Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Congratulations on your chip Marriedgirl - never even heard of a white chip. I have a lot to learn about this whole business!

Well I read the whole Living Sober book that they gave me last night - about 70 pages - and it was fascinating. It identified a lot of the wrong ways I have been thinking about my approach to this illness. For example, it had a section on the 'If's. I always said, yeah I'll stay sober but IF something happens to my parents, then I am going to drink.

Guess what Kim - alcoholism doesn't stop IF something happens, in the same way that diabetes doesn't just take a break if something happens. I never thought about it like that! But the book made a lot of sense and I am starting to see all the ways my ideas have been wrong. These people really DO understand the way alkies automatically think and AA's rationale does make more and more sense having read that book.

Anyway very nervous about going to a meeting on my own today but I actually didn't sleep too badly last night - fell asleep at 6am, which believe it or not, is an improvement. Because of my impending break-up I have hardly slept over the past week - plus I have so much to think about buzzing around my head. But I don't feel half as strung out today as I have the past few days, so that's something.

Anyway, I'll post back and let you know how it all went. I am getting butterflies just thinking about it!
K x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Kim: You can do it! Also, relationships have a way of working out the way they're supposed to. Concentrate on not drinking & going to meetings. Pretty simple but not easy.

MarriedGirl: I can't count the number of meetings I've gone to where relapsers come back & are welcomed warmly. We've all been there...perhaps even your sponsor. When relapsers speak, the message I hear about relapsing is that it happens when people stop going to meetings regularly. It's not easy to get out to a meeting on a cold winter's night. Last night, I really would have preferred watching the evening news, but I made myself go. I had called some of my friends earlier in the day to say I'd meet them there. That kind of forced me to go. It turned out to be a great meeting on Step 5. I'm so glad I went.

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

dancelot;1035587 wrote: Catch, have some tea or broth or something, anything but a drink (stinkin' thinkin'!). I see you're coming up on one year. I have heard of people getting these thoughts at certain points (30 days, 3 months, 6 months, etc), or worse, acting on them. I don't know the reason or reasons why.

Get to a meeting, call your sponsor, get past it, just for today. I used to use a cold as an excuse to drink too (like it would actually help me get better ), or early in the day, which I didn't do at the time (talking about years ago).

If you like spicy stuff, something that is good for a cold and makes me feel better is chicken soup (the brothy kind) and add lots of garlic and cayenne pepper. It warms you up, opens your sinuses, and both garlic and cayenne are good for you (chicken soup supposedly has healing properties too).

I hope you are feeling better soon. :l

Thanks Dancelot , just to let you all know am feeling a lot better in myself didn't pick up and did go to a meeting last night. Yes coming up to a year and am feeling scared if that makes sense to anyone. Have to go. xxx

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Thanks Mary- you are right I myself have heard a lot of people say they relapsed due to missing meetings but I didn't take heed.

Started off a little harder today...woke up not feeling as strong and my best friend was calling wanting to get together tonight which I am NOT up for since we always drink and use together when we hang out. I am a people pleaser so I hate to say anything anyone doesn't want to hear but I just lied and said my husband may be wanting to go to dinner after work.

I am going to a meeting tonight and talking to my old sponsor this afternoon. So that's my plan for today and I am going to try to fit a gym visit in that always really helps me with the depression side of getting sober.

Hope everyone is having a good Friday!

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Hi all,

Well another day, another 2 meetings - yes you read that right TWO. What am I sick or something?! Well I went to a meeting at 6pm feeling nervous as hell as it was going to be my first meeting on my own with no hand-holding. When I got there who was standing on the gate but someone I know from a relapse prevention group I used to go to! And then another person from the same group inside! It was quite nice actually, as they didn't really hold my hand at all, but it was very welcome to see a friendly face or two even if I don't know them that well.

So, I kind of felt I'd cheated, so I noticed there was another meeting at 9pm fairly close to me as well, and as I was feeling in a fairly good mood I thought why not build on that and try another. So, yes it was nerve-wracking, and no, I didn't know anyone there and so I achieved my first meeting in a room full of total strangers with no-one holding my hand. I did use my tactic of sidling up to the tea lady, only by this point I was walking like a normal human being rather than sidling. She was actually round about my age and seemed really nice. She took my number and invited me to their Sunday meeting and she said if I couldn't make that then maybe she could call me at the weekend for a coffee or something. How sweet.

Do you think I'm getting addicted to AA? Haha - no really, what I'm trying to do is explore as many of the meetings in my area as I can fairly early on so that I know I always have somewhere to go where I feel at least fairly comfortable - eg know where the loos are, recognise a few faces, know the quality of the biscuits etc.

It's great to know that I have somewhere I can go on a Friday night if I'm feeling a bit lonely anyway. I've had a look at tomorrow's schedule and there's actually a 10pm meeting on Saturday night at what will probably be my home group as well, so that's a comfort too.

Ah onwards and upwards and nearly a week sober. Three more until another chip right?
Hope everyone else is having a nice Friday night (although it probably isn't that time where all you are!)
K x

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Wow, Kim that is so great that you went by yourself, I need to see where you go to meetings they make biscuits? And tea-Neat. They only do coffee here, decaf and regular. Although occasionally someone will bring cookies to the smaller meetings. It's true that you can really have a pretty full schedule with AA if you want to.

I did talk to my old sponsor today, it took A LOT of courage to call her but she agreed to re-sponsor me YAY! I am happy, we really have a good connection it's kind of hard to imagine starting over with someone else.

She and I agreed that recovery is a process and even just the fact that I was only out for a couple of months compared to my normal 8 months to more than a year between attempts at sobriety and that I was sober the longest ever last time are good indicators of progress so not to guilt myself about it, just to keep doing the next right thing today.

Good night to all! First sober Friday night for me in a while, that's for sure! :H

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Hey Married that's great about your sponsor and your sober Friday night! Well done for making that call.

As a nation of tea-drinkers over here in merry old england, it wouldn't be right not to have tea! Coffee as well about half the time by the looks of it. By the way biscuits = cookies over here, and yes they are at EVERY meeting - something about the whole importance of sugar for beating cravings. I MUST stop with the biscuits though - otherwise it'll be fatty fatty Kimbo!

Happy weekend everyone,
K x

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Greetings all. For me now, an addiction to AA is a good thing. I went to the 630am then a BB study at 9am. Great way to start a Saturday. I have grandkids tonight, yippee!!!!

[Chillgirl]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Kim I'm loving reading about your new journey with AA, i got my one year token this week. It's a far cry from getting my white one which I stupidly felt embarrassed about and quickly hid it somewhere no one would find it. Still some crazy AL thinking must have been going on there! This time I held my coin very proudly all the way home and sat it on my coffee table so I could see it. I never even hid it when I had a couple of visitors, they never commented or picked it up and that's ok although I would have been happy to explain it, in my own mind there has been a huge shift and I'm proud to have that precious coin.

[j-vo]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Evening AAer's,
Again, welcome Sona, Married, Kim, Sunflower to our AA thread. It's great to share this experience. The more I go to the meetings, the more I get out of it. I'm really getting more comfortable sharing my thoughts on the topics. I feel as though I've finally found the thing that has been missing my whole life. The missing link. It feels so right being at these meetings, and having so many people understand who I am, understand my struggles, and are there to help me through the hard times.

Went to my meeting this morning, and a guy stood up and told everyone that he just picked up a 24 hour chip last week. He appararently had several years under his belt. But he didn't drink. He picked up the chip, because he said behaviorally, he has been acting alcoholic, exhibiting too many "isms."
So he picked up a chip to symbolize to himself that he needs to work on these "isms." We talked about our behaviors and when these alcoholic behaviors and thoughts creep up, how do we handle it. It was a great meeting. I really believe we have so much in common as far as our thoughts and behaviors. We also have access to the tools of the program which have been proven over and over again to me through the people I have met, the big book, and my success thus far. I only have 4 1/2 months, but the not drinking has not been a struggle for me. I guess it's the obsession God has removed. And dealing with life is easier because I have a clear enough head to make the better choices, I have increased tolerance for people, I feel less judgmental. But there are plenty of things to work on. Plenty! And I will continue to work on myself and my program ODAT.

Kim, glad you got to two meetings on your own! Awesome. Keep goin' back.
Married, glad to hear about your sponsor, responsoring. Another thing I notice in the program and fellowship, is that people don't hold grudges or are not judgmental. They want you back, as long as you desire to quit drinking.
Chill, congrats on your 1 year chip!!!!!! Such a great accomplishment.

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Hi all,

Congratulations Chill on your one year chip! How great is that.

j-vo;1038141 wrote: The more I go to the meetings, the more I get out of it. I'm really getting more comfortable sharing my thoughts on the topics. I feel as though I've finally found the thing that has been missing my whole life. The missing link. It feels so right being at these meetings, and having so many people understand who I am, understand my struggles, and are there to help me through the hard times.

J-vo I am so glad you wrote this - this is what I have suspected during my very short time at AA. It is the feeling I have been getting. It feels right to me too.

Yesterday I went to 2 meetings and already I am starting to recognise people from around the rooms. I went to a late night one and it was lovely, in the crypt of a church with candles - it felt like a little sanctum or haven in the middle of London while everyone else was out at the bars on the same street.

I ended up seeing someone I had been very briefly introduced to at another meeting - and she invited me out with a group of them afterwards. I thought why not - I need to build links with good people. So seven of us ended up going out for Turkish tea so now I know six more people I can say hello to at meetings And I think a couple of us may be meeting up today for a meeting.

Yes this does feel right - still feels a bit weird, but right.
K x

[j-vo]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Good for you Kimberly! Yes, that fellowship is just awesome. We went to Eat-n-Park following our meeting yesterday. Just 5 of us girls. We talked, giggled, and had a great time. The connections are so valuable to me. Have a great day and great meetings today!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Everyone: What a wonderful, encouraging thread this week w/newcomers starting w/meetings. Kim, if AA is an addicition, then it's a good one. Plenty of people go to 2 meetings in a day. Nothing unusual there. After almost 2 years of meetings, I've been trying to form deeper relationships w/some of the folks that I really like & admire. I've been calling & meeting up w/people, & it's been very gratifying. I guess I'm making a New Year'r resolution to become a more committed AA member. In the beginning, going to meetings was difficult, but the challenge of just attending is not there. Now, I'm feeling like a good goal for me is to develop more personal relationships w/some of the members, especially the women my own age (or close to it). This week, I'm going to try & have someone over for coffee before a meeting...then we'll go to the meeting together. I find that as I break out of my isolation, I'm becoming a happier & more well-rounded person.

Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

Mary and J-vo, that's great - I now understand why its called a 'fellowship'. Yeah I met up with someone today for the meeting and then we went for a couple of coffees afterwards. It's funny, she's older than me with grown-up kids and everything, clearly a totally different background and quite different people. But none of that seems to matter as we have this common bond. I would like to make friends with some people more my own age, but it's ace that I can be friends with just about anyone at AA really. My original hand-holder called me today and said it's been nice having me around and she'd really like it if we could try to make sure we attend at least one meeting a week together, which I thought was lovely.

I also saw one of the girls who gave me her number at the first meeting and she was really upset, crying and everything, saying she was having a bad day. So when I got home I texted her and said that although I'm new the phone thing works both ways and she can call me if she ever needs to chat. She texted back seeming really pleased - probably just to think that someone was thinking about her, as thats how I feel when I get texted just to see how I am - so even at this early stage I feel like I can give back too, which is great.

See you on the next weekly thread!
K x

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA thread Jan. 3-9

What a great week of posts. It is all so encouraging. Keep up the good work.