trying again - feeling overwhelmed

[bear73]

well - moderation isn't working for me.

I am now drinking over my recommended units each week and have had drinks mid week a couple of weeks running.I don't even know how much I drank last night but feel awful - drank over a bottle of wine evening before that and was hungover all day yesterday.

I'm just scared I can't do it again. I need to start from the beginning again I'm sick of feeling hungover/bloated and missing gym at weekends (I've not been at all this weekend).
Ate takeaway junk food on way home and got to bed about 4am.

Plan to eat fruit, drink lots and have a nice roast dinner.Tomorrow is my day at the spa and gym so will read some af literature and focus again.I am also the heaviest I have ever been - intuitive eating approach not working fast enough for me. Finally kicked the cigarettes though on positive note.

[Cassia]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Hi bear...

I think you hit the nail on the head there. You have to focus! Get your plan together (looks like you have a good start), read and post lots and take care of yourself.

Remember that there are a lot of people on this site with long term sobriety who have been in your positions. Take inspiration from them. You know you can do this, you know what you need to do /9 dust yourself off, put a small on you face and welcome yourself to this awesome new phase of your life...:h

[spuddleduck]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

bear, sorry the drinking has escalated.... but bloody well done on the smokes. i too have put on weight and am not exercising enough. perhaps you could focus on that. when you feel like drinking think of the calories and think of how you wont be able to exercise when your hungover. sometimes seeing the bigger picture can help

[kaza]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Hi Bear
Well done on trying again. Don't give up, you can do it, I know you can. Cos most of us have had the same happen to us - if at first we don't succeed - try, try again. We all feel overwhelmed at times, and it takes time for things to pan out. My husband cooks a mean roast, which we had for lunch today - awesome, hope you enjoyed yours as much. I get a buzz now out of remembering what I ate for dinner the night before - which for a long while I couldn't - because I had had too much to drink. Tomorrow is another day and you WILL MAKE IT. Always believe in yourself and good things will happen and dreams will come true. Sometimes it just takes us a little time to get where we want to be. CONGRATULATIONS on kicking the ciggie habit - I gave up 11 years ago - with the help of my Dr and at the same time talked to him about my drinking and he said - one thing at a time - so once we kick one thing, then we can start kicking another, but I don't think it's fair on yourself to try and do everything at the same time, so don't be so hard on yourself, you will make it. I think Spuddleduck has the right idea, focus on the exercise when you feel like drinking and consider the empty calories. Have faith and keep posting because all the fantastic people on this site can and will help us. My new addiction is hot milk before bed - works a treat and tastes so yummy - a few days ago it would have been a glass of wine. My Dr has put me on Naltrexone which seems to be doing the trick, gets rid of the craving. Are you taking any meds to give you a bit of help? Love and Sunshine Kaza x

[Stargazerlily]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Bear, hey,
I know where you are at as I have been back and forth too many times to count. But, you have had periods of being AF so you know you can do it. You have the skills, you can add to your toolbox, and hard as it is, start again. I was able to start again and realize that I truly am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Make it through today, be good to yourself. We are here to support you, you have an entire team behind you.

I just realized I can't drink at all. It sets me up for failure. Over and over again. I may drink sensibly on occasion, but then all of a sudden I will overdo it, and the cycle starts again. I have a feeling the same thing happens to you. So be good to yourself and start healing today. Sending you healing and hope.

[papmom3]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Hi Bear-I feel for you, I really do. I think the key to totally being AF is just plain accepting that you can't drink like a normie. There is something different about us-its in our genes and our biochemistry makeup and it was there from the time we took our very first drink. I totally understand how this is probably harder for you than most of us. You are young, in your prime and in a business that glorifies alchohol and expects AL to be a huge part of the "life". I don't envy you. But at the same time, if you can come to terms with who you really are and that you cannot drink, at all, you will save yourself years of spiraling down down down until you finally hit rock bottom and you have no choice or you will die. Don't go through the next 20 or 30 years like so many of us have where we are now trying to reclaim our lives at 50 or older. Don't get me wrong, it a wonderful life now that I'm AF and it is better late than never but oh what I could have done with it 20 or 30 years ago if I had just given in to my suspicions that I had a problem and did something about it then.
It really does get easier and easier, especially when you finally accept that one fact: "I cannot drink. AL is poison to me in a way it is not to other people."

I promise!!:h

[Doggygirl]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Welcome back Bear. I know I can't drink safely, EVER. How about you? Oh I could probably try to drink and control it. Maybe that would even work once in awhile. But you know what? I would never know for SURE. There is just something in me that happens when I take the first drink. It's very likely that I'm going to just keep on drinking until something bad happens. Maybe I would just gain weight and be hungover and miserable. Or maybe my liver would fail and I'll have diabetes. But there is just no GOOD outcome to be imagined when it comes to me and AL.

P3 said some powerful stuff there.

So Bear, what are you going to do differently this time? What does your sobriety plan look like now?

I am so glad you are back. We all have to just keep trying different things until we find our way out.

DG

[bear73]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Hey all thanks for the replies and the food for thought - P3 that was a wake up call.
I look at my join date on here and I've already faffed about for quite a few years.

My plan

exercise
sit with difficult feelings (don't try and run as they will fade)
stock up on my AF favourite drinks
focus on each day - not forever
avoid events where others will be drinking heavily
plan non alcohol based social activities
read inspirational books daily

[Jolie]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Bear,

I too thought I could moderate. When I first joined here, I knew I needed to cut back and that was really my only plan. Sure - cut back for a while but just went back to my old ways. Second time back I had a little more determination - knew I wasn't doing my body any good and was "sick of being sick" like lots of others here. Also went back to my old ways after may be 16 days of being AF. I know it's an old cliche' but "third time's a charm"!

The difference for me this time was that I just totally got fed up with this way of living. 48 days of being AF has totally changed my outlook on life and the way my life used to be. You alone can make the decision about your situation but obviously if you've been here before, you know how much support we are all willing to give you! You can do this! I'm a believer now - not saying it's going to be easy but it will be so worth it. Just a side note, I'm in the middle of reading Allen Carr's the easy way to quit drinking - gives you a whole new perspective on AL and the mind.

Good luck to you on your journey - hope to see you here posting and sharing - it really helps!

[momof3]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

bear73;1063562 wrote: Hey all thanks for the replies and the food for thought - P3 that was a wake up call.
I look at my join date on here and I've already faffed about for quite a few years.

My plan

exercise
sit with difficult feelings (don't try and run as they will fade)
stock up on my AF favourite drinks
focus on each day - not forever
avoid events where others will be drinking heavily
plan non alcohol based social activities
read inspirational books daily

Hi Bear,

I'm wondering if it might be helpful for you to look at your previous plans to see what, if any, ways this one is different.

[Gaia]

trying again - feeling overwhelmed

Dear Bear,

First of all, I send lots of compassion your way. It is hard going through this and it never gets better.

I look at your plan:

My plan

exercise
sit with difficult feelings (don't try and run as they will fade)
stock up on my AF favourite drinks
focus on each day - not forever
avoid events where others will be drinking heavily
plan non alcohol based social activities
read inspirational books daily

I do not see your commitment to stop drinking alcohol. Until you make that commitment it just won't work.

Waiting for you to decide you are ready.

With love,
T.