Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: There is a lot going on in my life, but I wanted to let you all know that I'm doing OK. Tonight a friend is speaking at a big meeting...which I'm looking forward to. I'm somewhat wo/a car (my husband's is in the shop), & I haven't thought about drinking once. In the bad old days, being stranded was an excuse to stock up & stay in & drink. None of that now however. My life is so full that I cannot imagine how in the past I managed to get anything done while drinking in between. I know I dragged myself through my days in a very impaired state. Thank God those days are behind me. Mary

[coalfire]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi reteacher. Good luck with your meeting tonight. You sound in good spirits which is always lovely to see on MWO!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

CF: Do you go to meetings? We welcome one & all to come to this thread & share. If you've read here at all, you probably know that this is a very positive & action-oriented thread. Mary

[NoraC]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi all. I went to my Women's meeting tonight. I'm glad that I went. It's a topic discussion and it's interesting to hear the different women talk.
Glad you are doing ok Mary. Sorry so much is going on.
Nice to see you CF.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi Mary, Nora, and all the rest to come along. Welcome Coalfire! I was first attracted to this thread a year ago, after I looked at it a few times. It is, as Mary says, positive and action oriented. To me it was (and still is) like a little oasis of calm.
By the way, I liked the saying you posted on Horsegirl's thread - "If you don't change, your clean date will."

Mary, what you said about feeling stranded, and in the bad old days you'd want to drink (or as I'd do, take it as an opportunity to drink) - we are going to have ice tomorrow, so I'll stay pretty housebound. I didn't think about drinking either - but I did stop at the store and gets lots of stuff I can cook (and run the oven). In the bad old days I'd have worried first about having enough alcohol till the roads thawed. I'm so glad to be a different place now.

I missed my women's meeting tonight, but I felt there in spirit in a weird (good) way. I had a ton of laundry, and had to go put my horse's and my friend's horse's heavy blankets on, and ran out of time. But being out there, and thinking of them, I felt connected anyway. I love that particular group. One of the women had her 27th birthday Saturday, and it was also birthday night, which we do once a month. She's sort of an anchor of that particular meeting, in fact she and some others started it many years ago. In her speech, she mentioned three others, who are no longer living, but how she feels they are still with us. That was such a wonderful thought, and I found it very moving. I was hoping to go tonight and her ask her and hopefully learn more about them.

This lady is kind of like a godmother to us all (I'll say fairy godmother!). Someone from this meeting passed out party horns to toot, and gave her a big foil tiara when she was introduced. It was so cute, and she loved it. She is older, and very ladylike. She is also so full of gentle wisdom, and welcoming and supportive of anyone who comes there. I remember when I was fairly new, and a young woman attended who, if I'd seen her walking towards me on the street, I would have crossed to the other side. She was dirty looking, dirty hair, had a hole in her shirt, was very emotional, crying and appeared very strung out. I was extremely uncomfortable being in the same room with her. At the end of the meeting, this woman goes over to her and takes this scary girl into her arms. I was floored and in also in awe.

I know AA is about the program over personalities, but this woman is such a positive example of what the program is about. It's wonderful to be around that, and to feel a part of that special group (not in a cliquish way either - anyone is welcome, and all are made to feel a part of it).

I hope everyone has a good week. I'll probably drop in again tomorrow, and if the ice stays another day, I'll make this my meeting again on Wednesday.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Last night's meeting was awesome. My husb came w/me, & we heard our friend's talk. It was so filled w/sincerity & humility. He almost lost his marriage as a result of his drinking. He was lucky enough to try AA & when he proved himself, his wife took him back.

The second speaker was also great...very moving. I think what makes AA so unique is the level of emotion there is in the room. Excellent.

Mary

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hello Everyone,

Dance, thanks for sharing that story about the older woman and her love and tolerance of anyone, regardless of their situation or appearance. You are right about her being the perfect example of the program's principles. What a great gift to receive along with sobriety. I think that is what I am finding so great about the program; not only being sober, but learning to live in a way that is so much more peaceful and fulfilling.

Mary, you are also a great example. Sounds like you have a lot to deal with at the moment, but you are taking it in stride and getting to meetings. I think thats the best we can do at times.

Good to see you here Nora and CF.

Have a super, sober day!!!!

Judy

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

HG: Thank you so much. Yes, I'm going to any meeting I can make. My daughter's surgery is next week, but if I can get away to a meeting, I will. AA makes me a better care-giver. If I were drinking now, I wouldn't be any help at all. I know this for sure. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi everyone! Life has been keeping me busy lately but it's so awesome to come here and see all of your posts. I need to make a point of sharing here every few days even in the busiest of times and help keep this fabulous thread alive - it takes a group to do that!

retteacher;1051442 wrote: In the bad old days, being stranded was an excuse to stock up & stay in & drink. None of that now however. My life is so full that I cannot imagine how in the past I managed to get anything done while drinking in between. I know I dragged myself through my days in a very impaired state. Thank God those days are behind me. Mary

Mary, that was my life too. A disaster or crises was something I craved - a perfect excuse to get drunk. We are being hit tonight with the big storms so last night everyone was in the stores stocking up like mad. At an AA meeting this morning, one guy said "stocking up for a storm used to mean 3 cases of beer and some saltines." Boy can I relate! For me it would have been 3 boxes of wine and some vodka, but still! Same idea! I am so grateful I am not living like that today.

Dance, I really enjoyed reading your post about the woman who is the "anchor" in your group. She truly does sound like a living example of the program. Step coach was like that for me. It is so fabulous to have someone to watch living the program in such a wonderful way. What an inspiration.

Welcome to CF! Nora, great to see you here too. When I first started going to AA I just avoided women's meetings like the plague. I now understand that it was my fear of other women that kept me away. These days I'm like you - I love hearing what the other women have experienced.

Being the first day of the second month, our topic this morning at AA was related to Step 2. I'm so grateful that I finally came to believe that a power greater than me could restore me to sanity. I certainly did a crap job of maintaining anything remotely like "sanity" when I tried to muscle my way through life on my own power all those years. What a relief!

DG

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Yes, being snowed in was great because it seemed like, well, if I don't have to be at work/school then I can drink all day guilt free! It's a holiday!

Glad to be sober today, stressful week at school with tests and I'm not using my "study drug" to study so it's harder to sit still and focus but I'm just going to do the best I can and cut myself some slack, because if Im sober then I know I'm good, whether I do perfect on these tests or not.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

I too used to drink when I had brain-work to do: preparing for classes, paperwork, even crosswords. Did I think alcohol made me think better? Talk about insanity! This second month coincides, for me, w/the second step. I try to think about the insanity I endured while drinking. Sometimes I get into denial about that, as I was not homeless, abandoned, financially bankrupt, etc. But:
-I blacked out & missed a lot of days & nights of my life.
-I did a whole lot of crazy stuff to hide my drinking.
-I had a whole lot of crazy thinking...like, "Maybe I'll drink so that I can think, do chores, enjoy a movie, etc. much more than when I'm sober."
-etc.

When I look back on all that now, I wonder how I could feel it was normal. Certainly, I had moments when the denial would break down, & I would have moments of clarity. However, for me, I needed a bottom in order to get sober w/AA. I love MWO & especially this thread, but I'm just not strong enough to get sober on my own. The constant relapsing was so incredibly discouraging. I guess that one awful drunken experience I had was the gift I needed to get.

Our friend Paul spoke on Monday, & his bottom was his wife throwing him out & not taking any empty promises to reform. He had to join AA & really show her that he was a changed man.

Not everyone needs a big bottom like mine or Paul's. Some people say they joined AA because they were "sick & tired of being sick & tired." That's great!

Thank you everyone for being here. We're again snowed in, & while I'd love to be out & about, I don't feel like alcohol would make this a better day indoors. I'm sure the liquor stores were doing quite well last night as some people anticipated the confinement ahead. I'm just glad I'm not one of them. Plus, the money I'm saving on alcohol can be put to better use: maybe taking the g-sons out for a fun lunch.

Yours, Mary

[coalfire]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Thanks for the welcome. No Im not AA. I just like this section of the board. You lot sound so peaceful and together so I like reading your posts. Its very calming somehow!!

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Good Morning, All!!!

Coalfire, I know what you mean about this thread being so calming, peaceful, and together. This thread made me start looking beyond alcohol as the only source of my unhappiness.

Great to see everyone sharing on here. Its amazing to look back on all that insanity and how easy it was just to overlook it all and justify it all as "normal".

I think by "bottom" was just the period of time between me realizing I had a huge problem I was unable to solve myself, and refusing to reach out for help. I went to a lot of motivational speakers, bought and read many self-help books, and did alot of internet reading just trying to find an answer. Problem was the only answers I wanted to find had to fit what I thought I needed, not what I actually needed.

DG glad to see you here, you are right about us all needing to share to keep this great thread alive. At a meeting the other night an oldtimer shared with me that when I first got there he believed I was too quiet and withdrawn to make it in AA meetings. I am still struggling with letting go of all the self-centered insecurities of sharing, but the more I do the easier it is getting.

Have a super day, all!!!!!

Judy

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Coalfire, no matter what tools we use to stop the madness with AL, I think most of us DO need to discover ourselves and make peace with ourselves. I learn a lot about that from the people on this thread. I feel less like a walking hurricane these days.

HG, congrats on your 1 year. I am a blabbermouth but really love watching recovery - especially when someone keeps coming back and goes from being very quiet to sharing a little, and then more over time. It's like watching a flower bloom. I wish I could have watched you in person. As it is, it has been so good to *watch* you bloom in your posts.

Have you picked up your 1 year coin yet? I wasn't around last week so I apologize if I missed you sharing about it. Would love to hear it!

Mary, I'm still in my flannel jammies and very grateful to enjoy the day just puttering around sober. No thoughts of AL for me today. Thank God.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Everyone: I just had to share this:

I was just watching the news about the storm. A newsman was standing on a deserted, snowcovered Main Street of one of our local towns. He related how there are only 2 store open today. One was the local Dollar Store & the other was (yes, you guessed it) the local Liquor Store. I know that 2 years ago, I would have been risking life & limb to get my alcohol. No more, no how! Mary