Focused February - Week 3

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 3

Evening Everyone

Lav - a full moon baby.... come on that would be great! We never sleep well on the full moon anyway so might as well have some excitement to keep us up

Papmom - wow what a fishtank! Do you have some agility courses in there?

Sped - we would love to hear from you, its never as bad once you share it, thats the beauty of this site and of our close little thread here. We all want to help, please lean on us.....

Piper - I had dreadful night sweats everytime i quit drinking, when I finally quit they lasted about two weeks but im sure its different for us all. My body has undergone many changes in the last year, all hugely positive. We dont realize how AL affects every single cell and organ in our bodies. My blood pressure actually plummeted quite worryingly and it took over 8 months to regulate it. I was advised that it can take up to a year for everything to start functioning again without the dependancy of AL. Actually I have also had a few night sweats again recently which are hormonal related which I am monitoring. Im definately not yet menopausal.

As you know I leave for Scotland tomorrow and early in January I was asked by Wannachange if I would come over to Ireland for One2many's birthday meetup next weekend. We secretly planned it as its only a 40 minute flight between Glasgow and Dublin and I finally came clean to the Army this morning that I would be joining them next weekend. The next 10 days is going to be full of reunions with friends and families and it will be good for me to get away..... My ipad will be going with me and I will be regularly checking in.

[papmom3]

Focused February - Week 3

Hey Chill-you win the prize for figuring out what the tank is all about :H :H !! your trip back home sounds wonderful and how great that your parents will be house/dog sitting for you!! I'm sure they could do with some nice weather for a change!! Have a great meetup in Dublin and please say hi to everyone there for me/us. It's one of the cities on my bucket list that's for sure!! Happy travels and psyched that you will be able to keep in touch. Go IPad!!

Sooty-so good to see you again! I totally get the gloomies so I feel your pain. They will be gone soon-just hang in there. Post here more often, even if its just to say hi-we'll cheer you up!!

Finally got down to business with the crock pot and the Asian Style Pork Chops are in as I type. They smell delish and it was very easy and quick to put together. Don't know why I fight this so much!! I'll let you know how they turn out.

Its early afternoon here, about 60 and I need to get my arse in gear and do something productive like take the doggies for a walk. Too bad I don't live near the ocean-that would be perfect. Hmmm, only an hour or so away tho......Stay tuned!

[Rusty]

Focused February - Week 3

Hi Everyone,

I'm at work. Checkin' in.

Shelley-are you all alone....do you have anyone you can talk to? I'm worried about you.:l Please let us know what is going on with you and how this happened. You are so loved here.

Papmom-fabulous fish tank! I wish I could have one in my condo. I find watching the fish swim around to be a very soothing feeling.

Lav-I thought of you today as I know it's your mom's birthday.:h

Chillgirl-glad you'll have lots of fun with wanna and the others at the meet-up.

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 3

Years ago I kept a large tank of Angel fish in my kitchen.
I had no idea that 'angels' could be rather nasty with each other (brutal actually). When they had babies I did as advised & removed the babies to a safe place to prevent them from getting eaten by the adults - eeewwww! I gave the whole mess to my SIL - I really couldn't stand them anymore :H

I picked up several more bags od doggie droppings today - that is all!

Nothing happening with my daughter yet.
Tomorrow is the 19th & we've been thinking........
OK, I was born Dec 19, my daughter on Jan 19th so maybe her daughter will be born Feb 19th

Just want everyone to know that Shelley will be on her way home to NM tomorrow.
Lets all wish her a safe trip & lots of peace & love :l

[Rusty]

Focused February - Week 3

Shelley...

Please be careful on that long drive. Come back to us. We love you and miss you and we will help you sort this all out.

Lav...maybe if you blasted Saturday Night
Fever on a boom box, the baby would pop right out to get away from the noise! Hahaha

[being me]

Focused February - Week 3

Morning All..I have achieved monthly abstinence before but it was just before the annual camping trip with friends where the programis 10 days of fishing drinking and eating and more drinking. That was Xmas so I am aiming for monthly abstinence x10 taking one month at a time so that I am able to go on the annual camp and be one of the few non drinkers...fingers crossed

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 3

Hi there being me, welcome to the thread.
Good for you deciding to join the non-drinkers! You have 10 months to work on yor sobriety & be stronger for next year's trip

I'm still waiting & waiting for my granddaughter to make her arrival. Nothing happening today, oh well theres always tomorrow.

[cyntree]

Focused February - Week 3

Hello all - is it really the 3rd week in February?! I feel like Alice coming up out of the rabbit hole -- many tales to tell , but will write more after I have finally read the last 3 plus weeks of your words. Have missed everyone so much, and so often think of you all....

Lav - yes, I always do think of you around the full moon, and worry about how you are sleeping! I'm sending 'delivery' vibes to your daughter. I'm sure you have been thinking about your Mom a lot; I think her spirit must be close to you now.

Sped, Sped -- stay close!!!! Feel the embrace and healing. There is nothing that cannot be solved, you are loved here...can't wait to hear more from you.

Everyone; wishing you a safe, healthy weekend. Will try check in again asap.

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 3

Good morning focused ones

Star - i too see such an enormous change in your thinking towards AL and indeed to life. Its wonderful to hear the transformation in your posts and i get excited feeling the shift you are experiencing. :l

:welcome: Being Me

Cyn! So good to hear from you please tell us all your news....

You know guys, sometimes it just hits you BANG between the eyes and today i woke up feeling the most over whelming relief and gratitude that im sober. I forget on a day to day basis how different my life is, how healthy i feel, how much more mentally stronger i am and how absolutely EVERYTHING in my life has changed. Sometimes i wonder how i got here and under estimate just how determined and single minded i must have been. Lets give thanks today for all the strength we find to remain AF beit for a day, a week or a month. Lets celebrate ourselves and give us a mighty pat on the back!

[rebirth]

Focused February - Week 3

Sped- Thinking of you as we all know how addictive AL is. I send you a lot of inner strength and love.

Hi Star- Thanks for asking about my AF journey. I managed to be AF in Jan but I have had a couple of drinks since then. I seem to be okay with this method as I never drink out of control and get myself in a drunken state.If I can stay this way then I am happy with it. I think…. I just take it day by day but so far so good. You say you moderated with limited success..what happened?
I am glad to hear that you are feeling upbeat about your progress. Well done!

P3- I love your fishtank. Really colourful. Was thinking of getting one for my son but I don’t know who would look after them when I go on holiday/vacation.

Sooty- it’s this blasted weather. Jan and feb are the worse months for our moods!

Chill- Safe trip to Scotland. I hope you can understand their unique accent!

He Rustop, p3, Lav, cassia, piper123, rusty, John, Mr G

[rustop61]

Focused February - Week 3

Good morning everyone

Glad Shelly has checked in with someone. Sending her lots of positive vibes.

:welcome: Being me. This is a great thread. Let us know a bit about you.

Chill - enjoy your time in Scotland and Dublin. Sometimes a change of scene gives you the boost you need. Weather has been miserable but it will make you appreciate what you have!!

Sooty - know what you mean, this is a depressing time of year. Stay driving the bus, we need you to stay on course.

Rebirth - Glad you are doing well. It is a different journey for all of us. We all have to find our own way out.

Tired this morning. Daughter was at an 18th birthday party last night so it was after 2 am when I got to bed.

Lav - I forget that the two educational systems are different. We have a three tier system here. Primary (5yrs - 12 yrs approx). Post primary (13th - 18 yrs) and Third Level (University). Post primary can be either 5 or 6 years depending on whether you do a Transition year. This is your 4th year and the emphasis is not so much educational as emotional development. They do the core subjects, English, Irish, Maths and a foreign language and then modules of other subjects. For example in business there are three subjects, accounting, economics and business. They try all three but may only take one for their leaving cert exam. They do three weeks work experience. One has to be community based, another in an area they might be interested in working in and the third they get to choose. They take photography courses, flower arranging, go on field trips, put on a musical with the local boys school and all in all have a ball. It is optional in the girls school and both of mine chose to do it. Some kids find it great, others have difficulty getting back into study after it, depends on the kid.

Well better go and walk the doggies. Have a great AF Saturday everyone.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

Focused February - Week 3

Good morning to all.....

Rebirth, moderate with limited success. HA! I managed to go to a few social things and only have two drinks. However, it set up the craving, made me want to smoke, and than days later led to out of control drinking. For me, that is over three drinks, I can black out, I am hungover, horrible anxiety depression, tossing and turning all night, and then eating junk trying to heal. I always agonized as I am an a## when I drink, saying stupid things, acting out of character. It is so humilitating. Looking back at it, I know that I was bullshi**ing myself, totally not being honest. It is just such a depressing cycle. Oh, and I didn't mention how even with two drinks, a nagging pain on my right side. Always. Very scary. So, what does alcohol do for me? An hour or two of feeling good(?) then days of feeling sick and tired, depressed and anxious, ashamed and upset.

What do I get by staying AF? Feeling healthy, no nagging pain on my right side, sleeping well, cheerful and energetic mood, laughing more, dealing with my life, positive feelings, getting right with my Higher Power, focusing on the good things in life. Keeping up with household stuff, bills, money, doing a much better job at work, always answering the phone at night, never feeling shame, regret. When depressed or anxious feelings hit I am able to manage them, ask for support or do something good for myself. I am just going on because I feel so strongly about this.

Also, I have been having some interesting conversations with my daughter. I told her I am just not drinking. I did not say forever, I just said that I don't want to drink. She and I discussed the issue of having that first drink and it never being enough. It just sets up a craving, then the cycle of too much and hangover. She was telling me that guests are coming and she does not want to go to the bars. We talked about options she has. She can just say, I don't go to the bars anymore, how about I drop you off and you can call me for a ride. Or, we can go to a movie, or rent one. And if they don't like that, it is OK. She has to do what is right for her. It will be interesting to hear from her today and see what she decided to do. I am just glad that she is realizing at such a young age that she is just better off having a pop, tea, whatever, anything without booze. I love her so much and know that she has suffered from her alcohol consumption. Like mother, like daughter.

Chill, have fun and a safe trip. I will be looking for all your posts to live vicariously through your travels. I too feel so grateful to be AF, incredibly grateful. I understand your attitude about your sobriety and agree, you are incredibly single minded and determined.:h

I am going to be busy today...I gave myself the afternoon and evening off yesterday. So, today is exercise, laundry, cleaning, bills, and putting up my St. Pat's day decorations. It is always a harbinger of spring, and is fun.

To all, have a lovely, magical AF day.:l

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 3

Good morning Focused Ones!

The beautiful Spring weather of the last few days is gone. Back to cold & very, very windy. I hate being teased like that

Cyn - you must have felt the vibes I've been sending your way
So glad to hear from you today. Can't wait to hear your tales, hope they are all good

Chill, it is such a gift to wake up feeling strong, refreshed & ready for anything! That's one of the reasons I continue to come here everyday - to remember & to celebrate this precious gift of sobriety.

Rustop, thanks for the schoo info! It sounds pretty interesting & I think that would have been perfect for my son, maybe not so much for my daughter. My son actually did a work release program during his senior year in high school, it was good for him. But he was able to get right back into study mode to complete his 4 year college degree.

rebirth, good to see you & I just want to say, tread very carefully. My original desire to learn moderate drinking was gone by the time I reached 30 AF days. I just knew, deep down that it was going to be impossible for me.

Star, I hope you stay as happy as you are right now
Take full advantage of your freedom from AL - do whatever pleases you! How nice that you & your daughter had that chat.

Well, I'm still on Stork Watch!!!!!!!!!

Have a great day one & all!
Lav

[papmom3]

Focused February - Week 3

Star's Sandwich Post

On 2/11 Star asked:

Stargazerlily;1057490 wrote:
Papmom, so wonderful you have nine months AF. Is it hard to remember how horrible you used to feel when drinking?

So finally, here is my answer:

No. It is not hard to remember how horrible I used to feel when drinking:

• If at a party or at dinner with family trying so hard to speak and act "normally" when I was clearly intoxicated and actually thinking I pulled it off
• Driving home with one eye shut because of double vision and praying I wouldn't get pulled over
• Waking up at 3 in the morning or earlier with "Ghandi's Flip Flop Mouth", clogged sinuses, horrible heartburn and heart racing like crazy
• Not being able to get back to sleep until it was almost time to get up
• Being late for work because I overslept
• Wasting a day off due to a hangover
• The headaches and fatigue
• The cravings for junk food ALL DAY because high fat and greasy junk food cures a hangover right?
• The upset digestive system due to the junk food and AL comboThe very puffy eyes and blotchy skinThe overall bloatThe realization I had ONCE AGAIN passed out before feeding the dogs and catsThe lack of focus and the cobwebs throughout the dayNot remembering conversations the night before if I was out socializingThe good intentions of exercise, eating right, working hard-right out the windowThe promise to myself not to drink "tonite" and breaking that promise every single nite as I pulled into the liquor store on the way homeCalling in sick at least once a week the past 2 years-coincidentally I would say my drinking escalated big time about 6 months after I took the job I'm in now. Although I know now I have always had a drinking problem possibly even alcoholism, the amount I was drinking before I took this job was about half when at home alone. Always way too much when with family or friends.

So, there you have it Star. All of the above has stayed in the front of my mind every single day and every single time I have even one little thought about drinking again. Like Lav, I can never go back and can never moderate. More power to those who can as long as they are not fooling themselves. I am done fooling myself. I am loving life right now and doing things I've never done before and taking more risks. I may only have 30 or 40 more years on this earth but I plan to make the best of every single one of them!!
Oh, and today at WW? I lost 4.6 lbs!!!!

:l :h

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 3

Evening guys from Scotland

Im loving my parents tranquil little home, it doesnt have the nature sounds im used to but its a very quiet neighborhood and no traffic noise. Im meeting my two Sisters for lunch tomorrow and already one has been on the phone bitching about the other! I'd forgotten about family politics