Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Me too Mary. Me too.

On the Chicago news last night they talked about all downtown hotels that were offering deep discounted rates and the many people staying in the city over night so they could "get to work in the morning." And of course, there was mention of all the "Blizzard specials" at the bars. That made me think of my life in Florida. Hurricane warnings meant "party at DG's house." Thank God a hurricane never made a direct hit to my area because I would have been ill equipped to handle it by the time the hurricane actually arrived. Oy. I am SO glad I don't live in that insanity any more!

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi fellow travelers. Phil? Are you reading along this week? If so...do I recall correctly that you have a phone app you use to find meetings in other towns when you travel? If so, I'd be interested in the name of it. (I'm an iPhone user)

Mean time...I just remembered a very funny story. One of my good AA girlfriends just had a voluntary surgery a couple weeks ago. She has a Sister in the broader Chicago area, but not "right down the street" from where we are or anything. What should have been a one day hospital stay turned into more like a week due to a complication. The sister *wanted* to be there the whole time, but really couldn't with work, family, and the longer distance. It all worked out fine as my friend has so many "sober sisters" right here locally. She had lots of visitors checking in on her, people to do errands when needed, etc. We continually reassured the sisiter that all was fine.

After this order, the sister said to my friend "I wish I was an alcoholic because the fellowship seems awesome - all these friends to support you!" My friend said to her sister "you don't have nearly enough will power to be an alcoholic. You have to be able to keep drinking long after you are sick from drinking. You have to be willing to drink even when you have a wretched hangover. You have to be willing to embarass yourself and drink at all costs. I don't think you have near what it takes to qualify for AA memberhip."

:H:H:H I nearly peed my pants when my friend was telling me about that!!! Indeed, if stupid stamina to keep on drinking through...well....everything is what it takes for AA membership then I am certainly well qualified.

Thought you guys would enjoy that story.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

DG: I did enjoy that story. My husb has come to AA meetings w/me, & we now have many AA friends. He often says that he feels more comfortable in AA than in Alanon, even though he doesn't "qualify" for AA. I just related your story to him...he got a kick out of it.

My daughter's next big surgery in early, early on Wed. We're supposed to get yet another big snowstorm. I can't worry about it, as I can't control the weather. It'll work out the way it's supposed to work out. I just know that we'll be doing a lot of grandparenting. I'll need all my sobriety.

Tomorrow I'll be going to my BB meeting, & hopefully if it doesn't snow, I'll be going to my discussion. I've been housebound, so I haven't been to a meeting since Mon.

Take care one & all. Stay warm.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Mary, a woman I've become friends with is not an AA but an Alanon - her husband has never been able to find sobriety. She comes from a family with much alcoholism and she says she really relates to AA even though she has never drank. She attends Alanon meetings too, but goes to every open AA meeting she can. There is a Big Book study and a 12 & 12 that I go to that are open. Seems that most discussion type meetings are closed and only speaker meetings open, for the most part, around here. So it's really great that she has a couple of study/discussion groups she can attend with us as well.

I won't be able to go to Tough Chicks today because my morning business meeting is at a different location making it impossible to get to Tough Chicks on time. :upset: Will have to catch up there next week. Might go to some other meeting today (maybe at a new place!!). Am looking forward after being housebound for the last couple of days.

DG

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Good Morning, All!!!!


DG, I got a real kick out of the willpower story. And just think how many times we were baffled by our lack of willpower. It does take huge amounts of willpower to force yourself to keep going on with life in the midst of active alcoholism. That was a great story about the fellowship, also. I find it so amazing that the people I seem to click with are the ones I would have guessed the least likely for me to relate to. I am a naive, country girl but I seem to get the most support and companionship from the "hard & fast living" members. Ashamed to say I most likely would have avoided them anywhere else. Another great gift of AA.

Mary, prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family next week. I like how you are making yourself not worry about the weather and all. I read somewhere earlier in the week someone said that the "most troubles I have had in my life have never even happened". I really liked that as I have spent many hours worrying what may happen, could happen, etc.

Happy thoughts to Coalfire, Dance, Marriedgirl, Phil, Catch, and all others!!!

Have a super weekend!!!!

Judy

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

HG, I'm really happy to read your post which HITS HOME the issue of worrying about possible future events. That is a huge issue for me and I still catch myself doing it when I don't realize I'm doing it.

"most troubles I have had in my life have never even happened".

AMEN.

I've been stewing all day on an issue - an administrative task that Mr. Doggy continually blows off that could cause issues if we ever get audited. My stewing is doing nothing to solve the problem. Thank you!! I needed to hear that right now.

Amazing how we can get exactly what we need when we need it if we just open up and look around.

We read part of Dr. Bob's story at Big Book study today. I love his story. It gives me so much hope. I'm also thinking about going to the speaker meeting tonight. I seems a few of my girlfriends are planning to go so I'm sure it will be fun! I have no idea who is speaking and I like that idea - an adventure.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi everyone. Went to a speaker meeting last night. It's funny how that is on Saturday nights - usually a very "social" atmosphere! A bunch of my gal pals were there and it was fun. The speaker was very interesting. He does work bringing AA inside the correctional facilities. Not an easy thing in this state. AA is not allowed in at many places (not sure why??). It is also difficult for them to get volunteers to go in where they CAN go in. This guy said that many people seem to think they would not be able to relate effectively if they haven't been in prison themselves. He said that experience in prison isn't the key thing. Experience drinking is the key thing. He said they put a lot of energy into helping guys connect with AA in regular life once they are released. I can see where "bridging the gap" would be important.

Talked to a guy there who is only a few months sober but his bottom was a lot like mine - he just didn't want to live any more. Thinking back to that time, it doesn't seem like "me" at all any more. It was good to talk about it, and remember where drinking takes me. I cannot afford to forget that.

Hope everyone is having a good day. I've got a bit of a cold, so no meeting for me this morning.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

DG: Here in MA, AA is very much in jails & prisons. Many, many members came to AA through the prison programs. Some are very successful.

It is fun seeing friends at meetings. I just love it...even if it's exchanging just a few words before or after. We missed our fav meeting last night...an ice storm that coated everything w/a thick glaze. Will this winter ever end?

I'm planning on going to a great speaker meeting tomorrow night. I'll see everyone there. Have a great day.


Mary

PS: Of course, tonight's Superbowl Sunday. My SIL, a cop, does a rockin' business on S. Sunday. People get juiced up & then all heck breaks loose.

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hey all - hope you're all ok. I am really struggling at the moment. Haven't drank YET but all the red flags are waving. I think I need to get a sponsor pretty soon, but I just don't know how to do it really.

I want to find someone who has experienced similar patterns to me and who really understands the program, but i haven't heard anyone like that yet. It is especially tough to find a woman, what with the ratios.

I am only 5 weeks sober and been doing AA for a month, with meetings at least daily. I was going to wait until I had done 90/90 and then seek out a sponsor but I think i need one sooner rather than later.

I have massive reservations as well about asking anyone - I don't even call people when I need to - because i have a HUGE problem asking for help. It's part of my personality disorder - it's not just hard, it's nigh-on impossible for me at the moment.

And I feel like I won't even know how to pick the right person because I don't understand the blinkin program and all that. I haven't 'got it' yet so how can I know who can guide me through it best?

I don't know what to do - I almost wish someone would just say 'ok, i'm your sponsor', just to get me out of asking and get me started. Argh, I hate this part of me which finds it hard to do what I know I need to. But where might I find someone suitable and how can I go about asking them when i feels impossible? Any advice?

Thanks
K x

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Kimberly,

Sorry you are having a difficult time. I haven't enough experience in AA yet to offer any sound advice, but maybe it would be easier to get a phone list, and just call some of the people on it that you feel most comfortable with and explain how you are struggling. I think they may be able to direct you to someone on a temporary basis to help get you through these.

Some of these people may even know of someone in the program that fits you better that might go to different groups.

I know reaching out for help is so hard, but we cannot do this alone. There are so many out there who know exactly how you feel, and really want to help.

Best Wishes,

HG

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi Kimberly,
sorry to hear your struggling, you can get a tem sponsor for now, try and get to as many meetings, also share when you go to meetings that you are really struggling do not keep this inside it very important there notthing worse then saying your alright when your not.
I dont call my sponsor as often as i should and i neeed to do that easy said, but doing it is the harders, but you will be surprise if you ring one of your fellowship friends it really does help a lot just do it.Also at meetings they do have a list of people that can sponsor you. You dont need to understand the program dont worry about that dont make thing hard for you, read to day reflection i ws going to copy it on here today. It a simple program but we make it complicated for some reason, but it not.
Keep busy and please check in and let us know how things are with you . x:l

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jan. 31 - Feb. 5

Hi everyone. Kimberly, I can really relate to not wanting to ask for help!!!! Me too!!! When I first started going to AA and heard people talking about "the 500 pound (in weight LOL) phone" I just glossed right over that. Because "I didn't need to call people or reach out to people." I was fine on my own. :nutso:

It's a great step to come on here and be honest about your fears, but also accepting the wisdom of others tha despite your fears, you need to ask for help. I second the suggestions already given - especially these:

1. If there is a woman you even remotely connect with, ask her if she would sponsor you temporarily. Be honest about your uncertainies in terms of who would make the "right" sponsor. The whole purpose of a temporary arrangement is so BOTH parties can make sure it will work before making a longer term committment.

2. While I don't advocate taking a wide spread poll, I think it's a good idea to ask one or two respected veteran AAers who they suggest.

A huge mistake I made with my first sponsor was subconsciously seeking someone who I viewed as being weak. I really resisted being "told what to do" so I think I subconsciously picked someone that I could call the shots with. That didn't work. I now look at the women I used to think would make horrible sponsors and recognize that emotion as FEAR. And those very women are probably some of the best sponsors out there.

Don't over think it! Get a temporary sponsor and get on with the business of learning, growing, recovering. You won't regret it. Even if your first choice doesn't work out, you will learn from it anyway.

Hang in there. This getting sober business isn't easy but it is SO rewarding! Take your life back!

DG