Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Just mwanted to say HI to u all,
Am of to a group meeting soon, but cant help myself
DG it funny on my 1year i was round my sponors house drinking tea and having a chat, and she give me something little of hers and it was the 24- hours a day book, i was over the moon. It a good book to read and also it little it goes in my hand bag.
my dark place yes my spirit inside die but also i felt i could not feel anything anymore and i was numb all over, all i wanted to do was to die to be honest with you all the goodness out the alcohol had gone and it was making me feel bad in the head, some how deep down i knew that my end had come i cant go on the way am going on( it was just makeing me sick) it was not fair on my family, to see them the way i was going, i would just go mad and lose my temper. Today it not like that i feel quite normal again and i feel my feelings my spirit been lifted and when am hurting am dealing with them on life terms.:l
Have a lovely dayy ALL.x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

I was definitely a candidate for spiritual & emotional sickness & death. Hiding, betraying, lieing, etc. are not good for spiritual health. Now that I'm living as rigorously honestly as I possibly can, I feel as if the doors to a very dark place have been flung open & sunshine is streaming in. Mary

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Good Morning, All.

I can really relate to the emotional and spiritual death. I did not realize at the time how much all of the hiding, lying and sneaking were killing me on the inside until I got some distance from it.

I hadn't yet began to suffer many outside consequences, but inside I was wasting away very rapidly.

So very grateful to AA and to all here!!!!

Life on life's terms is tough at times, but nothing compared to what I was living before.

Have a super day!!!!!!!!!

HG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

HG: Someone at a meeting last Sun. mentioned the insanity of disposing of our empty bottles. I would wrap them up, put them in my car, & try to find an out-of-the-way dumpster to put them in. If that's not insanity, I don't know what is. Anyone remember anything like that? Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Also the pilgrimage to different liquor stores so the same clerks wouldn't recognize me. M

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Mary

Yes, I am guilty on doing all of the above.

Liquor store shopping and bottle disposal took on lives all their own.

I had to make sure I shopped on a rotation so they would not mistake me for an alkie. I think the sheepish look and the big bottle of cheap vodka probably told them all they needed to know if they really cared, which I really doubt now that they did.

These are good reminders of the insanity. When I first got to AA, I thought that the insanity stuff and an unmanagable life did not apply to me. :blush: Once the fog of denial lifted, WOW!!!!!

Thanks Again

HG

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Hello everyone,

School has been keeping me too busy but looks like everyone is having a good week. I wonder what it says when you don't bother to go to different liquor stores? I really stopped caring, I just went to get what I needed, and said hello to the folks I knew working there. I'm sure they must have talked about me haha! I can only imagine!

Off to a women's meeting. I haven't been to this particular time of this one before so I'll be interested to see who shows up.

Listening to a really good book on tape if anyone likes suspense/thriller stuff- The Postcard Killers, by James Patterson, I think. I have a long drive to school and back, almost an hour, so they keep me busy. I would love to get some AA stuff to listen to in the car!

Three weeks sober today! :nutso:

MG

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

:goodjob:

On the three weeks. Hang in there!!!!!!!

HG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

MG29, congratulations on three weeks!
Keep it up.

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Insanity for me was to pick up a drink again and again thinking i could do it different this time round, or i would try to cut down on my intake, but i could never do it. my mind would play mind playing games with me so much today am aware of it. Today i can honestly say i do have sanity in my life having that peace of mind inside yourself and not having that crazy, madness in my life is wonderful.:h my home is so much better living in a peaceful home now !

MG, well done on 3weeks your doing really well keep it up.x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Congrats on the 3 weeks. You've passed the hardest part!

HG: I forgot about the big bottle of cheap vodka. Yes, that's a dead give-away. Living wo/all that craziness is the biggest freedom I could have achieved.

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Oh, yes....I kept my big bottle of cheap vodka in the big pantry cabinet that goes around my fridge on the very bottom row near the floor, and often times slid towards the back so my husband would not notice and make comments.

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Good Morning everyone!

Haven't been here in a while as we made the big move. I made it sober.
We are all moved and partly unpacked.
I don't have as many choices for meetings here as this a a more rural area than my big city living so I realize how spoiled I was. Anyway I will go to them as they are available , a little scary starting over but I'm also excited for meeting new people.
I had a few strong cravings through this move which makes me realize the danger of this disease. As I was getting groceries for the new house, first dinner in new house I thought " oh how nice to have a glass of wine to celebrate!" But thank God for the tools of AA, I just let it pass and said to myself, you idiot, after all this work you've done don't blow it now!, Well.. maybe that really was my higher power saying that to me.
Love all your posts , for this was my meeting this morning.
I can relate to the shame and stupid insanity when buying wine.. I too went to different locations and I would buy the little bottles sometimes with the mind set that they took up less room!!! insanity for sure.

So glad to be sober today!!!

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Cherbear, I'm glad your move went well. I'm also glad you are aware of those thoughts.
My sponsor wrote me a little prayer that says "God, please keep me from insane thinking. Please help me notice the red flags." There's a little more but that's the gist. It has really helped me, when I said it regularly I notice the thoughts a lot more and I can correct them faster. I am an alcoholic no matter what my mind tells me I cannot drink and be ok today or ever.

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 24 - Jan. 30

Hi all,

Just popping in quickly to say hello and that. I have been REALLY busy - although still making at least one meeting a day. I am 4 weeks sober today!

I had a little cry at my second meeting today - one person shared very emotionally and powerfully and it just set off a domino effect of other people admitting their real feelings and some of the stuff they have been scarred by.

One thing one guy said just set me off. "All I ever wanted was to be loved and to be told that everything was OK." - that is like my own words, the exact thing I long for. Just for it to be OK. And to have someone reassure me of that, that no matter what happens it will be OK. One of my mantras that has gone through my head for about ten years is "Nothing will ever be OK ever again." like I've done too much and gone through too much, and know too much to ever be healed. It's a devastating feeling, and maybe I don't believe it as much as I used to. But yeah, what he said really touched that nerve and I had to go and have a sob in the toilets.

It was good though - some of the people in the meeting who know me noticed and came up to give me a hug and check I was alright. And we went out for coffee afterwards, including two of the people who had shared, and we had a really good laugh, which enabled us all to de-stress a bit and calm down.

MG, congrats on over 3 weeks now! And Cher I am glad you managed your move ok and are settling in. Good job on making it sober - moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do.

I will catch up with you all properly later, but just wanted to pop on here - your support is important to me so I feel I should check in even if I'm too busy to write much.
K x