Focused February - Week 4

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 4

Evening guys

Lav - 26 birds and not one a stork!

Jolie - I find Europe much more romantic than Scotland. My most fav place being Italy! I have been to the States many times and been lucky enough to visit both the east and west coasts.

Paguy - I was on the phone last night to a friend in Portugal who had tale after tale to tell me about events I'd missed last weekend involving people I know and AL. It's SO tragic! Lots of appalling behavior, arguments and completely pointless aggravation.

Star - oh yes I know what you mean by that sense of calm my moods are much more consistent now I'm AF, I'm calm and balanced most of the time and much more "body" aware than ever before. I literally feel everything which either agrees or not with my body, i.e. I can tell when I've eaten junk as i immediately feel less good. When I exercise, eat healthy, drink plenty water and herbal tea my body tells me and I'm rewarded by feeling physically and mentally fantastic. I never had this experience when I drank because I guess I always felt less than good. I wouldn't swap this well being for anything! It's a pure joy to be so in touch with my body and it keeps me wanting to treat myself with loving care.

[Dewdrop]

Focused February - Week 4

Hi all,
I had a great day at work today it was so productive and I was able to achieve a huge amount. Doesn?t it make you feel great when you end the day feeling good? I am tired though so I am going to get into my jammies shortly and surf in bed, maybe catch up on some knitting ? I realise I must sound a bit dull but you know what ? I?m happy!!

John I appreciate what you are saying, my brother has had a few life issues recently and while he has always been a bit of a drinker this has escalated quite dramatically. I tried talking to him last week and he would have none of it, became quite abusive which is not like him at all. It?s sad really but I just don?t know how to help him unless he wants to help himself. All I can hope is that I?m planting a few seeds that will start to germinate, at least he knows I am there for him. Star I will check out the geen tea - thanks.

Right off to get the knitting (more socks!) and lurk a little. We are certainly flying through this month guys.

Dewdrop :h

[Cassia]

Focused February - Week 4

Hi all

Thanks for the welcomes and congrats on my 60+ days. It was a huge achievement for me and i definitely feel like i passed a point and I am now in this for the long haul. I just couldn't go back to my old life - not that it was dramatically different but I got my focus back.

Dew - sometimes being so focused, committed and determined can be a downfall. When I take on something, I give it everything - always have. But it can feel like you are chasing your next challenge. I am hoping this slows a bit once I get a job back in the States. It is my last big challenge. Reading your last post it sounds like you are getting your mojo back.

John - I am sorry to hear that some of your friends are struggling and you are stuck on how to help them. I think you hit the nail on the head though - they can only help themselves. You are a smart guy, I am sure you will come up with a way to discuss it with them without sounding preachy. It is a difficult balance though. If I come up with any ideas i will let you know.

Jolie & Star - totally agree with you on the calm side - I just don't have the constant worry of what did i say or who did I offend. It's great to not worry.

P3 - what agility training do you do?

:hallo: Rustop, Lav and Chill - love reading your posts!

Apologies if i missed anyone!!!

I think someone asked here what I did - I am a qualified accountant but work in banking lending charities and companies money. I love my job. And I am not the typical boring accountant!!!

x

[Guitarista]

Focused February - Week 4

Stork, stork, STORK!

Hi all,

Sending my tax particular's over to you now Cassie. I should get a couple of thousand back, right?
Dewdrop, if you have any spare sock's with a dodgy thread or something, i'll have a pair!
Where are you Sped? Please check in.

My thought's and condolences are with our New Zealand member's and friend's.

A safe, sober, and magical day to everyone.

[Cassia]

Focused February - Week 4

Hey g,

Not a tax accountant unfortunately!!! Those are the really boring ones!!! X

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Afternoon!

Chill - you just made me think. Maybe I should be looking for a chicken flying over carrying a pink bundle & not a stork :H:H

Dewdrop & Cassia, you both sound happy & relaxed, not boring. Enjoy the peace & calm, OM!

Hi G! I've been watching the news covering the NZ eartquake, very sad indeed.

No news to report - yet

I'd just love to hear from Dill. Shelley & LBH :l

[paguy]

Focused February - Week 4

Hello Friends:

Thanks for your comments and feedback on my post earlier today. It sounds like most of you can relate to similar experiences. That's what I love about this website and thread - lots of support and friends who can provide relevant feedback. Thank You.

I had another interesting realization today (okay, I know I'm probably overanalyzing but that's part of my makeup). My partner has been out of town on business since last Saturday and won't be home until Friday evening. So, it's just been me and the doggie In the past, I would be reveling in being completely 'free' to start drinking as early in the evening and as much as I could without trying to hide what I was doing under the watchful eye of Mr. Partner. I think part of me is 'mourning' that old lifestyle - not necessarily wanting it back but recognizing that my behaviors were very different just 7 months ago. It's both scary and liberating to think that life can change so quickly. I am grateful for the changes I've made.

Lav - I hope the stork arrives soon!

Hope everyone is having a peaceful humpday....

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Don't let the behavior change worry you John -
I think we all neede a little work in that department. At least I knlow I did

Heard from LBH tonight. She is OK & just doing her own thing right now. Oh & she is lurking - beware :H
Sending :l to each & everyone.

Lav

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 4

Good morning guys

Paguy - I went through a huge mourning period in the early months of sobriety, it was a real emotional roller coaster but all a necessary process. All this is good news as it means your healing! Any behavior we have habitually undertaken for many years is understandably going to leave a gaping hole which need to be filled. What is wonderful is your awareness of it.... we gave up on so much awareness in our drinking days and our new eyes see so much.

This is the 1st day since I arrived in Scotland that I don't have a full day of seeing friends and family and I'm looking forward to a peaceful day just living like a native

[spedteach]

Focused February - Week 4

Hey guys, I'm in Texas. Got sick on the way home from IN, ER sick in the middle of Oklahoma. Much better now. My poor husband actually took a bus out to drive home with me. Plan on staying put for awhile.
Just want you all to know my struggle with al is ever present but I am now 5 days af.....big deal but better than nothing.
Have missed you all.
Shelley

[Stargazerlily]

Focused February - Week 4

Thursday, Thursday, so close to Friday, and I love it.

Man, I had a bad craving yesterday, it upset me. But I knew what to do. Come home, eat, and ride it out. Eat a little more, some nuts, green tea, and felt better. I realize this will happen from time to time, and I know what to do. Ireally don't want alcohol, I will wake up feeling really bad, and feel sick all the next day. Yes, even with one or two drinks. That is where I left off, and it is where I am at. So, just wanted others to know that if they get the urge, a craving, they are not alone. Just have your master plan available. Know your weak time. Remember HALT. That is always it for me. Eat something and reevaluate. Is it worth it? Heck no.

Great active thread, lot going on.

PAguy, it is upsetting to have our friends and loved ones trashed. Yet, as you pointed out, they have to want to change. I remember one time my husband left on a trip, and I planned my drinking every evening. But only, one bottle of wine. Crazy, I looked forward to it all day. So glad that lifestyle is behind me.

To, have a great AF day.

[dill]

Focused February - Week 4

Well done on fighting that craving, Star!

Sped, well done on day 5! I am so glad you posted and that you are safe.

I have been off the rails lately myself. I'm sorry to have dropped off the thread without a word but I just didn't quite know how to connect. I have been lurking and I appreciate all those questions as to my whereabouts. I am here. Like Sped, I am on day 5.

I am a victim of my own lack of committment. You long timers on this thread have heard me say more than once that I was still struggling with the acceptance that I can't drink. The finality has always been an issue for me. I am back to working on that acceptance. I think my recent experience moved me ever closer to it.

Thank you one and all for being here.

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Good morning Focused friends,

Shelley, blessings on you. I'm so glad you are OK. I wish you nothing but the best. Continue to take good care of yourself :l

:l to you as well sister Dill!
I've missed you ladies & am happy to see you check in.

Star, congrats on your actions yesterday - you hit the nail right on the head

I suppose levels of commitment would be an interesting topic of conversation today.
Thinking back to the numerous times I quit drinking or smoking over the years - I see a huge difference now with my current quits. I started these quits with the notion that these will be the final quits! I was so tired & disgusted with myself, tired of torturing myself really. My commitments really involved the decision to finally stop beating myself up & start being kinder to myself. It really only took a few weeks before I realized that I liked the results & wanted to keep that good feeling going. So that's why I continue on this path.

GM to Chill, Cassia, papmom, John & all who drop in today.
I am still on stork watch of course although I'm also going to start looking for a flying chicken - you just never know :H

Lav

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 4

I'm very happy to see Sped and Dill checking in...

I have to say that it has concerned me recently with some of us struggling that maybe we are not supportive enough on this thread. I think it's wonderful we exchange the goings on in our daily lives which is an important insight to give each other of how life goes on but maybe we don't discuss AL enough?? I don't like to think any of us feel they can't come here when it all goes pear shaped. I'd love others to tell me what you think....

Without realizing it consciously I fought for years the "foreverness" bit of giving up drinking. I knew deep down I had a problem for years but couldnt face the thought of a lifetime without it, it was too intertwined in my lifestyle. I battled with moderation for such a long time and failed miserably everytime. I guess by the time I found MWO I had reached the acceptance in my head that it had to be a lifetime commitment. So for me there was never any resentment only gratitude I'd finally reached that point. I do see however that acceptance can be the biggest issue and I'm not sure how you can instigate getting there. For me it was choosing to change every aspect of my life and realizing what I had been clinging to wasn't worth a stuff anyway! I also changed how I looked at my body which provides such a safe wonderful home for my soul. I hated the way I disrespected it and now feel so good when I exercise the self care that I do.

The process is not just a few thoughts, it's millions of little ones that need to change, but instead of believing it's too difficult to change them, believe it's as simple as choosing what we have for dinner. We already makes zillions of choices every day and choosing not to drink is one of them.

[prancy]

Focused February - Week 4

I have been lurking on this site and posting on others. Since I only have a little over two weeks AF, I didn't think I had enough time to be authentic on here, but I see that we all struggle and I like the way we support each other. Love the last several posts. I don't think on the many times I have tried to moderate that I have ever really accepted the thought o f forever. I think I always have thought in terms of long enough that everyone will forget about the last time and I can convince them I can moderate again. but no one really believed that and frankly, neither do I. But the world seems to revolve around drinking situations and I hate the feeling of being on the outside. I get really anxious. I am going on a six week trip to India at the end of march and am in a total panic about it. I need to work on both acceptance and commitment!