration when I get home later today. So happy to hear you caught a break! Good things DO happen! You are going to have a great Christmas this year.

Kathy- wow, I don't have kids but you are bringing back memories of being a teenager! Hormones are just great aren't they? Just think of her as going thru menopause without the hot flashes! It's so hard bing that age....does not excuse anything mind you..... Come to think of it...when is the easy age? Glad she is feeling a bit better.

Beth - one other thing about the selfish thing...I have decided to be as selfish as possible right now. In fact one of my new mantras is that "it's all about me!" and "this is my year' and again...'it's just all about ME"

This is the time to be as selfish as possible. Think about yourself, take care of yourself (mental, emotional and physical) and be good to yourself. If not now, when?
Di- I know what you mean by letting go of the 'old you'. It can be sad. Like breaking up with someone - well, actually more like getting out of an abusive relationship. Very hard to do but you know you have to.
Still hard to let it go. But as soon as you do you find out how strong you actually can be.

BTW..where is janet? Janet? are you still with me on day 19?
Today is AF 19 for me. I think I will actually get to the 30 days this time!!
ok...I should probably get back to work!
:l Lisa

**Newyear** · November 16, 2006, 01:46 PM

Thursday November 16th

Rivergirl...congrats on day 4!! great job!

Hawk- sorry you had a hard night. I think I would have a much harder time if I were around someone else who was drinking. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just start again. You can do it.

Mike - I don't think I said hello - so, hello. I was just thinking this morning about the money I should be saving on wine. I figured it should be about 250.00 a month....have you noticed having extra money now that you are not walking to the liquor store??

ok...really going to go to work now-
Lisa

**Guest** · November 16, 2006, 04:24 PM

Thursday November 16th

Beth,
There are some good suggestions about how to manage the time from 4 - 7 here... drink milk, eat.. exercise.. clean your house.. (clean mine if it helps!!!) paint your toenails, sort a photo album, meditate, ring a friend you KNOW will be sober... maybe someone who knows what you are doing. Make a time to come to the board at 7 (or when your husband gets home, when danger is over) and post your success as a motivating factor for you.

You DID get through yesterday.. you CAN get through today. Be selfish, like people are saying.. its ALL about YOU, and thats OK. Choose life.

Brigid

**Lizzie Mouse** · November 16, 2006, 05:01 PM

Thursday November 16th

Hi Guys... looks like the world keeps turning... ( Kiss Kiss )

Well now about 14/ 16 weeks... to be honest I have stopped counting... I think this was the downfall, putting yourself up for it, and counting week by week as if waiting for summat to happen.
This is why I have not been here for a while.; I have spoken to the Lou, and I know that she is in
' Goodness knows where !!! ' (Egypt) but I know that she will be getting rid of those RATS. !!! But anyway, I have needed to prove to myself that I CAN do this alone but I am not counting the days OR weeks.
I just want it to blur into insignifigence, because that it what it was. As long as it turns out OK - which it seems to be doing , not only me, but friends from here. XXX

Wayne - Have a super crimbo , ...chicken, :h and Lisa, who is always uplifting, and to everyone here, who spillz their beans on private sancturies on their innermost secrests - it helps everyone SO MUCH to hear that you are not the only bobbing penguin, who has lost his way !

XXX Yum Yum, and Kisses to everyone here.

Well, that's my 3 weeks speaking quota fulfilled !!! Hee Hee
:H

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